Chapter Four

Musir was suddenly next to Kent and glaring at him. Then Musir looked at me.

If the night was rough on Blue McCree, it only made Musir ridiculously good-looking. His hair, glossy in the sun from oil and glittering from the salty ocean air, fell in his eyes. The darkness under his eyes accented their depth. The spray from the sea all night and morning soaked his shirt so it clung to his defined chest. The hard night left Musir looking simply rugged.

“How are you, Leah?” he asked in slow words thick with accent.

I didn’t answer right away, surprised to hear my name on his full lips. Just as on the deck, other sounds dulled because of the electric pulse between us. He reached a hand toward the wound on my head as if to explain what he meant, and test the limits of my restraint. He stopped millimeters before his skin touched mine.

“How are you?” he asked again, this time in a steadier tempo.

“I’m all right.” I touched my bandage. “I’m just a little sore.”

Musir nodded and continued to stare at me.

“I am glad you are all right.”

“You understand my English?”

He nodded but then turned to look back over his shoulder toward the bow.

Blue was behind me. He stepped closer to interject.

“He told me last night that he studied English in school. He thinks his comprehension is better than his verbal skills. I don’t know. He seems to speak it okay when he takes the time to try. I think last night he was just under a lot of pressure and couldn’t slow down to think it through.”

“I get it.” I offered a smile. “I had three-and-a-half years of French at school and got good grades in my tests. However, I get too nervous when it comes to speaking with native French-speakers.”

Musir looked at me but didn’t smile. He dropped his gaze and nodded. I looked behind him toward the bow and saw the fourth person in our group of survivors. She was a woman in her early thirties and lay on her back under one of the far benches. A bright-orange life jacket cushioned her head. Water swirled in shallow pools around her hips where they met the floor of the boat.

“We don’t know her name,” Blue said, noticing my gaze. “We picked her out of the water just in time. She saw our boat from one of the higher decks and jumped. I’m guessing she meant to land in the water and swim to us, but she’s the one who we think might have hit the side of the boat on her way down. We think she was knocked out. If she wasn’t wearing a life vest, she wouldn’t have floated back up and we wouldn’t have saved her.”

The woman didn’t stir or move a muscle. Her short red hair was tinged blackish-red with blood on one side. Crudely torn strips of cloth held her arm against her body. I thanked God it wasn’t Mom after all. No matter how much I wanted her here with me, I couldn’t wish such pain on her.

Musir spoke. Blue translated again.

“Musir says he didn’t have material for a proper splint, so he held her arm in place that way. She dislocated her shoulder. He popped it back into place.”

Blue suddenly looked sick. He gulped.

“Why’s she under the bench in the water?”

Kent Carson spoke up.

“I asked Aladdin here the same thing. He said she might roll off the bench and also this keeps her outta the sun. You can’t make her drink water while she’s passed out like that. He didn’t want her to burn and get dehydrated too quickly.”

I made my way slowly over to the only other woman on the boat, wishing she’d wake up. Then again, if she dislocated her shoulder, what other damage was done? If my head ached just from bumping it, how much pain would she be in if she were to wake up?

I hiked my long, now-cumbersome skirt up a little to kneel next to her. I brushed a few strands of wet hair from her face. She didn’t look like she was doing very well at all. If she didn’t wake up and get something to drink, there was no way she’d survive out here in the heat.

I saw all three men looking expectantly in my direction when I stood up. Maybe they thought I’d have some diagnosis, treatment, or at least a suggestion on how to proceed now I was awake.

Kent Carson was pink, pudgy, and casual.

Blue McCree looked beaten but hopeful.

Musir looked concerned and…so darned rugged.

“What now?” was all I could muster, trying to push the attention back on them. My stomach ached with worry that they might expect the answer from me. They were up all night so should have had time to come up with something.

Blue stepped forward and motioned me to come closer and sit down. He seemed ever-concerned for safety over and above anything else. I was standing too close to the edge for his comfort.

“Okay, so here’s where we’re at. I think we should paddle until we find land. The earth provides for her inhabitants. We’ll find food and water.”

I thought about his suggestion for a moment before replying. “That sort of makes sense.”

Musir said something. Blue glanced at him.

“What did he say?” I asked.

“Nothing that should sway the decision.”

“Translate,” Musir said.

Blue’s eyes narrowed. He shot Musir an annoyed look.

“Are you paying me for my translation services? No. I just stepped forward to help a nice girl in need. Now I have to translate for you because you’re too embarrassed about your English skills to speak for yourself? You know English. Be a man and make your own case.”

Musir grumbled but then began to speak slowly and carefully.

