I thought Nikon and Kaius would have come to a decision on their own about what to do with the crew, but they wanted our advice. Asked us to think it over and we’d discuss it in the morning.
We’d eaten a breakfast of fish, which wasn’t bad but would be better with salt. Nikon sat on one side of me, Zoe on the other, with Kaius somewhere across from me. We’d put out the fire as the day warmed.
“Did you feed our prisoners?” I asked.
“We didn’t,” Kaius responded.
Just as well. They did try to kill some of us and turn the rest of us into the warriors. I lifted my lips in disgust.
“What should we do with them?” Nikon asked.
No one spoke.
As much as I didn’t want this, I said, “We shouldn’t kill them. Yes, they tried to kill you”—I looked between Nikon and Kaius—“but I don’t want their blood on anyone’s hands.”
“I agree,” Nikon said, and then muttered, “I’ve got too much of that already.”
I wanted to take his hand in mine and offer him comfort, but Zoe had already said we were too touchy-feely for siblings. Besides, I didn’t want to make him feel like he had to divulge more than he wanted to.
Zoe said, “What do we do with them, then? We can’t take them with us.”
“We leave them behind,” Kaius said.
“What if they’re found?” I asked. “What if they go to the warriors? Or worse, if they die, won’t it be our fault?”
“We can only do so much,” Kaius said. “What do you think, Nikon?”
“That we should leave them tied up and hope for the best. But we shouldn’t stay in Kenti too long, in case they do escape. We need to be prepared for the eventuality that they’ll find warriors and expose us.”
I gulped down my worry. “Then we do it. We leave them tied up.” And hope their souls didn’t end up on our heads. With all this talk of death and dying, we must have brought it down on us. It was amazing lightning hadn’t struck and killed us where we sat.
“Behind the bushes,” Zoe said, an abrupt spurt of words.
My throat tightened. I couldn’t think what that would mean. “We should go through their things. See if there’s anything we can use.” We were turning into thieves, as well as killers.
“I’m on it,” Zoe said.
Kaius added, “I’ll help.”
“And I’ll take care of the men,” Nikon said.
“You’re not…” The words didn’t want to come.
“I’m just going to make certain their bonds are tight so that they can’t escape on their own.”
“Where are they now?” I asked.
“Far enough in the bushes that they shouldn’t be able to hear us.” Nikon gripped my shoulder. “I’ll be back soon.”
“I’m counting on it.” After he left, I said, “It’s just you and me, Tewy.”
Tewy squawked from my far left.
“He’s over here, with us,” Zoe said. “He’s finding all the good stuff and doesn’t want to share.”
I laughed. Of course he was. “I’ll help.”
With the three of us and Tewy working together, it didn’t take long to go through the crew’s things. When Nikon’s hand brushed my arm, we’d gone through everything.
“Time to go up the river,” he said.
We shuffled in the boat and sat in the middle, where the crew had been yesterday. Each of us took an oar. I didn’t help while we got off the sandbank, but as soon as we were in the middle of the river, I put my oar in the water, felt the current pulling against it, and pushed.
Nikon gave me directions from his spot directly behind me, but otherwise no one spoke. The only noise besides the river was that of Tewy, who made himself well known by chattering, hooting, and generally making a racket.
As we went, I thought of what was to come. If we found my parents, what would they think of my trying to help the rebellion? If they scorned what I wanted to accomplish, I’d be worse off—both emotionally and how much I wanted to help people fight against the Reding and Vading’s rule. Or maybe how I felt about my parents—which I was uncertain of anyway.
As much as I wanted to stand on my own, their thoughts had mattered to me. Perhaps that was why I’d taken their blinding me extra hard. They hadn’t done it on purpose, and I’d lived a good life before that. I didn’t just want to find them; I needed to find them, so I could apologize for being so angry with them—if I could manage to overcome the emotion myself. I never should have let things grow so heated between us.
With them causing the loss of my sight, I hadn’t thought I’d want to be with them as much as I did, but they were in the forefront of my thoughts. If I could find them and forgive them, maybe the knot in my chest would leave me be.
