Zyan
While Ava was out on her hot date with her girlfriend and her girlfriend's best friend, Zyan decided to put his free evening to good use and finish the small job he'd taken on for the phone company.
Web design wasn't the greatest job in the world, but since he could do it from his home office and choose his projects, he wasn't about to switch into another field any time soon. The money he earned was also enough to not draw any suspicion as to how he could afford his apartment, which was really the only reason he continued to work, period.
By the time he was done for the day and stretching out his sore muscles, it was closing in on 11 p.m.—late enough for him to expect Ava's return from her 'date.' He picked up a book, switched on soft music, and settled down on his couch as he waited.
His assumption proved correct when his door was unlocked shortly before midnight.
"Hey, Zy—whoa."
Ava stumbled into the room after she tripped over the threshold. Her hand shot out to grab the doorjamb as she reclaimed her balance and came to a halt. Upon standing still, she struggled to pull the key from the lock.
"You'd think I'd be used to all this by now, but no…" she muttered.
"Hi, Ava." Zyan didn't bother to get up and help her.
Twenty seconds later, Ava flopped down on the other end of the couch with a flush on her face and happy twinkle in her eyes.
Zyan glanced up to find eyes filled with expectation. Before he could even open his mouth, she was already leaning closer and cutting him to the chase.
"Aren't you even gonna ask how my date went?"
"I was just about to."
Ava smiled giddily. "Well, either way, it was great! We watched a whole bunch of movies and ordered take-out and held hands—"
"You and the girl or you and the best friend?" Zyan cut in.
Ava pursed her lips and squinted her eyes at him. "You're an idiot."
"That's debatable."
Ava sighed. "Anyway. We had a really good time. I hope. I think. I mean, it felt a little awkward in the beginning 'cause I didn't know how to act around Carter, but he warmed up to me soon enough, and—"
Zyan zoned out as soon as the name dropped. Memories flooded him and overshadowed all other thoughts. He hated how Carter still had that effect on him, even after all this time. He should have been over Carter by now. He should've moved on and continued to build the life he'd planned for himself. Instead, he sat there and felt his heart skip a beat at the mere mention of his ex-husband's name. He rubbed his fingertips together as he tried to drag his mind back to the present.
"Zyan? Are you even listening to me?"
"Huh? Yeah. Sure." Zyan paused. "Uh, I'm glad your date went well. That…uh, girl…she sounds great. Um, don't forget to invite me to your wedding. I'll pay for the rings."
Ava looked a little concerned. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm just tired."
Ava sat up straighter. "Do you want me to go? I don't want to keep you up if—"
"No, no. It's fine. You can stay."
Ava slouched again. "Okay. So…um, I was thinking about inviting Jessie and you over to my place next weekend to, you know, return the favor, and hopefully get your blessing." Her smile looked hopeful.
Zyan didn't feel capable of returning it with honesty, so he kept his expression neutral. "I'm not sure that would be the best idea."
Ava's smile faded. "Why not? Don't you wanna meet her?"
"Honestly? I never want to meet anybody new in general. But I also don't think she would want to meet me. People and I don't really get along, and me third-wheeling would only ruin your date, so how about I just stay as far away from her as possible?"
Ava drew her eyebrows together. "I'm serious, Zyan, this is important to me. She's important to me. Just meet her, get to know her, tell me what you think. This is the first time in a long time I've actually been serious about someone, and it'd mean a lot to me if you could give her a chance. I mean, you never know, right? Maybe you'd hit it off and gain a friend!"
Zyan pressed his lips together as he saw the earnest look in her eyes. "Ava…" He paused. "You're clearly happy with Jessica and how things are, so why change something that already works?"
"You're literally just talking shit right now," Ava accused. "What the hell, Zyan? Why's it so hard for you to get off your ass and be a decent human being for one night?"
"It's not that! It's just—it's…complicated."
"How? How is this complicated?"
"When you're my age, you start to realize it is smarter to stay away from…mortals."
"That's what I am to you? A 'mortal?'"
Zyan's eyes narrowed in irritation. "Don't start putting words in my mouth. I never said that."
