Chapter Twenty-Four

“Why can’t I go with you, Mama?” Brianna muted the television.

“Because Ms. Thalia and I are going to have a grown-up conversation.” Amari tilted her head toward the kitchen. “You could help Grammy make cookies if you’re looking for something to do.”

Brianna lifted her arm with its bright-purple cast. “Grammy was worried I’d get my cast messy, but she said I could taste-test when they’re done. I want to go with you. I want to see Ms. Thalia. Why hasn’t she come to see me?” Brianna picked at the blanket covering her lap. Lucy padded into the room and over to Brianna. She laid her head on her lap and nosed Brianna’s hand. “Lucy’s my only friend.”

Amari crossed the room and leaned down. “I have to go. I’ll bring you an order of spring rolls. Hugs?”

Brianna pressed her forehead against Amari’s head. “Hugs.”

“I’m gone, Mom,” Amari shouted in the direction of the kitchen.

Cora walked out of the kitchen with a dish towel over her shoulder. “Tell Thalia I said ‘hi.’” Her gaze dropped to Amari’s hands and then returned to Amari’s face. “Lose your ring again?”

Amari lifted her chin and straightened her shoulders and their eyes met. “It’s in my jewelry box.”

Cora lifted an eyebrow. “Don’t hurry back. My evening lesson canceled.”

★

“Thanks for coming.” Amari stroked her nail over the hard plastic of the menu.

“An invitation to Ohana’s is always hard to turn down.” Thalia leaned back in the booth and fixed her gaze on Amari.

Amari shifted her gaze away from Thalia’s eyes. “I want to say so many things and I don’t know where to start.”

Thalia was silent, her gaze steady, offering Amari no quarter.

Amari knotted her hands together. “I want first to say thank you for everything you did for Brianna and me, and by extension my mom. It would have been so much harder without your help.”

“I didn’t…”

“Please let me finish, or I don’t think I’ll be able to get it all out.” Amari swallowed hard to ease the ache in her throat.

Thalia pressed her lips into a thin line.

“I’ve thought about you every day since we met. I know I hurt you. My behavior was inexcusable. I’m so very sorry I walked out on you. Could we at least salvage a friendship out of this? Would you be open to that? To being friends?” Amari lifted her gaze to Thalia’s face.

★

Thalia fixed her gaze on Amari’s hands. Her skin was blanched across the knuckles, her ring finger bare. She shifted her gaze to Amari’s face. “Friends. With benefits? Is that what you’re hoping for?”

“No. That’s not what I meant.” Amari shifted in the booth and picked up her teacup. “I mean friends. No sex.”

“No sex?” Thalia reached over and touched the bare spot where Amari’s ring usually rested. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Amari raised her chin. “I’m not lying. Just because I’m not wearing my ring doesn’t mean I’m planning on sex.”

“Lower your voice unless you want me to leave now. I am not a child, Amari, or stupid.”

“Never mind.” Amari’s shoulder slumped. “I came here to apologize and I’m making a mess of it.”

Thalia crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t do back and forth, Amari. I’m in the process of quitting my job and taking the biggest risk I’ve ever taken in my life. I don’t have time for games.”

Amari lifted her head. “No games. And my offer to help you with cataloguing your books stands. If you want it. No strings. No expectations.”

“No sex?”

“No sex.”

“You mean it, don’t you?”

“I’m many things, Thalia, but I won’t break a promise. I promise I won’t ask, or in any way pressure you for sex.”

“Until?”

“Forever, if that is all you want.” Amari placed her hands on the table palm up. “Ego arbitrio tuo.”

Thalia shifted her gaze to Amari’s face. “My disposal? Velocitas just a formidiem, cunctation proper constanciae est.”

“I don’t think we’re being hasty.

Thalia eyed Amari’s hands warily. “So why did you leave your ring at home?”

Amari rested her chin on her chest. “I’ve been seeing a therapist. And she’s encouraged me to reevaluate some of my behaviors.”

“Is that why you’re no longer on Hit Me Up?”

“No.” Amari raised her head and held Thalia’s gaze. “I know what I’m looking for isn’t there.”

Thalia looked away, unwilling to surrender to Amari’s adoring gaze.

“We’ll see.” She turned to face Amari and held out her hand. “Just friends, no sex, deal?”

