Chapter 18

 

"That was not what I expected," Vance told me as we walked through his father's garden. "I was expecting you to shoot me or hit me, not kiss me."

"So was Hester. You deserve it, after spreading rumors about me."

"That was their own interpretation, I only said you weren't feeling well. I didn't think you wanted me to tell them the truth and I had to tell them something."

"Then why didn't you tell them I was upset with you for announcing our engagement before you'd even asked me?"

"I did ask you. Don't you remember?"

I stopped and stared at him.

"On the yacht." He reached out one hand and ran it gently down my cheek. "I can't get over how different you look."

"Oh, yes, of course. I must have been on meds or something. I vaguely remember you asking me something. I thought it involved a drink, not marriage." I turned away from him, staring down at the hungry fish. Careful, I told myself. Play the game. Do what you have to do. You can kick him in the shins later.

"Then you aren't angry with me?"

"Are you blind and deaf and stupid? Of course I'm angry with you. You've left me alone here, with only Hester and Olin to keep me company." I smiled, innocently. He gaped, his mouth working just like one of the fish in the pond. "Your father is charming, Vance. Why did you feel you had to keep it such a secret from me, that your father was the Speaker?"

"I honestly thought you knew, that you didn't care. You were the first woman I'd ever met who didn't look at me and see political connections. Can you blame me for falling in love with you? You saw me as me, my own person."

"And what did you see me as, Vance? Gullible?"

"Never. Strong, smart, tough. I keep remembering that time you faced down the Sessimoniss leader. He could have killed you with one hand and you kept shouting in his face, pushing him until he did exactly what you wanted him to do. You are the woman I was looking for."

That was almost what Tayvis had told me, right before he admitted he loved me the first time. I had to look away, hide the feelings deep. I had to trust Leighton to find Tayvis for me and make him understand that this was a game. I had to know if Tayvis still loved me, if he still wanted me. Vance wouldn't be a bad second choice, an insidious little whisper in my head told me. I squashed it. I didn't want to think that way. I didn't want to ever take his proposal seriously. This was not the life I wanted. I was not going to spend three hours on my hair and face every day for the rest of my life.

"Dace?" The way he said my name sent shivers up my back. "Where did you go? You looked like you were light years away."

"Memories," I said and tried to smile.

"You can forget them now." He wrapped his arm around me.

We must have looked like the poster for a couple in love. I leaned on him and pretended he was Tayvis. Appearances were what mattered now. I watched the fish nose around for food.

I jumped when someone cleared his throat behind us. Time had passed while we stood there. I glanced behind me.

"Father," Vance said stiffly.

"Speaker Shiropi," I said warmly. I did like him.

His gaze swept over both of us, taking in my change in appearance and Vance's arm still around my waist. There was the faintest question in his eyes when he met mine. I smiled and pretended everything was fine. He switched his gaze to Vance.

"Hester informs me that you are escorting Dace to the gathering tonight." Iniuri's voice was flat, almost an accusation.

"Only if she agrees," Vance said.

Iniuri looked at me. His eyes told me that if I said no to Vance, he'd be happy to enforce it. He guessed more than I wanted him to, but he was also on my side. I trusted him.

"I would be happy to go with him," I said.

The game was on. The opening moves were made. Iniuri bowed his head.

"Please be more considerate of her this time," he told his son. "Rumor has a way of turning ugly when circumstances go unexplained." He looked back at me. "It has been my pleasure to have you as my guest. Please feel free to stay as long as you like." He gave Vance a warning glance before he turned and left.

"Well, that was pleasant," Vance said.

"Why is he angry with you? This isn't just about me."

"No, he likes you." He looked at me as if it were a disease I'd contracted. "He feels he has to protect you from me now."

"Are you that dangerous?"

I surprised him into a laugh. "Not to you, Dace. Never to you." There was a serious undertone to the words, a reassurance and a warning. Levels on levels.

"What is this gathering tonight?" I said, moving away from dangerous and deep topics.

"Some retirement party for a government official. Deadly dull. Even the food will be bland. But I'm required to attend. One of my new duties." He took my arm, walking me slowly back towards the house. "The Council confirmed me as the next Speaker, when my father chooses to retire, of course."

"How does that work?" I was curious. I had no idea how such things were passed on to the next person.

"They nominate a Second Speaker when the Speaker is confirmed, the whole Council votes on it," he talked as we walked. "It's usually an appointment for life. They assume the Second will take the place of the Speaker when he chooses to step down or is forced into it by a vote of the Council."

"It isn't hereditary? Hasn't your family been the Speaker for hundreds of years?"

"Off and on. Not always. The Second Speaker, named when my father assumed the position, was Roderick, the Emperor's cousin. I assume I don't need to explain to you why he is no longer Second Speaker."

