Chapter Seven

 

“I feel ridiculous,” Ben muttered later that day as he sat next to Natalie in her carriage. “No one is going to believe I’m a woman.”

Natalie stopped him before he could throw the hat and dark wig off of his head. “You look like a woman. The makeup I applied helps to soften your features.”

Soften his features? He grimaced.

“I’m not saying that you’re a pretty woman. The truth is, you’re an ugly one.”

“Thanks a lot.”

She chuckled. “Believe it or not, that’s a compliment. You’re a good looking man. We just need to get Annabelle to see that.”

He rolled his eyes. And the best way to do that was to pretend to be a woman?

As if she could read his mind, she said, “Once you get to know Annabelle as a friend, everything else will fall into place. This disguise will remove the romantic part of your relationship that makes it difficult for you to talk to her.”

She’d told him this before, and when she had first said it, it made perfect sense. But now, it didn’t make any sense to him at all. As for the disguise… He felt foolish. Everyone was going to see right through it.

Everyone was going to know he was wearing a wig. They were going to know the cantaloupes weren’t real breasts. Natalie had thought the bigger the breasts, the more believable he would be as a woman. Then she had thrown an ivory scarf over his purple dress, saying it made his breasts look realistic. The girdle made it difficult to breathe if he wasn’t sitting straight up, but it did give him the illusion of hips. The dress, thankfully, reached just past his ankles, hiding his legs. Natalie had selected slippers for him that were just as fashionable as his dress, but it pointed his toes. He had asked her if slippers did this to other women, and she’d told him most did, which was why they had to be careful when buying them. Then she clasped a cameo around his neck, put some makeup on his face, and announced he was ready.

When he looked at himself in the mirror, he had to admit that she’d done a good job of hiding his real identity. He wasn’t sure others would be convinced he was a woman, but no one would suspect it was him.

Now, as they got closer to Margie Gordon’s residence, he had to fight the urge to tap on the top of the carriage and tell the coachman to take them back to Natalie’s so he could get back into his regular clothes. This whole thing was doomed. It wasn’t going to work. There was no way Annabelle was ever going to love him, let alone like him. They were going to spend the rest of their lives miserable. She’d always resent him for being stupid enough to blurt out the lie about her being with child, and he’d always feel guilty for trapping her into a marriage she didn’t want.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Ben said. Why hadn’t he brought any peppermint candies with him?

“That reminds me.” Natalie opened her drawstring purse and handed him a handful of peppermints. “I thought these might come in handy. You have a pocket on the right side of your dress. You can put these in there.”

Grateful she’d remembered them, he thanked her and took them. He put one in his mouth before slipping the rest into his pocket.

“I know this is going to be hard for you,” Natalie said, “but I believe it’s going to work. Annabelle is a wonderful friend. She’s able to look past a person’s lack of sophistication. She sees people as they really are. I’m sure she’ll think you’re strange. Margie will probably think you’re strange, too. But,” she hurried to add before he could suggest turning the carriage around, “it’s better to be strange than to be exposed.”

When she put it like that, he supposed she was right.

“I thought of a good name for you,” she continued. “I think we should name you Betty.”

“Betty?”

“It’s close to Ben. It’ll make it easier for you to answer to someone if they call you by a name that’s already similar to yours.”

He didn’t think it mattered what his name would be, but he saw no reason to choose a different one. “Alright. We’ll go with Betty.”

“You also need a last name.” She thought for a moment then said, “Betty Hudson. We’ll go with that.” The carriage came to a stop, and she let out an excited squeal. “This is going to be so much fun!”

Fun? Was she serious?

She jumped out of the carriage as soon as the coachman opened the door. She was practically jumping up and down as she waited for Ben to come out of the carriage.

Good grief. Mark had married someone who was surprisingly excited about seeing if she could pull off a ruse in front of her friends. He shook his head. She and Mark were better matched than Mark realized. This was so much like all of the times he had joined Mark in one of his schemes.

If it weren’t for Annabelle, he wouldn’t have any part of it. But this was for Annabelle. He wanted so much to have a real marriage with her, and if this was the way it was going to happen, all of the embarrassment and anxiety would be worth it. He just had to keep his focus on the goal.

