Chapter Six

“I’m sorry we had to leave, Mama.” Brianna’s voice, edged with regret, sounded from the back seat. “I wanted to stay and dance, but it was too loud.”

“You did a good job asking for what you needed. And it was loud. I’m sorry we forgot your headphones. I thought they were in the car.”

“I left them at school. Miss Dale was pretty in her dress.”

“She was.”

Brianna hummed “Just Sing” from Trolls World Tour as Amari exited onto the highway back to Sikesville.

Amari chewed the inside of her mouth as she mulled over the chance meeting with Thalia in her mind. Thalia’s exquisite skin-tight sheath dress had displayed her assets in a way that had made Amari’s mouth water. Her mouth, even sexier than Amari remembered, had moved her into a public display of affection, the first in many years. Amari’s lips tingled with the memory of their kiss. A sliver of regret needled her mind. She had been so focused on getting Brianna out of the hall she had not said goodbye to Thalia.

Brianna broke into song and belted the lyrics for “True Colors.” She glanced in the rearview mirror at her child. Her ability to sing in perfect pitch, as easy as breathing for Brianna, still amazed Amari. Brianna’s eyes were fixed on something only she could see as she sang.

A long keloid scar marred the smooth skin of Brianna’s forehead. It shone darker against her skin, a frightful souvenir of Amari’s last girlfriend’s impatience with Brianna’s behavior. Anger surfaced again. Raw and hot, Amari stuffed it back into the darkest part of her heart, right next to the guilt that suffused her from putting her own desires ahead of her child’s safety.

Thalia had seemed fine with Brianna at the wedding. But an afternoon when Brianna was having a good day was not the reality of their lives. Amari returned her gaze to the road as memories of that day resurfaced. Anger and guilt swirled through her chest and spilled over her. A yawning pit of recrimination opened in her stomach as she relived the trauma of not being able to block Riely’s slap. The image of Brianna falling to the sidewalk, and blood, so much blood, and her wails as they drove to the hospital for stitches shoved their way front and center in Amari’s thoughts.

Anger. Guilt. Sadness. All of it wrapped up in a tidy bundle Amari usually kept locked safely inside. Amari had never enjoyed tossing someone’s clothes out of a window more. She had made a promise to herself as she flung Riely’s possessions into the yard. No more girlfriends, no more dating, until Brianna was grown.

Brianna had cried for days afterward. Too young to understand why, only knowing an adult she trusted and loved had hurt her, and then left.

“Do you think Grammy will eat all the spring rolls Ms. Thalia gave us to bring home?” The crinkle of Brianna picking at the foil along the edge of the covered plate on her lap punctuated her words.

Amari lifted her gaze to the rearview briefly before she returned it to the road.

“I don’t know. How many did she give you?”

“Ten.”

Amari laughed as she pulled the car into the driveway. The light filtered through the trees and made floating shadows on the sidewalk leading to the red brick duplex she shared with her mother. She shut the engine off and twisted in her seat to look at Brianna. “I don’t think she’ll eat all of them. Do you need help getting them into the house?”

“No.” Brianna placed the plate reverently on the seat beside her and unbuckled her seat belt before she scooted forward in her seat. She slid forward and reached for the door handle, and the plate wobbled on the seat. She inhaled sharply and caught the plate with both hands. “Yes. Would you open my door, Mama?”

Amari opened the rear door and held it wide. Brianna scooted out of the car while holding the plate with both hands. Her mouth set in grim determination, she walked to the door. Amari hustled around her and opened the front door wide. After opening it, she stepped inside and held the door. Lucy came over to greet them. Brianna held the plate over her head away from the dog’s curious nose. “No, Lucy. No!”

“Let me, Brianna.” Amari retrieved the spring rolls from her daughter’s hands.

“You’re home early. Did you have fun?” Cora pointed the remote at the television screen and turned it off.

Brianna’s brow wrinkled. “No. But the food was good. We brought you a plate.”

“Thank you. What wasn’t fun?” Cora stood up and stretched.

“The music was loud. And they didn’t play anything from Trolls World Tour.”

Amari passed the plate to her mother. “We forgot her headphones. Yvonne sends her love and said to call her.”

Cora took the foil-wrapped plate. “She’s a dear. You should ask her out sometime.”

“She’s dating someone. And we’re not having this discussion again.”

“We sat with a nice lady.”

Cora raised her eyebrow. “You did. Who?”

Brianna spun in a circle. “Ms. Thalia.”

Amari untied her bow tie. “Brianna asked her to sit with us.”