Roderick was the man who framed me and Lowell and my whole crew for treason to cover up his own plotting. It didn't make sense to me, especially now.

"Why would Roderick plot against the Emperor when he knew he was going to be named Speaker eventually? What would he gain from plotting treason?"

"Who knows?" Vance shrugged.

My mind kept going on that line. What would Vance have to gain by being involved in a conspiracy? I studied him out of the corner of my eye as we walked. He seemed tense, weighed down by something. He caught my glance and smiled wryly.

"Sorry, I'm a bit depressed about the whole thing. I was hoping to land a minor post somewhere where I could just relax and enjoy the rest of my life. I never wanted to be Speaker."

"You'd rather be ambassador to the Sessimoniss?" I said, smiling teasingly at him. "Because if they'd given that post to you, I would never marry you."

"But why?" he teased back. "You already speak the language. And being married to their high priestess is sure to be a good influence on them."

I made a rude noise.

"It's nice to know the change is only skin deep. I was worried there for a while."

"Be nice, Vance, or I'll change my mind about breaking your face." I smiled sweetly at him. We stopped beside the door to the house.

"You are definitely going to be good for me."

"And how is that?" I asked, raising one eyebrow.

He laughed and smoothed his finger over it. "You'll keep me laughing. I never quite know what you're going to say or do next."

"Doesn't it worry you that I might offend the sensibilities of your friends?"

"My friends? No. Max approves of you. It's the rest of society that might find you hard to take. And that is their problem, never mine."

"Good," I said.

Hester was inside, holding a wrap for me. She pretended not to watch us too openly. I stepped towards Vance and kissed him again. Let her start the rumors about us. I had to pretend and I might as well get used to it. Vance kissed me back.

"You'll have to control yourself tonight," he said. "Such displays will give the old women heart attacks. And the men will all die of jealousy."

"And the gossips will talk. I'd almost rather live on Serrimonia. Almost."

He took my wrap from Hester and put it around my shoulders. His hands lingered until I stepped away.

The flitter waited for us in front of the mansion. The air was alive with lights and flitters and glittering displays of windows in the buildings all around us. I took a deep breath. Freedom, I told myself. Pretend you're flying. And smile.

Vance handed me into the flitter. I settled into the plush seat. He took the one next to me and gave the flitter our destination. The flitter lifted from the ground. We slipped into a stream of vehicles gliding high over the city. I sat back and looked out the window.

"We could arrive fashionably late instead of on time," Vance said as we rounded a trio of needle shaped towers. "The gardens are open until midnight."

"And disappoint your host? Not to mention fueling the gossip factory."

He reached for my hand and squeezed it. There was a message in his offer. I wasn't ready to trust him yet.

"You're right. We should arrive on time. We can always leave early."

"And you can take me straight back to your father's house. You can escort me through the gardens tomorrow. I'm sure Hester would agree to chaperone us." I sent him my own message. I didn't want to be alone with him unless I couldn't avoid it, not somewhere where we weren't being monitored by someone. I was sure we'd never been out of Hester's and Olin's sight the entire time we were together in his father's garden.

"You aren't the same person who agreed to sneak out of the hospital with me. We were alone on the yacht and you didn't seem to mind."

"I've been educated on propriety since then." I turned my head away, looking out the window.

He let go of my hand, turning to his own window. We flew for a while in silence, moving farther and farther out over the neverending city.

"I'm sorry, Dace, if the rumors hurt you. That was never my intention."

"What was your intention, Vance? To hurt Tayvis? To drive him away? To prove you could win whatever contest you imagined you had with him? You won, Vance. Let it go."

"Ouch," he muttered.

"What game were you playing at the party?" I asked, too angry now to stop. "It was partly your fault I ended up at your father's house unconscious for almost a week."

He opened his mouth to give me an excuse, I read it in his face.

"Don't try to apologize or say you didn't know. You knew what shape I was in and you insisted on dragging me to the party anyway. And then you dug your fingers in, knowing it would hurt enough that I couldn't do anything to stop you. Tayvis is gone, no one knows where he went. So by default, you win."

"Right now I don't think I've won anything."

"Don't push me," I warned him. "Give me time, Vance. I'll pretend for now, for your sake." I turned away, to stare out at Linas-Drias, fabled capital of the Empire. I would have traded it all for the familiar view of any frontier planet, a sprinkle of lights and lots of darkness, not this undulating light show that carpeted the entire planet.

The silence in the flitter was thick, heavy and oppressive. I leaned my head against the window, welcoming the coolness of it. I concentrated on letting the anger go, burying it deep, so I could pretend convincingly.

"I did what I had to," I thought I heard Vance whisper sometime later.

I blinked my way out of a doze to glance over at him. He was looking down at the city below us. I must have imagined it.

"How far is it?" I asked.

