CEDRIC PULLED INTO the parking lot of the Missouri Botanical Garden at seven fifty, a grande latte sprinkled with chocolate, nutmeg, and cinnamon at his lips. He needed the jolt. When his alarm sounded at seven, he remembered why he’d set it and his mind kicked into gear, but his tired body lagged behind.
It didn’t help that Tamia had tried her best to get him to stay in bed. She knew where he was going and whom he was meeting, and she had no grounds to be upset. But it didn’t stop her from trying to change his mind. It almost worked, but when Cedric weighed what he’d be giving up against the immediate pleasure of Tamia, the two didn’t compare. There was nowhere else he’d rather be this morning.
But that was what bugged him. He didn’t know why he had such a desire to be here. He had asked to be mentored only as a way to be alone with Cyd, something he’d wanted to do since the night they celebrated her birthday. With some quality time, he was sure he could persuade her that what they felt was worth pursuing. He wasn’t used to being turned down.
But this setting and the hour—not to mention talk of buying a Bible—had killed his vision of their time together. So why was he looking forward to it still? What was it about this woman? She had laid down the terms of their meeting, terms unfavorable to him, and here he was, couldn’t wait to get here. He felt drawn to her in a way he couldn’t explain, like he truly wanted to get to know her—something else he wasn’t used to.
He saw Cyd’s car on the left side of the lot and drove over, parking beside her. He was surprised by the number of cars here already. He’d heard the Garden was a popular place for morning walks, but he couldn’t remember when he’d been here last. Had to have been years, back when a buddy got him to go on a double date to one of the summer evening jazz concerts.
Cedric hopped out and left his jacket in the convertible. With the sun shining and the temperature mild this first Saturday in November, his jogging suit was all he needed. He strode to the glass doors, chucked his empty coffee cup into the wastebasket, and once inside, paid the fee of a couple of dollars. The woman handed him a ticket and a map of the Garden, and he headed upstairs to the café.
He saw Cyd right away at a table for two, next to the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the gardens. She had her back to him, her head buried in a book.
He got that weird feeling again, the one he’d gotten since the first time he met her, the feeling that he couldn’t wait to be near her. She had her hair pulled back, and he almost chuckled to himself. He’d told her she looked sexy with her hair down. When he told Tamia the same, she’d made a point of wearing her hair down whenever he saw her. Not Cyd. If she cared at all what Cedric thought, there was no way to know it. He was starting to love that ponytail, though. It was one more thing that made Cyd uniquely Cyd.
He came up behind her and saw that the book she was reading was the Bible. He leaned down to her ear. “Good morning.”
She looked up and smiled as he took the seat across from her. “Good morning. How are you?”
He held her gaze. She wore a jogging suit as well, navy blue with lime green stripes down the sides. Far as he could tell, she wore no makeup, and she still looked beautiful. “I’m good. How about you?”
“Real good,” she said. Her gaze didn’t falter, but her smile took a playful turn. “I’m proud of you for getting up and out so early this morning.”
He shifted to a more comfortable position. “Did you doubt I’d make it?”
She shrugged slightly, mostly with her head, and lifted her coffee mug. Peering over the top, she said, “Nothing would surprise me with you, Cedric.” She took a sip.
He decided he didn’t need to know what she meant by that. He leaned back in his seat. “So what’d you do last night?”
“Nothing special.” She took another sip. “I did some reading for my Greek lit class. How about you?”
“Not much. I was home.” He felt strangely secretive. He didn’t mind Tamia knowing he was here with Cyd, but he didn’t want Cyd to know he’d spent the night with Tamia.
Cyd pushed a small plate over to him. “I took a chance you might like a banana muffin. I got orange juice, too, but you’ll have to get your own coffee. I didn’t want it to get cold.”
“I love banana muffins.” He was taken by her thoughtfulness. “Thank you. And orange juice is perfect. I just had a latte on the way over.”
“Well, shall we get started?”
Cedric wondered what would come next. “I’m ready if you are.”
“Why don’t we pray first.”
Cyd extended her hands and Cedric took hold, closing his eyes. He couldn’t resist running a finger across the back of her hand.