“She smelled good. Like cookies.” Brianna squatted down to pet Lucy. Lucy rolled to her back. Brianna rubbed the dog’s shaggy stomach. “She’s Ms. Yvonne’s friend.”

Cora tucked the foil back under the plate before she stood up and swayed on her feet. Amari stepped forward and caught her arm. “Mom?” She stared into her mother’s eyes. “What’s up?”

“Dizzy.” The plate with egg rolls tilted sideways.

Amari caught it, took it from her mother’s hand, and held it out toward her daughter. “Brianna, put this in the kitchen. On top of the stove so Lucy can’t get it.”

“Okay, Mama.” Wide-eyed, Brianna took the plate.

Amari used both hands to steady her mother.

“Grammy?”

Cora closed her eyes and gripped Amari’s shoulders as she sagged in her arms.

“Do what I told you, now.” Amari tilted her head toward the kitchen.

Brianna left the room and the dog padded after her.

Amari braced her feet and eased her mother onto the chair. “Mom?”

“Stood up too fast.” Cora rested her hand over her chest.

Fear clawed at Amari’s insides, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. “Does your chest hurt? Let’s go to the emergency room. I’ll call Dr. Bixler.” Her words came out in a flood, and her hands trembled as she dug her phone out of her inside suit coat pocket.

Cora leaned forward. “No. I’m fine now. I started the new medication yesterday. I’ll call her office in the morning. I’m fine.” She moved to the edge of the chair. “Give me a minute.” Cora closed her eyes and rested her chin on her chest. Her breathing was loud in the quiet of the living room.

Amari’s stomach roiled. “Mom, we should go. They can check you out, make sure you’re okay.”

Cora opened her eyes. “I just needed to catch my breath.” She used the arms of the chair to steady herself and stood. “See? I need to move a little slower than I’m used to.”

Amari peered into her mother’s face. “Promise you’ll call Dr. Bixler tomorrow?”

Cora sighed and patted Amari’s arm. “Yes. Now let me go eat my spring rolls.” She walked to the kitchen.

Amari followed close behind her mother. “You should sleep here tonight. What if you need me?”

“For heaven’s sake, I’m right next door. If I need you, I’ll call or bang on the wall. I hate not sleeping in my own bed. Stop being so dramatic.”

★

“Hey! Thalia!” Morgan called and waved at Thalia.

Thalia strode toward the group. “Hey yourself, Morgan. Hi, Eun.”

The wince on Eun’s face let Thalia know she had mispronounced her name. “Sorry. Will you say your name again and teach me to say it correctly? I’ve had my name mispronounced so many times I really want to get it right.”

“Sure. Eun. More like the last part of heaven, or seven. Slow down but not too much. It’s not like the first part of Eunice at all.”

“Eun. Is that right?” Eun’s broad smile and a nod were Thalia’s reward.

“Yes, and thank you. Was that Amari I saw you talking with?” Eun lifted her eyebrow.

“Um. Yes.” Thalia looked away, avoiding Eun’s gaze. “I’m going to get some more wine. Anyone want anything from the bar?”

Morgan lifted her beer bottle and squinted at the dark glass. “Yes. I’d like another Spotted Cow. By the time you get back I’ll be ready for it.”

“I’d love sparkling water. Let me come with you.” Eun cupped Thalia’s elbow and turned her gently away from Morgan. “What is up with you and Amari?” She whispered close to Thalia’s ear.

“Nothing. Not one thing.” Thalia looked over Eun’s shoulder toward the door to the hall.

Eun tilted her head and laid her hand on Thalia’s forearm. “I spend my life asking folks questions and have a good sense when there is more to the story. I’m not the judging kind, Thalia, but you look like you’re starving and someone stole your lunch.”

Thalia lifted her shoulder and let it fall. “Brianna invited me to sit with them, and then we chatted afterwards.” She stopped and turned toward Eun. Eun’s expression let her know she had witnessed their kiss. “Um, and then things—and she said she wanted to talk some more and then she bailed.” Thalia inclined her head toward the wide doors leading out of the hall. “She didn’t even say goodbye.”

Eun frowned. “That’s not like her. She’s one of the most courteous women I know.”

“It’s fine. I wasn’t expecting anything.”

Eun fixed Thalia with a lethal glare. “No. You’re a terrible liar. Don’t do that. Don’t dismiss your feelings, Thalia. They’re valid. If that kiss was any indicator.”

Thalia rested her hand on her hip. “You’re right. But right now, I’m tender, and feeling some kinda way.”

