When I first heard about Happy Habits for Every Couple I was sitting in a seminar for Christian communicators. The person presenting asked the audience to shout out topics that churches should address in their sermons, and Kathi Lipp stood up one row in front of me and shared her heart for Happy Habits for Every Couple. I wanted to stand up and say, “You’re from the church I pastor. Why haven’t I heard about this yet?” At the end of the seminar I nearly tackled Kathi in the lobby to talk details about piloting her idea in our church. For me, Happy Habits for Every Couple was much more than a book. I sensed this would be a movement of God.
As the lead pastor of Church on the Hill, I invited our entire church to put their marriages on project status for 21 days (plus some prep time for couples). During those four weeks the Sunday messages were focused on understanding men’s and women’s unique qualities (and quirkiness) in order for us to become people who were building health into our marriages. We provided small groups for couples to share their daily victories and woes.
Happy Habits for Every Couple is about improving your marriage relationship. For 21 days you will focus your time, energy, and finances on developing happy habits for your marriage, which means you’ll need to put other areas of your life on the back burner.
I get the fact that some of you are thinking, “But my marriage isn’t broken!” By jumping into Happy Habits for Every Couple you aren’t admitting failure or crisis; you may just want to improve the good marriage you already have. And most of us have an innate sense that our marriages have room for improvement or you wouldn’t be holding this book right now. Whether your marriage is in crisis or your marriage feels healthy, these 21 days will help you build a marriage that does more than survive—it thrives!
So far this might sound intimidating because you’ve read other marriage books that had you focus on all your weaknesses and failures. Not this book. Each daily project is about encouraging your spouse rather than listing your five most irritating habits that drive your spouse insane. The essence of Happy Habits for Every Couple is about becoming a person of encouragement who serves the one you love. There is tremendous power in these pages that you’re about to discover as you practice the art of encouragement.
As a pastor I want our church couples to have the best marriages in our community. However, as I write these words, another story just came across my desk of a couple in our church who felt unfulfilled and found themselves in the throes of an affair. This is a couple that hasn’t worked through Happy Habits for Every Couple…at least not yet.
God, the author of marriage, designed your marriage to be the most intimate relationship of your life. Your marriage was intended to be filled with joy, laughter, authenticity, transparency, hope, encouragement, and great sex! Why then are so many marriages simply trying to survive instead of thrive?
It’s easy for us to forget that people flourish with encouragement. Every marriage should be a refuge of encouragement, and I pray you discover what I did, that as you engage in Happy Habits for Every Couple, God will reignite His original design for your marriage, and you’ll rediscover how great your spouse really is.
Make no mistake about it: your time, effort, attention, and money will be diverted toward developing a better relationship for the next 21 days. Trust me when I say the rewards far outweigh the costs. You are worth it, and so is your spouse.
Scott Simmerok, Senior Pastor
Church on the Hill, San Jose, California