“Lord God,” Cyd began, “bless our time together this morning. I’m praying that You mentor us both. Lead us where You want to lead us and teach us what You want to teach us. Give us hearts that are willing to listen and follow. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Cyd eased her hands from Cedric’s and reached into a messenger bag beside her chair. “I had a hard time deciding which Bible to get you,” she said, “but I ended up getting one like mine.” She smiled before she produced it. “And no, mine isn’t a women’s devotional Bible.”
She handed him a big leather Bible. When he took it, he flipped through the pages out of courtesy, to look interested, but was surprised when his insides fluttered with anticipation. He’d never had his own personal Bible.
“Turn to the front. I wrote a little note.”
Cedric did and saw handwriting on the first page. It read, To Cedric, This book changed my life. I pray it does the same for you. Cyd.
He stared down at the page, her words drawing him in. His life needed to change. That’s what she was saying. Was she talking about the sex, or was this deeper? His gut said it was deeper, and the meeting took a mysterious turn. It seemed suddenly that she knew more than he did about his own life, at least about where it stood. He wanted to know what she knew.
“Cedric, I’m not sure where to start. When you said you wanted to be mentored, you said there was a lot you didn’t know. Did you have something specific in mind that you wanted to talk about?”
Cedric looked at the Bible again, at Cyd’s words. He cleared his throat. “When I said I wanted to be mentored . . .” He looked up now. “I did have something specific in mind—spending time with you, just like you thought.”
Cyd arched her brows, but her eyes were smiling.
“But it’s true. I’m starting to see there’s a lot I don’t really know.”
Cyd allowed Cedric to hold her gaze. “There’s a lot I don’t know either, Cedric.” She sounded sincere.
He gave a slight chuckle. “I think I’ve got you beat. I’m looking at this Bible and realizing I barely know anything about it, just a few stories I’ve heard on Sunday.”
“Okay, well . . . tell me this.” Cyd looked deep into his eyes. “What do you know about Jesus?”
Cedric felt as if the answer should be obvious, but he was drawing a blank. “Jesus. I mean . . . He’s Jesus. I’m not sure what you want me to say.”
“I’m honestly not trying to make it difficult, Cedric. This just helps me to know where we should start.”
Cedric reflected on the question. “This is basically what I know about Jesus. He was a great man, a prophet. Had a lot of wisdom, did a lot of miracles. Died on a cross.”
“Okay,” Cyd said, nodding. “That’s all true. There’s just a lot more really good stuff, but that’s why we’re here.”
Cyd smiled and her tone was light, and it struck Cedric that he wasn’t used to this kind of vibe between them. She was normally guarded or short with him, admittedly because she wasn’t trying to go where he was leading her. Now she was relaxed. She seemed to care.
“Let’s turn to the Gospel of John,” she was saying, already flipping there.
Cedric followed suit and turned toward the back as she was doing. When he saw John at the top of the page, he slowed down.
“Cedric, what do you think about love?”
The question surprised him. “Um, it’s nice, I guess.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
He thought about it. “Not really, no. I mean, I had times when I was younger and thought I was in love, but it was probably more . . . well, lust, if I’m being honest.”
She leaned in. “Why do you think you’ve never been in love?”
Cedric felt her questions at his core. She was tapping into areas he never thought about, never acknowledged were there. The scary part was he was willing to let her explore.
“I don’t know why. I guess I’ve never met anyone I felt I could truly trust, someone I could commit to. Maybe I never met someone who I felt would love me unconditionally—for me, you know, not because of what I could give them.”
“I can understand that,” Cyd said. She sat back. “We’re about to get to know Someone you can trust and commit your life to, Someone who has loved you unconditionally since the beginning of time.”
Cedric couldn’t say a word. Everything in him said to sit tight and listen.
“He’s the Word, the logos—” Cyd chuckled. “I’ll try to contain myself from getting too much into the Greek—guess it’s the professor in me. Anyway, John really breaks down who Jesus is. It’s an awesome place to start.”
Cyd’s enthusiasm was infectious, but more than that, every word seemed to unlock a secret treasure. He wanted her to keep talking so he could behold it in full.
And she did—for almost an hour and a half. Cedric was trying to process everything he had taken in as Cyd reached a hand across the table.
“Would you mind if I pray, Cedric?”
Cedric nodded and took her hand.
