Chapter 46

 

The night air of Ytirus was balmy, soft with the scent of ocean. The planet was terraformed and looked it. Strips of artificially shaped ocean wound between wide archipelagos of land. The climate stayed warm all year. Tall buildings lined the beaches.

Tayvis walked with his head down. Paltronis kept pace with him, waiting for him to say something. They walked across the complex near the port. Ships lifted and landed nearby, military ships with bright new paint covering the side where the Patrol logo used to be.

Tayvis walked down to a spreading stretch of beach. He stood where the waves curled gently up onto the sand, barely missing his boots.

"Why are you following me, Paltronis?" he asked at length. He looked out over the water, at the stretch of glittering lights across the stretch of ocean. He didn't look at her.

"Because I'm curious why you're out here. And I haven't seen you for a while."

"I came out here because I wanted time alone. Lowell doesn't need me at his meeting. I don't have any relevant information he hasn't already figured out."

"But you have other information?"

He finally glanced at her.

"Lowell will be interested to see if your guess matches up with his." Paltronis looked away this time. "He should be done briefing in about six hours. More if they have questions."

"It's that complicated?"

"No, it's that politically difficult. You can't imagine the contortions he's put himself through to get this together. Everett was ready to do it himself. Including the big guns."

Tayvis almost smiled at that.

"Everett is tired of seeing his friends get their ships shot up by pirates and confiscated by the Patrol," Paltronis said. "He's been nice enough to let Lowell believe he's in charge."

"Lowell would never be deceived about that."

"He's good at pretending when he needs to be."

They both watched the lights for a while, listening to the waves lap quietly around them. The beach was deserted. They were the only ones standing on the sand. It was more private than anywhere else Paltronis could think of going.

"What happened to Dace on Tivor?" Tayvis asked. He finally turned to face her. "You were there, with her. I know that much, but I haven't been able to find out anything else."

"Why didn't you ask her yourself? You were on Linas-Drias when Vance brought her to that party." It was a challenge. Paltronis hated seeing Tayvis punishing himself. She hated thinking what it was doing to Dace, that Tayvis had left her with Vance.

He shook his head. "She was smiling, Paltronis. She was happy when Vance announced their engagement. She wanted it."

"You're wrong, Tayvis."

He shook his head again. "I saw her face. If she didn't want it, why didn't she say something? Why didn't she try to contact me?"

"Probably because she couldn't find you. You're very good at disappearing when you want to."

He shut her out. She sensed his withdrawal from the conversation. She wasn't going to let him slide away so easily, though.

"She found out who she was on Tivor," she said, her voice harsh. "She's Hrissia'noru. Just like Lowell, only a lot more powerful. Or at least she was."

He turned to look at her, his face shadowed in the moonless night.

"She wasn't a zero on the scales," Paltronis explained. "She was shielding herself, in self-protection. She would have scored at least a fifteen, if not higher."

He didn't move, didn't say anything.

"When the Hrissia'noru finally showed up, they gave her a choice. She could go with them and be one of their greatest empathic telepaths ever, or she could give it all up to come back here. She chose to give it all up, because it would mean losing everything she ever cared about."

"When did Vance come into the picture?" His voice was hard and gave nothing away.

"She still thought you were dead. We all did, until we were off Tivor. Lowell promised to tell her as soon as she came out of the coma, but Vance got to her first."

"Coma?" That surprised him. It surprised Paltronis that he didn't know.

"She was shot. The Hrissia'noru saved her. They were the only ones who could." She couldn't help the bitterness in her voice. It was her fault Dace had been shot. She shook off the guilt. Tayvis deserved to know the whole truth, however painful. "She isn't the same person, Tayvis."

"That's obvious." He turned away, shutting her out again.

"Lowell sent Scholar to help her," Paltronis said.

"What? She needs help getting married?"

"Will you let it go and listen? She's working undercover, tracking down the conspiracy on Linas-Drias."

He shook his head. "She isn't that good at acting. She's marrying Vance. I saw them together."

"You can be so blind, Tayvis."

"You're the one who said she changed." He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. "She made her choice, Paltronis. The best thing I can do is stay out of her way."

