Twenty Three

Addy

Addy liked Las Vegas. She loved the parties and the shows and the drinks. She enjoyed the happy people and the nightlife and the fun, but she especially liked being there with Jay.

Nothing was quite as good as that was.

“How’s that daiquiri?” he asked.

Addy held up her football-sized drink, admiring the garnish of strawberries and pineapple that laced the glass.

“It’s awesome,” she said. “I love piña coladas.”

“I do, too,” said Jay. He was holding her hand, squeezing. He hadn’t let it go even once. She was okay with that. “The best piña colada you’ll ever taste though is in the Bahamas. My father had a beach house there, and Ashley and I used to visit in the summers. Those are perfect.”

“You’ll have to take me someday,” Addy said, prodding him for a reaction. There was only a split second of silence before he spoke.

“Of course,” he said. “I think you’d like it.”

She thought about it then, giddy with excitement; she and Jay, on the beach, hand-in-hand, living their life together. They would be so happy—just as they were now.

They wandered in silence for a few more minutes, swimming through the crowd of rowdy college kids and retired old folk. Every few minutes Jay would squeeze her hand, and Addy couldn’t help but squeeze back. The thought of letting go of him frightened her. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to. Not now, not after everything they had been through. The mere thought of going home to Ryan made her stomach turn, but not in a good way. A love like those classic romance movies she’d seen growing up existed in real life, too. She was living it.

“Do you know where Laurel is staying?” Addy asked. Jay shrugged, but she could visibly see his expression darken under the lights. She couldn’t blame him. This woman sounded like the devil herself.

“I think I have a good idea.”

“Where at?” When he didn’t answer, she wanted to push him for it. But she didn’t. Instead, she took another sip from her drink, trying to enjoy the night. She couldn’t help but feel that in the last hour, Jay was becoming distant. He was thinking about stuff, she could tell. Maybe he was thinking about stuff that didn’t involve her.

No, that was impossible. They were a team now. Jay had dragged her into this with him, and now she would refuse to let him walk out and leave her. She wouldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t. Jay was who she had now. This man, who days ago had been a mere stranger to her, was now one of the only people she had left in her life. If he walked out now, she wasn’t sure she could survive.

“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling her back to reality.

Addy nodded, not trusting herself to speak. What could she say? No, I’m not okay. I’m terrified that you will leave me, and I have no idea how to keep you here.

“I’m all right,” she said instead. Jay watched her doubtfully, his striking blue eyes seeming to burn into the side of her skull. She hated that. She hated it and loved it all simultaneously. Part of her hated that he had so much control over her. His eyes, his hair, his stupid perfect body, and his stupid charming smiling—he was flawless in her eyes. But the other part of her? Well, the other part of her loved it. She loved how handsome he was. Alluring. She loved that she got butterflies when he smiled at her, she loved the feel of his skin against her own, she loved his charming smile and the way he squeezed her hand. She loved him.

“Jay?” Addy stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, pulling him to a halt, ignoring the angry sneers of the drunk crowd trying to step around them. Jay turned to face her. He seemed distracted. Someone bumped into her, but Jay caught her before she face-planted into the cement.

“Yeah?”

“I—” Addy faltered, then set her drink down and reached up, taking his face between her hands. “You mean a lot to me,” she said. “You need to tell me right now if you’re going to leave.”

“Leave?” He sounded confused. “Leave where?”

“Anywhere,” she said. “Leave me. Are you going to leave me?” The silence that greeted her was painful, and she felt her heartbeat speed up. She was terrified to hear the answer. The thought of him walking out on her now was enough to drive her over the edge. She wouldn’t be able to do it. Not after knowing him—not after knowing what she knew now.

“Addy.” Jay rested both of his hands on both of hers before leaning in and kissing her on the forehead. “No,” he said and pulled her back into the crowd.

A tiny sliver of relief trickled through her, but an even bigger part of her was still worried. No, worried was an understatement. She was terrified.

Jay had always been a bad liar. Ashley had been the fibber of the family. She could sweet-talk anyone into doing or being anything, only to make it seem like it had been their idea, to begin with. Jay couldn’t lie if his life depended on it—especially if it was to someone he cared about. Which, now, was Addy. He cared about this girl more than he ever thought was possible. This person, who had been only a stranger to him, now meant more to him than anyone besides his sister and mother ever had.

Jay turned on his side to watch Addy sleep. She looked like an angel to him, one arm flung over the yellow dog, her head buried in his fur, her chest rising and falling with her breathing. She seemed so happy, so at peace, as if all the hate and drama in the world was gone and all she had to worry about was herself, Jay, and the damn dog.

With a sigh, Jay rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom, rolling his head back to try and ease the knots of anxiety shooting down his neck. All day his mind had been on Laurel, and all day he had fought himself on whether to bring Addy along. He liked her—he liked her a lot. Okay, more than a lot. The thought of Addy being led into danger by him made him sick to his stomach. She didn’t deserve that. He had put her through enough. How could she want to be with a man like him? Sure, her fiancé was a douche, but Jay had never considered himself Mr. Perfect. He had problems. He had issues. He had a temper—so why in the hell had Addy chosen him? She deserved better. She deserved a man who could support her. Someone who was smart and intelligent and could help her through the dark times instead of dragging her into their own.