“Lord, thank You for being faithful in leading us this morning. I pray You give Cedric understanding of everything we discussed. Give him faith to believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, as the book of John tells us. Amen.”
Cedric looked up at Cyd, emotions he’d never felt swirling inside of him.
Cyd stared out the window. “It’s so beautiful out there. You want to walk the gardens?”
“That sounds perfect,” he said.
They cleared the trash from their table, walked their things to their cars, and used their tickets to reenter, going upstairs and out the doors this time. As they stepped outside, Cedric was taken by the spectacular water fountain, high and full. He walked into the plaza where it was located, surrounded by oak trees and flower beds, and listened, the sound of the water rushing his senses. He was captivated.
Something about it brought to life one of the passages Cyd had highlighted, Jesus saying He would give living water that would spring up to eternal life. The more he listened the more he was sure of it—this fountain was speaking to him, beckoning him. He closed his eyes and meditated on “living water.”
He realized Cyd was beside him and opened his eyes again, glancing at her. She was in her own contemplation, and when their eyes met, it was as if they both knew. Now was not the time for words. Something deeper was happening.
They strolled from the plaza and took a path that led them to the Rose Garden, which they sauntered through, past the Bell Tree, which Cedric absentmindedly touched, to the sound of tinkling as they passed. They gazed into the reflecting pools and admired the water lilies and the bronze sculptures poised within, taking the pathway around the huge domed Climatron.
A cacophony of birds sounded nonstop in the trees surrounding them, transporting him to his boyhood, when he’d pore over field guides and test how many birds he could identify outside by sight and sound. How long had it been since he’d taken real notice of them? They were abundant here, and he recognized the symphony still—the American robin, the common grackle, and his favorite, the mourning dove. Everything was alive and seemed to be calling to him, calling him to awaken.
They walked through the Chinese Garden and came to the lake in the Japanese Garden, and Cedric was sure when he saw it that this day, this moment was meant for him. A large white great egret swooped over the lake and perched on a tree branch, causing everyone who saw to gasp and watch. Cedric had never seen one, only admired them in pictures, yet here it was. Beautiful, lingering. He could see its penetrating eyes taking in the scene, and in his own eyes, tears rushed to the surface, though he tried hard to blink them back.
He turned to Cyd, who’d been quiet the entire time, and said the words that were burning in his heart. “How do I do it, Cyd? How do I believe?”
Cyd’s gaze went straight to his soul, a place no other woman had ever been. “You don’t have to work to figure it out, Cedric. Just believe.”
“Don’t I have to pray or something?”
Her eyes sparkled. “God would love to hear from you. He loves you.”
It was all he could do to keep the tears from falling. “Will you help me? Pray with me?”
“I’d love to.”
Cyd turned to see where they should go and followed a cobblestone path that led to a wooden bench nestled in a secluded area of trees. They sat next to one another, and when she held out her hand, he shuddered inside, knowing where she was leading him. This had to be the moment she wrote about in the Bible. The moment his life would change.
CYD COULDN’T BELIEVE she’d just led Cedric in a prayer to receive Jesus as his Lord and Savior. He’d been so quiet during the Bible study and then during the walk that she didn’t know what he was thinking. Was this for real?
Still holding hands, Cedric shifted toward her. “So does this mean we can go out now?”
Confused, Cyd looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“Well, before, you said we weren’t compatible; but that’s changed now, hasn’t it?”
Cyd was dumbfounded. Was this really the first thing on his mind after everything they’d covered? Was that prayer just another avenue for him to get what he wanted? She stood, releasing his hand. “You don’t give up, do you?”
“It’s not what you think.” Cedric came to his feet as well. “I know. Your birthday, the Intimacy Group, the mentor thing—I used those things to get next to you. But this is different.” He sighed, walked a few feet away, and threw his head back, looking to the heavens. When he turned back, he was shaking his head.
“I can’t even explain what I’m feeling right now. It’s like, right now my life is beginning or starting over or whatever you want to call it. I see this path in front of me”—he was gesturing with his hands— “and I have no idea where it leads. But based on what you told me, God will be with me. And I know who else I want with me, walking the path.” He came closer. “I want you with me, Cyd.”
“Cedric, you’re being way too impulsive, and I don’t even think you know what you’re talking about. What do you mean you want me with you? Do you even know what you mean?”
