Twenty-Nine: Something Good

FIGURED THEY’D TAKE my gun before letting me anywhere near Stern’s office, but the security guard by the metal detectors just nodded and waved me through.

“The president is expecting you, Mr. Nettoyer.” She tossed me a plastic clip-on badge with a red V on it. “Elevator’s on the left. Thirty-fourth floor. Can’t miss it.”

I muttered a quick thanks and stuffed the badge into my pocket. It took all I had not to keep looking over my shoulder waiting for uniforms to come running and arrest me. No one even gave me a second glance as I crossed the brightly lit lobby of what used to be the Finger of Light, but now had been remodeled into the headquarters of Federal Security. The new building smell of plywood and floor cleaner followed me up the elevator. It reminded me of the disinfectant they’d used down in the cells to cover up the stink of sweat and piss.

By the time the elevator dinged open on the thirty-fourth floor, the novelty of walking around a government building without handcuffs had worn off. It popped like a soap bubble when I walked into Stern’s office and found Raeyn sitting in front of Stern’s massive desk, two stone-faced guys in gray uniforms posted at his sides.

Well, talk about killing two flies with one fucking stone.

“Mr. Nettoyer.” Stern stood facing the window wall that covered the south side of her office. “You’re joining us right in time.”

No shit.

Raeyn opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. I shot him a look that said to let me do the talking for once so I could try and save his sorry ass. He didn’t look hurt. At least not where I could see.

“We were just discussing how to deal with the obvious remainders of the old Empire,” Stern said. She didn’t move from her perch by the window. Her office overlooked Lightsquare, the East River a glittering ribbon under an overcast sky. The former palace sprawled along the riverside, an island of glass and steel. Most of it was boarded up now, the glass cupola cracked and black with soot, white walls dark with jagged graffiti. “It’s probably best to get rid of it. Tear it down. Erase all the symbolism. People will forget eventually.”

Something in the way she said it made my throat go tight, my heart kick against my ribs, because I didn’t think she was talking about the palace at all. Not with the most fucking obvious remainder of the old Empire sitting right in front of her desk.

“You don’t need to kill it!” I said quickly.

Raeyn raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, you want to send the right signal, right? Make nice and integrate and all that. Turn it into a museum. Or a hospital. Something you can use.”

And there I went, parroting exactly what Stern’d been on about the day before, never mind how fucked up it was. I’d worry about being a hypocrite after I got Raeyn out of here.

Stern nodded. “I like the way you think, Mr. Nettoyer. Very efficient.” She turned from the window. “You’ve thought about my offer?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll take it. But he gets to leave with me.” I nodded at Raeyn.

Stern frowned. “That, I’m afraid, is up to Mr. Nymeron. But yes, we are done here.” She turned to Raeyn. “Unless you have any further questions?”

Raeyn got up, half smile in place. “Not for now. It’s been very enlightening.”

“Indeed.” Stern shook his hand.

To me, she said, “Welcome to the Firm, Mr. Nettoyer. I’ll see you tomorrow at nine. Someone will be down to show you around your office and the briefing room.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Splendid.”

Fortunately, she didn’t push the handshake, because the hand that wasn’t on my cane was clenched around Raeyn’s shoulder. He didn’t complain when I steered him away from Stern’s uniforms and out the door.

It took me all the way down the elevator, through the foyer, and out the building, past the security guards to get my breathing back to normal again.

“Damian?” Raeyn asked after I’d finally let go of him. “Are you okay?”

I stared at him, watching me with pale eyes, his hand twitching as if he wanted to touch me, but couldn’t quite bring himself to. He still looked too thin, worn out and rumpled around the edges, like he’d spent weeks on the run. His hair’d grown out, curling around his ears, at the nape of his neck. He wasn’t wearing his hat. It made him younger, though still sharp enough to cut myself on. And still I ached to touch him, no matter how much I should know better.

“I’m an idiot,” I said, and once I’d started, the words kept spilling out. “And a hypocrite. I mean, you lie, I kill people for a living. Doesn’t look like I’ve got any room to criticize. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. I just, I want—”

I swallowed, tried to get my voice back under control, but it was like falling: once you’d taken the plunge, there was no going back. “I want you. Just you. I mean, if you still want me…” The words trailed off.

Neither of us moved. Those inches between us could’ve been light-years.

Raeyn was the first to unfreeze. “Come here.” His voice was rough, as were his fingers catching handfuls of my shirt, dragging me closer. It was all the encouragement I needed. I leaned in hard, pinned Raeyn against the glass and kissed him, reveling in the soft little sound he made in the back of his throat, his lips hot on mine, neither of us letting go until we were both panting, breathless and bruised.

“Better?” Raeyn asked, his head warm on my shoulder. It’d started to rain, the water like icy fingers reaching down the back of my collar. It didn’t matter. I could’ve stayed there with him forever. In the glass, I could see the reflections of people hunched under bright umbrellas scurrying past, most of them in too much of a hurry to get out of the wet to stop and stare.

“I thought she was going to kill you,” I said against Raeyn’s damp hair.

“Who? Stern?” He lowered his head against my chest and I felt his shoulders shake. “Oh, darling.”

I almost let go of him then. “Are you seriously laughing at me? After—”

Raeyn shook his head. Cleared his throat before he looked me in the eye, but even then the grin kept tugging at the corners of his mouth. “She offered me a job. And conveniently verified I truly didn’t know anything about my mother’s whereabouts.” Raeyn made a face. Valyr’d been in the wind, and consequently in the headlines as the subject of one wild speculation after another. No one believed she was gone for good. Clearly, the new president was no exception.

“Stern wants to keep me close, of course. There’s going to be an inquiry about what happened with the Empire.” Raeyn’s face slipped, and I saw the exhaustion cracking his smile. “Stern wants me around for that, of course. But in the meantime, she wants me to continue my Voyance research. Strictly volunteers this time. That’s why we were talking about the palace. We thought it might be a good location. If a bit…tainted.” He rubbed his eyelids. “Gods. No wonder you looked like she was ready to drag you out back and shoot you.”

“The guards,” I said, suddenly realizing how stupid it sounded. “I thought—”

“Ah. That. Apparently, it’s protocol now. I guess someone tried to open fire on her at a cafe yesterday.” He gave me a sidelong look. “You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

I didn’t say anything.

Raeyn sighed. “Darling, you are a piece of work.” He brushed a wet strand of hair out of my face, his palm warm against the roughness of my cheek before he kissed me again.

“Come on. Let’s get you out of the rain. You look like you could use some pancakes.”

A laugh bubbled up in the back of my throat. “Gods, could I ever.”

I let him take me by the arm and together we walked through the downpour.

Aris’d been right. Maybe it was time for something new, something good.

Maybe I could stop running for a while.