He put another peppermint in his mouth, took a deep breath, and left the carriage. He almost put his arm out to escort Natalie up the steps of the large home but then remembered women didn’t do that sort of thing.

“Everything will be fine,” Natalie said as the two headed up the stairs. “Just follow my lead.” She stopped him, and for a moment, he thought she had changed her mind and would take him back to her home so he could get back into his clothes. But instead, she said, “Let me hear you speak as a woman again.”

“I haven’t forgotten the voice,” Ben replied.

“I know, but I want to hear it. Just to make sure it sounds right.”

He sighed and, feeling silly, said, “Good afternoon, ladies,” in a high pitch.

“That sounds good enough.” Then she turned her attention back to the steps and started walking up them again.

“What do you mean by ‘good enough’?” he asked as he hurried after her. “It’s the best I can do.”

“Yes, and it’ll pass for a woman. That’s all we need.”

He wasn’t sure he liked the sound of this. He glanced over his shoulder. The carriage was still there. Maybe he should bolt for it. Unlike Mark, Natalie wasn’t strong enough to stop him.

Just as he seriously considered it, he saw Annabelle coming up to the front of the house in the buggy. She was wearing a pink dress, and under her matching hat, he saw that her hair had been brushed so that it fell down her back in gentle waves. He paused in mid-step and almost lost his footing. Thankfully, he managed to regain his balance before he went tumbling down to the sidewalk.

Natalie rushed back to him. “Ben? I mean, Betty?”

He glanced at her then turned his attention back to Annabelle, who tied the horse’s reins to one of the posts. He didn’t know how she did it, but every time he saw her, she seemed to get more and more beautiful. If Natalie’s plan worked… If Annabelle might one day smile at him because she wanted to be with him, then all of this would be worth it. He had to try it. She was worth going through all of this, no matter how disconcerting it was to be acting like a woman.

He turned to Natalie and nodded. “Let’s do this.” Then he lifted the hem of his dress and joined her as she went up the rest of the stairs.

When they reached the front door, Natalie said, “Margie is a very nice person. I think you’ll like her.”

He tried to focus on what she was saying, but he couldn’t help but watch Annabelle as she offered the horse an apple. She was smiling and patting the horse on the neck with her free hand. She really was comfortable with horses.

No one would know she had spent time on her relatives’ farms if they looked at her. She was dressed in an expensive gown. It was more expensive than anything she’d worn in his home, but then, she had no reason to dress up in her best in a small parsonage. As for the church he presided over… Well, why would she wear something that fancy in a place where the people wore the same clothes every Sunday because they could only afford one nice outfit?

She knew how to dress for the occasion. He knew how to dress for it, too, given that he’d grown up in this world. The only difference between them was that he’d chosen to leave this behind.

The front door opened, and after Natalie introduced her and Ben, the butler led them into the drawing room. The butler glanced Ben’s way, his eyebrows furrowed. For a moment, Ben thought the butler had figured out he wasn’t really a woman, but the butler only gave a slight shiver that told him the butler was repulsed by the way he looked. Ben supposed that was good. The butler believed he was a woman. He just thought Ben was exceptionally ugly.

“I’m glad you could come,” Margie called out as she hurried over to Natalie and gave her a hug.

“I wouldn’t miss one of your teas for anything,” Natalie replied, hugging her back. As she pulled away from her, she gestured to Ben. “This is an old friend of mine. Her name is Betty Hudson.”

Ben cleared his throat, then offered a, “How do you do?” in a high-pitched voice.

“Oh, we don’t have to be formal like some ladies are,” Margie replied.

To his surprise, Margie gave him a hug. She couldn’t tell his breasts were fake, could she? He gave Natalie a startled look, but she offered him a reassuring smile.

“Any friend of Natalie’s is a friend of mine,” Margie said as she released him. “She’s a wonderful young lady. I think Mark is very fortunate to have her.”

“That’s kind of you to say,” Natalie replied, her cheeks pink with pleasure.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it,” Margie told her. “You’re a steadfast friend. Those don’t come by so easily.”

