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I woke up with a raging migraine and the urge to puke up my entire digestive system. After groaning in bed for like an hour, I finally realized I was not going to hurl. Which was even worse. I’d rather just puke and get it over with.
George guessed it was somewhat safe to approach me, and told me my dad had already left for college. I was super relieved. I know the day was coming – and it was probably later today – that we’d chat about my talk with Tess. Obviously, I was going to lie about it, but I wasn’t sure if Tess would. I didn’t know how far doctor-patient confidentiality went. Would she have to tell him about the whole mom mess? I really didn’t know.
And I really didn’t want to be confronted by him over it.
Eh, it’s a problem for a few hours’ time.
‘Theo still here?’ I asked, after I’d changed into jeans and a sweater.
‘Yeah, he’s watching an old game with a couple beers.’
I checked the time on my cell. Yeah, it was still morning. Way to go, Theo.
‘Great, I’ll go join him.’
‘But you hate football,’ George frowned, instantly on the offense. He blocked the doorway with his arm. Did nothing, but you know. Nice try.
‘I know, but Theo is feeling really- okay, I won’t,’ I sighed, as he instantly laughed out loud. ‘I need to talk to him about my mom.’
‘Whoa, bad idea.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he’s dealing with his own crap right now? And he’s supposed to be here to relax and get back to his old self, not remember and worry about his old friend. And another thing, you said you were going to leave your mom until Izzy was dealt with?’
All valid points, but none that interested me.
‘Yeah, but as soon as Izzy disappears, I bet I’ll find another lucy. Or something else will crop up, and I’ll end up forgetting all about this. Again.’
He dithered, knowing I was right but still trying to find a way for me to be wrong.
‘Look, there is something weird about this,’ I said quietly. ‘There are no pictures of my mom anywhere, and I never hear about her. You and I both know that’s creepy. I can’t ask my dad about this. Theo’s the only one I can ask.’
‘But right now?’ he blurted out as I tried to walk through his arm. ‘He’s been stuck in a room for the past few years. Give him a few days or weeks to get back to normal. I mean, he has said that you have a gift. He believes you, Ann.’
Sure, for now. While it’s fresh in his mind and he’s experiencing a new lease of life. Give him a couple of weeks in the real world and he’ll forget what he feels now. It’s inevitable. It’s happened before.
Take New Years’ resolutions, for example. It’s the first of January, everybody’s super happy and looking forward to becoming a new person. Fast forward to the end of that month and those resolutions are nowhere to be seen. Why? We settle, I guess. As much as people want to change, it’s incredibly hard to actually do the deed. With the holiday season, it seems like anything is possible. Until we all go back to the old routines and we remember we don’t have the time or the inclination.
It’s the same with me and my “gift.” I solve a case, knowing things I’d never know, and the lucy’s family think I’m amazing. Suddenly, they have proof of another world or realm out there. The world is so much bigger than they imagined. And... then it’s not. They tell everybody who’ll listen about the girl who speaks to the dead, and nobody’ll believe them. They’ll scoff, or just smile sweetly. A couple weeks of that go by, and they’ll begin to think they imagined it. They’ll find excuses for me knowing things. Subconsciously, they begin to be wary of me. They drop contact with me and avoid me. They forget.
Story of my life.
Like I said, it’s happened before. And it’ll happen with Theo. I didn’t recall him being a believer in the paranormal. Hell, I wouldn’t have thought he’d succumb to a family curse, but there ya go. He’ll go back to his old ways eventually. And he’ll forget.
‘If I wait, I’ll lose my nerve. I have to do this now. Theo will be fine,’ I said.
Muttering about how this was going to be the worst thing ever, he nevertheless trudged after me as I headed toward the light.
The TV light, that was.
I found Theo relaxing on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and indeed, a beer in hand. He smiled at me either sleepily or drunkenly. Hey, maybe he’d get hammered and forget this conversation ever took place. That’d be great, especially considering I had no idea how to even start it.
‘It’s so weird being here with no Courtney,’ he greeted me.
Alright, that was easy.
‘Really?’ I gently encouraged, perching on the sofa and grabbing a handful of popcorn.
‘Yeah. Once she and Shaun moved in here, she turned into the mom of the group. Us guys would sit around exactly like this, catching every game we could. Didn’t matter what game, we’d watch ’em all. We loved football. Cheered everyone and everything. We’d be tossing beer and snacks everywhere. She’d yell at us, but we’d only laugh. All in good spirits, of course.’
‘There were five of you, right?’
‘Mmhmm. Us, Barbie and Ken. Dream team. Had the best time in college and never wanted those times to end. And they didn’t, for a while. Until...’
Courtney ruined it. No, wait, I can’t blame her.
‘Until what?’ I asked innocently.
Theo gave me a bleary-eyed look.
