THE IDEA RATTLING AROUND in Maaawooo's head was quite simple-he intended preparing his harem of blond Bigfoot babes for some serious wooing with the happy juice. It was easier than going through the whole mating ritual. He was in the mood for some passionate three-way woooo-woooo.
But, as Maaawooo tried to leave the kitchen with arms raised, Olaaa hopped up and tickled his armpit. A bottle of happy juice clonked her on the head.
"Ftftft!" she spat, rubbing her sore head and scowling at Maaawooo.
Maaawooo grinned as he caught the bottle and frantically looked around for something suitable to carry it in so his hands would be free. He growled. He beamed with large yellow teeth. He saw Duane's old moth-eaten rucksack lying on the floor. Maaawooo grabbed the rucksack and took a peek inside. He tossed a set of Duane's dirty Bigfoot duds on the floor and stuffed both bottles into it. He heard a loud clink. Maaawooo gave Teeelaaa a worried look. He picked the rucksack up and could see it was dry. That was a close call.
Maaawooo slung the woooo-woooo sack over a massive shoulder and in his excitement at the thought of some wild mating he forgot to open Duane's rear door from the kitchen. He smashed straight through the flimsy door which shattered like kindling.
Teeelaaa and Olaaa looked at the mess they had made. Olaaa giggled. Teeelaaa grabbed her hand and followed Maaawooo, skipping and jigging to the salsa music still playing loudly from Duane's living room.
The three Bigfoot headed back to their secret home, deep in the forest where no pale one, except Duane of course, had seen.
But Maaawooo's thruster got all a-twitching and frisky. He diverted the babes into a well-known Bigfoot clearing used for woooo-woooo purposes.
A NEAR-FULL MOON illuminated Olaaa as she sat on a large boulder amid the trees, looking up at the twinkling stars in the clear night sky. She sighed heavily. Tears filled her eyes as she listened to the loud grunts and howls coming from behind a thicket. She longed to mate with her plaything. A shooting star trailed across the night sky. Olaaa made a wish-that her pale plaything and she would get hitched on the jooobaaa and woooo-woooo their brains out.
"Woooooeeeeeooooo," she bleated. "Weeeeeooooeeeee-ooooo."
Olaaa stared at the tiny white flowers in her palm and sniffed them. She sighed deeply, looking up to the heavens.
"Wooooo-aaaaaa-woooo-eee-oooo," she howled plaintively to the moon.
Her heart ached for a love she knew deep down she could never have. She was so much in love it hurt. She was overwhelmed with sadness. She saw another shooting star and wished she could be like her plaything and not be a Bigfoot anymore.
She sighed heavily and cried unaware that Teeelaaa and Maaawooo had stopped their noisy lovemaking and now stood behind her. She felt Teeelaaa's comforting large hand on her shoulder.
Olaaa looked up into Teeelaaa and Maaawooo's big round, concerned eyes. Olaaa had not told any of her Bigfoot tribe that she had taken her plaything. She feared if they knew they would force her to let him go and chastise her.
Teeelaaa patted Olaaa's head, mewling pathetically.
Olaaa forced a sad smile and nodded her head, mewling in unison.
Maaawooo suddenly looked as though a thunderbolt had struck his ass. He gave a wide grin and went over to the stash of tequila.
Olaaa watched him rummage inside the rucksack and pull out a bottle. He looked around for something to open it with. He tapped the bottle top on a rock, wiped any glass with a calloused hand and gave it to Olaaa.
Olaaa snatched the bottled and sniffed its contents. Her twitching snout sensed something was very wrong. She took a sip. She gulped it nearly all down.
Maaawooo tried to snatch his woooo-woooo prize away from her.
Olaaa turned from Maaawooo's grasping hand. She knew that Maaawooo was trying to cheer her up by offering her his precious gift. She thought Maaawooo might be right. It would have cheered her up except it tasted just like their local drinking hole.
Olaaa pouted and spat, "Ftftftftft!" She tossed the almost empty bottle in the air.
Maaawooo caught the gift and sniffed it. "Ftftftftft!" He gave a low dissatisfied growl on inspection. He ripped open the rucksack and snatched the other bottle. He smashed the top off and drank, spitting out the contents. "Ftftftftft!" He howled to the moon. Duane had out-foxed him. Maaawooo was displeased to say the least.
Olaaa and Teeelaaa giggled. Olaaa didn't mind the deception, but she knew that Maaawooo would be more than a little miffed with Duane.