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Zainab had finally stopped crying. She’d actually taken so long that I’d had time to go grab the earlier advertised snacks. I’d pushed a bag of Skittles in front of her, and the tears had dried as the bag had gotten lighter. A few sips of soda later, and she was ready to talk.
Thankfully, so was Leesha.
‘I’m sorry I lied,’ she mumbled, crossing her legs tightly and shrinking a little. We’d wordlessly decided to sit in a circle on my floor, with the Skittles and other food in the middle of the summoning ritual. I hoped my dad didn’t come in.
‘David didn’t kill you.’
‘No, he didn’t.’
Great. It was one thing suspecting something, but to have it confirmed is totally different.
Zainab looked up at me and gulped.
‘Where is she?’
‘On your left,’ I said. Leesha gave her a small smile.
‘Was it her mom? Was it your mom?’ she asked, bravely talking to nothing.
‘It’s complicated,’ Leesha said.
I repeated it for Zainab’s benefit. She growled.
‘Stop protecting her. She never cared about you, Leesha. She never listened to you. She didn’t care about what you wanted. She was forcing you to study medicine, remember?’
‘She was doing what’s best for me,’ Leesha mumbled. It sounded like she’d said that to herself so much, she almost believed it. Since I was going to be a literal medium here for the time being, I opted to simply speak as Leesha, word for word.
Zainab’s fury grew.
‘No, she wasn’t! She was doing what’s best for her, and you know it. She wanted you to become a doctor so she could look good.’
‘She wanted me to have the best start in life,’ Leesha said, her voice growing shakier by the minute.
‘She wanted me to have the best-’
‘Stop saying that!’ Zainab screeched. All three of us flinched.
‘She was my mom!’ Leesha screamed back.
‘She was my mom!’ I shrugged, screaming too. Why should everyone else have the fun?
‘And she hated you!’
Leesha did that thing that lucies do when they’re upset and can’t cry. They make a weird heavy breathing noise, like they’re trying to do the action but nothing’s coming. Sounds like you’re trying to go 95 in first gear.
Freaks me the hell out.
‘What’s happening?’ Zainab asked quietly, unnerved.
‘She’s wheezing,’ I replied, describing it the best I can.
‘Huh?’
‘They can’t cry.’
Heartbroken for her friend, she reached out an arm to comfort her before remembering she wasn’t actually physically there. Embarrassed, she let her arm flop back harmlessly to the ground, hoping nobody saw.
But we all did.
‘Leesh, listen to me. She didn’t want what was best for you. You don’t need me to tell you that. You already know.’
‘She was my mom,’ Leesha said.
‘Was,’ I emphasized.
She looked up at me and glared.
‘She loved me.’
‘No, she hated you. You just didn’t know it then.’
She wheezed again. That was getting old.
‘I know you’re going through a lot here, but the longer you leave it, the worse it’ll be,’ I told her bluntly. ‘You’re here, as a ghost, because you want something. I’m assuming it’s to do with your mom. I’m guessing you want her to pay.’
‘No, I can’t do that. I can’t.’
‘Then, why tell me about Mr. Samuels?’ I asked. ‘You could’ve made me look like an idiot in front of Zainab and talked to me afterward, but you didn’t. Why?’
‘She was my mom!’
‘She gave birth to you, we get it. It doesn’t mean she loves you. She is out there right now, crying crocodile tears and mourning somebody who never actually existed. Zainab is here, talking to thin air even though she hates my guts, because she cares. She loves you.’
It was hard, but I think my words eventually got through to her. She nodded, finally stopping that godforsaken sound.
‘I don’t hate your guts,’ Zainab mumbled, before adding, ‘not anymore.’
Gee, thanks.
‘Great. Leesha? You ready to talk now?’
‘Yeah. I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s alright. It’s difficult. When you were describing how “David” killed you, were you talking about your mom?’
‘Yes.’
Finally, an actual, bona fide admission. We were getting somewhere, at long last.
‘What happened that night?’
She reached out for the chips in the middle before correcting herself, frowning.
‘I’d told her I was at a study group. She didn’t approve of me dating.’
‘Girls, or just in general?’
‘In general,’ she sighed. ‘She didn’t know then.’
Ah.
