Thoughts of Death
Fighter pilots had to live with their own thoughts of death. Most, such as Squadron Leader Peter Townsend, were able to keep such thoughts at a distance:
Some of us would die within the next few days. That was inevitable. But you did not believe that it would be you. Death was always present, and we knew it for what it was. If we had to die, we would be alone, smashed to pieces, burnt alive, or drowned. Some strange, protecting veil kept the nightmare thought from our minds, as did the loss of our friends. Their disappearance struck us as less a solid blow than a dark shadow which chilled our hearts and passed on.35
As a religious skeptic during wartime, my thought process was similar to this. In moments of panic, I prayed to God, even though I didn’t know him and didn’t really expect an answer. When the crisis of the moment was over, I never gave him credit for the result. During the lulls in action I fought off the same dark realizations expressed by this British pilot. A lonely death could come at any time. I had a good enough imagination to know that it could happen to me. Still, I tried not to dwell on that fact.
When you only expect a void after death, the best you can do is to avoid thinking about it. What amazing peace is available to us in any crisis when we are confident in our relationship with God and in the knowledge of where we are ultimately going. The apostle Paul gave us the classic statement of reassurance:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
—Romans 8:38–39