The butler came back into the room, this time with Annabelle. Ben had to resist the urge to put his hand up to his face so that Annabelle wouldn’t know it was him.

“It means a lot to me that you’re willing to have tea with me this afternoon,” Margie told Annabelle.

“There’s no reason why I shouldn’t come,” Annabelle replied, accepting Margie’s hug.

Ben waited to see if Natalie would also hug Annabelle. If so, then he would get a chance to hug her, too. But Natalie wasn’t as outwardly affectionate as Margie was. Ben didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. The closer he got to Annabelle, the more he risked being exposed. On the other hand, he hadn’t ever hugged her, and he sure wouldn’t mind an excuse to do so, even if the cantaloupes on his chest would get in the way.

“I worried that after what happened, you wouldn’t want to talk to me,” Margie told Annabelle.

“You aren’t responsible for what your nephew did,” Annabelle replied.

Ben studied Annabelle. He couldn’t tell if she was sad about the way things had transpired between her and Kenneth or not. She had let Kenneth court her. She’d never allowed that with Ben. Though, to be fair, Ben hadn’t asked. She would have said no. He knew she’d had no interest in him. But she had said yes to Kenneth.

Ben clasped his gloved hands together. He hoped this wasn’t going to be another failed venture. He’d tried so many times in the past to get to know her better—and to let her get to know him. He thought once she got to know him, she might not be so put off by him. But who knew? Maybe that was just wishful thinking. Maybe this whole thing was going to be a waste of time.

Margie led Annabelle over to Natalie and Ben. “You already know Natalie,” Margie began, a twinkle in her eye, “but I don’t think you’ve met Betty Hudson, have you?”

Annabelle shook her head. “No, I haven’t.” She gave Ben a polite smile. “Good afternoon.”

Ben’s mouth went dry, so he had to settle for a smile and a nod.

“Betty’s shy,” Natalie said. “It takes her a while to open up to new people. She’s not from Omaha.”

“I didn’t think I recognized her,” Annabelle said.

Ben sighed with relief. Good. The disguise was officially a success.

“Well, let’s have a seat,” Margie suggested. “Hopefully, our future social engagements won’t always be this small. I know it’s because of what happened with my nephew that no one else wanted to come, even though I sent out several invitations.”

“It’s not how many people attend that matters,” Natalie said. “It’s the quality of the women who attend.”

Margie began pouring tea into everyone’s cups. “I keep telling myself that, but I do worry that your association with me will make it harder for you young ladies to fit in with the important people in Omaha.”

Since Ben had come with Natalie, he sat in the chair next to hers, which put him across from Annabelle and Margie, who were together on the couch. Ben shifted in the chair in an attempt to get more comfortable, but the dress was surprisingly restricting no matter how he sat. How did women manage this? He missed his pants, which gave him freedom to move his legs as he wished.

Margie began handing out the cups, and he noticed the scones. He inwardly cringed. Why did everyone serve scones?

Margie handed him a cup of tea. “Are you visiting, or are you new to Omaha?”

“I’m visiting,” Ben said, hoping Annabelle and Margie would continue to believe he was a woman.

Annabelle scanned him up and down, and he had to resist the urge to avoid her gaze. She was going to call him out for lying to them. He just knew it!

But instead of hurling the accusation, she asked, “Where are you visiting from?”

Since he had been in St. Louis the previous year, he replied, “St. Louis, Missouri.”

“Oh, I love it there,” Margie spoke up after she sipped her tea. “There are so many things to do. Symphonies, plays, art exhibits.” Her eyes widened. “Have you been to the Willard Art Gallery?”

From next to him, Natalie seemed startled, and Ben had to stop himself from reaching for the peppermint in his pocket. He couldn’t put it in the tea while Margie and Annabelle were looking at him expectantly. While he had been to St. Louis, he hadn’t been to any of the art galleries. His mission hadn’t been to take in the sights. It’d been to meet with other preachers.

“No, I haven’t been there,” he slowly admitted. He searched his mind for something he had seen while there that would help give credence to his façade. “But I did get the pleasure of seeing the Eads Bridge.” When he noticed Natalie’s eyebrows furrow, he added, “It’s a railroad bridge that crosses the Mississippi River.”