"Another twenty minutes," he said without looking at me. "We've come almost halfway across the northern continent."

It was full night outside and had been for some time. I looked back out at the twinkling lights and soaring buildings. I looked up, but I couldn't see stars. The lights around us were too many, too bright. I sat back, leaning into the cushioned seat, and closed my eyes.

I was dozing again when the flitter began to spiral down. I sat up, carefully rubbing sleep away. I didn't want to smudge the unfamiliar makeup on my face. The flitter touched down on the top of a tall building, more than a mile above the surface of the planet. I patted my hair to see if it was still where it belonged. Vance brushed my hand out of the way and tucked a strand of hair back into the roll. His face was distant, as if he were across the planet and not in the same flitter with me.

"You look perfect," he said. It sounded like an accusation, as if I'd morphed into something without asking him first, as if perfection were bad.

"I can run my fingers through it and make it stand up if that's any better."

He smiled, this time it touched his eyes. But there was sadness and some other emotion I couldn't quite place. "You'd really make an entrance then." He smoothed my hair back. "Save it for an even stuffier function. I'm sure there will be plenty of them."

He got out of the flitter, opening the door for me and helping me out. He tucked my hand through his elbow and squeezed it.

"You'll be fine," he said as we approached the entrance.

A man stood there, dressed in what could only be considered a uniform, but not military. This was even more creased and starched and fussy. He stared down his nose at us as if we didn't measure up to his exacting standards. He bowed to Vance and then to me before turning to the open door.

"The Second Speaker, Vance Shiropi, and his betrothed, Admiral Dace of the Enforcers, retired," he announced.

The murmur of voices from inside the room hushed. Strains of music wafted out, the quiet undertone to the gathering. Vance tugged my arm. We walked forward into the room. I smiled until my face hurt, trying to match the gracious haughtiness of the other women. I remembered the look on Dariana Grace's face as she played the Emperor's daughter in Satin and Steel. She had managed to convey a look of superiority and haughtiness that made the other women look conniving and arrogant in comparison. I did my best to match her face and manner. Within moments, most of the women in the room were swarming around us, congratulating me with smug, knowing smirks. They were looking for tidbits to feed the rumor mill. I kept my smile bland and aloof and gave them as little as possible.

Vance excused himself and crossed the room to join a boisterous group of men. They welcomed him with slaps on his shoulder and loud comments on both his appointment to Second Speaker and his engagement to me. I stood in the middle of the vicious women and entertained myself with thoughts of Vance being subjected to them instead of me. I would torture him later, I'd get my revenge on him somehow.

"And how are you feeling?" one of the women asked. She had to be twice my age, but her carefully sculpted face and body gave her the appearance of someone years younger. She smiled solicitously, but her eyes measured my waist greedily.

"I'm much better, thank you," I said blandly, deliberately misinterpreting her look.

"How many months along are you?" a woman closer to my age asked point blank.

"Pardon?" I stared her down, even though I had to look up to meet her eyes.

"It's common knowledge. The baby?" Her look said I was dense, stupid, and someone she would gladly change places with in an instant.

"What baby?" I said, baiting her.

"The one you're expecting."

"I'm afraid you're mistaken. There is no baby. Excuse me." They parted to let me through.

I went to the refreshment table and helped myself to a glass of pink sparkling liquid. One sip told me it had alcohol or something else in it. I didn't drink more. The food on the table was all exotic, things I didn't recognize. I nibbled, tasting those dishes that looked most enticing. Vance came to join me. The women watched, whispering to each other. I was one of only a handful of people actually eating.

"I see you're enjoying yourself," Vance said.

"I'd rather strip engine mounts," I said with a false smile.

He laughed, covering his mouth and pretending it was a cough. "Were they that vicious?"

"Yes. Can we go yet?"

"The guest of honor isn't here yet, so no, we can't."

I swore under my breath. Vance coughed again.

"Does anything exciting happen at these gatherings?" I asked.

"Other than vicious gossip and bad jokes, no. Sorry. Although there should be dancing later." He looked at me hopefully.

"Dancing? Me?" I shook my head. "I don't know how."

"It's easy. I can teach you." His look told me I'd better agree.

"You owe me for this, Vance." I said it through clenched teeth, still pretending to smile.

"More than you know," he whispered into my hair as a couple, elderly and oozing wealth, crossed the room towards us.

"Look at you, Vance," the woman crowed. "All grown up and getting married. Why, only yesterday you were barely bigger than a bun and getting into mischief." She must have been deaf, her voice carried clearly across the room.

"Lady Victoria," Vance greeted her. He let her pull him close and kiss his cheeks. "And Lord Baltimore, how are you, sir?" He shook hands with the man.

"Never better, son," Lord Baltimore boomed. He must have been as deaf as his wife. "This your bride?" He peered at me, scrutinizing me closely. "Heard you were an admiral. I expected someone much taller and older."