The thoughts weren’t getting me anywhere useful, instead bringing a scowl to my lips. As we journeyed through the days and slept on the sandbank at night, I tried to think of other, more useful things, like where we could find my parents and how I could help the rebellion stop floundering as it seemed to be.
After four days on the water, passing many other boats but thankfully none that seemed to pay us heed, Nikon said, “There’s a dock up ahead.”
“Kenti?” I asked.
“Most certainly,” he said.
My fear tried to bubble up. Would we find my parents alive? Unharmed? Would they want me? Would the warriors discover us before we could find them? I shoved the worries back down. “Are there many people around?”
“We picked a good time of day to come. Midmorning isn’t terribly busy, but there’s some activity around so we’ll have to be cautious.”
“Should I give you my cane?” I asked.
“If you’re comfortable without it. Zoe or I can be your eyes,” he said.
Tewy let out a cry.
Nikon laughed. “And you too, of course, Tewy.”
Tewy gave an ooooh, sounding much more content, making me laugh.
“My seeing-eye monkey is motivated, but not as helpful as a person,” I said.
A couple of thumps on the bottom of the boat headed my way, and Tewy jumped on my shoulder. He yanked on my hair.
I said, “Sorry, bud, but it’s the truth. I love you always, though.”
He chatted, sounding somewhat mollified.
“We’ll be within hearing distance soon,” Nikon whispered.
In other words, no more talking about danger-inducing things. I could live with that.
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the river air. It would have been nice if memories had come with it—I’d spent many summers splashing in this very water—but no specific memories came. It was as if my memories of this place had been erased. The thought made me frown.
The sound of chatter, water splashing, and people moving about filled the river. Our boat stopped moving, and the wood beneath me shifted.
“I’ll give you a hand up the dock,” Nikon whispered.
“Thanks.” I gave Nikon my cane, and together with Tewy, I found his hand and let him guide me to the dock, where I stepped up.
Zoe said, “I’m here.”
I reached out, found her arm, and took it. We strolled down the dock, its uneven planks under my sandaled feet making a light thud. She stepped off on the soft crunching of sand, and I followed. The grains were loose, making walking more slippery than I liked. The footfalls behind me sounded like Kaius’s. Did that mean Nikon was ahead of me or behind me?
Zoe led me forward until a male voice said, “What’s your business?”
“We’re looking for work,” Nikon said behind me.
“Ain’t none.”
I pouted, to give the impression that the news upset me. It was concerning, though, if we couldn't find a reason to stay in town long enough to discover anything about my parents.
Nikon replied, “We’ll have a look around, and if we can’t find any, we’ll be on our way to another town.”
Someone in front of us spat.
The man said, “Don’t need to bother looking, I can tell you we don’t need more odiosom like you around.”
Ah. An amant, and an extra antagonistic one, from the sounds of it. I wanted to tell him we wouldn’t cause any trouble, but didn’t want to bring any attention to myself.
Nikon’s voice came again, only this time it was directly to my left. “I understand, but we must look.”
“Don’t come crying when you find nothing but hate toward your kind. You’re nothing but a nuisance.”
A nuisance who formed the backbone of society. Why couldn’t the amant see that? Whether they were among the rich amant who didn’t have to do much or more of a middle class that worked, they wouldn’t be able to function without the odiosom doing the nitty-gritty jobs. I wasn’t about to tell him that, though.
Another sound of someone spitting, closer this time. Tewy screeched, and I clenched my jaw to keep from cringing, as the crunch of footsteps headed toward other voices.
Zoe nudged me forward. I hoped I wasn’t about to step in a big wad of spit. Whatever we were going to do, I wanted away from this pier, and fast. Had it always been like this in Kenti? Had my parents and I been as stuck up and rude as that amant had been? I didn’t think so, but maybe my memory was playing tricks on me that would leave me with a better taste of my childhood than the reality.
“Where to?” Kaius asked, several steps in.
“We lived on the other side of town,” I said. “One of the last houses before it gave way to the desert, on the northwest part of town.” What would we find there? Part of me hoped to find my parents, but if we did, what would they be doing there and not trying to find me? I clenched my teeth against the resentment building inside me. I shouldn’t think like that, but it was difficult not to.
“That’s where we’ll head, then.”
“And if on the way we happen to find something to eat besides campfire fish, all the better,” Zoe added.