“I saw it, too!” Margie chuckled. “Wasn’t it magnificent?”

He nodded. It had been an impressive sight. The preacher who’d lived there had taken him to see it before he returned to Omaha, and right now, he was especially grateful for the man’s persistence in the matter.

“Have any of you seen it?” Margie asked Annabelle and Natalie.

The two women shook their heads, but it was Annabelle who spoke up. “My father talks about it from time to time. He says it played a large part in people moving further out west since it allowed more supplies to come in. Trains can bring in more supplies than boats.”

“Trains have benefited a lot of people,” Margie agreed. “They are more efficient than boats. Though I have been on a boat. There’s something to be said for looking out and seeing water in every direction.”

“I’d rather stick to trains,” Natalie said. “At least you don’t have to worry about drowning if you get a leak.”

“There are lifeboats for that, but I agree it does feel safer when you’re on a train.” Margie’s gaze went to the scones. “Don’t be shy about eating these. I didn’t have the cook make them all for me. I intended to share them.” She chuckled then set her cup down. She picked up the tray and held it out to Annabelle.

Annabelle thanked her and took a scone. Margie approached Ben and Natalie. Ben’s stomach tensed. Try as he might, he couldn’t take one. It reminded him too much of his childhood and all of the reasons why he’d disappointed his parents. He didn’t need this kind of reminder when Annabelle, who was also disappointed because of him, was in the same room with him.

Natalie took one and bit into it.

Hoping Margie wouldn’t take offense, Ben said, “I’m too full to eat anything. I had a large lunch.” With a tentative chuckle, he patted his stomach.

Thankfully, Margie didn’t seem upset. She only smiled and returned the tray to the table. Then she settled next to Annabelle and ate her scone.

The tension in Ben’s stomach eased, and he was able to drink some of his tea.

“How long will you be staying in Omaha?” Margie asked him.

Ben glanced at Natalie. Just how long did she intend for this ploy to continue?

“She hasn’t decided yet,” Natalie answered for him. “She wants to get as much from her time in Omaha as possible.”

Well, he supposed that was true. He needed to keep up the pretense of being Betty until he could successfully get Annabelle to think positively of him as Ben. Again, he resisted the urge to take out a peppermint from his pocket. Who was he fooling? That was never going to happen. Annabelle would always think he was her brother’s pathetic friend.

“While you’re here, we should go to the circus,” Margie said.

“Circus?” Natalie asked, sitting up straighter in the chair. “They have a circus here?”

“A traveling one,” Margie said. “It’s due to come in next week.”

Natalie’s eyes lit up in excitement. “I didn’t know this. When did you find out?”

“My husband mentioned it yesterday evening while we were having dinner. He thought it might help cheer me up, given what happened.” She paused then turned her gaze to Ben. “I had hoped Annabelle would be a part of our family. It didn’t work out.” Tears found their way into her voice, and she stopped to regain her composure.

Ben winced. It was hard to tell who’d been more excited about the prospect of Kenneth and Annabelle marrying: Margie or Annabelle.

Natalie set her half-eaten scone and tea down. Then she jumped up and hurried over to Margie. She sat on the small spot left on the couch and put her arm around Margie’s shoulders. “Even if Annabelle isn’t a part of your family, you two can still be friends.”

When Natalie looked at Annabelle, Annabelle said, “Of course, we’re still friends.”

Ben noticed the way Annabelle’s grip had tightened on the cup in her hand. She had already finished the scone, and at the moment, she was drumming her fingers on the edge of the couch with her free hand. Ben hid his surprise. Annabelle was nervous. Margie had started to cry, and Annabelle didn’t know how to handle it.

That was funny. Ben thought women knew what to do when other women cried. It seemed like they had an instinct for dealing with sensitive situations. Natalie knew what to do and say. Already Natalie’s soft tone and caring touch were making Margie feel better.

Annabelle’s grip on her cup relaxed, and she breathed a sigh of relief that the worst of it was over—that Margie wasn’t going to give into crying full-blown tears.