"Harrison, you mind your manners," Lady Victoria chided. "I think she's charming, Vance." She caught me in a powdery hug before I could avoid it.

"Glad you could make it tonight," Lord Baltimore boomed, shaking my hand. "Been a few stories about you. A bit under the weather, were you?"

"An old war wound," I said loud enough to carry across the room to the clot of women in their expensive dresses. I watched the gossip wriggle through them at my statement.

"War, now there's a bleeding shame," Harrison said. "Never thought I'd see the day. Never, in all my years of service."

"Harrison was a fleet admiral," Lady Victoria informed me. "Long before your time, I'm sure."

"Those upstart Federationalists should be punished," one of the men said.

Harrison turned to him. "Breaking the Empire apart, it's a crying shame," he agreed.

Other men chimed in with their opinion. I noticed the women stayed apart. Mostly they watched me.

"You're an admiral," a man about my age said. He held a mostly empty glass. He stared belligerently at me. "What's your opinion on this war with the so called Federation?"

Vance nudged my elbow, warning me to watch what I said.

"I wouldn't presume to speak in the presence of so much experience," I said smoothly. I nudged Vance back. I could tell when to keep my mouth shut.

"Where did you serve?" the man continued. "You're very young to be an admiral."

"Lester, leave her alone," Vance said with a bite to his voice.

"My last post was to Tivor," I said and smiled. "Excuse me a moment."

I ignored their stunned stares and whispers as I walked away, my back stiff. I asked the man pouring punch where the facilities were located. He directed me down a back hallway.

I found the small room and locked myself in. I stared at the stranger in the mirror and wondered how much more of this I would have to live through. I didn't see how this could possibly help me unearth a conspiracy against the Emperor. I closed my eyes and wished I were far away, on the Phoenix, where I could punch anyone who dared gossip about me.

But I wasn't there. I was on Linas-Drias. What strategy could I use to survive this? I couldn't fight it with fists or guns. I couldn't run away. I'd have to fight with words and rumors. I could shock them with stories. I could be something they didn't expect. Maybe in doing it I'd shake something loose, enough information so Leighton would give me Tayvis' location. And then I would be gone.

I splashed a little water on my face. My makeup was still perfect. My hair was beginning to escape its pins. Ringlets curled down my neck. I was tempted to pull out all the pins. Not yet. Save that for a future party. Tonight I'd swap stories with Lord Baltimore about the Patrol. And thoroughly shock the women.

A lot of women were in the Patrol, but not those of the upper crust, apparently. It didn't change who I was or what I'd done.

I brushed my dress straight and marched back out into battle.

By the time it was acceptable to dance, half the men were around me, swapping stories of the various Patrol Academies we'd attended. The women were trying to insinuate themselves into the conversation. I gave them a painfully tolerant smile when they tried and then told another story, cutting them out of the conversation. Vance stood at my elbow and smiled a lot.

The music and the lights changed, signaling the dancing. The women began to pair off with the men. Vance looked at me, holding out his hand in invitation.

"I'm rather tired," I said. I was, too. I'd been standing a long time. "Is it appropriate to leave now or do we have to stay?"

"Since our hosts are gone, we can leave. If you want."

I couldn't read his expression.

"I do want," I said.

He was trying not to smile. "Then we'll go." He helped me with my wrap, pulling it around my shoulders. He took my hand, tucking it through his elbow again. "And next time," he said, leaning in close, "you won't get out of the dancing so easily."

Out on the landing pad, the wind was light, pulling at my dress and hair. The night had cooled off considerably. I shivered. Vance slipped his arm around me.

"I think you made an unforgettable impression tonight," he said. "And one they were not expecting."

"Good," I said and yawned.

He opened the door of the flitter. I stepped in and settled into the seat. I was tired. My side ached. I rubbed it while Vance climbed in.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked.

"Not really," I answered.

He was quiet as the flitter lifted off. We rose up into the night sky, joining the unending line of flitters cruising the atmosphere.

"Did you really do all of that at the Academy?" he asked.

"Most of it was my roommate."

He laughed. "You'll have them talking for a month, at least."

"At least they aren't speculating about a baby anymore." I smiled in satisfaction at his wince. "Maybe I should tell them it's due in about eight months."

"Dace, I never meant them to think that about you," he protested.

"What did you think they'd say, Vance? We were alone together for who knows how long on the yacht. Then you announce we're getting married. I'm not anyone they know about so it must be something like that. I think it's noble of you, to try to save my reputation that way."

"There is no saving your reputation after your performance tonight." He grinned, but there was still an edge to him. "You aren't still mad at me?"

I just smiled. Let him squirm for a while. I snuggled back into the seat and closed my eyes.