"And protect yourself, even if means losing her permanently?"

"I've already lost." He sounded so forlorn Paltronis didn't know whether to slap him or hug him.

"I threatened to hurt her once, if she ever broke your heart."

"I know. I heard about it."

"You broke your own heart this time."

He winced. "You never did pull your punches, Paltronis."

"And you swore once that you'd never leave yourself vulnerable again." She shrugged. "We all change. Whether we want to or not. Give Dace a chance to explain."

"It's over, Paltronis. Let it go. She's gone."

She wanted to argue with him. She wanted to tell him that he was breaking her heart over it. She didn't know how. He would always belong to Dace, whether she belonged to him or not. Dace belonged here with him, not on Linas-Drias with Vance.

"Tayvis, she didn't know you were still alive."

"She knows, Paltronis. And she still chose Vance." He faced away from her, towards the restless waters. She almost didn't hear his last comment. "She's just like every other woman I've ever known."

Paltronis cocked her head to one side. "Including me?"

He turned back towards her, startled into actually looking at her.

"What is it you think all women are after?"

"It's easy to forget about you, Paltronis. I'm so used to seeing your uniform and weapons."

"Just like all the other men? You're so intimidated by me you overlook the fact that I'm still a woman." She folded her arms and glared. "So what is it you think women want? Why are you so sure Dace dumped you for Vance?"

He struggled to find words. She grabbed his sleeve and pulled him around, refusing to let him run away. She wanted an answer. She wanted him to think, to question. She wanted him to believe in Dace and trust her motives, hidden as they were.

"Give them a choice," Tayvis said, his voice strained with emotion, "they'll choose the one with more money, better social standing, whatever. Look at Vance. Next to the Emperor's son, he's the one the women want. Because of who he is, who his parents are."

"What do you think you are? Garbage from some slummy alleyway behind a bar?"

He flinched away from her.

"Who do you think Dace is? When did she ever care about all that?"

"You said she had changed."

"Not that much," Paltronis said, shaking her head.

"You never talked to her, did you? You said Lowell was going to after she woke up from the coma, but you never did."

"Sometimes, Tayvis, you can be so perceptive. And sometimes you can be so dense. No, I haven't talked to her personally since she woke up. Vance got to her too quickly. But, she would never dump you like that."

"She did. She saw me at the party. The look of guilt on her face was too plain. She didn't say anything when Vance joined her. She stood there with him, leaning on him. She's made her choice and nothing I do will change it. If she's happy, I won't interfere."

"What if she isn't?"

Tayvis turned away from her, jamming his hands savagely into his pockets. He walked away, down the beach, his shoulders slumped, his head down. He'd given up on Dace.

Paltronis wanted to beat sense into him. She balled her hands into fists, fighting the urge. It wouldn't do any good. He wasn't going to listen to her, no matter what she did. He was going to walk away, and let Dace marry Vance. It would kill him, slowly but surely. It was ripping her apart to know she couldn't do anything about it.

She blinked hot tears away, a reflexive habit. It blurred vision, making her vulnerable to attack. She knew she was safe here, but watching Tayvis made her too aware of her own vulnerable spots.

She hadn't seen or heard from Beryn in months. She needed him, she wanted him standing beside her, offering his support. She knew exactly how Tayvis felt. What if Beryn had found someone else while he was away?

She was too much like Tayvis. She kept herself aloof, to protect herself from the pain of caring. But she did care, no matter how strongly she tried to deny it. She cared about Tayvis, and Lowell, and Dace, and the whole crew of the Phoenix. She cared, and she would have been much poorer if she'd never opened herself to them. But it cut both ways.

She couldn't watch him any more. She turned back to the complex of buildings. She had to hold on to the belief that Beryn was still hers. The thought of losing him left her aching and hollow inside.

She turned at the door. The bright lights made it impossible to see Tayvis on the beach. She promised herself that as soon as Lowell got word about Dace, any word, Tayvis would be the first to hear it.

Just maybe, she could fix things between Tayvis and Dace. She couldn't bear watching either of them go through any more pain.