“Fair enough. Before I assist you with soothing yourself with wine, do you have a designated driver?”

“I do. Sally will get me home safe.”

Eun looped her arm through Thalia’s. “Come on, then, let’s get your wine and Morgan’s beer. And then we can tell you a bunch of cute dog stories about Rudy and show you his latest photos like the ridiculous doting dog parents we are.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Thalia leaned into Eun’s kindness and let her lead her to the bar.

★

Thalia leaned back in her seat and stared out of her window as Sally navigated the familiar streets of her neighborhood. A vision of Amari’s startled eyes when Yvonne introduced them, their kiss, and scenes from the wedding blended with memories of their morning together for what was supposed to be an anonymous hookup. Thalia closed her eyes.

Sadness bloomed in her chest. So much for connecting again. Amari’s profile had been clear: she was a hit-and-run kind of hookup. Thalia had accepted it as part of their pre-meeting agreement. Given the way Amari had bolted as soon as Thalia asked for a little more of her time, she understood now exactly where she stood. Which was nowhere in Amari’s world. And Thalia would have to find a way to get over it.

Amari’s love for Brianna had been palpable, as much as had her sorrow when the wedding vows had been spoken. Amari Foster was definitely on the no-fly list. Thalia didn’t need another unavailable lover. Thalia closed her eyes and rested her head on the seat back.

“You’re quiet.” Sally flicked on the turn signal. “What’s up?”

“Thinking.” Thalia shifted in her seat.

“About?” Sally slowed the car as she turned down Thalia’s street.

“All the things.” Thalia rolled the edge of her hem between her fingers.

“Weddings and funerals can make you look at life sideways. You want me to pull in the garage?”

“Driveway’s fine. Park to the left so I can get the truck out. Thanks for driving me home.” Thalia unbuckled her seatbelt.

“The least I could do. You need me to come in with you?” Sally turned to Thalia. “Noah and Chip will stay with Celia and Cara until I get home.”

Thalia gathered her clutch and wrap. “No. I’m good.”

Sally leaned over and kissed her cheek. “See you at the market?”

“If I don’t get a call. I’m covering for Dominic this weekend.”

“Didn’t you cover for him last weekend?”

“Yes. But Gina asked me if I could do it again.” Thalia rubbed the back of her neck. “Mom’s watching the kids so they can have a mini vacation. I hope it helps.”

“Things bad with them?” Sally frowned.

“I don’t know. He’s an ass to work with, but I always thought he treated her okay. I think it’s the kid thing.”

Sally quirked her mouth. “Having kids is like throwing a bomb into a relationship. It tests the best of marriages.”

“Yeah. She’s exhausted, and he’s never home. And my dad is being his typical ridiculous self and won’t hire another plumber.” Thalia unlocked her door and stepped out of the car. “Thanks again.”

Sally exited the car and tossed the keys to Thalia. “Fingers crossed you get a day off.”

Thalia caught the keys. “Drive safe. Watch out for Bambi.”

Sally snort-laughed as she walked down the drive toward her truck.

★

“Is Grammy okay?” Brianna sat on the end of the bed with her knees drawn up and rocked. The bed springs squeaked, and the long row of stuffed animals arranged by size rocked with her.

Amari placed Brianna’s water bottle on the bedside table. “She is. It’s time for bed. Did you brush your teeth?”

Brianna’s rocking slowed. “Yes. Is it too late?”

“Too late for what?”

“A story?”

“Not if you get in the bed right now.” Amari picked up a wadded-up sock from the floor and tossed it toward the frog-shaped laundry basket. The sock landed precisely in the open mouth of the frog.

“Okay.” Brianna unfolded from her cross-legged position and scooted around until she was under the covers. She leaned back against the headboard and touched each of her stuffed animals on the head, saying their names. “Where’s Chester? Mama, I don’t know where Chester is.” An edge of panic seeped into her voice.

“Did you take him to the bathroom with you when you brushed your teeth?” Amari scanned her daughter’s room for the toy.

Brianna shoved the covers down and climbed off her bed. “I don’t know.” She roamed around the room, her eyes wide, her breathing loud and shallow. “He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone, Mama.”

“He’s in the house. He can’t walk on his own. Take a breath. Let’s look together. Do you remember where you had him last?”

Brianna ran down to the bathroom. “He’s not here,” she yelled from the hall.

“Do you think he’s in the living room?” Amari kept her voice soft and even. “Do you want to go down with me to look?”

“No. It’s dark.”

“We can turn on the lights.” Amari moved toward the doorway.