“Fine. We do not know where we are. Nothing is around. I do not think we should use our energy paddling when we may be headed away from land.”

He crossed his arms, satisfied with his argument. The sweat on his skin was glossy in the sun as he tensed the muscles in his forearms.

Kent Carson smirked. “Well now, look who’s better at English than he let on.”

Musir glared at Kent, as Blue glared at Musir. I stood in the middle of it all. I generally had such clarity of thought but was now totally unsure what to think.

“Listen,” Blue said, “Musir doesn’t think we’ll know how to get to the mainland. However, there are islands peppering these waters, maybe even resort islands.”

“Resorts?” Musir asked. “This is only a guess. It’s not likely we will find a resort island, and not likely we will find islands that will…sustain us. An island will cover us from rescue.”

“How sure are you that we’ll actually find an island?” I asked Blue.

“Of course I can’t be one-hundred-percent sure, but I’m pretty sure. Even if it isn’t a resort island, even if it’s deserted, it is land. The land will provide for us what we really need.”

The sun was directly overhead. Very soon we’d have been out on this boat for an entire twenty-four hours.

Musir thought for a moment, translating his argument in his mind before nodding to himself. His argument flowed well as a result of his preparation. He stepped closer to me with his dark gaze glued to mine.

“There will be boats and planes after the attack. If the gunmen took the ship hostage, negotiators will be coming. Even if they were stopped, the police will come. There will be medics to help the wounded. They will search these waters.”

Kent Carson broke in again. I couldn’t tell from his question if he sided with Blue or Musir on this issue.

“When do ya think those guys will start searching? We haven’t seen ‘em yet.”

“Soon, it must be soon. They will come once they know the ship was attacked. If we paddle away in search of an island then we will not be in the area they are searching. Even if we can survive a short time on an island, we will be…gambling? Is that the correct word? We might risk our hope of rescue. Rescue, Leah,” he added. His accent was thick and deep around the words, almost syrupy. He nodded again. He raised his eyebrows as though asking if I understood the argument. Evidently he didn’t realize he made quite an eloquent argument.

I wouldn’t have thought to question the goal for seeking land. Wasn’t that always the hope if one was adrift as sea? However, Musir had a point about being seen by rescuers.

Then again, Blue’s thoughtful eyes and the way he spoke about the land providing made me wonder if he thought this through more than anyone else. Blue touched my elbow to get my attention, then slid his hand from my forearm to my wrist and grasped my hand lightly.

Blue’s hand felt casual on mine. I could see my faint reflection in his crooked glasses. My wire headband hardly held back any hair now, and my bangs fell into my face. The bandages on my head would have looked dramatic if not for the wounds on the unconscious woman laying just a few benches away. I pulled off my headband then pushed it through the front of my hair, moving my bangs out of my eyes.

Both options had merit.

Blue and Musir looked at me expectantly.

“What?” I asked.

Kent Carson was the first to answer. “They’ll be expecting you to be the tie-breaker, missy.”

This was a surprise.

“Me? No. No, I can’t make the decision for all of us.” I slunk back toward the bow and the woman away from the group. “Why me?”

“Well, that chick over there ain’t sayin’ much.” He nodded his head to our silent passenger. “I don’t really care. I’ve said I’ll go with whatever they wanna do if it means I don’t die on this boat. I’ll paddle if they want me too, at least for as long as I can hold out. I’ll wave my arms and shout if a plane goes by if we’re gonna just sit here and do nothin’.”

“Don’t you have any opinion on the matter at all?” I asked. The panic was rising inside me all over again. I didn’t want everyone looking at me right now and didn’t want to side with Blue or Musir over the other. Most of all, I didn’t want to decide the fate of the passengers on this boat.

“Missy, I’m just glad to be alive and off that cruise ship. One of them terrorists had a gun pointed right at me when I jumped,” Kent said.

Blue cut in now.

“You don’t know if he would have shot you, Mister Carson. What’s the point of surviving that just to die on a lifeboat bobbing in the middle of the ocean?”

“Or on a barren island,” Musir said, “far from where people are looking for you?”

“Better on an island,” Blue muttered, “with water and food and shade, than in the sun without drinkable water.”

“Hey, kids, I told ya I ain’t voting here. Whatever you guys all decide, I’ll go with,” Kent said.

Musir’s voice was thick again. He turned to face me and motioned toward the woman under the bench near the bow of the boat.

“The woman will not live long enough for us to find land to provide.” The last word left his mouth with dark sarcasm. He found Blue’s eco-friendly thinking ridiculous. “She will not live, even if we live.”

“She’ll die,” Blue said softly, “in the heat without food or water, even if we can survive on what small provisions we have. Her only hope is us finding land.”

