2 Years Later
Jessica
They were all gathered in Zyan and Carter's apartment, where they'd pushed the furniture aside to put several pillows and blankets in their place. They lay spread out on the floor, near the TV, after they'd come together to celebrate Christmas, despite only one of them being an actual practicing Christian.
Since Carter and Zyan only had each other, and Ava had already celebrated Hanukkah with her family, they'd decided to spend the day with Jessica, who didn't want to face her family this year.
"So," Ava started. "When are you guys gonna get hitched again?"
Zyan and Carter threw a short glance at each other.
"I, for one, don't think it's necessary," Zyan said.
Ava frowned at him. "Why?"
"Yeah," Jessica added. "With all your past marriages, I would've thought you'd enjoy the ceremony."
Carter shrugged. "We've talked about it and…we're just not sure it's worth it. Promising each other forever is put into perspective when you're immortal and immune to pretty much all diseases."
"But you already knew that before," Ava pointed out.
"And we ignored our doubts, and look where that got us," Zyan said.
"On the floor with two girls and your ex-husband?" Jessica replied.
"Exactly," Carter answered.
"We keep getting divorced," Zyan continued. "Why can't we just stay together, unmarried, and enjoy our time? Should we split up again somewhere down the line, we'll be able to just go ahead and do it, without worrying about formalities."
"Marriage is overrated anyway," Carter said.
"Hey!" Ava and Jessica protested.
Carter recoiled and shuffled closer to Zyan.
"Now, let's stop discussing my private life, and instead watch those movies you keep yapping on about." Zyan tossed the remote over Carter to Jessica, who threw him one last glare before she pressed 'play.'
Night fell a few hours later and left them tired, yawning, and blinking exceptionally slowly. Yet they still kept each other awake as they lay curled up on the blankets and pillows and stared into the darkness.
"Where do you think the monsters under our beds go during the day?" Ava asked into the room. "Do they portal to some kind of day-job?"
Jessica shrugged, her shoulder brushing against Ava's in the process. "It's always night somewhere, so maybe they're responsible for more than one bed."
"Didn't they make an animated movie about that?" Carter asked.
"That was about the monsters in the closets," Zyan replied.
"Oh," Carter said. "Is there a difference?"
"Apparently," Zyan said.
"My brother used to be terrified of the dark," Jessica told them.
"You have a brother?" Zyan asked, clearly only teasing.
Jessica could feel Carter move next to her, most likely to elbow Zyan, who made a small, pained noise.
"I can't even imagine Luke being scared," Ava said.
"Oh, he was the wimpiest little kid," Jessica snickered. "He doesn't like to talk about it, but he was scared of pretty much everything: heights, water, darkness, spiders, bugs, snakes, sharks, rats, shadows…" She paused. "I don't think there's anything he wasn't afraid of."
"Wow," Ava replied. "He's come quite far since then."
Jessica nodded in agreement.
"My sister used to be afraid of the woods," Zyan said.
Jessica whipped her head around, despite being unable to see Zyan through the blackness of their surroundings. "You have a sister?"
"Had," Zyan corrected her. "She's long dead by now."
Jessica winced. "Of course. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"It's fine," Zyan said. "The last time I saw her, she was only ten years old."
"I can barely remember her," Carter said quietly.
"Me too." Zyan's voice was low, guarded. "I didn't even get to say goodbye to her."
Ava asked the question Jessica was too afraid to ask herself. "What happened?"
"She wasn't there when I…died," Zyan told them. "And after Carter had brought me back, Mother made a short process of kicking us out. She probably told my sister I died and my body got taken. The only thing I can remember of her is her messy black hair and her dark brown eyes. She loved to cook and dance and make up little games we could play with small rocks and pebbles that she painted in different colors. She'd always beg me to take her out on the ocean with our canoe."
"What was her name?" Jessica asked.
Zyan was silent for a long time. When he spoke again, his voice sounded uneven. "I don't remember."
"I'm sorry," Jessica got out. Her throat felt tight. "I didn't mean to…"
"It's fine," Zyan said. He didn't sound like it was fine.
A heavy silence settled around them. For what felt like half an hour, nobody dared to break it, aside from the occasional sound of somebody shifting to get more comfortable.
Jessica felt the tension like a weight on her chest. She couldn't imagine living centuries, losing everything she knew, changing and reinventing herself over and over again. Even just over the last few years, her entire life had changed. From meeting Ava, getting married, and finally coming to terms with her parents' disapproval, all the way to now, where she was the happiest she'd ever been. She'd grown and established herself as a person, yet she knew her transformation would last until the moment she took her last breath.
As much as she didn't like to think about her inevitable end, it was still something she preferred over the concept of immortality. She wouldn't be able to bear all the loss and pain, and neither did she want to bury everyone she loved while she stayed young. Growing old with Ava—that was what she wanted. That was her idea of a happy end.
"I wish we were outside right now," Ava whispered, breaking the silence and startling the rest of them.
"Why?" Jessica asked after a short pause in which she tried to push her thoughts aside.
"We could be looking at the stars instead of the ceiling." Ava was quiet for a few beats. "We should all go for a picnic someday. Leave in the afternoon and stay until nightfall. There's a beautiful tree in the park that would provide some shade if it's too hot."
"Picnics are overrated," Zyan said. "Especially underneath a tree. All it gets you is ants in your pants and spiders in your hair."
"Ants in your pants," Carter repeated, sounding amused.
"Shut up," Zyan responded, with no heat behind his words.
Jessica yelped and sat up when she was suddenly kicked in the shin. "Ouch! Why?"
Ava, who'd been trying to free her legs of the blanket, winced. "Sorry, Jessie. I need to go the bathroom."
Jessica lay back down while Ava rummaged through her bag for a few seconds before heading toward the small hallway.
"Have fun!" Carter called after her.
The remaining three lay in silence until Ava's voice caught their attention. "Ah!"
"Are you okay?" Jessica called out. "What happened?"
"Do you know that feeling when you insert a tampon slightly wrong and it feels like you've just stabbed yourself in the gut?"
Jessica cringed. "Yeah! Don't do that!"
"Thanks, Jessica. I don't know what I'd do without you!"
"Hey! Don't sass me. That's my job!"
Ava didn't respond.
"Is that really a thing that happens?" Carter asked, sounding mildly concerned.
"Yeah," Jessica replied.
"No offense," Carter said, "but I'm glad I don't have to deal with that."
Ava came back a few minutes later and immediately curled into Jessica's side, where she drifted off in a matter of minutes. Jessica kept her voice low as she continued to speak with the others, until Carter followed Ava into sleep.
"Are you okay?" Jessica asked softly, as she realized Zyan was struggling to get comfortable.
"Not really," he answered after a beat.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize. It's no one's fault."
Jessica nodded, though she knew Zyan couldn't see it.
"I remember her name," he said. "It's the only thing I could never forget."
For a long moment, Jessica didn't know what to say. "Why did you lie?"
"I don't want anyone to know. It's the only piece of her not muddled by time. Everything else could be tainted by false memories, but this…this is the one thing I know to be true. I carry it with me wherever I go. Sharing it would feel like giving it away."
Jessica kept staring into the darkness, barely capable of making out the silhouettes against their even-darker surroundings. "I'm sure you were a great brother to her."
"I hope so."
Sleep soon overtook her, and she could only hope Zyan found some peace in his dreams as well.