You Really Know How to Dance, How to Pay the Bills, How to Be Nice to My Mom
“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.”
SENECA
Your Project
Write down ten things you like about your mate. Then tonight before you go to sleep, read the list to your spouse.
In an earlier chapter, I had you write down why you were in love with that person sitting across the table from you. Now I want you to write down the things you like about him or her. While you may not have fallen in love with your wife because she makes a mean chicken cacciatore, that could fall into the “like” category. Think of some of the fun and silly stuff that makes life together great.
Purpose of the Project
All too often we’re quick to grumble and complain, detailing the nitty-gritty things in our marriage or spouse that drive us nuts. Most couples are well aware of the things their spouse thinks they do wrong or could do better.
Today you can make sure your spouse knows all the wonderful things you adore about her (or him); the things she says, does, believes—whatever you like about your mate. Remember, “the tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21).
“Fred Rogers, will you be proud of me?”
I read these words in Tim Madigan’s excellent book, I’m Proud of You, in which he tells his personal story as a newspaper journalist whose life was falling apart. He and his wife were on the ragged edge of divorce, his drinking had gotten out of control, and in every way—mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally—he was on the brink. After being sent on assignment to interview the famous Mr. Rogers, Madigan and the TV legend formed a profound friendship unlike any he’d ever experienced before. Mr. Rogers provided much of what seemed to be missing from Madigan’s life—someone to encourage him, someone to be proud of him.
We often have no idea the power that our words carry in our circle of influence. The power to encourage or discourage, the power to shape how other people see themselves.
If someone were to ask your spouse, “Why is your husband (or wife) proud of you?” would she have an answer?
Make sure your spouse knows what you admire about him or her. You may be the only person who offers such encouragement today.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, thank You for my spouse. You have given me just the right person to grow me to become more like You.
Getting Creative
Below is a quick list of statements you could say to your spouse:
• You make the bed every day, making coming home so much nicer.
• You work long hours to support our family, helping me feel more secure.
• You always make sure we have my kind of milk in the house.
• You are nice to my friends and always make them feel welcome.
• You never complain when I say, “Can we just order in tonight?”
• You never erase my shows on TiVo.
• You watch guy/girl movies with me.
• You’re a great dad (or mom).
Now it’s your turn…
Project Reports
“One of my favorite projects was ‘What I Like About You.’ It was very easy to come up with ten things I like about Karyn. I think the interesting thing about this particular day was to express things that you’d assume your mate would know you think about them. I really enjoyed hearing Karyn read her list to me.”—Rob
“The things I heard in this activity were shocking. He likes my ‘athletic build’? At first I thought this was a joke, but the reality was that he enjoys that we can play golf together and that I can hold my own on the course and have a great time doing it. It was interesting to hear his perspective of the fad of skinny girls and that he loves me just the way I am!”—Kristina
“We enjoyed doing ‘What I Like About You.’ I could have written forever about the qualities of my wife and how much I love her. I was totally amazed about the similarities we have in common with each other. After 20 years of marriage you come to recognize you are one flesh, not only physically but mentally as well.”—Harlenn
Your Plan for the Project (copy your plan into your Project Planner)
Results (mate’s reaction, my reaction)