Musir muttered something under his breath in Arabic. Blue released my hand. He replied in Arabic and rolled his eyes.

Musir shouted back. His voice booming suddenly shocked me.

“What did you say to him?” I asked.

“I was only stating the obvious. She’s probably going to die whether we start paddling toward a hope of land or hold out with a hope of rescue.”

“What did he say? Why did he shout?” I asked.

“He said I was…an insensitive jerk…well…in so many words. Seriously though, if she dies it’s because it has taken so long to make this decision. If we started paddling for land last night after the ship left us out here, or even first thing this morning, we might have a shady place for her now.”

Kent smirked. He was starting to get on my nerves.

“It sounds like Aladdin has a crush on Ginger.”

Musir shook his head and asked, “Explain?”

“You know. Ginger―the redhead over there. You gotta thing for her?”

Musir seethed but held still as though to move would mean to attack.

“Okay, come on, Mister Carson,” Blue said. I realized then that Blue didn’t actually hate Musir. They just disagreed; on everything.

“What? She’s cute enough, especially those long legs.”

“For heaven’s sake, Mister Carson, she’s unconscious and dying. Will you please contain yourself? This isn’t a laughing matter. Besides, if you care only for your own skin, take a look at Musir and you’ll see you’d be smart to hold your tongue.”

“Fine, fine. Everyone’s so freakin’ wound up,” Kent Carson muttered. “I’ll go hide my head in the sand, if that’s what ya’ll want!”

He climbed under the tarp.

Musir watched him and once he was out of view mumbled something sharply.

“Well!” Blue laughed then smiled at Musir, who managed a grin in response. “At least we agree on something.”

“What did he say?”

Blue looked from Musir to me and back again. Musir shot him a glance with a small smile to soften it.

“Errr…let’s just say he called Mister Carson an animal, or something like that.” He laughed. “Okay, okay, you two. What is it going to be? I understand your point about the woman, Musir. I still think we’re more likely to survive on land, but I’m willing to go with the consensus. I’m not a fighter.”

I thought of his black eye and wondered if this was a jab at Musir’s more physical nature. As for me, I always prided myself on my rational thinking. Wasn’t brain more important than brawn in a situation like this? I didn’t have anywhere to hide, so I hoisted up the responsibility I was given.

“Well, I guess I’m the tie-breaker. I see the rationale about staying in one place, but my goodness, look how far we’ve travelled in the time we’ve been talking! We’ve been drifting like this all night and morning and day. I think even if we chose to stay where we are…Well, we don’t really have that choice. It is just whether we’re going to drift aimlessly away, or paddle in one direction.”

I paused. I had to phrase this as my choice of two options…two options for action, not two options of people. We had to be a team.

“Let’s paddle a while. It would be different if it was just us, or the tides weren’t as strong. However, we need to give this woman as much of a chance as we can.”

At first I wondered if Musir understood what I was saying, but then he sighed and nodded in compliance.

I flashed Blue and Musir a smile to lighten the mood.

“Remember, Mister Carson said he’d paddle if we told him too. I say we make that animal do a little penance.”

* * * *

Liquid gold poured over the water as the sun set. I sat on a bench with my knees drawn up. I watched the sky change color and felt as alone as I could be on a small lifeboat with four other people. As the day carried on and we took turns paddling, we also grew quiet, not that we didn’t have things to say. We hardly knew one another. Just that getting-to-know-you stuff could have filled some of the silence. We all had our concerns and fears, however, and the dipping sun leading into our second night on the water left us all feeling solemn.

Musir paddled now. No one could argue that his shifts lasted longest. For not being a supporter of the island idea, he certainly had the stamina the rest of us did not. Perhaps he was just too physical a person to sit around and do nothing.

Blue did his fair share of rowing too and wanted to find land the most of all. I wasn’t sure I quite agreed with his take on the earth providing. It was just land. Sometimes land provided, sometimes land was barren, and sometimes land was brutal. Who knew what we’d find? For being a cerebral-type, he rowed as much as he could manage before calling the change.

Kent Carson only put in some effort after he became hungrier and more desperate for water. The guy just couldn’t match Musir’s strength and Blue’s persistence. It didn’t help him being more than double their age either.

I did what I could despite Musir’s protests. It was more than Mister Carson could do anyway. Though my youth helped, my preference for books and thought over sports and fitness left me less useful than I liked to admit.

Sitting on the bench watching the sunset was more my pace, as lonely as it was. I allowed my mind to wander right back to the ship, my parents, and the unknown of what might have happened to them. If I allowed my mind to stay in the present, it settled on the fact that we might have survived the terrorists only to die in a more excruciating way on this boat. My thoughts were not a refuge in the midst of such fear and hopelessness.

