Neve recoiled from Kit, but he held her face firm in his hands. She grabbed them with her own, pulling them from her face, trying to twist away from him. ‘No. No. I didn’t,’ she could hear herself saying over and over again.
Kit held her hands. ‘Neve. Neve – listen to me,’ he said with an authority that penetrated her panic-stricken thoughts. ‘You need to listen very carefully. I know it’s hard to take in but please, just calm down so I can explain.’
He guided her over to the bar stool and made her perch on the edge.
‘I don’t understand,’ said Neve, replaying her version of events over in her mind. She couldn’t find the moment Kit was talking about. How could she not remember something like that? She attacked Jake? No, it didn’t make sense.
‘Right, listen very carefully,’ said Kit, tipping her chin towards him. ‘I was jealous of Jake, as you know, I thought there was something going on between you two. I got a little paranoid and, I know it’s not a nice thing to do, but I accessed your phone and put the app “find my phone” on. That way, I could always monitor where you were.’
‘You did what? You spied on me?’
‘I had to know, I just had to.’
‘A bit like you had to know about Megan and you had to know about Jasmine,’ said Neve, mortified at the lengths he was prepared to go to.
‘Look, it’s not really important in the scheme of things. That night, I thought you were at Lucie’s and when I happened to look at the phone, I could see you were down by the harbour. I drove down there. You and Jake were standing by his car. You were arguing. I don’t know what about because as soon as I pulled up, you both stopped.’
Neve shook her head. ‘No. It wasn’t like that. I went up the hill. I saw a car. It must have been yours. I wasn’t by Jake’s car. I wasn’t there when you pulled up.’
‘Shhh, hush now. Let me finish,’ said Kit. ‘I was furious, I’ll admit that. All I wanted was to smash his face in, I really did. But I didn’t. I made you go and sit in my car. You weren’t happy, but you did what I said. I confronted Jake. Told him to leave you alone and all that stuff. Yes, I shoved him, but it was just a bit of pushing, you know, handbags at dawn. Do you remember any of this?’
Neve shuffled the thoughts around in her head but still couldn’t line them up. ‘No. I don’t remember a thing.’ She felt sick. How could she not remember what happened?
Kit rubbed the tops of her arms with his hands. ‘Next thing, you’re out of the car, putting on my overshirt. I saw you from the corner of my eye, coming from the boot of the car …’ he hesitated.
‘Go on,’ said Neve, her heart thumping fast.
‘I didn’t see it until it was too late … you had the mallet in your hand. You must have got it from the tool kit.’
‘I had the mallet? No, it can’t true. You must be wrong, Kit. Why would I do that?’ Neve allowed the panic to take hold, she wanted to run away from Kit. She wanted to block her ears to what he was saying.
‘Before I knew it you had whacked Jake on the side of the head.’ He spoke in a soft voice, but the usual calming quality had no effect.
‘I didn’t!’ shouted Neve. She pulled away from Kit but had nowhere to go, so pounded him with her fists. ‘It’s not true. You’ve got it wrong.’ The rest of her words were lost in his jumper as he pulled her towards him and held her tight.
‘I’m sorry, Neve. I didn’t want to have to tell you,’ said Kit. ‘I know you don’t want to believe it, but it all fits in now, can’t you see? You must have been having one of those disassociation episodes the doctor mentioned. There’s something that trips in your head when you’re under duress, it causes some sort of short circuit, you get a blank in your memory.’
‘No, oh please no,’ said Neve through her tears.
‘I’m sorry. I wish I was wrong but that’s what must have happened when you hit Jake. You must have been blanking out.’
Neve could barely bring herself to ask, but she had to know. ‘What happened after that?’
‘He went down straight away and almost simultaneously, I pulled you away. You had blood spatters all over my shirt. I bundled you into the car, took the overshirt off and told you to go to Lucie’s. I told you not to say anything to Lucie about what had happened and that I would deal with it.’
‘I honestly don’t remember.’ Neve sniffed and wiped her eyes.
‘I made an anonymous call from the phone box,’ explained Kit. ‘I didn’t want either of us incriminated in any way. It was bad enough as it was with Pearson asking questions about you and Jake. If we were there, then he would be bound to suspect us.’
‘You did all that to stop me from being arrested?’
‘Yes. I love you, Neve. I nearly lost you once, I wasn’t going to lose you again. Not after everything that we had gone through.’
