He has his hands around my throat, reaching down my breast trying to grab the money. Coughing, struggling, gagging and drowning in my spit. I am struggling to scream, I scratched at his hands and he whispers,
"Shut up bitch and give me the cash."
I kick him and bite down on his hand, kick him in the nuts. He releases me and grabs his dick, bends over and moans. I make a run for it and I look behind me and he has caught up to me. I feel his hand on my hoodie, the neck of it tightening around my throat. I am going to die and I try to scream but I can't.
"Help me." I manage to get out one syllable at a time.
My voice is hoarse, I slipped on the mud and his heavy body lands on top of me and I cry. I look up and see a shadow of huge body. Brick lifts him off me and picks him up by his throat. He punches him in the stomach and slams him on the concrete.
"Foolish move fucking with my lady and my loot." He punches him in the ribs and then stomps on his chest. Blood cover his thick mustache and Brick searches through his pockets and punches him again. He takes the envelope from him.His chest is heaving in and out, he cuts his eye at me and frowns.
I lift up, my hair disheveled, Brick assist me with getting up and brushes off my clothes. He takes a towel from his bag and wipes the mud off my hands and face. He frowns and slings the towel at me.
"I don't appreciate you leaving your fucking drugs on the seat. Border Patrol could have bought the dogs on the bus and my ass could have been arrested for some drugs that wasn't mine.You did a dumb ass move and then to go with a complete stranger to cop some more means you wrote a check for a death wish."
He picks up his duffel bag and slings it on his shoulder.
"Just because you save my life doesn't mean you get to talk to me any kind of way. You don't know me, Brick."
"I'm right though you went with old boy to get some drugs?" He raised his eyebrow and stood so close I could hear his heartbeat. I could feel the steam from his body heat and smell his breath.
I look away from him and pick up my bag. He stops me and puts his hand on my chin.
He asks again,
"Did you go with dude to buy drugs?"
"Yes and now will you leave me alone. " I huff. He wasn't going to let this rest. He acts as if he is my man. Why would he even care?
"Fine, I'll leave you the hell alone but you giving me all this attitude you could at least say, thank you with your rude ass."
He stormed off and left me as I walked to the bathroom to clean off and change my clothes. I look in the mirror throat is sore and red. My legs are throbbing. My throat hurts and I notice a long scratch on my chest. I change my clothes count the money and take out a thousand dollars. I put it in the envelope and write thank you. I stuff the envelope in my panties and walk out. Brick is standing at Gate 21 and I walk up to him and put the envelope in his hand. I stand behind him and he looks at the words and then looks inside. The woman looks at our tickets and punches it. I walk on and he is sitting by the window. The bus is crowded, and only one seat that is available is next to him. An older woman with long silver braids is chatting with the man sitting next to me. She smiles and I greet her with a wave. The bus is full of people,voices talking, while others are sleeping, several scrolling through their cell phones now that the bus is equipped with Wi-fi.
"Thank you is enough. Keep your green it isn't about money and courtesy goes a long way." He hands me the envelope and puts on his headphones.
The entire hour and a half he doesn't look my way or talk to me. The Night sky is lit up with a thousand stars, the moon is full and majority of the people are sleeping on the bus. My cell phone is ringing and my sister Unique name flashes across the screen. I press the ignore button and then a text comes in and then it rings. Brick is sound asleep and I know she is worry about me. I answer the third time.
"Hey sister!"
"Don't hey sister me. Where are you? The media has your face and the councilman all over the newspaper. You caused major damage and you are in serious trouble."
"In trouble for telling the truth."
"Janae, this man life is in ruins and now these strange men came here looking for you. Mommy and Daddy are worried."
"He ruin my life and now the truth about our affair is out. Those emails, those letters and the video show the truth. I assure you Lydia and Joshua aren't worried about me. They don't care if I live or die." I heard her sigh.
"Where are you?"
"Away and safe. Buffalo, Mom, Robert Walters, Dr.Walters and the whole city are glad to see me gone. I didn't come after him he pretended to love me, to take me as his wife. He lied to me.”
