“The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.”
RICHARD MOSS
Your Project
OK, ladies, now is not the time to pull out the BBC version of Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice (unless your husband is into that kind of thing). This is a time to find a movie with lots of action (and maybe even some gratuitous violence thrown in for good measure). It’s guy couch time at your house.
Purpose of the Project
Now it’s his turn to pick the movie, TV show, or whatever he’d like to do on the couch. Girls, this is a great excuse to snuggle up with him and bury your face into his shoulder during the scary parts of the movie.
Let me just put it out there. This is one of the harder projects for me. It’s not because I hate action movies (because for the most part, I do) or because I hate snuggling on the couch (because I love it). It’s because I have to just sit there.
No laptop. No cell phone. No blog updates. No notepad to just jot down a few things. Nothing. I just have to sit there and watch a movie.
And that makes me a little bit nuts.
I always feel as though I should be doing something—anything—to get things done. I’m the person who listens to books on CD while driving to the store (instructional books, of course). I don’t go for a walk without a ballpoint pen and an index card to make notes—while simultaneously listening to yet another instructional download on my iPod. I memorize Bible verses while cooking soup, and file papers while watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. (I figure if they can build a whole house, the least I can do is clear off my desk.) Danger isn’t my middle name, but Multitasking is. Some would call it efficiency. My husband calls it a need for medication.
So the thought of not getting anything done for 90 minutes is a little disconcerting. Especially when instead, I’m taking in a movie I have no interest in whatsoever. (I know, I know, “Selfish? Party of one?”)
I do realize that while sitting there watching Mythbusters or Storm Chasers is not my idea of a good time, it is something my husband loves to share with me. Even if most of our time watching Storm Chasers includes me screaming at the TV, “Get indoors—can’t you see that tornado? Who cares if you get great footage of that twister if you DIE IN THE PROCESS!”
And how can I complain when Roger can now name the past three winners of Project Runway? It’s more than fair for me to have to sit there and watch boy TV.
It’s a struggle to remember that any time I spend with my husband is never a waste of time. If I can just push the computer (or the book or the filing or the notepad) away for a moment, make sure the coffee table is laden with popcorn and Diet Cokes, and get snuggled on the couch with my husband and my favorite quilt, I know that not only am I going to have a good time, but my man will feel loved and honored.
Definitely worth putting down the Bic pens for the night.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, let me lay aside my own agenda for the moment and be what my spouse needs me to be.
Getting Creative
• You can watch something that is rented, downloaded, saved, or already in your movie collection. Just make sure it’s something that the man of the family really wants to watch.
• For extra points, make sure appropriate snacks are available.
• This may be the evening to loosen up on the “no food in the living room” rule and enjoy a carpet picnic of Chinese food or takeout pizza. Lay down a blanket to create that picnic ambiance (and save the carpet from pesky spills).
Project Reports
“Um—who knew all the boy TV there was out there? It was so much fun just to sit next to my husband and hear him laugh. He has been so stressed out at work that it was great to see him relaxed and happy.”—Marie
Your Plan for the Project (copy your plan into your Project Planner)
Results (mate’s reaction, my reaction)