Neve clung to his first words. ‘You love me?’ He nodded. ‘You still love me after what I did?’ He nodded again. ‘After what I did to you and Poppy and what I did to Jake?’
‘It’s the things you’ve done that I don’t love, but you as a person I love very deeply. I don’t want to be without you. I’m prepared to forgive you. People do bad things, but it doesn’t mean they are fundamentally a bad person.’
‘I’m so messed up,’ said Neve. ‘I’ve no idea why you still love me.’
‘Were. Were messed up. I don’t think you are now. You’ve won half the battle by acknowledging your actions. You just need professional help to win the rest of the war.’
‘Oh, Kit. I don’t know what to think. I still can’t believe I’d do that to another human being.’ And she couldn’t but she also knew Kit’s theory wasn’t as far off the mark as it might seem. She had seen herself as Megan before, but she had always been aware of it. Always known what she was doing so why was it different this time? Was it because what she’d done was so awful, her mind wasn’t allowing herself to even acknowledge it through Megan? Or was there another, more frightening truth? Was Kit lying to her to cover his own actions?
Despite her fears, she allowed Kit to hold her once more and somehow, it felt safe. It felt right. Whatever life had thrown at them, and indeed whatever, Neve herself had thrown at them, it seemed they were destined to stay together. If Kit really meant he could forgive her, she could still have a chance at happiness. If it meant seeing a counsellor, then so be it. At the end of the day she was going to have a family of her own, just what she had always wanted.
Even so, as much as she tried to focus on the good that was to come out of it all, the little nagging doubt of what really happened at the harbour was still there, prodding her thoughts, not staying in the box but slithering out and winding itself around her, hissing poisonous words in her ear.
‘We need to get a few things straight for when the police talk to us again,’ said Kit, pulling away from Neve. ‘Pearson thinks he knows what’s happened, he’s just trying to prove it. We mustn’t give him anything that will help him.’
‘How are we going to do that?’
‘You’ve got to stick to the story you told him already. Forget everything I just told you. Do you think you can do that?’
‘Well, yes. I don’t remember what happened, which is probably a good thing. I can only tell him what I remember and that is hiding behind a tree and then going back to Lucie’s flat.’
‘That’s good. Keep to the story,’ said Kit. ‘Now, what I suggest we do, is you stay here and I’ll go over to get Poppy from Mum’s. We’ve got to carry on as normal. And the sooner we get back into some sort of routine the better.’
As soon as Kit left to fetch Poppy, Neve rushed up to the shower. She felt dirty from the inside out. She still couldn’t take in what Kit had told her. It couldn’t be true. She couldn’t have killed Jake, she just couldn’t. And if it wasn’t her, then it could be only one other person. Could she live with this knowledge? With this man? More to the point, could she let a man like this father a child? Neve slumped to the bottom of the shower, hugging her knees tightly, her tears being flushed from her face by the pounding shower.
The next morning, the Masters’ household was awoken by banging on the door and the insistent ringing of the bell.
‘Who on earth is that?’ mumbled Neve, rolling over and swinging her feet onto the floor. As she did so, her conversation with Kit last night, came flooding back, accompanied by a deep sense of sadness and disbelief.
‘I’ll give you two guesses,’ said Kit, looking out through the vertical blinds. ‘I’ll go. You take your time.’
‘Is it Pearson?’
‘Two guesses were obviously generous.’
‘What does he want?’ Fear engulfed her. Was Pearson going to arrest her for murdering Jake? Had he worked it out somehow?
Kit pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. ‘I’ll go see what he wants. You come down when you’re ready.’
‘Someone is at the door,’ said Poppy, appearing in the bedroom doorway.
‘Don’t worry, it’s just the policeman,’ said Kit. ‘You stay up here out of the way.’
‘But I’m hungry. I want breakfast.’
‘If you wait until the policeman’s gone, I’ll make you some breakfast,’ said Kit, squeezing past his daughter.
‘I’ll bring you up some toast and jam,’ said Neve, going through to the en suite to use the toilet and brush her teeth. She left the door slightly ajar, so she could hear Poppy’s response.
‘But I don’t have breakfast in my room. I have it at the breakfast bar.’
‘Just this once, as a special treat, you can have it in bed, watching TV,’ Neve called back, aware she lacked her usual amount of patience today. She flushed the toilet and washed her hands. ‘It’s best if you let me and Dad speak to the policeman alone.’
‘Why?’
‘Because sometimes adults need to talk to each other about adult things that aren’t appropriate for children to hear.’