Amari took her hand and squeezed once before she released it. “Deal.”

★

Thalia parked her truck along the curb in front of Amari’s house. Late-morning clouds scuttled across the sky. The roses along the walkway that had welcomed her the first time she visited Amari’s house were bare of leaves and blooms. Sharp thorns were visible on twisted gray bare branches.

Thalia knocked on the door and stepped back. Brianna opened the door. Lucy’s deep bark echoed from within the house. “Hi.”

Lucy pushed past Brianna. She circled Thalia while snuffling her shoes. Thalia rubbed her hand over Lucy’s shoulder. “Hello, Lucy.” Lucy sat down and leaned against Thalia’s leg.

“How’s your arm?”

Brianna held up her arm. A bright lime-green cast had replaced the original purple one. “It doesn’t hurt as much now. They took the pins out on Tuesday.” Her face twisted into a frown. “It hurt a lot. Mama almost passed out.”

“Brianna, we talked about opening the door by yourself. And don’t keep Ms. Thalia outside. Ask her in,” Amari called from inside the house.

“Come in.” Brianna stepped back. “Come on, Lucy. Did you come to fix something?”

Lucy and Thalia followed Brianna into the warm foyer.

Amari appeared with a dish towel in her hands and a smudge of flour on her cheek. “I’ll be just a minute. My mom’s on her way.”

“Why is Grammy coming here now? Is everyone going to watch Trolls World Tour with us?” Brianna sat on the couch. Lucy lay down in the space between the sofa and the coffee table.

“I’m going to go look at the building Ms. Thalia bought for her bookstore, and then we’re going to have coffee. Grammy will stay with you.”

Brianna’s brows drew down. “You didn’t tell me you were going. We’re supposed to watch Trolls World Tour today. I didn’t even get to go to the park, and now we’re not going to watch my movie. It’s not Grammy’s day. It’s our day.”

“Brianna—”

“It’s our day. It’s our day to watch Trolls World Tour and then we make pizza. I didn’t even get to trick-or-treat because my arm hurt.” Brianna’s voice rose in volume.

“Take a breath, Brianna. We can watch Trolls World Tour later. Grammy will make pizza with you.”

“No! That’s not how it is supposed to go.” Brianna rocked on the couch.

Lucy jumped on to the couch and lay over Brianna’s legs.

“It’s not how it’s supposed to go.” Brianna threaded her fingers into Lucy’s fur. “It’s Saturday. We go to the park and then have breakfast with Grammy and then we watch Trolls World Tour and then you make pizza and I put the pepperoni on. Twenty-four slices.”

Thalia rested her hand on Amari’s arm. “Can I talk with you? Just for a moment?”

“Sure. Brianna, I’ll be right back.”

Thalia followed Amari to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Amari turned on the taps and dampened the dish towel before turning to face Thalia. “She’ll be okay once my mom gets here.” She covered a bowl of dough with the dish towel and placed the bowl on top of the stove.

“I don’t mind if she comes with us, if it’s okay with you. Disruption in routine is hard for most of us. I know my nephew really struggles with change.”

“I don’t know if the offer will make it better, or not.” Amari rubbed her forehead. “I should have told her. The last three weeks have been rough with the fracture. The pin removal Tuesday was horrific. Even with her headphones, the sound of the cast saw was awful for her.”

Thalia stepped closer and rested her fingertips on Amari’s arm. “Come on. Let’s ask if she wants to go with us. And if we need to reschedule, that’s fine too. I don’t mind.”

“Really?”

“Of course not. I like kids in general. And if you haven’t noticed I like your kid specifically.”

“Would you stay for pizza with us? Unless you have a date, or something.” Amari’s words came out in a rush.

“No date. And I never say no to homemade pizza.”

★

Thalia unlocked the back door of the dull red brick building. “It’s pretty dusty. Watch your step. The last owners left a lot of random stuff laying around. I don’t have the electric on yet.” She shone her flashlight ahead of them, lighting their way through the door.

Brianna paused. “I don’t like the dark.”

Thalia extended her hand. “Once we get past this part, there’s light from the windows. Do you want to hold my hand?”

“No.” Brianna edged closed to Thalia. “Can I hold the flashlight?”

“Yes.” Thalia passed Brianna the small flashlight.

