Chapter Twenty-One

The October sunshine was hot on the back of Amari’s neck. Brianna clasped her hand as they walked to the park. “I want to be Poppy Troll for Halloween, Mama. Can I dye my hair pink?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we can find a wig you could wear.”

“Grammy said she’d help me make a skirt.”

“Your grammy is the best at costumes.”

They entered the park and turned toward the nature area.

“Mama, hurry, we’ll miss the ducks.” Brianna ran down the hill to the pond, clutching a bag of cracked corn.

Amari jogged after her. “They don’t have a set time to eat, baby.”

“I want to get there before they’re too full to eat,” Brianna called over her shoulder as she ran ahead of Amari.

A small flock of mallard ducks scattered ahead of them as Brianna bolted down the slope leading to the pond. The wind rustled the trees and a shower of golden ginkgo leaves floated to the ground. The ducks circled back toward the shore, quacking and splashing.

Brianna opened the paper bag carefully. After scooping up a handful of corn, she edged closer to the shore of the pond and flung it over the water. The ducks bustled closer and jostled each other as they ate the feed. Amari stood back and watched as sheer joy spread across Brianna’s face. Her heart ached as it always did in these moments when she wished Rebecca were here to share them with her.

“Hey, no pushing,” Brianna called to the ducks as she threw another handful of corn. “Mama, they do not have good manners.”

“They don’t, do they? Can I feed them a little bit?”

Brianna held the bag toward her. Amari reached into the sack and withdrew some of the corn. She squatted down and held out her hand.

One of the female ducks broke off from the group. It waddled out of the water and walked to Amari. She eyed her warily as she stretched out her sleek head to nibble at the corn in Amari’s hand. Amari waited until she had finished before she rose to her feet.

“I want to do that.” Brianna dug into the bag of food. “Will you hold the bag?”

Amari took the sack of food. “Get close to the water, hold out your hand, and stay really still.”

Brianna squatted and held her hand out toward the ducks. A few of the ducks moved toward her. A male duck drifted closer, turned his bright-green head sideways, and eyed Brianna. He left the pond with his eye still on Brianna. He paused briefly and then nibbled at the cracked corn in her palm. Brianna squealed, dropped the feed, and scrabbled away from the duck. The flock scattered. Drops of pond water splashed around them as they flapped and quacked, startled by Brianna’s sudden movements.

“I didn’t like how that felt.” Brianna panted and scrubbed her hand over her pants.

Laughter floated toward them. Amari glanced around the pond. A group of boys and girls and a woman stood on the bank a few yards away. The boys were pantomiming Brianna’s scramble away from the ducks, mocking her reaction. Amari glared at the boys before she turned her back to them. She mentally counted to ten, as she attempted to block the view of their cruel behavior, hoping with her entire being Brianna had not seen them.

Brianna moved closer to Amari and leaned her head against her arm. Amari patted Brianna’s shoulder. “It does feel weird.” She held out the bag of duck food to Brianna. A determined expression settled on Brianna’s face. She clutched her bag in one hand and stepped back toward the pond. Brianna tossed a handful of feed to the ducks. She turned back toward Amari. Brianna’s eyes grew wide as her gaze moved past Amari and settled on the children near them. They were crowded around the shore, throwing handfuls of white bread into the water amid a raft of ducks.

“Stop! You stop!” Brianna shouted, her voice loud enough the woman standing near them raised her head. She stared at Brianna and Amari.

Brianna scowled at the group and then shifted her gaze to Amari. “Mama, don’t they know that’s bad? It’ll make the ducks sick. They’ll die!” She moved closer to the group, waving her arms.

The women turned toward them and rested her hands on her hips. “What?”

Brianna pointed to the sign on the bank advising against feeding the ducks bread and shouted, “It’s against the rules. They’ll die!”

The woman glared at Amari and Brianna before she turned her back to them. She shot them angry looks over her shoulder as she gathered the children around her. The woman stalked away from them with the children trailing behind her. They walked along the shore until they were at the far end of the lake.

Amari moved closer to Brianna and bent down so she was eye level with her daughter. “Let’s not start arguments over feeding the ducks. Some people don’t follow rules. Yelling at them will most likely make them not want to talk to us. Maybe we could offer them some of our feed for the ducks?”

Brianna bit her lip. “I’d have to talk to them?”

“Yes. We can’t yell at people and expect they’ll listen. We could offer some of our feed and tell them why the bread is bad for the ducks.”

Brianna turned away from Amari and threw another handful of cracked corn to the ducks. The glow on her face had morphed into one of agitation and sadness. Amari waited as Brianna tossed more corn to the ducks, the set of her daughter’s jaw and her shoulders clues to her frustration. Amari moved to stand next to Brianna.

Brianna’s mouth turned down. Her brow knit as she watched the ducks.

Amari touched Brianna gently on the shoulder to draw her attention before she pointed to the swings on the hill near the pond. “Do you want to swing for a bit?”