If only I had a book in hand to keep my mind occupied, sitting here watching the sunset would be tolerable. My mind stumbled over the plot to Jack Kerouac’s On the Road to console me for my lack of literature. I thought through the plot and inserted the quotes I could remember by heart.

“`Have you dug this Mexican sun, Jack?’” I said under my breath, trying to relive reading a book I could not hold in my hands. “`Whoo…I want to get on and on. This road drives me.’”

Musir opened his eyes from deep concentration. Just this small movement caught my attention and drew me back to the situation. I wanted to watch him move. I wanted to see his muscles tensing with every stroke of the oar, and the sweat making his golden skin glossy. He hadn’t removed his shirt even in the searing heat. I vacillated between wanting him to and wanting him to remain covered. If he took off that shirt, I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off him.

He saw me glancing over. I stood and stretched, making sure my dress stayed where it was supposed to. Last night I was hoping he’d see me in this dress. Who knew what would befall us that hour? I made my way toward him. He didn’t slow his rowing, though he was long overdue for a shift change.

“Hey there,” I said, awkwardly stepping over some benches and planting myself on a bench two rows down from him.

“Hello,” he replied, rowing, rowing with heavy breaths.

“It’s probably Blue’s turn now, you know. I can ask him to come out. I think he’s sleeping under the tarp.”

“No.” He breathed with a stroke. “I am fine.”

“Would you like some company?”

Musir dug the oar into the water again and again. I was sure he’d either say no or not respond at all, but I needed some company; me of all people.

He surprised me with his answer.

“Okay.”

“Oh! Okay. Um, company it is. Well, how are you doing?”

He drew his chin down to his chest as he paddled. He glared up at me through dark lashes, rowing, rowing. The sweat beaded on his head.

“Oh, right. You probably can’t really talk much, I guess. Sorry. Um, hey, I checked on the woman a while ago. She’s breathing, but it’s shallow. The blood has clotted. I still don’t think she’s so good. Stop me if you don’t understand.”

“I understand,” he said without a moment’s thought.

“I’m concerned she won’t make it. I don’t have any medical knowledge though, so she might be just fine once we find land. Maybe I’m worrying unnecessarily.”

He closed his eyes again and continued pulling the oars through the water. He grimaced. Did he think I was overreacting, or did he think things were direr than I realized? Why didn’t he just say what he was thinking?

“Um, there are some water bottles left in the first-aid compartment. Would you like one?”

“No. Save it.”

“Okay.”

“But…thank you.” His expression softened and his eyes fluttered open. He stared at me intensely as he continued rowing.

The horizon caught my eye again. It was glowing copper with the violet sky descending on the water now.

“Did you see the sunset?”I asked, raising my chin toward the horizon. “It’s just beautiful. It almost makes you forget how bad things are but not quite. I mean, I’m thankful to be alive though…”

His looked across at the woman lying unconscious.

“Yeah.” I answered the statement he didn’t make. “I hope she pulls through too. You know, I keep thinking about…well…are you worried about your parents?”

He nodded but didn’t speak.

“Me too. Mine were in the dining hall. I heard gunfire in there. I was supposed to be in the hall but went back to the room to get a jacket.” I nodded to the corduroy jacket lying across a bench close to Musir. I took it off shortly after making the decision to row for land. Now that night was upon us, I’d soon be ready to put it back on.

“Then of course you caught me as I was going to go in. I’m so worried about them. Don’t you think maybe the gunmen were just trying to take us hostage like Blue said but not kill us? I feel like I’d be able to sense if my parents were…” I choked on my words. “If anything happened to them, I mean. I know they’re worried sick about me. It hurts thinking about them being so scared, your parents too. Don’t you wish we could just send them a sign that we’re okay?”

The rowing slowed. He raised his gaze to meet mine again. His eyes were full of intensity and concern, not hopeless but not expectant either. His eyes questioned my comment about us being “okay.” He was tired. We’d been rowing all day and had very little fresh water left. We had no direction and, per his argument that morning, little hope.

We aren’t really okay, are we?

I looked away from his eyes and didn’t answer the question I read in them. Moments crawled without words until I broke the silence and looked up to find him still watching me.

“Do you mind that I’m talking so much?”

“No,” he said again without a pause, “I do not mind at all.”

I blushed and hoped the dying light would disguise it. Was it his statement that warmed my cheeks, or the intimate way his eyes examined my face?

“What brought you on the cruise?” I asked, trying to fill the heavy silence.

“My parents brought me,” he said. He tilted his head as though unsure why I’d ask such a thing.

