When Rosie was clean and dry again, she didn’t want to go back to bed.
‘No,’ she said, stamping her little bare foot and sounding a lot like Alice. ‘I’m going back downstairs to sit on Linda’s knee!’
I sighed. It probably didn’t matter. The night was ruined anyway. So I let Rosie run down to Linda, and I went to help Alice with the washing-up.
Much later, when the kitchen was finally clean, Alice stood back and looked at me.
‘What do you think?’ she said.
‘About what?’ I asked. (Like I didn’t know what she was talking about.)
‘About the night? Do you think it was a success?’
I shrugged.
‘Well, we didn’t burn the house down, which is always a good thing.’
Alice stamped her foot.
‘Be serious, Megan. What do you think about the romantic date? Do you think it worked? Do you think Dad will tell Mum that he’s met someone else? Do you think Mum will get jealous?’
I sighed. As far as I could tell, the whole thing had been a complete disaster, almost as bad as the trip to Fota Island with Miss O’Herlihy had been. I didn’t want to disappoint Alice though.
‘It’s hard to tell with adults,’ I said. ‘Linda and your dad seemed to get on OK … sort of … I suppose.’
Alice put down the tea towel she had been fiddling with.
‘Oh, forget it, Meg,’ she said. ‘Thanks for trying to protect me, but I know it was a total mess. Dad and Linda are probably in there wondering how on earth they can escape without hurting the other person’s feelings. I think I’ll just go in there and put them out of their misery. I’ll tell Dad I want him to bring me home.’
She opened the door into the dining room, half-stepped in, and then stepped back out again.
‘Look,’ she whispered.
I leaned around her and looked into the room. Linda and Peter had moved to the sofa, and were sitting with their backs to us. From the way they were sitting, it looked like they were already best buddies.
Linda said something I couldn’t quite catch, and Peter laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard in his whole life. After a minute he wiped his eyes and said,
‘You know, Linda, this has been such a great evening. Since Veronica and I … I mean since … well … since my marriage broke up, I haven’t gone out very much. I suppose I’ve just been sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. I should make more of an effort.’
‘Well,’ replied Linda. ‘I’m glad you made the effort tonight. I’m so glad you just took the notion to drop over this evening.’
I gulped. So this was it. This was the moment when Linda and Peter finally understood what had happened. There was a long silence during which I could hear my heart beating really fast. Then Peter spoke. His voice was puzzled.
‘But …’ he began.
Linda interrupted him. ‘And it’s so lucky you hadn’t eaten before you got here.’
Alice and I made faces at each other as we backed in further behind the kitchen door. This was the moment I had been dreading ever since Alice told me about her stupid plan.
Now Peter sounded really puzzled.
‘But why would I have eaten, when you …’
He stopped speaking and scratched his head.
‘When I what?’ asked Linda.
‘Forget it,’ said Peter. ‘It’s nothing. We had a very nice evening, so why don’t we leave it at that?’
I was just breathing a lovely, long, happy sigh of relief when Linda spoke again.
‘No really, Peter. I’d like to know. What were you going to say?’
I held my breath again, and then Peter answered.
‘What I’m trying to say is, why would I have eaten before coming over here, since you already had invited me for dinner?’
There was a long, long silence. My heart was beating harder and faster than ever. I wondered if it had ever happened that someone’s heart beat so hard that it jumped right out of their chest and rolled around on the floor in front of them.
Then Peter spoke again.
‘I’m sorry, Linda,’ he said. ‘But you did plan this evening? You did send the girls over to invite me for dinner this morning, didn’t you?’
Now Linda sat up straight.
‘Er, well, not exactly. You see Megan and Alice said…’
Now Peter jumped up from his seat.
‘Megan. And Alice. Those two girls. I should have known there was something fishy going on. What on earth are they up to this time?’
By now Alice and I were out of sight, squashed right in behind the door. Peter sounded really cross, and there was no way I was going out there to face him.
Now Peter really raised his voice.
‘I am going to sort Alice out for once and for all. This time she’s gone too far. She really has. Alice, come out here right now.’
I looked at Alice. She shook her head. ‘I’m not going out there,’ she whispered. ‘He’ll kill me.’
So what exactly was she planning to do? Stay hidden behind my kitchen door for the rest of her life?
Suddenly Linda started to laugh.
Peter sounded kind of irritated.
‘What’s so funny?’
Linda was really laughing now. ‘You’ve got to hand it to those girls. They really are very inventive. They rightly set us up. Inviting you over for dinner, without telling me, and cooking all that er, interesting food.’
Peter gave a small laugh.
‘But what were they thinking of? Why on earth did they go to all this trouble?’
‘I haven’t the faintest idea,’ said Linda. ‘And I don’t really care either. It’s exactly like the kind of thing I would have loved to do when I was a little girl. Except I was always too scared.’
Peter sighed.
‘I was a timid little boy myself,’ he said.
Linda laughed again.
‘Anyway, don’t you agree that the whole thing was a bit of fun? And we had a good time – much better than sitting watching TV for the evening.’
Peter still wasn’t happy.
‘But why?’ he asked again. ‘What was this whole thing supposed to be about?’
‘Oh, you know girls,’ replied Linda.
Peter sounded sad.
‘That’s the problem, I suppose. I don’t really know much about girls at all.’
Linda laughed again.
‘Well, pour us another glass of champagne, and I’ll let you into a few secrets.’
There was the clink of glasses, and then Peter and Linda’s voices got so low we couldn’t make out anything more.
A few minutes later, Al and I peeped around the door again. Peter and Linda were still sitting side by side on the sofa. As we watched, Peter leaned over, until his face was right next to Linda’s.
Alice covered her eyes.
‘He’s going to kiss her,’ she gasped.
‘But that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?’ I said.
‘Yes. I mean no. I mean I don’t know.’
Just then Rosie popped her head over the couch.
‘Hi Meg. Hi Alice,’ she said. ‘Guess what? I need to do another wee.’
If there ever was going to be a kiss, that put a quick end to it. Peter leaped away from the couch like it was on fire, and Linda grabbed Rosie and took her upstairs.
When Linda got back, with Rosie in her arms, Peter stood up.
‘I think it’s about time I went home,’ he said. ‘Thank you so much for a wonderful evening. Come on, Alice. Let’s go home, and you and I can discuss the lovely invitation to dinner that you gave me this morning.’
Alice made a face at me, and followed him out the door.
I went to the front door and watched as Alice and her dad made their way home.
Poor Alice – she was so mixed up lately.