Brianna lit the way as they followed Thalia down the narrow hallway to the front of the store.

Light from the storefront windows lit the large front room. Shelves lined the walls. Empty boxes, packing paper, and cardboard tubes littered the floor. “They must have left in a hurry.” Amari picked up a wad of packing paper and placed it in one of the open boxes.

“They skipped. It was a foreclosure. That’s why I was able to afford it.”

Brianna frowned at Thalia. “I skip on the playground. Were they too busy skipping to clean up?”

“I meant they left without paying the money they owed to the bank. It’s slang for running out on a bill you owe to someone.”

“That’s wrong.”

“It is.” Thalia gestured to the north wall. “Do you remember the children’s corner at Oldman’s bookstore?”

“Yes.” Brianna played the flashlight over the floor along the wall.

“I’m going to make one like it right there.”

“Can I help? I’m a good helper.”

“Yes. If it’s okay with your mom.”

“Mama, can I help Ms. Thalia with making the store?”

“You can. I promised Ms. Thalia I would help her set it up.”

“You’ll need a lot of glitter and rainbows.”

“What for?”

“Because glitter and rainbows make people happy, and if they’re happy they’ll buy books.” Brianna played the flashlight over the walls in spirals.

“Glitter and rainbows it is.” Thalia stuck her hands in her back pockets.

“What kind of books are you going to sell?”

“I’m going to sell all kinds of books. What kind of books do you like?” Thalia turned toward Brianna.

Brianna chattered on excitedly as she warmed to the topic of what she liked to read.

Amari leaned against the wall. Her heart squeezed hard as she watched Thalia talking with Brianna. Thalia’s expressive face reflected how much she truly enjoyed being with her. Amari had witnessed too many people who faked interest in her quirky daughter. She had shut down more than one adult who thought syrupy tones and over-the-top reactions were the way to interact with Brianna.

Thalia’s sincere tone and honest connection with Brianna undid her. She lifted her face to the ceiling and blinked back tears. Thalia understood Brianna, understood the beauty and uniqueness of her way of viewing the world. Amari brought her gaze back to the pair.

Thalia looked up from her conversation with Brianna and into Amari’s eyes. A sensation of the scattered bits of herself falling into place swept over Amari. Their gazes locked. Amari surrendered to the moment and fell in love again in spite of her promise to herself not to.

★

“Do you want another slice of pizza, Thalia? Don’t be shy. We have plenty.” Cora moved the cutting board with the remaining slices of pizza closer to Thalia.

“Thank you.” Thalia wiped her mouth with her napkin. “Amari, this crust is amazing.”

“Mama makes the best pizza.” Brianna spoke around a mouthful of pizza. “We feed Gwendolyn and she feeds us.”

“Swallow first, Brianna, and thank you.” Amari took a sip from her tea.

“Gwendolyn?”

“Our sourdough starter. Brianna named her.” Amari wiped her mouth with her napkin.

“When do you think you’ll open the store?” Cora leaned back in her chair.

“December 15, if I can get the permits and inspections lined up. My brother and his husband are helping with the cleaning and build-outs I want to do.”

“Six weeks seems like a tight timeline.” Amari’s brow knit.

“We could help.” Brianna frowned at her cast. “A little.”

“You helped a lot today, Brianna. I’m going to use your advice for the children’s corner.”

“I’m going to resign from my job, so I’ll be able to work on it full-time.” Thalia pushed aside the niggling fear speaking her intention out loud provoked.

“My offer to help with cataloguing and organizing your stock stands.” Amari rested her fingers on the back of Thalia’s hand.

“I can help too.” Brianna’s seat squeaked as she stood. “Mama lets me use the scanner at the library when she takes me to work.”

Thalia lifted her gaze to Amari’s face and absorbed the sweet, calm energy that flowed from her. Thalia turned her hand over and clasped Amari’s hand. “Thank you.”

Amari squeezed her hand lightly and made no move to pull away.

The world receded. Thalia wrapped herself in the love that flowed in and around Amari’s family. Supported. Accepted. Loved. The warmth of Amari’s touch spread through her body. A fountain of hope bubbled in Thalia’s chest, washing away fear and loneliness.

