Chapter Seventeen

Thalia shifted off Amari’s lap and stood. She held out her hand. “Come on.”

Amari stood and took her hand. She lifted it to her lips and kissed the knuckles. “Where?”

Her voice, low and husky, sent a flood of desire coursing through Thalia. Her already hard nipples ached. “My room.” Thalia led the way down the hall. As they passed the bathroom, Amari stopped so abruptly it yanked Thalia backward. She turned toward her. “What?”

“Do you have a toothbrush I could use?”

Thalia released Amari’s hand, stepped around her, and opened the cabinet next to the sink. After removing a new wrapped toothbrush from the shelf, she pulled the tube of children’s toothpaste she kept for her nieces and nephews from the medicine cabinet. She offered it to Amari. “If you don’t want to brush with Silly Strawberry toothpaste, you’ll have to follow me to my bathroom.”

Amari took the offered toothbrush and waved off the toothpaste. “I’m not a fan of Silly Strawberry although I should buy stock in it. It’s all Brianna will brush with.”

“My nieces and nephews are the same. I picked up Berry Burst one time because it was on sale, and it was a disaster.”

Amari followed Thalia down the hall. “Remember what I said about the house? Goes double for my bedroom.”

Amari caught Thalia by her waist and pulled her close. She pressed her back against the wall. “I don’t give a flying fig about your housekeeping skills.” Amari rocked her hips against Thalia, the pressure teasing and delicious. Thalia feathered her fingers down the front of Amari’s shirt and flicked open the buttons. She smoothed her hands over Amari’s muscular back before she settled them around her hips. Thalia leaned her head to the side to expose her neck to Amari’s kisses.

A rush of adrenaline and desire skittered down her body when Amari nibbled her earlobe. “As much as I love what you’re doing to me, I really want you in my bed.” Thalia panted. “You stay over there.” Amari raised both hands in surrender and stepped back from Thalia.

In the master bathroom, Thalia squeezed a line of toothpaste over the bristles of her toothbrush.

“Would it be okay if I showered?” Amari tilted her head toward the open shower door.

“Towels are in the cabinet next to the tub. You want company?”

Amari caught Thalia by the waist, pulled her close, and nibbled the side of her neck. “Depends on how fast you want me in your bed.” She slid her hands down, cupped Thalia’s ass, and turned them in the small space. Thalia placed the toothbrush aside.

Amari flexed her legs and gripped Thalia’s ass to lift her onto the bathroom counter. Thalia wrapped her legs around Amari’s hips. Amari ground against her and Thalia matched Amari’s movements. Their mutual groans and panting reverberated off the tile walls.

Amari’s broad hand gripped her hip bone, pinned her in place. She edged her fingers under the waistband of Thalia’s pants. “May I?”

Thalia’s skin burned with her touch. “Please,” she whispered into Amari’s ear before she nipped her earlobe.

Amari hissed. “Help me.” She tugged the front of Thalia’s pants.

Thalia lowered her hands and pushed at the waistband. She shoved her pants down to her knees. Amari helped her shed her bottoms. The bathroom counter was chill against her ass.

Amari’s fingers dipped low. She brushed her fingertips over Thalia’s clit before pressing her palm over her slick center. Amari fingered Thalia’s swollen labia. She swept her fingertips over Thalia’s clit and rolled it gently between her fingers.

Thalia gasped and thrust her hips forward. “Don’t tease.” She trembled and clung to Amari’s shoulders. “Do it.” She pressed her face into the curve of her neck. “Fuck me. Now.”

In one stroke Amari entered her. Thalia scrabbled at Amari’s back as she came undone under her. She rested her heels on the bathroom counter, let her knees fall wide, and opened herself to Amari. Their breathing synced as Amari fucked her, hitting all the right spots.

The press of Amari’s palm, and direct strokes over her sweet spot as she rocked into Thalia, detonated her orgasm. Thalia shouted and shuddered through her pleasure. Amari changed her angle. Thalia’s body caught fire and she came again, her hips thrusting wildly, chasing the sensations of Amari’s touch. A surge of wetness spilled from her. She patted Amari on the shoulder. “Enough. I can’t again.”

Amari slowed her movements and eased her fingers from Thalia. She cupped her softly. Thalia groaned through the series of aftershocks that shot though her while Amari hugged her tightly and kissed her throat.

Thalia panted as she extracted herself from Amari’s arms. “Get in the shower. I need more space for what I want to do with you.”

“Give me five minutes.” Amari stepped away from her and turned the taps on for the shower.