Ava groaned in frustration. "What are you even saying? That you don't wanna meet her 'cause she's mortal? Do you think she's below you?"
"No, of course not."
"Then where's the problem?"
Zyan averted his eyes and rubbed over his forehead. "When—when you're as old as me, you realize life quickly becomes nothing but a series of heartbreaks. You meet new people, you let them into your life, allow them into your heart, and for a while, things are good. They burn bright, they light your way and ease the pain of the past, but eventually you realize how they…change. They grow older. Their opinions change, their personalities shifts, but things are somehow still the same, and you allow yourself to forget about what's to come.
"Then they get achy, go to the doctors more, their hair turns gray or white, their skin becomes a display of the years they've lived and survived, and realization hits me with enough force to physically hurt. But it's always too late to back out. I've come to care for these people. I love them, and I'd never leave for my own sake. I stick around. I help where I can, pay bills where they let me, and suffocate any worry they have about me.
"And then the day inevitably comes where I'll walk into their home or visit them at the hospital and their bodies are all that's left behind. I'm numb at first, because I always am, because it always comes as a shock, because somehow, I always manage to push down the fears and the worries. It never gets easier to navigate the darkness that follows, and it never gets easier when my thoughts inevitably turn to the families left behind.
"Days pass without tears or sadness, until I show up at the funeral and watch from the sidelines as the families I could never meet lower their loved ones into the ground and say their goodbyes. The next day, I pack my bags, send them enough money to cover the funeral expenses, and move on to another place where I know things'll eventually repeat themselves."
"Do you ever regret it?" Ava asked. Her voice was low, empathetic.
"Letting them in?"
"Yeah."
Zyan sat silent for a beat before he shook his head. "Never."
A heavy silence fell around them, charged with emotion and thoughts of the inevitable future looming in the distance.
"You said you always watch from the sidelines," Ava said eventually. "You never meet their families?"
"Sometimes I do. Carter and I, back in the early 1900s, once stuck around a family for three generations before the cholera epidemic hit and forced them to their knees. They all died, one by one. It was brutal. After that, I made a point of staying in one place for no longer than a human lifespan. It makes it easier. To start fresh. Build a life. Move on."
Ava nodded but didn't say anything.
Zyan's throat was tight under the weight of his own words. He'd just painted his future in front of Ava's eyes, had just told her what he'd do once she died and pushed her to confront her own mortality in the face of his own immortality. "I'm sorry."
Ava frowned. "What for?"
"I know how it sounds. What I just told you, it doesn't mean you're not unique or important to me. It doesn't mean you're one of many, or that I'll forget you, or that this'll just blur in with the rest of my life. I remember each of them. Every single person I've lost. I cherish the time I had with them and I'll never forget them. You—" He took a deep breath. "One day, when you've passed, I promise you, I'll remember everything you've done for me. I lived secluded, cut off from everyone, before you stumbled into my life. I don't know where I'd be without you."
Ava didn't speak, but she leaned in and wrapped her arms around Zyan's neck. Her head lay pillowed on his shoulder as the words sunk in and the moon rose higher. The CD had long since played its last note and left them with their own thoughts.
Zyan's head dipped until his temple rested against Ava's hair. His arm wrapped around her as his eyes drooped shut. He wanted to push the memories away and ignore what it'd mean for the future. The thought of Ava aging and one day leaving him was too painful to bear. She was all he had. Before her, he'd been alone, trapped in a never-ending cycle of project after project to drown his sorrows in work and only going outside if absolutely necessary. He didn't want to go back to that. It hadn't felt like living.
"I don't know if you can avoid meeting her forever," Ava said softly. Her voice sounded hoarse.
Zyan opened his eyes but didn't lift his head. "You're serious about her, aren't you?"
"Yeah. It's never felt like this before. And I know it's still fresh, but…I think she's the one for me."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"I'll meet her. If you still want me to."
"Really?"
"I've got to see what's so special about this woman that's got you so shook, right?"
Ava sounded caught off guard by her own laughter. "Shook? Really now?"
"I may be old, Ava, but I do still keep up with the kids."
"And what a good job you do at that."
"Oh, shut it."