★

November afternoon sun shone through the front windows of the bookshop. “That’s crazy bright, even with the paper over it.” Amari shifted the box of books to her hip.

“Right? I’m going to invest in UV blocking glass when I can afford it. The sun will play the hell with anything I put in that display window.” Thalia shrugged out of her sweater, the pale-brown skin of her stomach visible for a moment before she tugged her shirt back down. Amari looked away, the glimpse of Thalia’s skin a teasing reminder of what she had vowed to not touch.

“Would an awning help?”

“Some, it’s on the list of things I want to do”—Thalia rested her hands on her hips—“once I make some money. If the store makes it.”

“Don’t doubt yourself. Or your vision. Or the appeal of a bookstore next to the best coffee shop in town. Where are you putting cookbooks?”

Thalia gestured to the floor-to-ceiling shelves. “Right side about halfway down. I have the categories marked on the shelves.”

Amari placed the box of books on the floor next to the shelves.

“How do you like my ladder?” Thalia climbed onto the wrought-iron ladder and then shoved off with one foot. The ladder rattled along its track and stopped just shy of where Amari stood.

“Very nice. Where did you find it?”

“Breyer’s Estate Auction. I couldn’t believe no one in the family wanted it.” Thalia held out her hand to Amari. “Hand me the A’s,” Thalia called over her shoulder.

Amari gripped the seam of her jeans to stop herself from cupping the perfection of Thalia’s ass. “Amazing what some folks will part with.” She forced herself to turn away from the delectable image.

Amari bent over the box in front of her and squeezed her eyes tight. No sex. That was her promise. No sex. No asking. No begging. Because right now she would beg. Beg to slide her hands up and over Thalia’s ass, to fill her hands with firm flesh, to kiss the back of her neck while she fingered her slowly, to rub her clit against Thalia’s curves, to bring them both off.

Thalia’s hand on her shoulder made Amari start. She stumbled back, caught her foot on the box, and sat down hard on the floor.

“Amari!” Thalia kneeled next to her.

Amari covered her face with her hands. “I’m okay.” She kept her head bowed, fearful Thalia would see the unbridled lust reflected in her eyes.

“I’m fine.”

Thalia’s cool fingers on the back of Amari’s neck fanned the raging flame of want in her belly.

“Hey. Look at me.”

Amari lowered her hands and lifted her gaze to Thalia’s face.

Thalia stared into her eyes, her gaze unwavering, knowing reflected in her expression. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’m a little dizzy. Bent over too fast.”

Thalia pursed her lips. “No. Don’t do that. Friends don’t lie to each other.”

Chastised, Amari shifted her gaze to her shoes. “Sorry.”

Thalia pressed two fingers under her chin. Amari gave in to the steady pressure. Thalia leaned down and brushed her lips to Amari’s mouth. “For what? For wanting?”

Amari’s hands opened and closed at her sides. “Yes.”

“Don’t be.” Thalia straddled Amari, cupped her face in her hands, and kissed her softly.

Amari broke their kiss. She studied Thalia’s eyes, searching for an answer in their inky depths. “Tell me. Tell me what you want.”

“I want us.”

Thalia cupped Amari’s face and kissed her, lips hard, the kiss bruising.

Amari moaned into her mouth and gripped Thalia’s ass with both hands. She tugged her close as she squeezed and massaged Thalia’s flesh.

Amari panted. “Us?”

“Us,” Thalia whispered as she rolled her hips into Amari in a slow grind.

Amari broke their kiss and nibbled her way along Thalia’s neck. “Us.”

Thalia tilted her head back and exposed her throat to Amari’s kisses.

She slid her hands over Thalia’s shoulders. Amari gripped her upper arms as she drowned in the sensation of Thalia’s silky skin under her lips, and the warm scent of her.

Thalia pressed both hands against Amari’s chest and pushed back. She pinned Amari in place with her gaze. Amari stilled and relaxed her grip on Thalia.

“I won’t chase you if you run this time.” The edge in Thalia’s voice left no doubt as to the truth of her words.

Amari shivered under Thalia’s gaze. “I know.”

The scrape of the back door opening shattered the moment. Thalia scooted off Amari’s lap and offered her hand.

“Thalia? Where do you want the rest of these boxes?”

“In here, Nico.”

Amari took Thalia’s hand and scrambled to her feet.