LGBTI-Q&A:

Kate McCartney

Writer/director and actor

Benjamin Law: Where did you grow up, Kate?

Kate McCartney: I was born in Perth, but I left Perth when I was three, moved to Sydney until I was nine or ten, then moved to Melbourne after that. Now I’m thirty-eight, so I’ve been here for a long time.

Tell me about the first crushes you remember having.

I had a cartoon crush on Aladdin. But when I was a bit older, I certainly had a crush on Atreyu from The Neverending Story.

So there’s a theme going on of smooth-chested boys with open vests.

With no body hair! I still feel that way, to be honest. There was also the princess in The Neverending Story.

The Childlike Empress.

Yeah, I think for a long time when it came to women, there was always that sort of confusion there, about whether I wanted to be them or lusted after them. Ultimately it was possibly a hybrid of the two. I feel that way about Sarah Paulson now.

Did you have an understanding of your capacity to have crushes on the Childlike Empress and Atreyu?

I don’t think I had any language around my queerness or bisexuality, which is how I identify. I understood it in relation to other people, but I didn’t really understand it in relation to myself, until my early twenties, I think. I was quite comfortable when I realised I was queer and going, ‘Oh, I think I’m bisexual; I don’t think it means I’m a lesbian.’ But then there was tension around that for other people within the LGBTIQA+ community, as well as straight people. People are a little bit more comfortable with binaries.

I feel bisexual people occupy such a unique space within the queer community because—

Well, we’re vampires.

[Laughs] —you’re the ones that are looked at with suspicion by both straight people and queer people simultaneously. How have you felt that personally?

Less so from non-binary people, or anyone who operates on a spectrum of non-binary identity. I’ve never felt like that from them.

They understand that there aren’t any binaries for gender, so they understand there aren’t any binaries for sexuality either.

Yeah, there’s just a little bit more lived experience that’s similar there.

For straight people, with bisexuality they’re often like, ‘Oh, they’re confused.’ For queer people, it’s often, ‘Oh, they’re gay and in denial.’

Or they’re ‘experimenting’. I spent the majority of my twenties in relationships with women. But the next person I happened to go out with after a long-term girlfriend was a man.

How was that news greeted by people?

For my straight friends and my family – not all my family, though – it’s like my queerness never happened. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in the heteronormative world. It was a bit of a struggle. In terms of the queer community, it’s hard to say if I lost friends. A lot of change happened during that time and it was just a time of fluctuation, but I’d also have people tell me that my membership to the queer community had been revoked.

Oh god, as a joke or seriously?

Sort of as a joke but also, like . . . not. There was a bit of acid to it. There’s a sting there.

You’ve mentioned your bisexuality in The Katering Show and Get Krack!n. What were the viewer responses to that?

People at an executive level asked if I was comfortable talking about it. Like: ‘Just to let you know, you’ve accidentally just said that you were bisexual, just flagging it.’

A bit of pastoral care! What were they afraid was going to happen, exactly?

I don’t know, but obviously that spoke more to their discomfort than it did mine. ‘Like, yeah, I’m aware.’ I also have a very fierce and protective watchdog in Kate McLennan, so I basically wouldn’t respond, and McLennan would go for them. From the community itself, and from other – particularly, young – bisexual kids, it has been really beautiful. Just saying, you know, ‘Thanks for saying out loud that you’re bisexual.’

Did you have anything or anyone like that growing up? Bisexual characters, bisexual representations or discussions of it, as a kid and as a teenager?

No, just vampires in films. [Laughs] Maybe in my twenties, but certainly not in my teens. As a teenager, absolutely not.

Right, so prior to your twenties it was exclusively Anne Rice.

Exactly. [Laughs] And I was a Goth, so you know all the signs were there. In my twenties, there was Buffy.

Willow and Tara.

I don’t know if I was reading that necessarily as being bisexual or being gay. I think I was just sort of like, ‘Ah! Lady love.’ The L Word happened at about that time, but that’s not a great representation of bisexuality, because Alice – the bisexual lady in that – got one boyfriend who left the picture pretty quickly. After that, there was zero mention of her identity.

Bi-erasure!

That was her bi-erasure, yeah.

Did you ever have a moment where you had to come out as bisexual and reveal yourself for the first time?

It was actually pretty easy for me. My mum basically called it. She just was like ‘That’s your girlfriend.’ And I went, ‘True, that is my girlfriend.’

Wow. How old were you?

I think I was twenty-three.

And beyond that, what was her reaction once you’d confirmed it?

I mean, she said some slightly silly things. But the big, guiding, base-level kind of message was love. My dad came to that realisation as well, eventually.

So you’ve had a pretty good run with your family. Do you still find yourself repeatedly coming out, though?

Yeah, I came out the other day, on radio. But usually if I’m in a situation with someone who is from the queer community, who is also in the media, they’re aware.

We’ve all passed that information around to each other.

It’s gone through the newsletter . . . which you edit, right?

And distribute. Final question. Go back in time and talk to the teenage bisexual Kate McCartney. What advice are you gonna give her?

Just, you know, have another Sub Zero and be more honest with yourself.

It’s only a very specific generation that gets that reference. I feel honoured to be part of it.

Also: you probably don’t just want to look like that person; you probably want to make out with them. AND YOU SHOULD! Go right ahead!

This is something I still struggle with as a 36-year-old! Do I just wanna look like them or fuck them?

Honestly, I will say this: across the board, I’ve never felt like I fit in to one place, ever. That includes my bisexual identity. Socially, community-wise, work-wise, identity-wise. Now I’m realising that the grey space I operate in is my greatest strength. I’m not a director, I’m not a writer, I’m not an actor. I think that my ability to exist in my own space is actually probably my biggest strength.

You’re all of those things! You’re not just bisexual in your life but also bisexual . . .

[Laughs] In my work!