"I just can't believe you two had an affair. How come you never told me?"
"You wouldn't believe me because a man that fine wouldn't want to fuck a big girl but more than anything me."
"I didn't mean it that way, Janae."
"You did and now they know a fine, rich men with money and power will sleep with fat girls."
"You think everybody hates you and that is not true. The problem is you don't love you and until you see that you won't have love surrounding you. There is love here in Buffalo. I love you and I have never judged you at all. I don't care what no one said or feels about you. I am here."
"You told me along time ago that I tried to hard to make people like and accept me. I've done that all my life forcing myself on people to see me any cost. After a while it becomes clear to see it for what it is. I accept that I look better gone.."
"Janae, I should have never told you what they said. It's like I kill something in you. You are not alone in this world."
"You told me the truth and as much as it hurts I have to get over it."
"By running?"
"Part of it but moving on and stop staying where I am not wanted. I need to find my place in this world. A place where I fit in. I love you, sis." I hear her sniffle and my mother's voice in the background.
"I love you more and sister promise you will stay safe."
"Sister promise I will stay safe."
Brick eyes were wide open and there was no music blaring out of his headphones. He was staring at the stars and the moon. He finally spoke,
"Are you okay?" He looked over at me and I turn away so he won't see my face.
"I'm okay. Thank you for saving me."
He nodded his head and gave a slight smile.
"It's all good and your sister is right you are not alone in this world."
"Brick, what gives you the right to listen to my conversation?" I scuff and roll my eyes at him.
"You did talking all loud and I'm right next to you."
"Whatever."
"Yeah, whatever. You turn your bitchiness on and off in thirty seconds or less."
"Who are you calling a Bitch?" He chuckled and I stared him down and fire came from my nose.
"I didn't call you a Bitch. I call your attitude a bitch. " He looked me straight in the eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and his baseball cap twisted backwards.
"You better watch your mouth. I don't care how big you are.
"I'll watch my mouth when you watch your attitude.You coming for me with disrespect and on some real shit you better thank your God I'm not the ....never mind.”
I turn away and fold my arms. The cut on my arm from yesterday has formed a scab like the one on my heart.
"My attitude shouldn't bother you."
"It does and you give off bad energy and on some real shit I don't need to feed off it."
Another person telling me I give off bad energy. I heard the same words all my life since I could understand the English language. I could feel the tears on my cheek and the woman with the two long silver braids with large beads on the end of them, she had on a flower printed dress, her teeth sparkled when she smiled.
"Here you go baby and wipe those tears. You too pretty to be crying." She handed me the tissue and I wipe my eyes. Brick looked over at me and I cover my face.
"Thank you, Ma'am."
"You welcome, baby."I admired her blue ring and the wooden jewels around her neck."
"I love your jewelry."
"Thank you my daughter gave it to me for Christmas. She know I don't like shiny things. I like beads, crystals and things from the Mother Earth. I don't fancy things like gold and diamonds most of them have our people blood on it anyway. By the way my name is Ginger Pearl." I extend my hand and shake her hand.
"I'm Janae."
"I know. I overheard your boyfriend calling your name at the depot in Cleveland." I roll my eyes and announce,
"Ms. Pearl he is not my boyfriend."
"He will be and besides you two act like a couple " She smiles and waves at Brick.
"Why are you traveling on the bus?"
"I hate planes and I like to see more than the sky and clouds when I travel.I like meeting different folks and talking."
"So do you mind if I ask how far you are traveling?"
"California, It where I'm from."
"I'm going out there to start a new life."
"What part you from?"
"Buffalo."
"And you sir with the big red headphones. Where you from?
Brick looks over and answers,
"I'm from Syracuse going to California too."
"What your name, son?"
"My name is Jensen but people mostly called me Brick."
"I like that name Jensen knew a boy in California who became a famous model and actor. He did a movie with Halle Berry and a couple of Tv shows. He comes to my restaurant all the time."
"So Jensen why you coming to California?"
