Chapter Twenty

ANNIE AWOKE TO the smell of frying bacon and voices chattering in the kitchen below. The morning light filtered through the lace curtains, casting muted sunshine on the faded wallpaper. She let herself imagine for a moment the voices were her mother and grandmother, instead of Stella and her grandmother.

If her mother had lived. It was a phrase she often toyed with in her mind when she missed her the most. If her mother had lived she would be downstairs now with her grandmother, puttering about in the kitchen, making lists for the wedding, managing her grandmother’s fears, helping Annie with her fears, and making them both laugh in the process.

A tear slipped out of her eye and wet the pillow. Annie turned toward the window and let the dampness soak into her cheek.

A gentle knock sounded at her bedroom door.

“Annie, Beulah wanted me to tell you it’s time for breakfast.”

“Thanks, Stella, I’ll be right down.”

Stella was good company for her grandmother, especially since Annie worked so much now and spent every free minute with Jake. When Annie left for Jake’s cottage after the wedding, it was a comfort to know Beulah and Stella had each other for company. As independent as her grandmother was, Annie knew she loved having someone to cook for and share meals with—as long as that person didn’t fight for her kitchen. There seemed no danger of that with Stella.

Beulah leaned against the kitchen counter in her work dress and her comfortable shoes of a certain brand worn by women over seventy.

“Good morning,” Annie said, and made her way to the percolator.

“Morning,” Beulah said. “Sleep well?”

“Like a baby. This regular forty-hour work week is new to me. I’ve never appreciated Saturday mornings so much.” Annie sat at the table with her coffee and folded her legs under her.

She watched her grandmother take the ham out of the iron skillet and add coffee to the grease for red-eye gravy.

“Where’d Stella go?” Annie managed.

“Stella is taking care of the chickens this morning. I needed a couple more eggs.”

Annie started. “I forgot.”

“It’s all right, she likes doing it. After breakfast, Woody’s taking her to see his mother today at the nursing home.” Beulah poured the red-eye gravy into a gravy boat.

“Sounds like the relationship is moving along.”

“Yes, I believe it is. He’s been faithful to honor his mother and even though she’s not very responsive, I suppose he wants Stella to meet her anyway. Not many people survive a horse kick to the head,” Beulah said. “She’s been laying there now for all these years.”

“Grandma, Angelina found the perfect place for the wedding. It’s a chapel right next door to Benito and Angelina. It’s being used for ceramics, but they are friends with the lady who owns it and she’s agreed to open it up for the wedding. Best of all, no charge.”

“Is that right?” Beulah turned from the stove. “Now that is wonderful.”

“It seems Benito and Angelina are well loved in their community. Everyone wants to help now that he’s found his American family.”

***

Beulah’s face glowed. “I can’t wait to meet them, although I admit I’m scared to death of the plane ride.”

“We’ll help you with that. Jake booked you in business class, so there’s more room. We’ll introduce you to the captain so you can see for yourself who is in charge. These big planes have so many back-up systems in case things fail. They’re far safer than driving to Somerville.”

“I don’t doubt it, but when I drive to town, I’m in control of the car, not some unknown pilot.”

The back door opened and Annie shivered against the cold air that swirled into the room.

“Good morning.” Stella unbundled her coat and her rosy cheeks glowed against her fair skin.

“Morning. How cold is it?” Annie asked.

“Warmer than Chicago,” she said. “I know you all think it’s cold, but this feels like early spring to me. Here are your eggs.”

Beulah took the brown eggs, then cracked them one by one on the side of the iron skillet.

“I’ll set the table,” Annie said.

“What can I do?” Stella asked.

“Pour the orange juice, then y’all sit down.”

“Stella, do you have any family members living?” Annie asked after thanks was given.

“Not that I know about. I went into the foster care system when I was four and both my parents died. I don’t have much memory of them or what they looked like, but I do have memories of being safe and loved. What about you, Annie? I know your mother died, but what happened to your father?”

“He left my mother when I was a baby, so I don’t have any memories of them together. I guess the responsibility of a wife and child was too much that young, so he left. Really left. He took a job overseas and in most recent years, he’s been in Spain.”

“Spain?” Stella asked. “What kind of job is that?”

“He’s a mud engineer. He works for a company that contracts out his type of work to the oil companies. He lives in Malaga because he likes it there and there’s a large ex-patriot community. He could live anywhere, since he moves to different drilling sites where he’s working.”

“How glamorous,” Stella said. “It sounds like something in a book.”

Annie thought about her father’s apartment in Malaga, a place she had visited three or four times when she worked for the airline. It wasn’t glamorous at all. It was a small, sparse apartment in a nondescript building. Pete’s bar was on the bottom floor of the building, and his favorite restaurants were all within walking distance.