On trembling legs, Thalia left the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

Thalia hurried to the hall bathroom and brushed her teeth before she returned to her room. The splash of running water dulled by the closed bathroom door drew her. Quietly, she pushed open the door and stood for a moment taking in the beauty of Amari. The muscles of her shoulders bunched and flexed as she washed herself. Thalia gripped the doorknob tightly.

“I know you’re watching me.” Amari turned and wiped the shower door glass with her palm.

“Guilty.” Thalia tilted her head to the side and raked her gaze over Amari’s physique. Broad shoulders gave way to a trim waist and flat stomach, thick thighs, and her perfectly sculpted ass. “Are you a swimmer?”

“Competed in college. I swim in the mornings before work.”

“Mmm. It shows. Your ass is absolutely magnificent.”

Amari’s laugh rang off the tiles. “You sound thirsty.”

“I am parched. Hurry up.” Thalia closed the bathroom door.

Thalia opened the blanket chest at the foot of her bed and pulled out clean sheets. Working quickly, she stripped the mattress and replaced the bedding. She blew the dust off the wicks of the three tall pillar candles on her dresser. The scent of sulfur filled her room as she lit them. The dresser mirror reflected their flames and bathed the room in a soft yellow glow.

The pipes rattled as the water shut off. From her closet, Thalia removed her toy box. She placed the squat black lacquered trunk next to the bed and opened the hasp lock. The red satin lining glowed in the candlelight. Thalia slipped her shirt off and tossed it over the side of the bed before she plumped the pillows and lay back to wait for Amari.

★

Amari patted herself dry with the towel. She collected her neatly folded clothes off the counter. As she lifted them, the rattle of metal on tile rang out. Stepping back, Amari scanned the floor for her ring. Its edge peeped out from under the sink cabinet. Amari kneeled, lifted the band of gold, and held it between her finger and her thumb.

A wave of sadness washed over her. She closed her hand around the ring and fought the darkness that closed in on her. Amari dug her nails into her palm as a dull ache bloomed in her heart.

“No,” she whispered as her mind folded back on itself. Recrimination blossomed. How many nights, afternoons, and mornings had she met nameless women in random hotels for fleeting moments of pleasure, knowing it would never erase the gaping Rebecca-shaped hole in her heart? Until Thalia. And now the delightful fearless woman in the next room threatened to derail Amari’s plans to keep herself safe. To never again know the heartache of longing, and missing, and loving.

The sounds of Thalia bustling about the bedroom filtered through the door. Another memory rose up: her very last evening with Rebecca. Amari’s throat closed, a dry ache gripping her as she worked to shove away Rebecca’s voice, cajoling, worried about Amari, making her promise to not shut herself off from the world, even as her final breaths etched pain on her face with the effort. A visceral memory of the firmness of her grip as she made Amari promise to care for Brianna, to always remember Rebecca would have stayed if she could.

None of the nameless women before Thalia stood out. Their faces merged and combined into one long, lonely montage of images. Bodies and names Amari couldn’t remember flowed together in a river of guilt. Amari had spent years engaging with women as a way to disassociate, to take what she needed in the moment, to forget the exhausting reality of being a single parent of a special needs child. To be someone else for an hour or two and to feel, to feel instead of walking around half-numb and lonely.

Until Thalia. Thalia was not, would not ever be a nameless memory now. She was in Amari’s head. Thalia had dazzled her with her passion for words, her patience, and her fearless willingness to talk, really talk about the potential for more than a casual thing with Amari.

Amari’s skin pebbled with fear in the knowledge that she was already halfway to committing to more with Thalia. She could grow to love Thalia, and then what? A thousand what-ifs crowded her mind. Love. Would she be able to love Thalia as much as she had loved Rebecca?

Love. And love meant pain. Amari would not survive another loss. She had barely survived losing Rebecca. The reality of caring for Brianna had forced her to get out of bed every day when all she wanted to do was to lie down and die. When she had craved release from her soul-deep pain, wanted more than anything to rejoin Rebecca, her love for Brianna and her promise to Rebecca had saved her.

Amari opened her hand and stared at the ring nestled in her palm. She had to leave. Leave and not call again. It wasn’t right. Thalia was soulful and kind, and real, and deserved someone who could be there for her, in a way she needed. Not the emotionally scarred, fear-filled woman Amari had become.

With her back turned to the mirror, Amari slid her ring over her knuckle. She kept her head down and avoided looking at her reflection as she dressed. After one last glance around the bathroom to reassure herself she had not left anything other than her heart behind, she opened the door to the bedroom.