"To meet my murderer."
"Your murderer?" She raised her eyebrow and scratched her head.
"Yes and it is a long story."
He put back on his headphones and the track toy soldiers by Eminem blared through.
The rain was pouring and mostly everyone was sleep except me and Brick. My cell phone buzzed as several texts came in and the one that stops my breath short is Robert's wife sent to me seven hours ago.
You took my life and you expect to get away with it. You're as good as dead if you ever step foot back into Buffalo. Stay gone, Bitch.
A woman of distinction and class wanted to kill me over what was dead and stinking along time ago. I wasn't the first woman Robert had cheated with but I was the one she knew. I was the one who she befriended and took into her inner circle. I never knew in the beginning Robert was her husband. She spoke briefly about her personal life with me. There was no pictures of her husband around her office and home. It was almost as if there marriage was a secret.
I read the articles in the Buffalo News and the headlines read,
Robert Walters and his obsession with big girls. Three other women are plastered on the front cover have come forward. I want to cry because I thought for a moment I was the only one but how foolish of me to think this. I log on to my Facebook and I read down my newsfeed. It is the hot topic with jokes about Robert loving Fat girls. Jokes ripping me to shreds. Comments saying he could do better. I log off and wipe my face. Brick is staring at me and then at my phone.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes" I snap.
"Word on my life this is your last warning you better watch your tone with me. I am not your enemy. As a matter of fact I don't even know you. I see the shit in the paper and I don't know what’s up but you need at least one friend in this fucked up world."
"I don't need anybody and why do you care?"
"I know what it is like to be an outsider looking in. I live like that all my life."
He looked away and stare over at Ms. Pearl.
"So what is the name of your restaurant?"
"It is a soul food restaurant I call Ginger Pearl's shack and sleep. I own a rooming house above it."
"That's nice."
She dug in her purse and pulled out a brown paper bag with aluminum foil . The aroma of chicken smell up the whole bus, people turned their heads and licked their lips.
"Take a piece of my buttermilk fried chicken. I have biscuits too."
"No, thank you." He raised his hand.
"Jensen, gone on boy and take a piece. I made way too much."
She put two pieces of chicken and two biscuits on a napkin.
"Hand a piece to your girlfriend, Janae." He handed me a piece and a biscuit.
"Ms. Pearl no disrespect but she is not my girl. My girl would have matters and speak to me with respect."
Ms. Pearl shook her head and looked over at Janae.
"I know what I see and you two are going to be together. You two have a connection.God brought you two together for a reason."
"He is not my type he has dog written all over him like the rest of the men I know. "
"Maybe the reason you going through what you going through is the way you treat people. You attract dogs maybe you need to check to see if you're the flea jumping into their skin gnawing." He snapped.
I wanted to punch him in the face but instead stood up and snatch my bag. I look around and not one seat was empty. The bus was packed.
"I need to go to the bathroom"
He stood and frown. I pushed past him and he grabs my arm. He stare in my eyes and whisper in my ears.
"If you got drugs on you better dump it. I will not cover for you again or go to jail behind your silly ass." I snatch my arm away and storm to the bathroom. I open the door and stench kill me. It smells like piss. I pulled out the white envelope and open it. The bus hit a bump and it spills into the toilet, I curse and walk out. Brick is standing by the door.
"So did you get high?" He whispers.
"No, I didn't for your information and why would you want to talk to a flea?"
He takes a deep breath and balls his fist.
"You can’t sniff your problems away. It ain't my business but you remind me of a friend I lost and shit I don't know."
His eyes become glossy and he leans his head back.
"Was it an old girlfriend?"
"No, just someone I cared about. We didn't fuck or nothing. She was a misfit like me caught up in the gang life in the 'cuse. She got killed over some dumb shit."
I touched his hand and rubbed it. He looks down at my hand and I jerked it back.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you I have trust issues and so much going on."
"No need to explain I have those same issues but I don't share my issues on others who are treating me with a little kindness."
"You were in a gang? Is that where you got your name from, Brick?"
