First Step: Make sure you like yourself, outside and in. If you need sprucing up, do it. Confidence will come if you like the way you look. It’s a proven fact that if you feel that you look good, you are more likely to do a better job. That doesn’t mean you need to look like a model, only that you like your appearance. Eat well, get fresh air and exercise and, treat your body to something special to feel like the best version of you possible. Personal grooming might be important for self-confidence but don’t rely completely on your appearance. Get ready to put the best you forward!
Second Step: Put yourself out there. Be more social. Be open to conversations with strangers. Smile at people you don’t know. Offer kindness, acceptance. Hold the door open for someone safe like a mom and a stroller. Start a conversation while waiting in line for coffee. Be open to interaction. Do something to surprise yourself or your friends, make them happy you stepped out of your comfort zone.
Third Step: Tell friends you are open to invitations. Make sure your biggest fans know you are making the effort and are available where you might not have been before. Get ready for opportunity to come your way. If it doesn’t, create an opportunity to challenge yourself and shine. Throw a party for your closest friends to practice and to show you’re ready.
The bridal shower was over, and Tori breathed a huge sigh of both relief and happiness. Challenge number three had been successfully executed by throwing a party for close friends. The five ladies in the bridesmaid group had all dropped whatever they’d had planned and attended the shower. Probably Maddy put in a special word about supporting Tori and coming to her apartment to help ease their friend into the month of social interaction.
Earlier, when it came time for Maddy to open presents, Tori was excited. She’d handed her small box to Maddy to open first. Maddy slid the bow off the wrapped present and inserted a perfectly manicured red nail under a fold in the paper. Taking the top off the box, Maddy grinned. She pulled out a piece of paper that read, “I will be honored to be your Maid on Honor.”
Maddy leaned over, tear in her eyes, to hug Tori and they laughed into each other’s shoulders. “I’m going to do it. I’ll stand up for you Mad-Girl,” Tori said.
She’d decided that afternoon that she had to make the effort. She might not go for the full week of activities but she could definitely attend the festivities the day before and stay for the reception.
“You have no idea what this means to me,” Maddy gushed through her tears.
Now, Tori sat on the couch with Maddy in the party aftermath laughing about the silly games they’d played, the same types of games Tori had played when Maddy threw her a bridal shower almost two years earlier.
Maddy still wore the ridiculous hat of ribbons and bows they’d made her from the presents’ packaging. The hat tied unbecomingly under her chin in a large red bow, the ends trailing down almost to her lap.
Sasha and Will had volunteered to do the cleanup and even though men weren’t invited to the shower, Tori was impressed he’d walked down the hall to her apartment at ten thirty at night to do dishes and take out the trash. Granted, he was eating the leftover food as he worked and Sasha had said he’d just returned home from filming his short film on Seattle’s homeless, but still.
“You’re a keeper,” Tori called out to Will as he lugged the garbage bag to the front door.
Maddy and Sasha smiled at her as if her ability to be part of the gang was a brand new side of Tori they’d never seen before.
“I brought your dress,” Maddy said cautiously, looking over at Tori. “I’m was hoping you’d change your mind about being my Maid of Honor if you saw the dress.”
“I wondered what was in the garment bag you hung up in my room.”
“Want to try it on?” Maddy asked.
Tori knew she couldn’t resist anything Maddy asked as long as she looked so pitiful in that bow and ribbon hat. Besides, she loved her friend who’d just proved she could put herself out there in the name of fun. “Let’s go in the bedroom and I’ll try it on,” Tori said, grabbing Maddy’s hand on the way by.
The garment bag zipper slid down like it wanted to show off the dress while Tori peeled off the clean jeans she’d worn for the party and was unbuttoning her blouse when she saw that the dress was red velvet. Her favorite, ever since she’d worn red velvet dresses at Christmas as a child along with her sister. “You’re sneaky,” she said, knowing Maddy had chosen it specifically.
Maddy handed over the luxurious dress which must’ve cost a fortune. Tori knew high quality velvet and she had to keep from crying. This was silk velvet, her favorite. Once in the strapless gown, Tori had Maddy zip it and turned to look in her bedroom mirror. The full skirt lay in soft folds against her legs, the bodice hugging her chest and back, the whole thing shimmering. The dress was stunning. “Oh, my goodness, Maddy. I will have to pay you for this work of art.”
“My Christmas present to you, Tor.”
Twirling around, the skirt billowed then settled perfectly. She resembled the mannequin in Nordstrom’s window in her red gown. Tori lifted her hair off her neck to simulate an updo and imagined rhinestone earrings and the proper shoes. “Someone better take a picture of this dress at the wedding,” she smiled at her image in the mirror.
“The wedding photographer will, I’m sure.” Maddy grinned at her friend’s reflection. “Are you glad you’re coming to the wedding now?”
“I was before I saw the dress, but now I’m even more thrilled. It’s gorgeous, Mad-Girl,” she said wondering if she could wear it somewhere on New Year’s Eve. Tori swept out of the room to show Sasha. “I need shoes now,” she called back to Maddy, feeling more excited than she had in ages, and all because of a dress.
Tori slipped along the rainy street, hood up, umbrella blocking eye contact with anyone. With Nordstroms in sight, she crossed the street and noticed the Christmas window again. Her own velvet dress was much more luxurious and detailed than the one in the pretty window scene. Tori pulled open the heavy door to the store and entered, coming into the makeup section. She was here for shoes.
