Linda arrived on Friday afternoon. She was a bit late, so Mum and Dad had to leave almost immediately. Mum stood in the hall and hugged Rosie and me like hugs were going out of fashion.
‘Oh my precious little babies,’ she said, ‘I am going to miss you so, so much.’
Dad grinned at me over Mum’s shoulder.
‘If we don’t get moving, Sheila,’ he said, ‘It’ll be too late to pitch the tent and we’ll have to book in to a hotel.’
Mum let go of Rosie and me like we were on fire.
‘No way. No hotels for us. We’re camping, just like we did the last time.’
She backed out the door.
‘Bye girls. Love you both. Be good. Bye Linda. I left a list of instructions on the kitchen table. I’ll phone you tomorrow to see how you’re getting on. Bye girls. Love you lots. Do what Linda tells you. Don’t forget…’
By now Mum was in the car and Dad was driving away. Soon they were out of sight, and if Mum was still giving instructions, it didn’t matter because we couldn’t hear them anymore.
Linda took Rosie by the hand and the three of us went into the kitchen. Linda picked up ‘The List’ and read it carefully. Then she stuck it onto the fridge, with the writing turned in.
‘I’m in charge now,’ she said.
She reached into her handbag,
‘Anyone feel like a Mars Bar?’
Rosie and I ran and grabbed the chocolate. This was going to be so, so good. This was going to be like Christmas – only better.
Pity there was just one small problem.
A few minutes later, the problem rang the doorbell.
I let Alice in and brought her in to the kitchen. Linda gave her a bar of chocolate too. I wondered if she’d have been quite so nice if she’d known exactly what Alice had planned for her.
While Linda played with Rosie, Alice and I went to my room.
Alice threw herself on to my bed.
‘I’ve learned a lot from the thing with Miss O’Herlihy,’ she said.
‘Like what?’ I said. ‘Like not meddling in your father’s love life?’
She shook her head.
‘No. Not that actually. This time we’re going to take things more slowly. We’ll let Dad and Linda meet tonight, just for a minute, just long enough for them to kind of wonder about each other, and then tomorrow we’ll get down to the serious stuff.’
I sighed.
‘So how are we going to get them to meet tonight?’
‘Duh. That’s easy. I just stay here until Dad calls me for tea.’
‘But he won’t come over here. He’ll phone you, like he always does.’
Alice smiled.
‘He can phone, but it won’t do him a whole lot of good.’
I didn’t bother asking what she meant by that – I knew I’d find out sooner or later.
After about twenty minutes, Alice’s phone rang. It played a really cool tune, and a whole row of lights began flashing up and down the side of the phone. For about the millionth time I wished that Mum and Dad would escape from the Dark Ages and let me have a phone.
Alice grinned at me, and picked up her phone.
‘It’s Dad. I’ll put him on speaker,’ she said, as she pressed a button.
‘Hello?’ she said.
‘Alice, it’s time for you to come home for tea.’
Peter’s voice was as clear as if he was standing next to us.
‘Hello?’ said Alice again, slightly louder this time.
Peter’s reply was louder too.
‘It’s Dad. I said it’s time to come home for tea.’
‘Hello?’ said Alice for the third time. ‘Who is this? You’ll have to speak up.’
‘I said – Come. Home. For. Tea.’ This time it sounded as if Peter was standing right next to me and shouting in my ear.
Alice grinned at me.
‘I’m sorry, whoever you are,’ she said. ‘You keep breaking up on me. Why don’t you try calling back later?’
‘Alice, if you don’t––’ began her dad, but Alice clicked off her phone.
‘Oops,’ she said. ‘He seems to have got cut off.’
Then she gave a big fake sigh.
‘Mobile phones these days. They’re so unreliable.’
I had to laugh, but I was thinking that I would never, ever be brave enough to do what Alice had just done. (Anyway, if Mum has her way, I’ll never get the chance, as I won’t ever have a phone.)
Three minutes later, Alice’s little brother Jamie was at the front door.
‘Dad says come home for tea,’ he said. ‘And if you ever again do that stupid trick of pretending not to hear him on the phone, he’s going to take it from you and keep it for six months.’
