CHAPTER THIRTY 
CHAPTER THIRTY 
THE CAVE WAS QUIET that morning. Everyone had had a good night’s sleep and was just waking up. The wild goats, the raccoons, the many new residents…all stretched and lazed in their spots, all well rested. Except one—a pug with one black foot and a few hairless patches of skin just starting to grow back in on his body. But, to him, the one black foot was enough to award him the title of rightful heir to the kingdom his brother was about to take over.
Jonah had tossed and turned through the night. One time he awoke to find Malcolm next to him, after he got back from Benjamin’s, wearing a devious smile. Jonah made a few failed attempts to extract the secret Malcolm had decided to keep from him. “In the morning… Your Majesty,” was all he would say.
The light from the first rays of the sun started to shine off the crystal blue sides of the pool. Clementine awoke refreshed, as did Roscoe and his clan of wild goats. “You see, ladies and gentlemen? You see what I had to sleep next to every night? Whoop!”
“G’morning!” Clementine said with glee.
“G’morning?” Roscoe asked, feigning exhaustion. “Now, let me think… I don’t believe ‘G’morning’ was one of the words you shouted in your sleep. Did any of you guys hear him say ‘G’morning’? Whoop!” They shook their heads and laughed.
“Well, it’s funny you say that because I certainly heard you Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! in your sleep last night.”
Roscoe had no comeback. “Fine, we’ll call it even… Whoop!”
Most of the animals were now up and around. To the amazement of the original residents, more than half of the food was still left.
Malcolm stretched and yawned himself awake. Jonah had been staring at him for hours, anxiously waiting for him to wake up. “Good morning…now what is this news?!”
The raccoon lazily laughed, enjoying Jonah’s eagerness. “Oh, my, I needed that sleep.” He got to his feet and walked past the antsy pug.
“Hey!”
“Good morning, little brother,” Mac said smugly. “Will you be attending my coronation tonight?”
“I think I’ll be washing my fur,” Jonah said, unimpressed.
Mac looked his brother up and down. “Doesn’t look like you have much to worry about. I’m glad I didn’t go bald.” He walked off laughing at his own joke.
Malcolm overheard and fought to control his anger. We’ll get him back!
“Malcolm, please tell me what this news is.”
“I will, Jonah. I will. But first I need to have a talk with my boys. Can you please give us a moment of privacy in the tunnel?”
Jonah sighed. “Sure.”
“Come here, guys.” The four other raccoons followed Malcolm. They huddled in the darkness of the tunnel. Malcolm took a deep breath. “Now I gotta tell you boys, that snotty little Mac is really getting on my nerves.”
Zeke snorted. “Yeah, and he’s gonna be their king?!”
The others laughed in the darkness. “You won’t see me taking orders from him.” “Me neither.” “And I’ll tell you who else won’t bow down to him…Jonah!” All agreed. “That poor guy takes so much from his brother!” “Yeah. He deserves to be their king.”
“Alright,” Malcolm settled them. “I need your help with something. And it means we’ll be going back home tonight.”
The others were happy to hear that news. “What do you need us to do?”
“I went over to the human’s house last night and he showed me a weapon that will be used to kill that monster snake.” The raccoons gasped. “Only he intends to have ‘King Mac’ involved in the operation.”
“Are you kiddin’ me?” Zeke said in disbelief. “That little dog couldn’t hurt a cat!”
“I hate cats…” Malcolm muttered, then collected himself. “So what I want us to do is sneak into the boy’s house and bring back that weapon into the woods!” His eyes got huge.
“What if we get caught, Malcolm?”
“He told me they’ll all be gone until tonight. And I know exactly how to get in. But if for some odd reason they do come back and catch us…hey, we’re raccoons! This is what we’re supposed to do! Am I right or am I right?” They laughed. “We should leave here pretty soon. Why don’t you guys go keep watch on the human’s house. But make sure you’re not seen if they come out. I’ll tell Jonah what’s going on.”
BENJAMIN SLEPT LATE. Carol had to bang on his bedroom door and tell him they were leaving for church in fifteen minutes. He had no time to get the newspaper. He threw on his clothes and wet down his sandy-blonde bed head. As he tucked in his shirt in the bathroom door mirror, he went over in his mind everything that would happen in his schedule that day.
Okay, first church…then the family reunion…
He poured a handful of water on the back of his head to plaster the few wild hairs that refused to lie down.
I’ll get the fireworks from Jon, then Mom and Dad will take me to the Harvest Home Festival where.… He took a deep breath, imagining the smell of Jessica’s hair. The Watermelon Queen will hang out with me all night. Was there something else?
He smacked his forehead with his palm.
Duh! Mac is being crowned king tonight!
He pondered giving away his collar. “He is Pugsly’s son, but I do kinda wish Jonah was king instead.”