‘Well, Courtney. She’d always wanted a kid and husband, the whole nuclear family thing. Her parents had had it, and she’d thought it was perfect. Of course, her dad cheated on her mom and they’d gotten a divorce as soon as Courtney was an adult, but it didn’t stop her. Maybe that’s why she wanted a family of her own so much, to get away from all that. But, as soon as she got it, she realized it was much harder than she’d anticipated.’
‘How so?’ I asked. Theo finished his beer and I quickly noticed a half-empty six-pack on the floor. Swiftly, I handed him another. He seemed surprised by its appearance. I assumed he hadn’t drank much in the past few years.
‘Well, no marriage is ever perfect, in spite of what it looks like,’ he told me seriously. I nodded just as seriously back. ‘Courtney and Shaun loved each other, but there were arguments. She wanted to be a homemaker, and Shaun was fine with that; it only meant he had to work long hours. She didn’t like that. All us guys had jobs, and everyone else we went to college with. Her parents were living on opposite sides of the country with Courtney in the middle. She got bored, basically. Started to resent Shaun being away all the time. It was starting to become a real issue. Then, she got pregnant.’
Theo drank nearly half the can in one fell swoop. My impending arrival didn’t appear to be a happy occasion. Nice to see that I was ruining lives before I was even born. That is some achievement. I’m actually glad I kept on doing that through my entire life. Apparently, it’s what I was made for.
‘Courtney was ecstatic. Shaun was too, especially for her. He was hoping that a baby would stop the arguments and keep them from breaking apart.’
‘I’d say that’s the best reason to have a child,’ George deadpanned.
‘But a baby ain’t glue,’ Theo said, accidentally in agreement. ‘Kinda made things worse. Babies are difficult. They cry, they poop, they scream so loud the whole street can hear them. Sure, they’re sweet little critters most of the time, but still hard work. Courtney wanted perfection, which meant a baby that would sleep on time, and nurse properly, and would never cry. She bought a million and one cute outfits, and the prettiest strollers. She had dreams of dressing you up and showing off. I don’t think she actually wanted a kid. I think she wanted a doll.’
Well, she wouldn’t be the first parent in the world to show everybody what she’d made. It was bizarre hearing about this, and not altogether pleasant. I guess everybody has hopes of being planned for and loved. It’s not great knowing that you were only here to plug an argument, and you even failed at that.
But, Theo was on a roll. As I spotted an empty six-pack ring next to the other cans, I realized he was not going to shut up any time soon.
‘Courtney needed Shaun’s help then more than ever before. But you came at the worst possible time,’ he said conversationally. Good to know. ‘Shaun’s team had started winning games for the first time in a long time. They were winning trophies and medals all over the place. People were baying for his blood. They suspected drugs. He was under investigation, I believe.’
Okay, this was the first I’d heard of any of this. All I’ve heard about my dad is that he’s a really good coach. I know his team’s been top of the league for as long as I can remember. I haven’t heard a whiff of a scandal.
Which, in my experience, usually means a hush-up.
‘Did they find anything?’ I asked quickly, before Theo drifted back into the game.
‘I don’t really know,’ he shrugged, spilling beer down his shirt. ‘This was around the time that Courtney left. There was a lot going on. We were trying to comfort him and babysit you, and then you started seeing ghosts and freaked us all out. Bearing in mind, we were all over the country by this point, doing our own thing. We wanted to support y’all, but y’all were getting crazier, and we had our own crazy to deal with. Sad to say, but sometimes you gotta take a step back, you know? For your own sanity.’
This, coming from the guy who had willingly chosen to lock himself away because of something his ancestor had done. Man, how crazy was my family?
Wait, I see ghosts. There’s my answer.
‘Did you ever hear from her?’
‘Who, Courtney?’ he belched. Reeling back, I nodded. ‘Naw. My guess is she left the country. Drew a line under her old life after realizing it’d never be the perfect life she’d hoped for. I reckon she joined a convent.’
‘A convent?’ I spluttered. Did they still have those?
‘Yup. Think about it, Bree. All she ever wanted was perfection. What else is perfect but pure simplicity?’
Um, well, he’d got me there.
‘So, you think that’s why she left? Because her life wasn’t perfect?’
‘I do, indeed,’ he nodded, yawning. His eyes began to droop. ‘I think the challenge of motherhood became too big for her. She did what she always did when faced with difficulty: she left. She left college, she left her job, and she left you.’
And became a nun, if his alcohol-fueled rambling was anything to go by. He immediately started snoring, letting the rest of the can dribble over his clothes. I left him to it.
Hey, just like my mom.
‘What do you think?’ George frowned, looking back at our new lodger.
‘I think my family’s more messed up than I realized,’ I told him truthfully. ‘Drug scandal, my mom being a perfectionist. I don’t know. I don’t know if I actually learned anything there, other than my mom definitely leaving when I was six. Which still begs the question, why don’t I remember her?’
I started to agree with George. Maybe I should’ve left this conversation until Theo had regained his sanity.