“Spain is wonderful,” Annie said. “Not sure I’d call my father’s life glamorous. He was just here, by the way.”

“Your father?” Stella said. “I can’t imagine that. You’re lucky to have a father.”

Annie chewed her ham and realized Stella was right. For all his faults, she still had a father.

After breakfast, Annie shooed Stella out the door when Woody arrived, reassuring her that she would clean the breakfast dishes for Beulah this morning.

It was now Beulah’s turn to sit at the table and sip her last cup of coffee for the morning while Annie busied herself with the dishes. Her grandmother had always been resistant to a dishwasher, an appliance Annie had made sure they budgeted for in the stone house.

“Grandma, how did my parents meet?”

“Well, goodness, let me think. I believe it was at the county fair that June, right after her high school graduation. Your father swept Jo Anne right off her feet. From the moment they met, they were inseparable. Fred and I didn’t like it. Not only because of Eddie’s family background—we could have got over that if he was honorable. It was too much, too fast. A body can’t make a right decision when you’re caught up in a whirlwind. That’s what happened to Jo Anne. She fell headlong into the excitement of him and all his big plans and hopes for seeing the world. We tried everything to get them to slow down, but all we did was push Jo Anne towards Eddie.” Beulah sighed.

“Labor Day weekend, Jo Anne went out with Eddie that Saturday and didn’t come home. We were worried sick. Fred walked the floors all night. I don’t think either of us got a bit of sleep. Finally, late that Sunday afternoon, she showed up, without Eddie, to tell us she was pregnant and married. They had gone off to Jellico, Tennessee. Back then, you had to wait three days in Kentucky once you decided to get married for blood tests and such. But not in Tennessee. Jellico was the first town over the state line and it became the site of many a shotgun wedding or elopement.”

Annie sat, mesmerized by the story, imagining her mother as a young woman, rebellious and in love.

“So how long did he stay after I was born?”

Beulah looked down at her coffee cup, and then placed it on the table. “He never came home from the hospital. He left that day.”

The revelation stunned Annie. “That day?”

Beulah nodded. “Did your mama never tell you?”

“She never talked about it,” Annie said. “I’ve always heard he left when I was a baby, so I assumed that meant a few months into it.”

Beulah shook her head. “He didn’t leave the area right away, and he did come and visit a few times after you were born. I believe he didn’t want to get attached to you. It was all too much for him.”

“Wow. How did Mom handle that? I can’t imagine Jake leaving me the day I had his child.”

“She never told us much, but I don’t think they had many good days once they got married. Eddie couldn’t handle responsibility like that. I’m sorry, Annie. I don’t mean to talk bad of him, it’s simply how it was back then. They hardly knew each other. Jo Anne wasn’t surprised when he moved out while she was at the hospital, but she was awful sad.”

“Claustrophobic,” Annie said.

“What’s that?”

“That’s what Dad said once when I asked him why he left. He said he grew ‘claustrophobic.’”

“I’ll be honest,” Beulah said. “I was a little relieved when he left. We were able to step in and help her without his influence. I figured she’d marry again—some nice young man who could be a proper father to you. But, it didn’t happen that way.”

“Did Mom ever date anyone else?”

“She went out from time to time while we babysat you, but nothing lasted more than a couple of dates. She—” Beulah’s voice trailed off. “Well, I guess that’s enough about this.” Beulah carried her coffee mug to the kitchen sink.

“No, Grandma, please don’t stop. I want to hear it all.”

Her grandmother turned and looked at her, as if to make sure.

“I really do,” Annie said. “All of it.”

Beulah frowned. “I reckon Jo Anne never got over Eddie. There wasn’t anyone else she wanted. And that’s why I’ve always been wary of your father. It wasn’t that he left the first time, it was because he didn’t come back when she was sick.”

“Why would he?”

“Because I asked him to. I had no choice. Jo Anne got weaker and we moved you all over here so we could tend to both of you better. As the disease took its toll, she often cried out for him.” Beulah’s voice broke at the memory. “I’m surprised you don’t remember, but you were in school all day and we kept you busy outside as much as possible. It was agonizing to hear. I began to believe that if Eddie could come one time and hold her hand, it would comfort her before she passed into the next world. I called him and begged him to come. He said no, he was sorry and all, but he couldn’t come. Jo Anne died a week later.”

Annie felt her chest tighten. She reached for a napkin and wiped her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have told you all that,” her grandmother said. “I finally granted your father forgiveness, although it did take me a while. I realized later he was simply incapable of it.”

“He’s had so many opportunities to choose love, but instead he runs away,” Annie’s voice came out in a whisper.

“Some folks set themselves on a path and can’t turn back. If they do, they’ll face too many ghosts. So, they keep on a-going.”