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Chapter Four

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JERRELL STARED AT HIM. “On a date?”

A nod. “If you were interested.”

“I–yeah. That–okay?”

Rafi smiled gently. “A little taken aback?”

A little? “Sort of,” Jerrell said weakly. Was this–was this really happening right now?

“I’m sorry if it was presumptuous of me,” Rafi said. “If you say no, that’s perfectly alright. I only hope you don’t mind my still coming in to the café.”

“Of course not,” Jerrell said quickly. He took a breath. “And... sure. Yeah. I’d love to go out with you.”

Rafi smiled brighter. He really was stunning. “Let me give you my information, and we’ll decide on when and where, shall we?”

“Y-yeah. That sounds good.” Jerrell pulled out his phone, already running through his schedule in his head. He was free this weekend, but would saying so make him sound too eager? And he had his VA meeting Monday, and usually didn’t feel like doing much else after it was over. So Tuesday? If it even worked with Rafi’s schedule.

“I’m, ah, available tomorrow,” Rafi said, startling Jerrell out of his thoughts. “If you are, and you don’t think that’s too soon.”

“Tomorrow sounds great,” Jerrell said with probably too much feeling. Gave him a lot less time to work himself up.

“Perfect. Would you prefer to do lunch, over dinner? You’re probably used to baker’s hours, aren't you? I wouldn’t want to keep you out too late.” A grin, this one playful. “And I’d be very tempted to.”

Oh man, okay. Actively being flirted with. Which meant Jerrell hadn’t been making something out of nothing those other times.

This was happening.

“I don’t think I’d mind,” Jerrell managed to say, though he had to look at the table to do it. “But yeah. Lunch would be great.”

Rafi reached out to tap Jerrell’s clasped hands, light brown touching dark. Jerrell picked his head back up. “I’m really looking forward to it,” Rafi said softly.

“I–yeah.” God, could he be any more of a mess? His crush was asking him out, and Jerrell didn’t even sound like he wanted to go. He tried for a smile, probably nervous but definitely honest. “Yeah. Me too.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Rafi said. His hand twitched forward, as if he wanted to touch again, but then he simply clasped his hands together and set them on the table. “Now then, where would you like to go?”

“Oh, I–” Jerrell shook his head. He got the feeling Rafi’d go along with whatever Jerrell suggested, and he’d much rather the other man pick someplace he liked. “Your preference. Please.”

The playful grin returned. “This is my own bias, but how do you feel about Indian?”

Jerrell bit his lip. “I like it a lot.”

Rafi’s eyes crinkled when he smiled and it was unfair. “Glad to hear you’re partial. I know just the place.”

After Rafi gave Jerrell the address of the restaurant and they’d picked a time, Rafi sighed. “I’m afraid I have to go.”

“Right, of course.” Rafi was probably a busy man, and he’d already changed up his schedule at least partially for Jerrell today. “Do you... could I walk you out?”

“I’d love that, thank you,” Rafi said, moving his chair away from the table and–rolling.

Oh.

Oh.

Chair.

Jerrell, how are you so oblivious.

Rafi’s expression turned just a little sad. “Is something wrong?”

Of course not. Jerrell was just an idiot. “No, nothing. Sorry,” Jerrell said, standing up quickly. “I was... pie!” Because that was the first thing he could come up with? Stupid, stupid–

“Pie?” Rafi asked as they made their way over to the door. But at least he didn’t look anything but amused now.

Jerrell tried to go with it. He’d drifted off into pastry-land enough before with Rafi that it probably sounded believable. As opposed to him trying to cover up the fact that he’d been so gone on Rafi’s smile he hadn’t fucking noticed his crush used a wheelchair. Not that it mattered in the least that Rafi used one; Jerrell just felt pretty dumb for missing that detail about him. “I just–I had a new idea for a pie. Sorry.”

Rafi grinned. “Sounds promising.”

“Um. Maybe? Not pumpkin though.” Probably not pumpkin. Except that Rafi liked pumpkin. They had a go-to pumpkin pie recipe that Mary had perfected over the years, but maybe Jerrell could come up with a play on the traditional–

“Jerrell?”

Jerrell winced. “Sorry. I uh, I get caught up in my own head a lot. Sorry.”

Rafi shook his own. “Don’t apologize. I get the feeling that I’ll be enjoying whatever it is you’re thinking up. And it’s wonderful that you’ve found something you’re so passionate about.” He smiled up at Jerrell. “Maybe when we have more time, you could share some of those thoughts with me.”

Jerrell’s cheeks went hot. Everything Rafi said just made Jerrell like him more. “Okay.”

“I’m parked over here,” Rafi said leading Jerrell toward a black BMW parked in a handicapped spot. “Thank you for walking me out.”

“No problem,” Jerrell said. He still felt kind of stupid. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Oh yes,” Rafi said with a final smile. “As I said, I’m looking forward to it. Until then.”

Jerrell nodded and gave him a shaky smile back, then turned around to start his walk home. Without Rafi right there being incredibly distracting, Jerrell’s mind started whirring again, filling with questions. Most of them varieties of what did he see in me.

Jerrell didn’t get asked out a lot. Not on dates. He was a big guy whose default look was “intimidating” for all he tried to tone it down, and a lot of people didn’t like that. And those who did...

He tended to attract a certain type. And when he’d come out and tried to enter the dating scene, the guys who showed an interest in him had put him into a very specific box. A box he was all too familiar with, being black. This dominant, alpha-male idea that Jerrell had no plans in living up to, even if he’d had the confidence to do so. Which he really didn’t. Something that was pretty obvious the moment he opened his mouth. It usually only took him stumbling through a few sentences before guys moved on. That or they didn’t care to listen to him at all, because they were only interested in one thing, and it wasn’t dates.

He’d tried some dating apps before, succumbing to loneliness, but hadn’t had much luck there either. Too many messages from guys who “introduced” themselves by describing what they wanted Jerrell to do to them.

But Rafi, a man who looked like he should be on the cover of GQ and was a doctor to boot, had talked to him enough to know Jerrell didn’t fit the image he projected against his will. And wanted to take him on a date anyway.

Rafi checked none of the usual boxes. He was older, put together, and just from the few brief conversations they’d had, didn’t seem like the kind of person to push someone into a stereotype. He also had Melody’s approval, and as a black trans woman, she knew plenty about people making negative assumptions. She tended to dole approval out sparingly, having dealt with altogether too many stereotypes herself.

Rafi’d been worried about infringing on Jerrell’s space. That counted for a lot, in Jerrell’s book. There’d been plenty of people who hadn’t given him that consideration.

But while Jerrell was tentatively excited to go out with Rafi, he also felt a little off-balance in the deviation from the usual pattern. He got propositioned a lot. Overt stuff. Gentle flirting was new.

At least he wouldn’t have to wait too long to see what happened next.