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George decided that I was being an ass, and he was going to give me some alone time. Before I could say no, he’d already waltzed away through multiple walls and I didn’t have a chance in hell of finding him. Gotta say, it was definitely unnerving not having him at my side. I felt totally wrong. In a moment of madness, I asked Zainab if she wanted to meet up. Weirdly, she’d agreed. She’d chosen a snooty, fancy café that charged an extra ten bucks on every coffee. I don’t even know what I ordered and it tasted like crap, but it came in an Instagrammable mug, so whatevs. I waited for her to finish taking pictures before we caught up.
‘So, I had a productive day,’ she greeted, sipping and grimacing at her sugary cream.
‘Me too, surprisingly. I solved a cold case murder.’
She choked on her coffee.
‘Oh, wow. Okay, I was being sarcastic. I called in sick and watched Netflix while I spoke to everyone I knew at the party. Pretty sure they all think I’m gay now. What murder?’
‘A woman who was strangled a while back. I thought that David might’ve killed her.’
‘But he didn’t even kill Leesha,’ she frowned.
‘Well, I know that now. Didn’t know it when I first found out about her.’
‘Right.’
‘So, did you find Andy?’ I asked, changing the subject so I didn’t look weird.
‘No, haven’t heard a peep. People are asking around for me, but I’m not sure anybody even knows her. There were a lot of friends of friends of acquaintances there that night. I’m positive people just randomly turned up off the street, too. I don’t even know what Andy’s short for,’ she stressed. ‘I didn’t actually meet her. For all I know, she was in the closet too and gave a fake name. Does Leesha know?’
‘I don’t know, she didn’t mention it.’
‘Can you ask her?’
‘Sure,’ I replied. She looked at me. ‘Now?’
‘Well, yeah,’ she said, as though it was obvious.
‘She’s not here,’ I told her. Without any company from the spirit world, I felt fake, in a way. Not helped by the fact that Zainab was currently giving me a cynical look.
Also not helping, her milk moustache.
‘Do you have to summon her or something?’ she asked doubtfully.
‘I can shout her name really loudly, but if she doesn’t hear me then I’m screwed.’
‘Do you need a quiet area or...’
‘I’m gonna stop you there, okay? I don’t do any of that. They just turn up whenever they want. No séances, no Ouija board. Nothing.’
She nodded, so maybe she’d gotten it and we could move on.
‘So, how do you get her to turn up?’
Or not. Alright, let’s do a quick exercise. Imagine a medium. Or a psychic, whatever you want to call them. What do you see? Crystal balls, bad makeup, a lot of overpowering incense. Maybe they have a lot of cheap jewelry on and a terrible fashion sense. They speak in disconnected words and sentences. They are fakes.
And here’s a real one who doesn’t do any of that and suddenly I’m the fake. It’s like people need all that faux-arcane crap to make them feel better. You’d think the fact that I don’t do that would make me more credible, wouldn’t you? Or maybe you’re disappointed that I don’t, I don’t know.
‘I don’t. She’ll come by later. She’s seeing her mom right now,’ I explained, eating the “free” cookie with my $15 coffee to avoid grinding my teeth.
‘How do you know that?’
‘Because she told me last night. She is here, okay? Permanently here until she goes away forever. She’s just not here here,’ I emphasized, pointing at the ground.
She blinked a couple times and slowly sipped her coffee. I had no idea how to explain this. I hated explaining lucies at the best of times, but recently George has helped me out. It’s too infuriating. People have a preconceived notion of what I should be acting like (see above) and since I don’t act like that, it takes a lot of convincing. And even then they still won’t really believe me, so what was the point of even trying?
But good old George is a go-getter. He is convinced that the next person I tell will believe me. And then if they don’t, the next one will. Why? Because of the magical reason that I am telling the truth. Ah, sparkly. And as we all know, the truth is our friend and will see us through the dark times like the shining beacon of light it is.
That is, if you’re four. If you’re a little older than that, then you’ll have realized that everyone’s a lying jackass and we’re all out for our own gain. Merry Christmas, one and all.
If he was here now, he’d be telling me the perfect words to use so she’d be on my side. Since he wasn’t, all I wanted to do was yell at her and maybe kick her stupid shins. Alright, I knew violence was never a convincing argument, but it made me feel better. George had been trying to stop me from getting angry so often, but it was only half-working.
Ugh, I’d been without him for an hour and already I was missing him. Though I would rather die than admit it to his face, just saying. But I am an asshole, alright? I admit that. I don’t like people, and I don’t want to speak to them. Ever. George brings me out of that black hole. I can see that now. He teaches me humanity in his own special way. I needed him to keep on doing that, so I wouldn’t automatically piss everyone off.
