Next Alice insisted that we go back to her dad’s house. I was starting to feel dizzy from being in so many places.
‘Can’t we just go to my house?’ I suggested.
‘We will,’ said Alice. ‘In a minute. I need to get some stuff first.’
‘What stuff?’ I asked.
But by now Alice was halfway up the stairs to her bedroom.
‘Just stuff,’ she said. ‘You’ll see.’
When we got to her room, Alice took out her hair-straightener, and a big bag of clips and hair slides. Then she opened all her drawers and pulled out every piece of make-up she’d ever owned, and spread it all out on her bed.
She gave a big sigh.
‘I haven’t got all that much. Don’t suppose you have anything stashed away?’
I shook my head.
‘No chance. You know what Mum’s like. She “doesn’t approve of make-up for twelve-year-olds.”’
Alice giggled, ‘Or for – what is she now – thirty-seven-year-olds?’
I had to laugh too. I don’t think my mum has ever even touched a lipstick, let alone owned one.
Then I stopped laughing.
‘Hey,’ I said. ‘What’s all this for anyway? Why are you suddenly so interested in wearing make-up? And it’s not like we’re going out anywhere – you’re spending the evening in my kitchen, remember?’
Alice shook her head.
‘The make-up’s not for me, Dork-head. I’m not the one going on a romantic date, am I?’
I laughed again as I picked up a sparkly eye shadow.
‘Hmmm,’ I said. ‘I think this shade would be perfect on your dad. Just right to bring out the blue in his eyes.’
‘Ha, ha,’ said Alice. ‘Very funny. Not. You know well that all this stuff is for Linda.’
I sighed.
‘Well, I suppose I know now,’ I said. ‘But Linda doesn’t need all that make-up. She’s pretty enough as she is.’
Alice started to gather up the stuff and put it into a giant make-up bag.
‘Careful, Meg,’ she said. ‘Don’t start sounding like your mother. Never forget, there’s no one so pretty she can’t be improved with some nice make-up.’
‘Now who’s sounding like her mother?’ I snapped.
Alice gave me a quick hug.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. Let’s just agree that neither of us is going to turn into our mothers. Ever. OK?’
I nodded. I didn’t want to fight with Alice. And besides, messing about with make-up would be fun – especially without Mum there looking over my shoulder and saying I was wasting my life.
There was still one problem thought.
‘What are we going to say to Linda?’ I asked. ‘We can’t say – “Hey, Linda, you’d better put on some make-up, just in case a handsome prince happens to drop by tonight?”’
Alice suddenly started to laugh so much she couldn’t talk. When she finally recovered, she said,
‘I don’t think you could exactly call my dad a handsome prince. Do you?’
Now I laughed too.
‘Maybe if we got him to wear a satin shirt ……’
‘…… and some white tights,’ added Alice.
‘…… and we could borrow a donkey from the donkey sanctuary and he could arrive on that …….’ I finished.
By now we were both laughing so much we had to lie on the bed and roll around for a while. It was nice.
Eventually Alice sat up.
‘Enough of that,’ she said. ‘Let’s go next door. We’ve got work to do.’
* * *
Linda was surprised when Alice and I suggested that we give her a makeover. She even sounded a little bit insulted.
‘Actually I’m quite happy with the way I look,’ she said.
Alice smiled her best smile.
‘You look fab,’ she said. ‘But we have to give someone a makeover, and there’s no-one else around.’
Linda looked a bit less cross.
‘But why do you have to give someone a makeover?’ she asked.
I looked desperately at Alice.
‘It’s a project,’ she said.
‘For Guides,’ I added. That sounded a bit stupid, but by the time I realised that, the words were already out of my mouth.
‘Hmmmm,’ said Linda. ‘Guides must have changed a lot since I was there. In my day it was mostly about lighting camp-fires and tying complicated knots and polishing shoes for old ladies.’
‘Oh, Guides is very different nowadays,’ said Alice. ‘We do all kinds of interesting stuff. Last week we went white-water rafting.’
I kicked Alice to quieten her. Did that girl never know when to stop?
Linda looked like she didn’t believe Alice, but she didn’t say so.
‘Well,’ she said. ‘If you’re going to do my make-up I suppose we’d better get on with it. I’m getting even older and wrinklier while we’re standing here talking about it.’
Alice did most of the work. I didn’t mind, because I didn’t have much of an idea what to do anyway. Mostly I just held brushes, and ran and got damp cotton wool whenever something went wrong. (Which seemed to happen an awful lot.)
After a while, Rosie came in from the garden. She’d never seen anyone putting on make-up before, so she just sat quietly, and watched with her mouth open.
After ages Alice was finished the make-up.
Linda was impatient.
‘Can I see?’ she asked.
‘We’re not finished yet,’ said Alice. ‘What about straightening your hair?’
Linda shook her head.
‘Thanks, but no thanks,’ she said. ‘I actually like my curls, and I’m not having them straightened. Not even for the sake of your Guide project.’
I interrupted her.
‘Forget it, Al,’ I said. ‘Leave Linda’s hair alone. It’s really lovely already.’
‘OK. OK,’ muttered Alice. ‘I was only trying to help. I suppose you’re ready so.’
She stood back and admired Linda’s face.
‘What do you think?’ she said to me.
I didn’t really know what to think. Linda looked different, but I’m not sure she looked better. She just didn’t look like herself any more.
Alice handed Linda a mirror. She looked at herself for ages, but she didn’t say anything. Then Rosie ran over and hugged her.
‘Pretty Linda,’ she said.
Linda laughed.
‘I suppose that settles it,’ she said. ‘Thanks girls.’
Linda put down the mirror.
‘Since you’ve done such a good job, it seems a pity to be staying in tonight. Why don’t we all go out for something to eat? You can come too, Alice, if you like.’
Now what were we supposed to do?
‘But …’ I said.
‘But …’ said Alice.
‘Well?’ said Linda.
‘But we’re cooking dinner here tonight,’ I said.
‘And we’ve already bought the food,’ added Alice.
Linda sighed.
‘That doesn’t matter. You can save that food and have a surprise dinner ready tomorrow night when your parents get home.’
I gulped. Mum would get a surprise if she came home and saw that there was ready-made lasagne for dinner. And it wouldn’t be a pleasant surprise either. She’d go totally crazy, and go on about the dangers of ready-made foods for weeks. It just wouldn’t be worth it.
And besides, what about Linda and Peter’s romantic date?
I looked at Alice in a panic. She just smiled sweetly.
‘Thanks, Linda,’ she said. ‘But you’ve been so kind to us, taking us into town, and buying us those lovely t-shirts. We want to repay you by cooking a lovely meal for you.’
Now I started to feel really guilty. Alice was right – Linda had been really kind to us, and instead of being grateful we were tricking her into a romatic date. Before I could think of anything to say, Linda shook her head.
‘Girls these days,’ she said. ‘I’d have thought you’d be glad of a night out. But suit yourselves. We’ll eat here if that’s what you want.’
Alice looked at me.
‘That’s exactly what we want,’ she said. ‘Now we’ll go away and leave you alone, so you can rest.’
Now Linda looked really puzzled.
‘Why on earth would I want to rest?’
Alice laughed a forced kind of laugh.
‘What I meant is that you should relax for a while. To let your make-up set.’
Linda looked at Alice like she thought she was crazy, but she only said,
‘Come on Rosie. Let’s go watch some more TV. We’ve only watched three hours so far today.’
‘Yippee, more telly!’ shouted Rosie, and raced into the TV room.
I’m only twelve, but at that moment I felt very old. Life is much simpler when you are only four.