Ben thought over everything he could recall about Annabelle. Now that he thought about it, he’d never seen Annabelle cry. He’d seen her annoyed. He’d seen her when she was frustrated. He’d seen her angry. He’d seen her being polite. He’d seen her when she was pleasant. He’d even seen her when she was happy. But he’d never seen her cry. She was never weak. She seemed to have a backbone made of steel. He’d never seen anything penetrate her walls.

Not until this moment. In this moment, he saw a flicker of vulnerability in her. Her apprehension had been such a fleeting emotion that he would have missed it if he hadn’t been watching her.

“Maybe we should go outside and get some fresh air,” Natalie told Margie. “You like the flowers at the park. Why don’t we go for a walk?” She glanced between Ben and Annabelle, a silent question in her eyes.

Annabelle nodded and helped Margie to her feet. “That’s a good idea. Walking is good for the soul.”

Annabelle probably said that more for herself than Margie. Ben suspected Annabelle was anxious to do something in order to distract Margie so that Margie wouldn’t start crying again.

“You’re probably right,” Margie agreed, sniffing back her tears. “Sometimes it’s hard not to think of all the dreams my husband and I had. We had always wanted children but couldn’t have them. We had imagined that Kenneth would have them, and we’d get to enjoy our grandnephews and grandnieces. All of that is gone.” She took out a handkerchief and dabbed her eyes. “I’m sorry. This was supposed to be an enjoyable afternoon, and I’m ruining it.”

Again, Annabelle looked uncomfortable, and it was Natalie who offered words of encouragement. “No one can blame you for being sad,” Natalie said in a soothing voice. “What happened was terrible, and I think women just assume they’ll have children when they marry. And Annabelle and I thought Kenneth was a nice person.”

Ben noticed Natalie didn’t say that everyone thought Kenneth was a nice person. He knew Mark hadn’t trusted Kenneth. It was just as well that Natalie didn’t mention that to Margie. The last thing Margie needed was to know someone had seen through his charade. That would only make her feel worse.

“I’m a firm believer that when something doesn’t turn out the way we hoped, God will send us something even better,” Natalie continued. She glanced at Ben, a hopeful look in her eyes. “Don’t you agree?”

Ben knew why she’d asked him the question. He was a preacher. This was the area he most often tackled in his line of work. And for the first time since he arrived here, he felt like he was qualified to participate in the conversation.

“Of course,” he said as he got to his feet. “God doesn’t allow something to enter our lives unless He can use it for our good. Have you ever noticed that the sun shines brighter and the grass looks greener after a storm? It’s the same way in our lives. It’s hard to see the silver lining in the clouds until the time of sorrow has passed, but it’s there.”

“I know you’re right,” Margie replied. “I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll never have children. It’s just that Kenneth was like the son I never had. He’s gone now. There’s no getting him back. Even if he wanted to make things right, he couldn’t. I feel like if I’d only done something differently, I could have helped him before it was too late. There’s much more to my loss than not having grandnephews and grandnieces.”

“I understand,” Ben said. “There are many feelings you’re dealing with, and there’s nothing anyone can say or do to offer you the comfort you need. The only one who can truly do that is God. It’s in our darkest moments when He’s most real to us. He wants to help you through this, but you have to be willing to let Him do that. He never forces someone to do something they don’t want.”

Natalie smiled appreciatively at him. “That’s very well put.” She turned her gaze to Margie. “Just take things one day at a time. And you have us to talk to if you ever need a shoulder to cry on.”

“I’m very fortunate to have friends like you,” Margie said, glancing at Annabelle and Ben to let them know she was including them in that comment.

Ben noticed the flicker of guilt in Annabelle’s eyes. Annabelle didn’t feel that she had offered Margie the support and encouragement that Natalie and Ben just had. She was wrong, of course. She was here to spend time with Margie as a companion, even though she must be hurting over what had happened with Kenneth in her own way. It was just that, unlike Margie, she wasn’t going to cry over him.

“Let’s go to the park,” Natalie told everyone.

Ben waited for the other women to head for the door before he followed them. Well, so far, so good. No one had called him out for lying. He and Natalie just might get away with the ruse after all.