Cedric sighed again and stared at a sparrow flitting around a magnolia tree. “Maybe I am being impulsive.” His eyes were on the bird still. “This is all new to me. I’ve never felt this way in my life. I guess it does sound crazy, but for once I wanted to be real.” He turned to Cyd. “You know? I wanted to say what was really in my heart.”
They were silent until Cedric knocked his hand against hers. “Hey,” he said. “Let’s go out to lunch and celebrate.”
“Celebrate what?”
Cedric gave her a mock look of hurt. “Didn’t my life change a few minutes ago? Isn’t that cause for celebration?”
She could only hope it was real. With a sideways glance, she gave an affirmative nod. “Definitely cause for celebration.”
“I know the perfect place,” he said. “We can go just as we are.”
Cyd pulled out of her parking space to follow Cedric to the restaurant, but after a few feet, he slowed and waved her forward. When Cyd lowered her window, he said, “I forgot my phone at home, and a client is supposed to be calling me this afternoon. Do you mind if we run by my place so I can get it? It’s right down the road.”
“Sure,” Cyd said.
They exited the Garden and took the street to the main road, following along Kings Highway about two miles, past the Washington University Hospital and the St. Louis Children’s Hospital, turning onto Forest Park Avenue. Cyd didn’t spend a great deal of time in the Central West End, but she always thought it was vibrant and eclectic in its restaurants and shops, not to mention its diversity of people. It seemed a perfect fit for a guy like Cedric. She could see him hanging out in bars, walking the neighborhood, a fixture in every hot spot . . . he and whatever woman he happened to be with.
They turned onto the street of Cedric’s high-rise, and instead of parking in the garage, he pulled along the curb in front, which offered fifteen-minute parking. Cyd pulled behind him and rolled down her window.
“I’ll wait for you out here,” she called.
He walked to her side of the car. “Why don’t you come on up? I want to show you where I live. It’ll only take a minute.”
She cut the engine, and together they entered an upscale lobby with several seating areas. Cedric greeted the guy at the security desk and headed to the elevator, riding to the eighteenth floor. Cyd loved the décor. The walls in the hallway were a soothing dark beige and the doorways were spaced out, tucked into their own enclaves.
Cedric approached his and unlocked the door.
“Wow,” Cyd said when he opened it. “This is fabulous.”
The kitchen, to their immediate right, had an oversized brown and beige marble counter that jutted out over two leather barstools. The cabinets were Euro style, flat wooden slabs with a dark stain that matched the leather, and the appliances had a gleam hers had never seen. Farther in and to her left were a dark brown leather sofa and two matching armless chairs.
Cyd stepped farther into the living room. “Cedric, these art sculptures are—”
Tamia sauntered toward them from the back of the condo in a revealing piece of lingerie.
Cedric let loose an expletive. “I thought you said you were leaving.” He pushed the door to a close, looking as if he was still registering what was happening.
Tamia strolled up to him, taking his hand. “I wanted to surprise you, baby.”
Cyd backed to the door, ready to leave.
Cedric lifted his hand from Tamia’s. His voice was low, but Cyd could hear.
“I want you to put your clothes on, get your things, and go.” He walked over to the counter area by the sink, unplugged his phone from the charger, and opened the door, holding it for Cyd.
She could tell he was seething, trying to keep it under control.
“You know what?” Cyd said when they were on the other side of the door. “I’m just going to go home.”
Cedric looked devastated. “Cyd, if I had known she would be here—”
“You would’ve let me wait in the car. But she still would’ve been here.” Cyd flashed her palms. “Which is cool. It’s your life.”
She started toward the elevator, and Cedric grabbed her gently and turned her around. “That’s not fair. I’m a different person now than I was when I left this morning. Tamia is part of the before.”
Sighing, Cyd turned more fully toward him. “I understand, but the reality is, you might’ve been changed on the inside, but your life won’t change overnight. You’ve got a lot to work out, Cedric. I’m thankful God used me in your life today, but I think the part I had to play is over.”
She could feel his eyes pleading with her, but she needed to make a break—a clean one.
“Bye, Cedric.”
All the way to the elevator, and as she waited for the doors to open, she knew Cedric’s eyes were on her. Once she was safely inside, she closed hers. And the tears fell.