But she’s not perfect either.

Turning on the faucet, Jay splashed his face with cold water. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, hair disheveled, forehead crinkled with worry. What a mess he was. How could he be strong for Addy if he could barely stand on his own two feet?

The yellow dog’s eyes followed Jay across the room, and Vegas thumped his tail weakly against the bed. Addy continued to sleep, snoring softly. For a moment, Jay considered leaving her be, but he couldn’t resist. Sitting down next to her on the bed, he pushed Vegas aside and reached out for Addy, stroking her cheek with his finger. She stirred but didn’t wake. Jay scooted closer, smiling, lowering his face to hers. He allowed his fingers to trail up and down one arm before moving over to her chest. The shirt she wore was hanging low, and her cleavage rose and fell with her breathing. Jay rested his lips on hers and reached up to caress her cheek.

“Hey,” Addy murmured as she woke. Her eyelashes fluttered, and she smiled up at him with childlike innocence. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jay said. “It’s okay.”

“Promise.”

He hesitated, just briefly.

“I promise.”

She was amazed by how he made her feel, like a goddess in her body, a sexual being who, for once, wanted to open to a man and embrace everything they were.

Addy allowed herself to melt into Jay and embraced the secure feeling of his arms around her, pulling her in. She wanted him so badly that she wondered for a moment if sex was even enough. But what came after sex? Love? Did she love Jay? She wasn’t sure. The thought of sex with another person had only ever made her want to curl up and hide. But now, with Jay, things were different. She wanted this. She wanted him. She wanted sex—but even more than that she wanted love.

More than once Addy wondered if that’s just how it was—maybe sex wasn’t even that great and maybe it was just a matter of finding that person you could tolerate and create a life with them. The spark hadn’t been there—at least, not for her. But with Jay, everything was different. It was a whole new, exciting world for her. A world full of fantasies and happiness and endless possibilities; a world filled with sexual pleasure and desire—a feeling she had not experienced until now. Her father had made her fear her body after what he’d done to her. She’d looked upon herself shamefully, an insecure teenager and then a frightened young woman. A man’s touch frightened her, it always had. But now, with Jay, his body against hers in a mind-numbing moment of passion, Addy wasn’t scared anymore. She wasn’t frightened. She was a woman.

Jay slipped the button of her jeans loose. Her hips moved automatically toward him, practically begging for another touch—another feel—of pure ecstasy. She reached one hand behind Jay’s head and tangled her fingers in his hair, forcing his lips apart with her own. He groaned softly, and every nerve ending in her body seemed to light up with a spark, egging her on. She placed her palm on his chest, the feel of his skin hot beneath her touch. He parted his lips to hers, eyes closed, body responding in such a way that Addy felt caught off guard—but only because she had never known herself to get a reaction like that from another being. And not just any other being, but a man—a man who she was desperate for.

It was a matter of moments before Addy felt Jay’s body press into hers, sliding into her smoothly, flawlessly. She let out a quiet gasp of pleasure, still amazed by how good it felt even now, even after they had already done this. The excitement didn’t go away. The pleasure only sharpened.

Addy moved her hips in sync with his thrusts, biting her lip to keep from losing it after every soft movement. Jay smelled good; a hint of aftershave mixed with the lingering scent of cigarette smoke. He slowed his pace for a moment to shower kisses down her neck and breasts, his hands gently tracing her skin, nearly sending her over the edge. She lifted her head to search desperately for his mouth, drawing his chin toward her own as their lips met yet again. She slid her tongue into his mouth, feeling the heat of his breath on her face. She raised her hips, pleading for him to go deeper. When he did, another small gasp escaped from her lungs, and Addy could feel the heat rise to her face and chest. After a moment, Jay rocked again, gently at first, and then harder and faster. She clenched her teeth to keep from crying out, but it was with the utmost pleasure. Once she had adapted to him inside of her, she, too, began to move, rocking her hips to the beat of his body. It was a new experience with Jay every time—a moment, or a feeling, that she hadn’t felt or experienced before.

“Oh, God,” Addy groaned. She shivered with pleasure, panting, unsure of how much longer she could hold on. Jay’s thrust became even quicker, burying himself in her, and that’s all it took. Not even a few moments had passed as Addy felt her body let go, reaching the breaking point. She dropped her hands from his shoulders, exhausted, feeling her head swim with ecstasy. Jay slowed his pace, breathing heavily, and she realized that he, too, had released. He bent his head down to kiss her gently. He was smiling, and it made her all the happier as he rolled gently off her body and settled into the mattress next to her.

“You’re incredible,” Jay said, and Addy found herself scooting into him, allowing his arms to embrace and hold her. She was no longer broken. Meeting Jay had been the first step to recovery. She would no longer be tainted or bent or alone. With him, she was whole. With him, she was desirable. But when Addy was with Jay, she could see the attraction in herself—no longer did she look in the mirror and hate the woman she saw. Now she could look at herself and see a confident girl—a beautiful girl who had been to hell and back and still came out kicking. Not only did Jay see that in her, but he made her see it in herself.