“He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone,” Brianna chanted, her voice wooden.

“Come on, let’s look for him.” Amari moved clockwise around the room as she moved piles of her daughter’s sketches and art projects in search of the stuffed animal, fighting her own anxiety as Brianna’s ramped up. She moved a book and a box of Lego crashed to the floor.

The din of the plastic pieces shattered the quiet, and Amari cursed to herself. She scooped up the tiny multicolored bricks and placed them back in the box before she continued her search. Her mouth went dry as she ransacked the room, desperate to short-circuit her daughter’s spiral.

“He’s gone. It’s my fault. He’s gone. He’s gone.” Brianna sank to her knees, her voice ragged.

Amari kneeled on the floor next to her daughter. “Brianna. Brianna. Come on. Breathe.” She reached out and touched Brianna’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s look. We can look together.”

Brianna slumped to the floor and curled into a ball. “I lost him. It’s my fault. My fault. It’s my fault.” Her voice cracked and tears choked her voice. “I’ll never find him. He’s gone.” Her voice was phlegmy as she muttered her litany of guilt.

Amari rubbed her daughter’s shoulder. Lucy came in from the hall and woofed softly. She walked to Brianna and nosed her hand. Brianna lifted her hand, and the dog pushed her head under her arm. Lucy snuffled Brianna’s neck as she sucked in a wet and ragged breath and stroked her fur. The dog lay down next to Brianna. She curled around Lucy, hugging the dog to her chest. She rocked as she cried, the floor squeaking with her repetitive movements.

“Baby, it’s no one’s fault. I’m sure he’s here somewhere. We’ll find him.” Amari stroked the fine hair at her daughter’s temple.

“I lost him. It’s my fault.” Brianna wailed as she spiraled out into a full-on meltdown. Amari rested her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. Lucy snuggled closer and Brianna curled into a tight ball.

Amari had expected it to come sooner. Brianna had done so well with the stress of the wedding. She had even been able to ask to leave when it became too much for her, and the music was too loud. And then something as simple as misplacing a favorite stuffed toy ended up with her on the floor in tears.

Amari stretched out on the floor and lay down next to her daughter. She curled her body around her and held her. Brianna’s small body shook with sobs. Amari pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and passed it to Brianna. She clutched it with wet fingers and held it to her nose.

Amari sorted her thoughts, desperate to remember where she had seen the worn and faded bunny. Chester, Brianna’s favorite stuffed animal, a source of comfort most nights, and cause of major stress when it went missing. Brianna’s crying slowed and her breathing evened out as she fell asleep.

Amari waited until she was sure Brianna was asleep before she stood up. She pulled the comforter from the bed and settled it over her daughter. Lucy lifted her head and regarded her for a moment before she closed her deep-brown eyes and laid her head back down.

Amari closed the door behind her. In the hall she turned the light on over the stairs. After searching the living room, kitchen, and her office, she lost hope of finding Chester before Brianna woke up. She glanced at her watch and yawned. The stairs up to her room creaked, and she stepped over the one that always squeaked the loudest, fearful of waking Brianna.

In her room, Amari flipped the switch to light the bedside lamp. After removing her watch and ring, she placed them in the wooden valet tray on her dresser. She stared at the wedding day photo of her and Rebecca.

The silver frame was tarnished, but no amount of time could dim the thousand-watt smile on Rebecca’s face as she looked into the camera. The familiar twinge of pain, less now than it had been in the first months after Rebecca’s death, when it would bring her to her knees, roiled through her chest. “I miss you. Still,” she murmured to the photo before she placed her wallet on the tray. Turning her back to the photo, she stripped her shirt and pants off and folded them before placing them in the bag for dry-cleaning.

Her nipples tightened from the chill in the room. Her skin prickled with gooseflesh on her way to the bathroom. A quick shower later, and she was ready for the book she had been aching to start, the first in a new trilogy from her favorite fantasy writer.

Amari was more than ready to forget the exhausting day and lose herself in a world of demons and sexy gargoyles. She flipped the brown-and-gold comforter back. A scruffy dull brown paw was sticking out from under the pillow. “There you are.” She plucked the stuffed toy from its hiding place.

Amari held the toy to her chest and said a silent thank-you to the universe as she made her way to Brianna’s room. Lucy’s soft snores mixed with Brianna’s sleep sounds. Amari tucked the stuffed toy next to Brianna before she resettled the quilt over her daughter’s shoulders. At the doorway she paused and leaned her head against the doorframe. A wave of emotion caught up with her, and she gave in to the tears that had hovered for most of the day.