I sat next to the desk. Commander Maharta waited patiently nearby. The base commander, a man I didn't know, read through the datacubes Jeden had given me. It felt like years ago, it was only a week. I was still shaky. The fact I wasn't quite human had worked in my favor. The poison wasn't nearly as effective as Lady Candyce had hoped. I'd managed to survive yet again.
The base commander finished. He tapped his finger thoughtfully against his bottom lip. "This is quite the report. You had us all fooled, Admiral."
"I had myself fooled," I said tiredly. "It wasn't my work, Commander. I was the distraction."
"We had no agents involved, except for Admiral Dace," Commander Maharta said. "We don't know who the man is."
"Lady Candyce left on her yacht five days ago," the base commander said. "We didn't have the information verified then. We will catch up to her eventually."
"And do what? Throw her in jail?" I shook my head. "She and her friends are too well protected."
"But now that we know, we can watch them all more closely," the base commander said.
"And what about Commander Leighton?" I asked. "How many more officers are in their pay? How many more spies are buried under your nose?"
Commander Maharta shifted uneasily. "We suspected him for some time."
"What if he'd never given himself away?" I stood. I felt a hundred years old.
"Stay and help us find them," Commander Maharta begged. "You've proven your worth. You could—"
"Be recognized by most of them." I shook my head. "You made sure I was marked. Besides, I'm officially retired from the Patrol. I never wanted to join in the first place."
"Where are you going?" the base commander asked.
"Home," I said simply. I'd checked that morning. The Phoenix was still in port. I was going to beg Jasyn to take me back. I'd sign over everything to her, if it meant the nightmare would finally end. I wanted nothing more than to fly my ship wherever she told me to go.
"There's someone who wants to talk with you first," Commander Maharta said.
I shook my head. "You questioned me already. I don't want another interrogation."
"Vance Shiropi wanted a word with you, before you left."
I stiffened at his name. A lot had come clear, while I lay in the hospital recovering. I didn't want to see him. I glanced down at the ring still on my finger. I owed him at least a few minutes of my time. I gave in with a sigh.
"He's waiting downstairs," Commander Maharta said. "I'll take you there."
I followed her silently through the halls. I wore a borrowed uniform that was too big, with no rank insignia. It was gray, a serviceman's jumpsuit. Everyone still knew who I was. They saluted as we passed.
Commander Maharta took me to the back of the Patrol complex, where the civilian mixed with the military. She knocked on a door and opened it. I stepped inside the room. She pulled the door shut behind me.
Vance stood at the window, looking down into the street outside. I studied him for a long moment. He reminded me a lot of his father. His face was set in a mask that gave nothing away.
He finally turned towards me, a faint smile curving his lips. "Dace. You cut your hair."
"Yes." I'd shaved it partly as a gesture of defiance towards society in general and his mother in particular. Mostly I cut it off because the poison made it brittle.
There was a long moment of awkward silence. I had no idea what was really going on behind his dark eyes.
I pulled the ring off my finger and set it deliberately on the desk next to him. "You set me up, Vance. When did you start planning it? Back on Trythia? Or before that?"
He looked down at the ring, sparkling in the light from the window. "I never meant to hurt you, Dace."
"You used me, Vance."
"You used me, too."
I made the mistake of meeting his gaze. His mask slipped. His eyes showed hurt. I looked away first.
"I did what I had to," he said. "I suspected my mother was involved. I couldn't have turned her in. Can you imagine what they would say? I was jealous of my own mother, so I fabricated lies to implicate her in treason. No one would have believed me. I did what I had to. I used you, yes. I saw no other choice."
I closed my eyes, not wanting to feel the pain. I had to know, though.
"Was there ever any truth to your proposal, Vance?" It came out a whisper
His mask was back in place. His eyes were flat and unreadable.
"Did you ever care about me at all or was it just part of your game?"
"I don't play games." He smiled, a polite turn of his mouth. "It was never about you or me. It was about treason."
I waited, feeling tears burn behind my eyes. If he said he loved me, that he did care for me, that he was sorry he'd used me this way, I would take the ring back. I would marry him. I would find a way to make a life with him. I didn't want to walk out the door and turn my back on him. I didn't want to face an uncertain future of loneliness.
"Mother was right about one thing," he said as he turned back to the window. "We were never right for each other."
It was like a slap in my face. How could he say it so callously? How could he hurt me this way? Because he had never really cared about me. I'd wanted it so badly, I'd imagined it.
I turned blindly towards the door, blinking back tears. I was not going to cry. I was Dace. I was strong. I was alone. I could stand by myself. I brushed past Commander Maharta.
The stairs to the back door were right in front of me. I walked down them with all the dignity I could find. I waited for Vance to come after me, to tell me he was wrong. I half wanted it, and half dreaded it. I opened the door to the outside.
I smelled the ocean on the breeze that brushed past me. I was Dace. I was myself. I was free. I wondered why it still hurt so badly. I ducked my head and walked down the street towards the space port. I was going home. I wished Jasyn wanted me back. I was willing to give anything to be wanted somewhere.