Gabe closed Lauren’s mittened hand in his as they climbed the slippery hill. The valley was blanketed in snow. The air was crisp, the sky bright blue, and everything around them was cocooned in white silence except for the sound of the snow crunching under their feet.
Tucked into a green stocking cap was Lauren’s glorious blond hair—hair that he dreamed about draping across his body. Her sea-glass green eyes sparkled like the glistening snow.
He pulled their sled behind them. He had a choice of a one- or two-person sled. Not rocket science after last night’s incendiary kisses. He had no intention of keeping his distance. He could have been sainted for his restraint after Lauren initiated the kiss with the bed nearby and her soft, hot body calling to him.
She had been exhausted. He didn’t want her to regret anything. He wanted their first time together to be as special as this moment out in the snow. Sure beat the hell out of tramping with his unit in the Afghan Hindu Kush Range.
After his ice-skating reconnaissance mission with Georgie and Olivia, who spilled everything about Lauren, he questioned pursuing Lauren. She was a famous, successful designer who lived in NYC. What kind of life could they possibly have together? She was used to hobnobbing with the rich and famous, and he was trained to be unseen and lived nowhere according to his military record.
He wasn’t a man disposed to self-doubt or uncertainty. He couldn’t be and accomplish the work he did. But, for the first time ever, he was doubting himself. All because of the churning need for this one woman whom he had spent less than a day with. What was it about Lauren that made him willing to throw away everything he thought he believed?
Like a lovesick teenager, he had kept checking his watch, waiting, anticipating seeing her, not trusting what he felt, and questioning whether his need was just plain old lust.
Every niggling doubt and worry vanished when Lauren appeared in the lobby. Her glowing smile erased logic and logistics. Her immediate enthusiasm to go tramping through the snow was like a balm to his long years of deception.
She was right for him. He could feel it down to his bones. And he trusted his well-honed instincts since his and his unit’s existence depended on it. Now he had to convince her to give their relationship a chance.
“Did you make Tiffany cry today?” he teased.
Her sudden burst of laughter made him feel lighter than he had in years. “Thank you for not asking whether Tiffany made me cry.”
He was captivated by her mischievous grin, wanting to kiss her or, even better, take a roll in the snow with her. This might be the only private time he would get with Lauren. Tonight was the rehearsal dinner, with the guests arriving, including one guest, her date, in particular.
“Tell me that Tiffany didn’t make you cry because, despite my brother’s devotion, I will definitely make her cry.”
“Tiffany was silent for an awesome few minutes. We both got teary at how beautiful she looked in the dress. It was what I had hoped for when I designed the dress.”
“Tiffany was happy? She didn’t demand that you change your design?”
Lauren paused and turned toward him, never letting go of his hand. “I can usually feel when I’m on the right track. There is this synergy or creative sense that resonates. I was totally happy with the dress. But Tiffany’s reactions are always unpredictable.”
“You were worried about how crazy she could get?”
“An ingrained habit of preparing for the worst with my family. But a girl can always hope…” She gave a rueful laugh.
“Tiffany had to have found something wrong with the dress. I’m having trouble believing she was happy.”
“Tiffany had a lot of ‘concerns.’ Were the sleeves the appropriate length… The bodice wasn’t low enough… The veil was too short… It went on.”
“Can you change anything if the wedding is tomorrow?”
“Of course not, but I listen and reassure.” Smiling, she pulled on his hand to keep hiking.
“Devious.”
“You learn techniques.” And her dimpled grin did something to his gut.
“If there is truly a problem and not just the client’s anxiety about her appearance, then I work to make it right.”
“You obviously have to be skilled both with people and design.” He didn’t care one thing about fashion. He was interested because of Lauren and because this was her passion.
“My mother is an artist and she’s always telling me I should paint and not put up with all the crap in the fashion business. But I like the mix of creating and working with people. I don’t think I’m the type of person who’d be happy working alone in a studio.”
Gabe recognized the perfect segue for their discussion. He wasn’t satisfied any longer to be alone either, living in the shadows. He was a man who took risks. And sensitive and caring Lauren made him willing to take a risk.
“I’m not sure we’re going to have any private time until after the rehearsal dinner. We should discuss ... last night…” Gabe hesitated. He never hesitated, but this was important. He had never asked anyone to consider dating before having sex. His first response was to warn women he wouldn’t be around.
“I want to apologize. It’s so embarrassing. Thank you for your gentlemanly behavior.” She chewed on her lower lip, inviting Gabe’s attention to kiss.
