CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE 
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE 
CHURCH WAS DISMISSED AT NOON. “Good sermon, today,” Tom said, hoping Carol and Benjamin had forgotten the few times he’d snored out loud.
Benjamin was pleased with the service, though all he remembered was Reverend Landreth boastfully announcing he’d win back his blue ribbon for the heaviest pumpkin. Some folks coughed out “Cheater!” causing the congregation to laugh.
The Biggses went to the grocery store to grab a few last things for the family reunion at the town park. The only thing on Benjamin’s mind, besides Jessica Howell, was the sack of fireworks his cousin Jon would be bringing.
JONAH STOOD AMONG THE RACCOONS, staring at the Trojan Pig in the hedge trees. “Okay, so what’s this?”
“This is what we’re gonna use to kill that monster snake!”
“The one whose skin we saw in the woods?” Jonah asked fearfully.
“Yes, the one terrorizing the entire forest. The reason all those new residents fled Persly’s Woods.”
“So, if we kill it…” Jonah thought out loud.
“…then you will be the hero!” Malcolm finished, opening his eyes wide.
Jonah smiled. “Yeah…I would be a hero. I would be the hero and my no-good brother would just be the king who sat there and did nothing.”
“And they’ll have no choice but to make you their king! So…” Malcolm exhaled loudly, “are you ready to go become a hero?”
“Yes!” Jonah’s face was full of determination. “L-let me go back inside and say something. I’ll be right back!” He jumped in the fox den hole.
“What’s he doing?” Zeke asked.
“I dunno. Probably gonna give his brother a kiss goodbye.” They laughed. “You boys ready to carry this thing for a while?”
“Where’s it going?”
Malcolm gritted his teeth with guilt. “Uh, to the eastern edge of Persly’s Woods.”
“What?!”
“We can make it. Don’t worry. You’ll be sleeping back in your soft grass beds tonight,” he reassured them.
JONAH HEARD LOUD TALKING in the cave. The loudest voice, of course, was Mac’s. He was talking to a group of ogling bunnies. Jonah coughed and got everyone’s attention. Mac turned. “Jonah, we’re not ready to crown me yet. That’s tonight. So you can go out and play with your little raccoon friends.” Some of the animals laughed.
Jonah glared. “Oh, I won’t be attending your crowning, so don’t wait up for me, okay?” He turned to leave, then stopped and addressed everyone. “Oh yeah, and don’t worry about that pesky monster that’s been eating up all of your friends in the forest. I’ll just go ahead and take care of it, since my brother won’t. Farewell!” Jonah stuck out his wimpy chest and dashed into the tunnel. Mac was dumbstruck.
Jonah popped out of the fox den and joined the raccoons. He had a mischievous smile. “Okay, let’s go!”
When the Biggses arrived at the park, the wind picked up. A few families were already there, but Benjamin didn’t see Jon. I sure hope he makes it soon! For another half hour he watched relatives arrive he’d never seen before. Finally to his delight, he recognized his Aunt Debbie’s face as she and his Uncle Phil got out of their car. Another person opened the door behind them. Benjamin smiled when he saw Jon’s brown, curly hair above the windshield. They clutched their food and sacks tightly. The wind was blowing anything it could away.
Jon walked up to Benjamin. “Couldn’t have picked a better day!”
“Nope!” Benjamin laughed, looking at his cousin’s sack. “Is that the—”
“Hamburger buns? Yeah, you asked me to bring hamburger buns, right? Here ya go!” Jon tossed him the sack of buns and plates, then beamed. “Oh, alright. They’re in the car. Give me a minute and I’ll grab ‘em.”
Benjamin felt antsy. Jon stopped to say ‘hi’ to everyone before they went to the car. Then Jon teased him by pulling out random things…an ice scraper, a road map. Finally he grabbed a large paper sack that bulged at the sides. “Paper or plastic?” He dropped it into Benjamin’s hands, causing his arms to give a little.
“Man! What did you put in here?!”
“I made those cherry bombs extra special!” Jon flashed his teeth as the wind blew his hair wildly.
“How many are in here?”
“Five.” His straight face almost cracked.
“Five?” Benjamin’s jaw dropped.
“You said you were gonna blow up a dinosaur. I figured three wouldn’t be enough!” Jon laughed and slapped Benjamin on the back.
“Wow! What else did you put in here?”
“Basically about five times more of everything than I gave you last time.” Jon perked up. “Oh! I also added something new this time. Let me look in there.” He rummaged and found what he was looking for—a square red, white, and blue box.
“What’s that?”
“Saturn Missiles. You ever seen ‘em?” Benjamin shook his head. “Fifty little screaming missiles shoot one-by-one out of the top of this!” He pointed at the top of the box and wiggled his hand around like a missile. “So if you happen to drop it after you light it,” A devilish smile came over him, “you’d better run like heck and pray it’s not pointed at you.”
“Cool!”
“Yeah, I put a couple of ‘em in there for ya.” He pushed the sack back into Benjamin’s hands. “Enjoy!”
Benjamin had what he wanted, and more. He envisioned the Trojan Pig being swallowed by the gargantuan snake, the fuse slowly shortening to detonation, and BOOM! He smiled as he put the sack in his parents’ car…as far under the seat as it would go.