"Brick is my real middle name.I just used it for the gang life. I was the kinda dude that people in the 'cuse knew not to fuck with. I paralyzed someone with one hit. My first name is Jensen"
"I like Jensen better. Where you get your eye color from?"
"I have not a clue."
He shifted in his seat and took off his sweatshirt. I could see why they called him brick, he had muscles on top of muscles. His skin against the white tank top look like mountains of chocolate. The tattoo on his arm read .357 murderers swift made him sexy. His skin glisten and the other tattoo visible showed on his back,"What didn't kill me only made me stronger and sharper.
His body was like a work of art something like Picasso would create. I studied his face, his eyes were slanted, his lips were thick, lined with a neatly trimmed mustache, with a pencil thin hair that lined his chin. He was handsome so I couldn't understand how he would be a misfit.
"It is hot on this bus. Damn. Take off your sweatshirt. You sweating so I know you're hot."
"I'm fine."
"Or do you not want to take of your shirt because of the bruises and marks on your arm?"
I paused and pull at my sleeves over my hands. I looked out the window and the sun was rising.
"Who did those cuts and bruises to your arm?" He looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders. I glanced over and look at Ms. Pearl who is up now she has her bible open and her head bowed.
"Did that councilman do that to your arm?"
"No. I don't know who did it. Can we just drop it, please?"
He raised his hand and made the motion of dropping the ball.
"Dropped."
Ms. Pearl greeted us and waved.
"Good morning Jensen and Janae."
"Good Morning."
We were pulling into Cincinnati and a bulk of the people were getting off to go to the casino. I watched as the bulk of the passengers scurried off while Ms. Pearl remained in her seat. I waited with her. I knew she needed help getting up. I took her by arm and assisted her.
"Thank you Jensen, these old knees are stiff and hurt pretty bad."
"You don't have to explain at all . Janae, grab Ms. Pearl cane."
She took one step at a time and I assisted her to her seat. Janae handed Mrs. Pearl bag and cane. Her bible fell to the floor and several pictures fell out. Janae and I bent down to pick them up I stare at the picture over and it was her. The little girl resembled my Murderer. My heart was in my throat, made it hard to speak. I handed the pictures back to her but held the one with my murderer on it.
"That is my daughter as a little girl." I dropped the picture in her lap and pick up my bag and walk to the far end and then I look back at her.
"You know who I am don't you?" She gave me a queer look and scratched her head.
"No Jensen, I just met you?"
Janae stared at me and scratched her head. I ran my hand over my face and look over the picture and handed it back.
"I thought I may of knew you and your daughter from Syracuse. She looks familiar and I just don’t forget a face. Where are you originally from?"
" California but for a few years we lived in Brooklyn, Ny."
"Oh. How many children does she have?"
"I have two beautiful grandchildren. She had her babies late in life she wanted to wait until she was married."
I watched her gather up the pictures and put them neatly in her bible. She stopped and look at the fat baby in the picture and traced her fingers across it. I heard her mumble
"Lord, I thank you I found him.”
“Who did you find?”
“I meant I found the picture of my grandson I thought I lost it. It was right in the good book. God always protect my valuables.”
I felt the pit of my stomach sink, the picture of the young woman I saw before life wouldn’t let me be on the bus with my biological grandmother. I studied her face,and
Janae called my name snapped me out of my haze. I turn to her and she handed me a sandwich and a bottle of water.
"Those pictures startled you." He rubbed the back of his neck and clear his throat.
"I thought I knew her. Thanks for the sandwich and the water. Is this your peace offering for mouthing at me?"
"Kinda sorta. May I ask a question?"
"Yeah go ahead?"
"Who is your murderer?"
"Why?"
"I guess it seems strange because you are alive and well. So your murderer didn't kill you. So...."
He sat to next to me stretched out his long legs and stared in my eyes. He took off his hat and placed it in his lap.
"I will tell you about my life when you tell me about the cuts on your arms, Ms. Janae."
"Forget I asked the question."
"Forgotten."