“You prevented a disaster.” She looked behind him, not meeting his eyes. “Blame it on the hot chocolate, Twizzlers, or fatigue. It’s not really like me…” She shook her head. “But I’m glad that you had enough control for both of us. Imagine how we would feel if we met again at some family function. It would be so awkward.”
Gabe was stunned into silence. He was never lost for words, especially when it came to women. She was thanking him for not having sex. This was a first.
He moved closer, forcing her to look up at him, wanting her to see the need in his eyes.
“And what about the blistering passion between us? You’re ready to ignore it?”
Her pupils dilated with his words and his searing look.
“As you said, we’re at our family’s wedding. And there is the fact that I barely know you.”
“My home base is Fort Bragg in North Carolina. You will meet my entire family and my best buddy this weekend. I’ve never been married or engaged. I can go on, but you know none of this makes any difference.”
“Makes no difference?” Her voice pitched higher. “It makes no difference that my career is in New York and my field is fashion? That I know nothing of military life?”
“None of that matters. What matters is this scorching need.” He touched her cheek, needing her to feel their connection.
She pulled away, shaking her head. “You’re telling this to the woman who watched both her parents sail in and out of marriages like changing clothes. They never saw the need for making it work.”
She started to leave, then turned back. “They pursued the scorching need over and over again. They still are. They never considered whether they could build a life together, whether they were compatible.”
“I know we’re compatible,” he said calmly.
“You don’t know me, and I don’t know you. How can you say we’re compatible?”
Gabe wanted to soothe all the childhood pain that made her distrust her feelings. Instead, he moved next to her. “That’s not true. I know that you’re loyal, honest, caring.”
She shook her head again. “We’ve spent less than a day together.”
“We were in the car for hours. And I watched you with my sister and Olivia. Your kindness toward Tiffany, and your concern for my brother, and your willingness to protect Gavin by inviting Roger despite not wanting a date.”
“You make me sound like a saint, which I’m not.”
“I already know you’re not. I tasted your passion last night.”
Lauren frantically looked around, searching the empty hillside. “You shouldn’t say such things. Anyone could hear you. Georgie and Olivia will be arriving any minute.”
“Why not? We’re adults.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?”
He took her hand. “Look at me, Lauren. I get you’ve been through a lot. But, at some point, you’re going to have to trust someone. And I think I’m the guy you should trust. My entire family and buddies can testify that I’m totally trustworthy.”
“Everything you do is a secret. Georgie told me that you’ve been shot. And you disappear for months. I couldn’t live like that.”
Gabe realized that in the hours since she kissed him, she had erected all her usual defenses. She was afraid. He got it. He had never been here before either. He had years to learn to trust his instincts. Lauren hadn’t. Besides learning to trust his instincts, his work trained him to never back down, to never fail, and Lauren was his mission.
“I’ve been considering a new position. The job will keep me on the East Coast. I can’t disclose the details yet and my work will most likely have secretive elements. But I won’t be an operator any longer. I’ve been doing this work too long. It’s time for a change. Aiden, who you’ll meet tonight, is my close buddy, and he and I have been discussing leaving for a while. And if I decide against the position, my family’s corporate offices are in Manhattan.”
She studied his face, chewing on the kissable lower lip.
He took her hand into his. “Lauren, don’t shoot us down because of your fear that I’m like your father. I’m nothing like him. I’d never betray you.”
“I know.” Her lips lifted into a partial smile.
“You do? Then what’s the problem?”
“You.”
“Me? I don’t understand. Because of my dangerous work?”
“Yes.” She shook her head. “No. You make me want things … things that aren’t sensible. Things I swore I would never give into.”
Gabe couldn’t stop the shit-eating grin from spreading across his face. “Thank God. I hope to make you do very nonsensical but satisfying things.”
“I can’t do this right now. My father is about to arrive, then Tif’s mother, who hates me, and then Roger. What am I going to say to Roger?”
“You don’t have to do anything right now.” He pulled her into his arms. “Just give us a chance. A chance to get to know each other. That’s all I’m asking. I’m between deployments and would like to spend the time with you.” He lifted her chin with the tip of his finger. “Can you do that?”
She nodded.
“Together we’ll talk to Roger. He seemed like a decent guy. And I can run interference with Tif’s mother. I have a way with mothers.”
“I’m sure you do. You have a way with all women. As evidenced by my willingness to agree against my better judgment.”
“Your judgment is off-kilter because of your bastard father. The man is infamous about his affairs. All bets are off with your dad. It’s not going to take a lot not to punch your father for his abominable treatment of you.”
“Well, that sounds just like one of our family get-togethers.”