His mom hollered at him and the Biggses drove down the driveway. A light breeze still blew through the window downstairs.
“ALRIGHT, MALCOLM, what is this about?” Jonah looked him straight in the eye.
Zeke scampered up to them. “Malcolm! Malcolm! The boy and his family just left!”
Malcolm’s eyes darted all around. “Okay, Zeke. Let’s go.” Malcolm started to run, then turned back. “Look, I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry. Everything’s going to work out just fine. You’re going to be a hero!” He winked and disappeared into the tunnel.
“…‘Coons.” Jonah sighed.
FIVE BLACK MASKS peeked through the large basement window. “Alright, fellas. Stand back.” Malcolm jumped up and grabbed the top lip of the window sill with a claw. Holding on tightly he got the rest of his claws on it and gave it a yank. It swung down, carrying him to the ground. “Voila!” He presented the opening with stretched out arms.
“Nice work, Malcolm!”
“Now, just follow me.” Malcolm stepped onto the window pane and jumped off onto the card table, then to the floor.
Zeke was next…then one of them gasped. “They’re back! Hurry!” Zeke jumped in, the other three behind him.
“Oh, no! Oh, no! What’ll we do?”
They could hear the car door open and Carol’s voice. “I’ll only be a minute. I don’t want to show up without an extra crock pot.” The front door opened and loud steps crossed the ceiling, growing louder as she made her way down the stairs. Zeke stood frozen in fear. Malcolm grabbed him and pulled him under the card table with the others. “Don’t move!” his lips enunciated.
Carol came around the corner, singing off key. She crossed the room and opened the storage next to Benjamin’s bedroom. Her singing got louder, and worse, as she moved old boxes and items out of the way that had never sold at garage sales. Malcolm and Zeke held their paws over the mouth of another for fear he would burst out laughing. When she came back into the main room, a gust of wind cooled her. “Oh, Benjamin!” She stomped over to the card table and set the crock pot down. The raccoons shivered. Carol grabbed a hooked stick and pulled the window shut, snapping the latch into place. Then she grabbed her crock pot and went upstairs.
“Whew!” Malcolm said, relieved. “That was a close one.”
“I think bullfrogs can sing better than her!” Zeke puckered his lips, “Mmm, maybe not.”
They watched the Biggs’s car drive back down the driveway. “Okay, it’s this way.” Malcolm led them into Benjamin’s room. The morning light through his little window lit the room enough to see. The four raccoons gasped at the “pig” sitting against the back wall.
“What is that thing?!”
“That, gentlemen, is what Jonah and I are gonna use to kill the snake.”
“How?”
“You’ll see!” Malcolm pointed inside the hollow barrel. “Looky here. He’s got these weird things that you can talk into and your voice comes out the other side.”
Zeke climbed on top of Benjamin’s desk and grabbed the other walkie-talkie. “This, Malcolm?”
“Yeah, that’s the other one.”
“How do they work?”
“I dunno. It’s weird human stuff.”
Zeke played with it, pressing a few buttons—including the “on” button—then put it down.
“I’m not worried about those things. We just need this!” Malcolm knocked his knuckles on the wooden side.
“Are you sure we can carry it?” Zeke tinkered with the hatch and caused it to close.
“Well, let’s give it a try.” They all took a place around the Trojan Pig and found they could lift it with ease. “This isn’t so bad!”
The five of them carried it out of Benjamin’s room and over to the card table. They put it down and stared up at the window Carol had closed.
“Uhhhh…” Zeke reflected. “Any idea how we’re going to get out?”
Malcolm climbed onto the card table and stood as tall as he could. He tapped his little fist on the glass. It felt breakable. He jumped down and started looking around.
“What are you looking for?”
He ignored the others and searched the carpet along the wall. “Aha! This’ll do!” He held up a shiny, blue-swirled marble that never got vacuumed up and moved away from the window. He snickered. “You guys better stand back. This could get messy!” They took refuge behind him and watched their friend swing his arm back, then forward in a blur. Crash! Shards of glass flew everywhere, inside the room and outside on the grass above.
“Nice shot!”
Malcolm turned around and smiled. “Now, let’s get this thing outta here.” They tipped the barrel onto the card table and heaved it through the broken window, snapping off a few long shards still stuck in the sill. Then they hopped out and scurried across the front yard, the Trojan Pig above their heads. They hid it behind the hedge trees on the other side of the road. “Okay, that wasn’t so bad. Now just wait here. I’m gonna go get our little friend, King Jonah.” Malcolm hopped into the fox den.
Jonah stood alone in a corner watching his brother talk to the new residents of the kingdom. The arrogant look on Mac’s face made Jonah want revenge. I could tell those gawking squirrels about his little bed-wetting problem when we were pups….
Someone grabbed Jonah by the back leg. He spun around.
Malcolm grinned with excitement. “Come on! I wanna show you something!”