I giggled until Alice made me stop by glaring at me.
I was glad her dad hadn’t called over to pick her up, but not for long.
‘Don’t worry,’ Alice whispered as she left. ‘I have a plan B. See you after tea, and I’ll tell you all about it.’
Half an hour later she was back. She dragged me into the garage, and opened the fuse box.
‘Lucky this is the same as the one in my house,’ she said. ‘That makes things a bit easier.’
I was starting to feel scared.
‘What exactly are you doing? I don’t think Mum and Dad will be too happy if you blow up the house.’
She made a face at me.
‘I’m not totally stupid you know.’
Then she reached up and flicked a switch marked Lights.
‘All I’ve done is switch off the lights. Will Linda know how to fix them do you think?’
I shook my head.
‘Linda is totally useless at stuff like that. Mum always teases her that she has to call an electrician to change a plug.’
Alice gave a happy smile.
‘That’s what I hoped. So later on, when it gets dark, Dad will have to come and save the day. Linda will be so impressed that she’ll be dying to see him again tomorrow.’
I wasn’t so sure about that, but as Alice’s plans go, this one seemed harmless enough, so I said nothing and we went back into the house to wait for it to get dark.
Some time later, Linda, Rosie, Alice and I were lying on the floor in the family room watching our second hour of television. I was full from the yummy Chinese takeaway we’d had for tea, and the three bags of crisps and the litre bottle of lemonade that we’d finished between us.
Alice nudged me. I repeated the line she’d made me practise earlier.
‘It’s getting a bit dark, isn’t it?’
Linda ignored me. She was busy feeding Rosie even more crisps.
Five minutes later, Alice tried.
‘It’s getting a bit dark. Will I put the light on, Linda?’
This time Linda paid attention.
‘Sure. Thanks, Alice.’
Alice got up and made a big production of flicking the switch.
‘Doesn’t seem to be working,’ she said.
Now Linda sat up.
‘Probably just the bulb.’
Alice ran into the kitchen and loudly flicked the lights.
‘No, they’re all broken.’
Now Linda stood up.
‘Oh well,’ she said. ‘It’s too late to get the lights fixed tonight. It’ll be fun sitting here by candlelight. Where does your mum keep the candles, Megan?’
Alice poked me hard in the ribs.
‘Er, em, we don’t have any candles,’ I said. ‘Mum em… she…’
Alice dived in.
‘Megan’s mum thinks candles are a fire hazard. She doesn’t allow them in the house.’
Linda made a face.
‘That does sound like Sheila. But what will we do, Megan? I don’t fancy a whole night in the dark. Do you know the name of your electrician? Do you think he’d come out at night?’
Alice grinned at her.
‘You don’t need an electrician. I’ll get my dad. He’s brilliant at stuff like this.’
‘Are you sure?’ asked Linda. ‘I wouldn’t like to bother him.’
Alice nodded.
‘Sure I’m sure. He’s very kind-hearted. He’d love to help.’
Minutes later Peter was at the door. It took him about three seconds to figure out that the fuse switch had tripped. He flicked it back, and the house lit up instantly. Linda clapped her hands like Peter had just performed a magic trick.
Peter looked puzzled.
‘That really shouldn’t happen,’ he said. ‘But call me if the lights go out again.’
Linda smiled at him.
‘Thank you so, so much. I don’t know what we’d have done without you.’
‘Don’t mention it,’ he said.
Then he went back home, whistling as he went.
‘What a nice, helpful man,’ Linda said as she closed the front door.
Alice smiled as she whispered in my ear.
‘Did you hear that? She said he was nice. And did you hear Dad whistling? He only whistles when he’s really happy. I think they like each other. We’re halfway there. I’m looking forward to tomorrow already.’
I wanted to know what she had planned, but at the same time, I didn’t want to know. It didn’t matter anyway, as it didn’t look like she was going to tell me.
Alice went towards the door.
‘Time I went home,’ she said. ‘Get a good night’s sleep, Meg. You’re going to need it. Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day.’