Brianna emptied the last of her duck feed into the water. She folded the paper bag precisely and passed it to Amari. “Okay.”

They walked up the rise of the field leading to the swings. As they approached the play area, Amari caught sight of Thalia. She was standing with another woman and two children. The woman carried a baby in a sling. Thalia was standing behind her. Her face glowed with joy as she took turns pushing the other two children on the swings.

Amari’s chest squeezed hard. Three weeks. It had been three weeks since she had walked out of Thalia’s house. Three weeks of sleepless nights, hours of an aching loneliness, filled with a deep regret, that seared Amari’s soul. She had spent every minute replaying their evening together, and each time she came to the same conclusion. Thalia was correct: she was a coward and had acted like an ass.

A flush rose in Amari’s face when Thalia looked in her direction. Amari stopped walking, unsure of how to proceed, unwilling to draw Brianna into her drama with Thalia. Thalia lifted her hand and waved at them in greeting across the field. Amari raised her hand and waved back.

“Mama, look, it’s Ms. Thalia.” Brianna ran toward Thalia.

Amari followed her, taking her time, desperately trying to figure out what she was going to say to Thalia besides “hello.”

On the verge of the playground, Brianna skidded on the loose dirt and gravel. Unable to stop, she tripped over the wooden border that edged the area around the swing sets. Her arms pinwheeled before she sprawled on the ground at the edge of the play area. Amari bolted toward her daughter. Her wails made Amari’s gut clench, and she swallowed her urge to vomit. Amari stopped next to where Brianna lay on the ground and dropped to her knees.

A shadow fell over them and Thalia kneeled next to Brianna.

Amari glanced up at Thalia’s face. “Hey.” Amari held her gaze for a brief moment before she looked back down at Brianna. She bit her lip as she surveyed her daughter’s injuries.

Tears wet Brianna’s face. A wide hole in her pants exposed jagged flesh from where she had skinned her knee. Blood ran out from the scrape and mixed with the red dust of the playground. Amari sucked in a breath as she stared at the grit embedded in the torn skin.

“Mama, Mama, Mama.” Brianna struggled to sit up, and then howled and clutched her elbow. “It hurts, it hurts, my arm, Mama.” Blood seeped through her fingers where she gripped her arm. Amari swallowed her rising fear as she assessed her daughter’s injuries.

Brianna’s sobs shook her body. Her eyes were clenched shut.

“Let me look, baby.” Amari rubbed Brianna’s shoulder. “I need to see your arm.”

Thalia glanced at Amari before she touched Brianna’s shoulder. “Hey, Brianna, can you look at me? Would you hold my hand while your mom looks at your arm?”

Amari rubbed Brianna’s arm. “Hold on to Ms. Thalia’s hand, baby.”

Slowly Brianna moved her hand away. Her elbow bled from where she had scraped it. Bile rose in Amari’s throat as she saw the way Brianna’s arm had already begun swelling above the elbow. “Baby, we need to go the hospital. Can you sit up?”

Amari and Thalia helped Brianna to a sitting position. Brianna whimpered. “I don’t want to go to the hospital, Mama, please. It smells funny.”

“I know. But we need them to help with your arm.”

Brianna shivered. Snot and tears ran down her face. “I don’t want to go. I want to go home.”

Amari leaned her forehead against Brianna’s brow. “I know. But we need them to check your arm. We need to walk back home and get our car.”

Thalia took her jacket off and put it over Brianna’s shoulders. She rested her fingers on the back of Amari’s hand. “My truck is close. Let me drive you?”

Amari shifted her gaze to Thalia’s eyes. “I don’t want to bother you.”

Thalia lifted her eyebrow. “It’s not a bother. And you’ll get to the hospital sooner. And you look like you shouldn’t be driving right now. Let me tell my sister what’s up.” She inclined her head toward the other woman. “Hey, Gina!” The woman stepped away from the other children now happily playing in the dirt. She lifted her chin at Brianna. “Is it as bad as I think it is?”

Thalia mouthed “it’s broken” at her sister. “I’m going to help get her to the hospital.”

“Got it.” She dug around in the diaper bag slung over her shoulder and pulled out a folded diaper. She held it out to Amari. “You could put this over her knee.”

“Thank you.” Amari took the diaper and wrapped it around Brianna’s knee.

“Do you have a big truck?” Brianna’s voice was wet and broken. “I like trucks.”

Amari patted Brianna’s leg. “Come on, you hold your arm still. Ms. Thalia and I will help you stand up, okay?”

Thalia moved into position to assist Brianna.

“On three, okay? Push with your legs, Brianna, and we’ll help you stand.”

Amari glanced at Thalia. “Ready?”

“I’m ready.”

“One, two, three.”

Together they helped Brianna to her feet. She squealed when her arm was jostled, and Amari’s gut churned. Forcing herself to be calm, she rubbed Brianna’s back. “We’ll go slow, baby. You keep a tight hold of your arm so it doesn’t move.”

Thalia pulled her keys from her pocket. “My truck is on the drive right above the playground.”