‘I’m not a child.’
‘Technically you are. You’re under eighteen.’ Neve squirted toothpaste onto her brush. ‘Please, Poppy, just wait in your room.’
‘I’m a young adult. That’s what my teacher says.’
‘Not a full-grown adult so my argument still stands.’ Neve didn’t hear Poppy’s answer, but when she walked past her room on the way downstairs, she could see Poppy sitting on her bed, watching the TV.
‘Ah, Neve, good morning,’ said Pearson, as Neve entered the living room.
‘Morning,’ said Neve. ‘This is an early and unexpected visit.’
‘Yes, I was just explaining to Kit that there has been a development overnight.’
Neve exchanged a look with her husband. ‘We were carrying out a more thorough inspection of Jake Rees’s studio and we discovered this in the drawer of his desk.’ He held out a plastic bag containing a photograph.
Neve gave a small gasp. ‘It’s Poppy,’ she said, stating the obvious. She looked up at the DCI. ‘I don’t understand.’
Her mind was flying in all directions. What was a photograph of Poppy doing in Jake’s desk? Had she left it there? Somehow taken it with her by accident, caught up in her artwork, her brushes? Had it dropped out at the studio?
‘You didn’t give it to Jake at any point, did you?’ asked Pearson.
‘No. I was just trying to think how it could possibly have got there.’ She looked at Kit. ‘I didn’t take it there.’
‘No, I’m sure you didn’t,’ said Kit.
‘Let me see it again,’ said Neve. She inspected the photograph closer and then rushed over to the bookshelf. Kneeling down, she took out a photo album and after flicking through several pages, stood up, holding the album open. ‘It’s from here,’ she said, showing the blank space on the page where the photograph had been. ‘He must have taken it from here.’
‘Had Jake ever been to the house?’ asked Pearson.
Neve closed the book, thinking hard. ‘He came one day a few weeks ago to drop some paints off that I’d ordered.’
‘Was he left alone at any time?’
‘No. We were in the kitchen.’
‘Before that – had he been before that?’
‘He was here about two months ago,’ said Kit, stepping forwards and taking the album from Neve. ‘He called round when Neve wasn’t here. I invited him in. He made some lame excuse about wanting to speak to Neve about an exhibition. The bastard must have taken it then when I went to make him a drink.’
Neve was pretty sure Kit had never mentioned Jake’s visit before. And she was also certain Jake hadn’t either. She went to say as much, but the look she caught from Kit stopped her.
‘We also found this,’ said Pearson. This time he held out another evidence bag with a scrap of paper inside. ‘It’s an address. We’re checking it out now as I speak but we think it may be the address that Poppy was held at until she was moved to Halnaker windmill.’
Neve read the address. Her stomach flip-flopped. It was the house where Lee had taken Poppy.
‘Does that address mean anything to either of you?’
‘No, not at all,’ said Kit, reading it over Neve’s shoulder. ‘Neve?’
‘What? Oh … no, I don’t know where that is either.’
‘And the writing. Do you recognise the writing?’ Pearson looked intently at each of them.
‘Nope. Sorry,’ said Kit.
‘It’s got a distinctive number seven, with the line across the upright. Like they do in Europe,’ pointed out Pearson. ‘And the number one, that’s not how we write the number here. It’s got a longer lead stroke.’
Neve could feel sweat prick her top lip, her whole body was heating up, like it was about to self-combust. She recognised that writing. It was Lee’s – he’d written like that for as long as she could remember. It was a typical Lee gesture, something to do differently to everyone else. She couldn’t understand what it was doing in Jake’s desk along with a photograph of Poppy.
‘Are you OK, Neve?’ asked Pearson.
‘Yes, I’ll be fine,’ said Neve. ‘Just finding this all so strange.’
‘We have a theory about the author of the note,’ said Pearson.
‘Which is …?’ asked Kit.
‘That they supplied Jake with somewhere to keep Poppy.’
‘You believe Jake was behind it?’ said Kit.
‘It’s a line of enquiry …’
‘Don’t give me that bullshit, this is my daughter you’re talking about,’ said Kit. ‘Was Jake responsible for her kidnap? Tell me straight.’
‘As I said, it’s something we’re working on, but we think, given the evidence, it’s highly likely.’ Pearson put the plastic bag back inside his pocket. ‘We just can’t settle on a motive.’