‘Anyway, she found out that I was at Leo’s instead. She’d put a tracker app on my cell. I have like, a million apps so I didn’t even notice it. She came charging in, all guns blazing, and sees me having a drink with a friend. Then, she sees that we’re holding hands.’
She screwed her eyes closed and gulped as I gave a quick rundown to Zainab. It seemed about what she’d expected.
‘It was the final straw, for her and me. She started yelling at me and trying to drag me out, calling me everything. Andy was trying to help me, and then she started in on her, too. Calling her the same things. Spitting at her. That was the first time I actually realized that she never treated me like a daughter. She treated me like she treated everyone else. Like crap. I blew up in her face. I told her she was a terrible mother. I said other things but I forget what. I just remember screaming. I apologized to Andy, and then ran out of there. My mom ran after me. I was planning on going home, grabbing a bag and heading to yours,’ she said to Zainab. ‘I just never got there in time.’
Heavy stuff. Yikes, her mom was a bigger bitch than I’d thought. I told Zainab the gist, and she started crying again at that last part.
‘She killed you for being gay?’
‘Yeah. She walked away from my body like it was trash and went home to watch TV.’
Mom of the year. That was one coldhearted woman. If she could kill her own kid without flinching, and then act so upset over it that the cops didn’t question her, then my job just got a whole lot harder. My usual tactic of being annoying probably wouldn’t work here. I was going to need that one thing that eluded me more than a healthy lifestyle.
Evidence.
‘I’m so sorry, Leesha. This should never have happened,’ Zainab sobbed. Yeah, yeah. Save it for another time, sister. We got a killer to catch.
‘Okay, I need to get in touch with Andy,’ I said, reaching for my notebook. ‘How do I do that?’
‘I don’t know,’ Leesha shrugged lamely.
‘What’s her last name?’
‘I don’t know,’ she repeated.
‘You don’t know Andy’s last name?’ I frowned. Even Zainab thought that was weird.
‘No, I didn’t get a chance to ask. I only met her two days earlier. It was our first date.’
Still a better first date than any I’ve ever had. Mainly because they’re nonexistent. Pretty sure that when I have my first date, it would somehow end even worse than Leesha’s. Maybe in my date’s murder.
Yeah, that seems depressingly probable.
‘I’m guessing you had her number, though?’
‘Yeah, and the cops took my cell.’
‘Do you have an eidetic memory?’
‘What do you think?’
Um, nope?
‘Do you have her on Facebook, Twitter or Insta? Do you know where she works? Did she mention any identifiable things at all?’ I listed, growing more and more hopeless as she shook her head to each one.
‘I’m sorry, I know nothing.’
‘How did you even meet her?’ I asked, exasperated.
‘At a party,’ Zainab answered, startling me. ‘One of the guys in my class was turning twenty one. He was pretty rich, like you, and he was friendly with a lot of people. He invited my whole class to his party, along with all his old school friends and fencing friends and riding friends- lot of people, basically. Over two hundred, definitely. I didn’t really want to go on my own, so I invited Leesha. I think a lot of people did a similar thing.’
Which meant a loud, confusing atmosphere with friends of friends mixing and mingling, nobody really knowing who anyone was. Perfect.
I was beginning to think that Andy didn’t want to be found.
No, come on, Mendes. Stop being so blue.
‘Would you be able to ask around your buddies to see who knows her?’ I instructed Zainab.
‘I guess, but I don’t even know what she looks like.’
‘Leesha?’
She looked me up and down, frowning.
‘Kinda like you, actually. If you, um...’
‘If I what?’ I asked a little sharply.
‘Wear makeup, dress like a girl. You know, feminize,’ she shrugged halfheartedly.
Feminize? What the hell did that even mean?
As George snickered, I looked down at my yoga pants, which admittedly, weren’t a great improvement over sweatpants. I was also wearing a shapeless hoody and I wasn’t completely certain that I’d washed my hair with shampoo recently.
Okay, I got what she meant.
‘What have I missed?’ Zainab asked.
‘She said she looks a little like me, if I was girly,’ I scoffed, only semi-offended. Hey, truth hurts. I’ve said it myself plenty of times.
Zainab looked at my face and did not have an overly positive reaction, if I’m honest. We were both thinking the same thing.
Leesha had really poor taste.