Maddy and Sasha had suggested silver shoes would look festive and pretty beneath the red dress’s skirt folds. Normally, Tori would have ordered something online but today’s new task for the Christmas Challenge spurred her on to take to the streets.
Week Four: Join a club, volunteer, take a course, do something that might help you meet like-minded people, then without looking desperate, engage in small conversations with those people, show them the real you. Be genuine as you talk to strangers.
For this task, Tori would try to employ the help of the saleslady, someone who would be a stranger and would also presumably have an interest in shoes. Joining a club or volunteering somewhere seemed like a huge leap for her right now. She’d already told Maddy she was coming to the wedding and had secretly decided to be at the Lodge for four nights. She hadn’t told anyone this change of plans in case she chickened out but figured she’d need to mention that she needed two more nights soon if she expected to secure a room at Mistletoe Lodge.
When she chose a shoe that was gorgeous, perfect and a little beyond her price range, Tori found a saleslady and asked to try them on in her size. The woman didn’t appear to recognize Tori from the internet and disappeared inside the doorway to the back room. Tori sat and waited for the shoes and was hoping she could justify the expense when a text came through from her mother.
I feel terrible about being separated from you at Christmas, so I want to pay for the shoes.
She’d told her mother on the phone, earlier, that she was going to find shoes for the wedding. Tori texted back.
I’m trying on an expensive pair in the next few minutes. Maybe you can pay half. That would be wonderful but not necessary.
She added a happy face. Not being with her mom and sister at Christmas would be hard but she now had a new plan. By the time she made it home from the Christmas Eve wedding the next day, on the twenty-fifth, she’d probably be exhausted. Some people would get home in time to have Christmas dinner, but Tori didn’t have to rush back to Seattle for any reason. She might even slip by her mother’s house for a night seeing it was empty for a month.
Tori slipped on the shoes brought to her by the saleslady. They looked gorgeous with just a tiny bit of sparkle and a manageable heel. She needed to be able to walk down the aisle and stand comfortably for at least a few hours so she walked around the shoe department testing them out. The shoes were remarkably comfortable, and Tori wondered if expensive shoes always fit this well.
The saleslady was called away and Tori praised herself for making chit chat about the wedding and the dress. She’d even smiled at the saleslady without lowering her eyes afterwards. Tori gave herself a mental pat on the back, something she’d earlier advised her blog readers to do. She also suggested they reward themselves for a job well done and with the shoe box in hand, Tori wandered over to the cash register and lined up to buy the expensive shoes.
While standing in line, she complimented a lady in front of her on the shoes she was buying, and they struck up a short conversation about the rain outside and needing a warm getaway in the winter. Tori held up her shoe box and told her she was going on a snowy getaway to a destination wedding in Oregon in a few weeks. Share something of yourself. Make it short and cheerful.
“Snow sounds like fun at Christmas.” The woman in front of her had no idea what a milestone this was.
“So does sand,” Tori said, and they laughed.
Walking home from Nordstroms, the rain had stopped, and Tori didn’t use her umbrella. Instead, she walked briskly along, not making eye contact with anyone but still, not freaking out that someone might know who she was. In front of Human Bean, she decided to push herself a little and ducked inside to finally try one of the Chocolate Peppermint Lattes, the one she hadn’t had a chance to taste yet because it had spilled all over the table.
With her latte in hand and feeling like she’d already tested her comfort boundaries enough for one day, Tori sped towards home. Rounding the corner by the little foodmart, she was looking at the ad in the window that read, “Make the Day Amazing,” when she almost collided with someone. She stopped just before they knocked each other over. She jumped back. Tori had been in the wrong.
“I’m sorry,” she said, not looking any further than the guy’s jeans and GoreTex rain jacket. She stepped aside with her coffee cup to navigate around him. The coffee hadn’t spilled.
“Now we’re even,” the guy said.
Tori stopped and realized she’d almost collided with the man from the Human Bean who’d spilled her coffee. His eyes danced in amusement and she smiled in surprise. “You,” she said.
He looked at her coffee cup that read ‘Tori’. “Small world.”
“Small neighborhood,” she countered and although she knew it might push her over the social breaking point, Tori was compelled to say something more. “I live down this street.”
He nodded. “I’m staying with a friend nearby. Nice street.” His skin was coffee color, coffee with lots of cream, his hair dark and a bit on the long side touching the collar of his coat. He looked like hiking might be a weekend activity.
“The park is great and being a dead end makes the street quiet.” Tori felt like she was babbling needlessly but the man’s eyes seemed to draw her in. And his smile made her feel something like bubbles inside her gut.
“I’m glad you didn’t spill your coffee,” he said nodding to her cup.
“That would have been sad.” Tori wanted to get going and found herself inching away.
“And a coincidence,” he agreed. “See you around,” he said cheerfully and left.
Tori watched him walk away, his gait, that of someone who played sports, knew his body well, and was comfortable in his skin. When she realized she was staring and would be caught if he turned around, Tori continued down the street to her front door.
Pulling open the old glass door, she realized it had been a good day for her. Shoe shopping and, if she had to be honest, attraction to a man, had been part of her last hour. These were both good starting points for someone who’d barely been out of her apartment in a year.
Yes. It had been a very good day.