Oh my God, I needed him.
I hadn’t realized that before. What’s the saying, you don’t truly miss something till it’s gone? Well, I was surely feeling that. What if George decided that he was bored of helping me and he wanted to leave? Forever leave, as in stop being a lucy. What would I do? Where would it leave me?
Well, here’s a taster.
‘Why are you staring at me like that? I just said I didn’t get it,’ Zainab frowned, giving me a crazy look. I’d weirded her out. By sitting here and thinking. I already knew I did that, but with George by my side it was easier to weather. I’d grown so used to him now that I felt crazy without having a ghost chatter away at me.
Oh God, I so needed him.
Okay, focus. If he was here now, what he would he be saying? What would he be telling me to do?
‘Why don’t you ask her about herself? It’s not all about you, Ann.’
Yeah, that sounds like something he’d say. And sound advice, too. People are narcissists, after all.
‘Sorry, I was trying to find Leesha. No dice. So, what type of lawyer do you want to be?’ I asked, smoothly changing the subject.
‘Type?’
‘Yeah, like human rights, prosecutor. That sort of thing.’
‘Oh. Defense attorney. That’s the aim, anyway.’
Huh. I was not expecting that. To admit that you want to defend criminals is quite something.
‘Is that because you went to juvie?’
‘No. That actually has nothing to do with it.’
‘So, why-’
‘Why are you asking?’ she interrupted, growing irate. ‘We’re not friends, this isn’t a date. We’re here to help Leesha, that’s all.’
Wow. That’s what I get for trying to be civil and show interest in people. Whatever. Screw them all.
‘Fine, I’ll be in touch,’ I snapped, getting up to leave.
‘Wait,’ she sighed, apologizing. I sat back down. ‘It’s a sore subject, is all.’
‘Fine. I get it. Have you heard anything about Leesha’s mom?’ I asked, thinking of the only other thing I could ask.
She shook her head.
‘Okay, so we have nothing else to talk about. I’ll be in touch,’ I said again, acting out a little déjà vu.
‘Wait,’ she said again, playing her part to a tee.
‘What?’
‘You really want to know?’
Sure, why not. It’s not like I had anything better to do today.
‘Yes.’
I regretted saying that when she started nervously tearing at her napkin.
‘My uncle was the sweetest guy I ever met,’ she said quietly. Buckle up, folks, we got a tearjerker. ‘He always brought me candy whenever he visited, and he’d tell stories to me and the other kids on his block. He always had a smile on his face. A couple years ago, he backed out of his driveway and hit two kids playing soccer. They didn’t make it.’
Boom, dead kids. Kinda puts a dampener on a good story.
‘In the trial, they painted him out to be a monster,’ she continued, staring into space. ‘A predator, basically. Suddenly, everybody came out with stories that their kids had complained about him. All lies, obviously, but the jury didn’t see that. Neither did my family. I was the only one who still remembered him as my sweet uncle. I was the only one who visited him. He was nothing more than a husk. His attorney, though, was amazing. She tried to show that it was a simple mistake and it could’ve happened to anyone, but the damage by the prosecution was done. He was sentenced for two counts of manslaughter. He’s served six months of a 10-year stretch.’
I said nothing for a while. I mean, really, what the hell was I supposed to say? I’m sorry your uncle killed two kids? I’m sorry we live in an environment where we believe everything we’re told? I’m sorry that your uncle lost his life due to an unfortunate accident?
In the end, I opted for a simple comment that pretty much summed it up.
‘People suck.’
‘Yeah, they do,’ she nodded at me, and we shared a smile.
Whoa, did we just bond? Did we have a moment? Is this how friendships are made? Okay, let’s not panic. I’ve had moments like this in the past, and I’ve immediately ruined all progress. That was bound to happen again.
But it didn’t, surprisingly. We talked a little more of her uncle, and then started talking about other stuff. We bought more coffees and made plans to see each other again soon. The intention was to talk about Leesha, but she wasn’t mentioned. It was just two friends, catching up and enjoying the other’s company.
Maybe I didn’t need George after all. I could do this by myself. With Ally MIA, I needed a new lawyer friend on my side, anyway. Zainab could be that person. She already knew what I could do, and she was ready to support the not-so-innocent. I was certain we’d be seeing each other after Leesha’s case was sorted.
Yeah, I was convinced. I didn’t need George. I could do this without him.