‘I told you,’ said Kit. ‘He wanted to win brownie points with Neve. He thought if he could be the conquering hero who found Poppy, then Neve would drop everything to be with him. Either that or … well, I don’t like to think of the alternative reason.’
‘Quite,’ agreed the inspector.
‘I hope this means that my wife is no longer under suspicion,’ said Kit.
The DCI pursed his lips. ‘We haven’t ruled anything out just yet.’ He looked at Neve and gave a small nod of the head. ‘I’m sure you can appreciate that.’
‘It’s bloody ridiculous,’ said Kit.
‘If it turns out the address was connected with Poppy’s disappearance, we would like to speak to her again. With a trained member of staff, of course.’
‘I’d sooner you didn’t,’ said Kit. ‘She’s been through enough and, touch wood, she seems to have come out of it relatively unscathed. I don’t want any questioning to kick it all off.’
‘No, I understand, but it will be trained staff, like before. It would really help us build a case.’
‘What’s the point though, if Jake is dead?’ said Kit.
‘We still have to be just as thorough, especially as he’s no longer here to defend himself.’
‘And what’s happening on that front? Catching the person who did that?’ said Kit.
Neve wished Kit wouldn’t ask so many questions. She was sure he was getting under the inspector’s skin.
Before Pearson could answer, they were interrupted by his mobile ringing. He apologised and took the call. Neve sat down on the sofa. She was still trying to work out what really had happened. None of it was making any sense.
‘Sorry about that,’ said Pearson as he ended his call. ‘That was my colleague down at the address we found. Turns out it’s an empty house on the edge of town. Been used as a squat in the past but not recently. The owner is in an old people’s home. It looks like there’s been someone camping out there. They found a hair bobble. Blue and white with a ‘P’ badge on it.’
‘Poppy,’ gasped Neve. ‘Poppy has a hair band like that.’ Although she was certain Poppy hadn’t been wearing her hair tied up that evening on the boat.
‘And was she wearing that the night she disappeared?’
‘I don’t think so,’ said Kit. ‘But that’s not to say she didn’t have it in her pocket or anything.’ He ran his hand through his hair. ‘Christ, she was just across town. So close and yet we had no idea.’
‘Unfortunately, there’s no CCTV in the area but we’re making door-to-door enquiries just in case someone saw something’ said Pearson.
Neve felt her head tip to one side as the room tilted. She reached out and grabbed the arm of the sofa.
‘Neve? You OK?’ asked Kit, sitting next to her and putting an arm around her.
‘Sorry, just don’t feel too well.’
‘Can we leave it there for this morning?’ said Kit, looking up at the police inspector.
‘Of course. That was all I needed to let you know,’ he said. ‘We’ll keep you informed of any updates. In light of all this, I don’t need you to come down to the station today.’
Kit saw the DCI out and then came back into the living room.
‘I don’t understand,’ said Neve. ‘The picture and the address. What was Jake doing with them?’ She paused as she looked at her husband. He had an expression on his face that she couldn’t quite place. It was one of … pride? Maybe that was too strong a definition, but she knew him well enough to know that he was pleased about something. ‘Tell me?’
He came over to her and put his arms around her. ‘You don’t need to know. Just trust me on this. The police aren’t going to be looking at you anymore in connection with Poppy’s disappearance.’
Slowly, it began to dawn on Neve. ‘You …’ she began but Kit put his finger to her lips and shook his head.
‘We have to trust each other now, Neve. It’s us against them. If we want to keep all that we’ve worked so hard for, fought so much for and to have what we want in the future, then we have to stick together. Do you understand what I’m saying?’
The enormity of what Kit had done to keep her from being charged with kidnap and murder, wasn’t lost on her. It only served to prove how committed Kit was to making a success of their marriage. ‘I understand, totally,’ she said. ‘But there is one thing, what about Lee?’
‘No need to worry about Lee,’ said Kit. ‘He won’t be bothering us again.’
Kit silenced any further questions she had with a kiss. ‘We can concentrate on each other, on our family and hopefully our future family.’
As Neve nestled into Kit’s arms, she forced herself to think of a life ahead of them where they had their own child, and it made her heart sing. She was going to have the family she so desired. But there was a definite off-beat in that song. A dark undertone which she would have to learn to live with and ignore like she had all the other dark things in her life. She knew it was the price she had to pay for what she wanted. But the trade-off was worth it, or at least it would be. She could and would learn to live with the knowledge that one of them in the marriage was a murderer, she just didn’t know which of them it was.