It was true.
Serena lay across her bed and raised the thermometer-like white stick to her eyes every few minutes to double check the pregnancy test reading.
She had as much as told Erika she was pregnant yesterday, but she hadn't known for sure. She was five weeks late, so what else could it have been?
Now it was official.
She had given the boys their baths and taken one herself, to relax her tense muscles. Afterward, she decided to pull out the EPT and get it over with. She would finally know for sure whether the signals her body had been giving her were accurate so she could begin to wrap her mind around the reality of it.
The two blue lines said it all. The McDaniels nursery was open for business.
When Micah came home tonight, she would share the news.
Serena held her stomach, which hadn't been flat for a few years now, and imagined another life growing there.
"God, you have a sense of humor," she whispered. "I take a prayer walk and tell you I need help to get myself together, and this is your response?"
She uttered the words facetiously, knowing full well that when she took that walk yesterday she already was with child. Plus, how dare she have an attitude about getting pregnant when she had struggled for years to conceive. She thought about the miscarriages, the hormone shots, the false hope she had lived with before God had decided to bless her womb naturally with twins.
Tears formed at the miracle of it all. Serena rose from the bed and shivered. It was late May, but their drafty house was often cool in the evenings. She thought about making herself a cup of tea, then remembered that she didn't have decaffeinated.
Think about the baby.
There went her Diet Cokes for the next nine months. The chocolate, she'd have to ration. Right now, socks were the next best option for warming her up quickly.
She opened her drawer but decided she didn't want to wear the thin trouser socks left over from her days in the working world. She rummaged through Micah's drawer and found a thick pair that he wore when he played basketball with Ian or some of the guys from church.
"Perfect."
When Serena pulled the folded socks from the drawer, a sliver of folded white paper floated out and hit the floor.
Where had that come from? Micah's side of the dresser top was always cluttered with papers, but this had come from the drawer.
Serena knelt to pick it up and was surprised to see a familiar handwriting. Bethany's.
She opened the torn slip of paper quickly.
Her heart raced as she read the cryptic note.
We need to talk. Call me asap. B.
Serena slumped to the floor. This had to be some kind of joke.
Not her Micah. Not with that. . . diva.
There had to be a legitimate explanation.
She sat there, wracking her brain, trying to recall if Micah had mentioned something recently about Ian or Victoria or even Bethany asking to talk with him about a matter of faith. Nothing.
Except for the letter that had come in the mail from Bethany last week. She'd meant to ask him what that was about, but had been so distracted by the Black Visionaries feature with Jason Lyons that she'd forgotten to bring it up. He hadn't bothered.
The more her imagination danced, the sicker she felt. Serena clutched her stomach and remembered. The test. The baby.
This couldn't be happening. She heard a thud that finally made her get up from the floor. As she rose, she glanced at the clock—9 p.m. and no Micah. Until an hour ago, she wouldn't have thought anything of it. Now, it could mean the worst.
Serena put one foot in front of the other and propelled herself toward the twins' room. She knew the loud bump she had heard was probably Jaden. He fell out of the bed and stayed deep in sleep on occasion—just often enough for her not to be startled. Serena found him as expected and tucked him back in with his favorite bear.
On the way back to her room, images of Bethany paraded before her eyes . . . Bethany in the form-fitting pantsuit she'd worn to church last week, just the second time she had ventured to New Hope. Bethany stopping by a few weeks ago in a tennis outfit that accentuated her long legs, just as Micah pulled into the driveway and a sweaty Serena finished cleaning the flour-covered kitchen from a mess the boys had made. Bethany calling Micah at the church last month when Serena had been in the grocery store hunting for the mischievous Jaden.
Serena sank to her knees at the foot of her bed. She turned her eyes heavenward and let her heart speak to God's.
At times like this, when she was hurting and unsure of herself, she wished she could pick up the phone and commiserate with her mother. It had been seven years since Mama's death, but when the yearning for Mama's unconditional love and wisdom was at its peak, Serena longed for her like she had slipped away just yesterday.
Mama would have understood this crisis without her uttering a word. Mama would have told her how she had made it through the rough spots in her own marriage and how Serena could navigate this nightmare.
But Mama was resting with the Lord, and as Serena had been learning in the years since her passing, she couldn't rely on anyone else's convictions. Her own faith would have to see her through.