I couldn’t help but agree. As anxious as I was to see if my parents were here or if anyone had heard anything about them, I wouldn’t turn my nose up at some good food. Tewy climbed from my shoulder and Zoe laughed.
She said, “He’s never been so friendly before. Did you get him in Kenti?”
He must have been teasing her. “No. I got him when Antonia moved me by the waterfall. She spent a lot of time training him to do what she wanted.” At least he was with me and appeared to be on my side. After he alerted the Vading of my presence, I feared he’d never really be mine, but once he threw poop at her, I knew he didn’t truly care for the woman. He might make a mess of my room sometimes or pull my hair or bring me bugs, but he was just playing.
I couldn’t place the smell of the city—a floral scent like a woman had just walked past, and the slight bit of body odor mixed with the more masculine-scented sandalwood, as if a worker had tried to cover his stench. Sounds like the conversation, low so I couldn’t make out specific words, and the slap of leather footwear traipsing across stone met my ears. None of it brought back memories. It was like a new place I’d never been in before.
Perhaps it was because I hadn’t spent much time in the city blind. Really, I’d gone from the river, where my parents put sand on my eyes and I became sightless, straight back to our home. There wasn’t anything I’d done in the city to gain the memories without sight. I thought I’d at least remember something, but perhaps it’d been too long.
Despite Zoe’s words, we didn’t stop to eat anything. We continued on our way, moving through the city, passing by people talking and laughing, though nobody approached us. The deeper we went into the city, the less jovial people seemed to be. The loud chatter turned to a quieter talk which I couldn’t make out. People’s footsteps moved faster too, as if they were in a hurry to be somewhere.
I wanted to ask questions about what was going on around us—what things looked like and how people were acting—but I didn’t dare speak without knowing what was going on. That’d been happening a lot more than I wanted.
“We’re having trouble finding your old residence. You’re going to have to give us more to go on,” Nikon finally said. “There are several houses before us on the northwest side of town, like you said.”
“Wait,” Zoe said. “Don’t you remember where your own parents lived, Nikon?”
It really wasn’t adding up. I couldn’t blame her, and wouldn’t if she was angry at us for keeping secrets, but it was time to get rid of at least some of them.
“We’re not really brother and sister,” I said. “It’s only right that you know.”
“You’re amant? That’s why you’re always touching each other.” Zoe’s voice was pitched high, despite the quiet tone. “But how can that be? You’re blind.”
Tewy gave a sad ooo and climbed up my arm to settle on my shoulder.
I shook my head. “No, we’re odiosom.”
“How can that be? Why are you sticking so close together if you’re not related and not amant? I mean, people are close, but you two are extremely close.”
“It’s a long story,” Nikon chimed in. “There’s no time for it now.”
Zoe came to a stop. “It’s not like we have a specific place to go, since you both haven’t been truthful. I understand you might have reasons for that, but no one’s around, I’d like a few more details.”
“We met by accident where I lived before Itpy,” I said.
She did have a right to hear. After all, she’d come all this way with us, and had protected us. “Nikon’s right—there’s no time to get into it all now—but after we met, there were some circumstances that made it difficult to stay where I was. He insisted I go with him, to stay safe, and we’ve been close ever since.”
“I’ll say. I’ve never seen two people closer without being amant.” She sounded suspicious.
Kaius jumped in. “But they have a right to be, if they want, Zoe. If they’re close odiosom, let them be. It doesn’t hurt anyone.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so jumpy.”
“It’s fine, but we should find where we need to go now and talk later,” Nikon said.
I searched back in my dim memories of sight, to remember what it was like. “My mother used to sing, her eyes lighting up when she did so. I could hear her voice while I played outside among the green plants while she sang. She had the only garden in the area. It was one of the few that grew around here.”
“There’s a dead garden at that house,” Kaius said.
Nikon replied, “Let’s try it.”
I hated to think that my mother’s garden was dead, but it made sense, if she wasn’t here. The bit of resentment I’d been carrying around plummeted with my hopes for finding them. As we walked forward, I couldn’t help but think of what was to come. I hadn’t a clue and was anxious to find out. I just hoped whoever was in the house now had information about them.