“I mean, why did your family decide to take a cruise?”

He nodded and thought through his answer, translating it before replying. Then he pulled the oars from the water and laid them across his knees, leaning on the narrow table this created.

“A celebration.”

He pulled one arm across his chest to stretch the muscles and then did the same with the other arm. I watched how the ropes of muscle pulled taut and how his shirt, wet from the constant sea spray, clung to his arms.

“What were you celebrating, a birthday or something?”

“Celebrate…no. This is the wrong word I used. Anniversary? Not one to celebrate. I will think about how to explain.”

“Okay.”

There was silence. Then he hastened to add, “Not now. I will tell you sometime.”

“Oh, okay.”

He looked out over the horizon where midnight blue was descending over the water. As the light dimmed, he began to disappear before me in the dark. I breathed in and could sense him. The smell of the salt of his sweat was distinct from the salty air.

“You didn’t want to go on the cruise?”

“I am eighteen years old. We just moved to the United States. It is a good thing to do something together as a family.”

“You didn’t seem too happy when I saw you earlier on the ship. You seemed kind of sorry to be there.”

He sighed. I wondered if he was tiring of my line of questioning. Maybe he was just tired. Moments passed. I was ready with a new topic on deck, but then he replied in a barely audible voice.

“The timing of the cruise was a trick by my parents to try to make me forget the sad anniversary. It was yesterday.”

“I’m sorry.”

I hoped he’d tell me more, but the dark and otherworldly tone of his voice made me realize he was already somewhere else. He didn’t reply.

Had this “sad anniversary” been why he hadn’t spoken to me except when there was an emergency yesterday? Was it why he withdrew from my touch? What kind of sad anniversary was it? A death, or was it a break-up? Was it a problem with a girl?

He suddenly stood and stretched his arms over his head. He announced something in a booming voice in Arabic. I heard a mutter from under the tarp.

“Come on, it can’t be my turn yet!”

I turned toward the orange tarp. It was visible even in the fading light. A foot stuck out. Blue adjusted until his head appeared. He said something in Arabic then repeated it in English for my benefit.

“Why can’t we just sleep for the night and paddle more in the morning?” he asked through the darkness.

“Night is cooler. It is better for you,” Musir said. He wasn’t gentle in his delivery. There was a touch of annoyance that Blue McCree would complain when rowing was his idea in the first place, and when Musir took the hotter shift.

“Let’s just sleep. I’ll take the shift first thing in the morning.”

“It was your idea to paddle…”

Blue came out from under the tarp just as the moon emerged behind a cloud. Pale moonlight flooded the boat. Blue’s tousled hair appeared silver. His light-green eyes looked tired. He glanced up at the stars revealed by the clouds parting.

“Well, I suppose this view was worth getting up for. It’s breathtaking and sure makes one feel insignificant.”

I followed his gaze to the infinite stars dusting the sky.

“It was your idea to paddle,” Musir repeated. “Look for land.”

Blue crossed his arms. I noticed he was certainly thinner than Musir. However, his muscles looked tightened and lean when the moonlight fell on him. I imagined how it might feel to touch his shoulders, to lay fingers against him, and feel his clavicles under the taut skin. I shivered. He noticed.

“Hey, you’ve got your jacket right here,” he said and grabbed it off the seat. He made his way toward me and put the jacket over my shoulders. “No reason to be standing out in the cold. Why not go under the tarp? The heat is kind of trapped under there.”

Musir cut in with an argument in Arabic to Blue. Man, did these guys ever agree?

Blue looked surprised and then nodded. “I didn’t think about that. I think you’re being dramatic, but I guess you can’t be too careful. Are you tired? Do you want to get some shut eye?”

“Now that you mention it, I suppose that wouldn’t hurt.” My conversation with Musir was evidently over. “What did he say to you just now?”

I was getting tired of the translations. At least this time they agreed. I’d be more likely to get something clear and straight.

“Um…well…he just didn’t feel right about having you sleep under the tarp with Kent Carson there.”

“Why not?” I asked before the answer hit me. “Oh. Eww.”

Blue shrugged.

I said without confidence, “It’s probably okay, right? I mean, I need to sleep at some point. We have three men on the boat. I’m going to end up under there with at least one of you any time I need to sleep.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t think it is very safe for you. He says he will sleep out on the benches. He expects Mister Carson to do the same.”

“I don’t know if Mister Carson will be willing to, or if he’ll even fit.” I eyed the width of the benches.

“It doesn’t hurt to ask. If he can’t sleep, he’s welcome to take my shift rowing.” Blue laughed and nodded for Musir to fetch Kent Carson.