| |
Valerie and Brittany spent the next morning at a nearby brunch place, eating savory biscuits slathered with honey and speckled with melted butter, bacon that oozed grease, bright yellow fried eggs, and yogurt topped with raspberries and blueberries. Brittany received a message that the driver had already passed the state line between New York and Vermont, headed back toward their Bar Harbor home, and she lifted a hand to high-five her daughter, who returned it.
“Guess we’ll get back later tonight?” Valerie suggested, scooping three blueberries into a yogurt-laden spoon.
“I don’t know...” Brittany eyed her daughter mischievously, then said, “I had this idea that we’d hit up a few of the schools you were thinking about in this area. Vermont... University of Maine...”
Valerie’s jaw dropped. “What? What do you mean?”
“You know... Just park the SUV nearby and roam the campus, see what it feels to be one of the students.”
“I don’t know.” Valerie’s eyes were stormy with what Brittany could only assume was fear.
“It’s not like anyone is going to make you take a test,” Brittany pointed out. “Not that you wouldn’t ace it. Your SAT score was in the top five of everyone in your graduating class.”
“Nobody cares what your SAT score is anymore.”
Brittany placed her fork against the edge of her plate, tilted her head, and tried to catch Valerie’s eye. Valerie stared down at the round orb of her fried egg as though she studied it.
“What is it about college, Val? Why haven’t you picked where you want to go?”
Valerie shrugged. “I just can’t picture it yet. It seems like this whole other life that somebody else is supposed to live, not me.”
Brittany nodded. “I think I can understand that. Probably that’s partially why your brother hasn’t picked a place yet.”
“He seems happy as a lobster fisherman,” Valerie countered.
“Yes, but I just don’t know how long that happiness lasts,” Brittany told her. “If you don’t have a dream or a vision for yourself...”
“Maybe dreams and visions aren’t necessary,” Valerie tried.
Brittany could feel Conner’s negativity within Valerie’s words. Brittany lowered her eyebrows and gestured toward the back country roads, where they’d gone yesterday to purchase some of the most beautifully designed pieces Brittany had ever seen up close.
“Didn’t you feel something yesterday? Some brightness? Optimism? Anything?”
Valerie nodded subtly.
“You feel that because I created this world,” Brittany said, “Based on my dream. My vision. Do not think for a second that anything is too silly to dream up. Do not let your father’s cynicism dig into you.”
Silence fell across the table. Valerie nodded, her eyes still on that now-cold fried egg. Brittany nibbled at the edge of a slice of bacon, wondering about her daughter, about her sincere brilliance alongside her lack of confidence. No prom date. No college decision. No dreams.
“I guess it won’t hurt to just go to the University of Vermont. Just to see it,” Valerie finally offered, her eyelashes flickering skyward. “Especially this time of year.”
**
THE UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT was located in Burlington, Vermont. According to the brochure, it was opened in 1781 and was known as a public Ivy school and sat on four hundred and sixty acres of beautiful land between the Adirondack and Green Mountains.
Although it was Sunday and quite busy near the campus, Brittany managed to find a two-hour parking spot for only three dollars an hour. As she paid the meter with her card, Valerie crossed her arms tightly over her chest and blinked out toward the old-world buildings, which seemed to have been taken directly from a painting.
“Look at that. It’s coming alive with spring.” Brittany aligned herself with her daughter as they breezed toward the edge of campus, which was lined with the bursting first shots of flowers. Students breezed past, wearing ridiculous boots and leggings and enormous North Face winter jackets, which made them look like amorphous cartoon characters. Laughter rang out from groups of them, which made Valerie’s face twist with confusion and intrigue.
Perhaps, Valerie thought she would laugh like that with a group of newly-discovered girlfriends at this very campus.
“We should really hit the library today...” Brittany tried, blushing through her smile. “I have a huge paper due on Wednesday. And didn’t you say you have a test with Peterson?”
Valerie skipped a beat, analyzing her mother before playing along. “Don’t remind me. And you know how awful the coffee is at the library.”
“Is it?” Brittany wagged her eyebrows playfully, whispering, “Let’s go check it out.”
Together, they hustled across the campus to discover the Billings Memorial Library, which looked more like a medieval castle than anything else. They hurried through the double-wide doors to discover a glorious and shining all-wood interior, with students in sweatshirts seated at the tables, their elbows smashed against the antique tables.
“This place is a dream, Valerie.” Brittany breathed, gripping her daughter’s hand. “Imagine the life you could have here.”
For the first time, hope beamed out from Valerie’s eyes. She watched the students, leaning forward to try to catch their whispered words, the intensity of their study-mission. Brittany hopped toward the line behind the coffee cart, where she purchased two coffees that Valerie rated as “B or B+,” which wasn’t too bad in terms of coffee cart coffee.
When Brittany left to use the bathroom for no longer than five minutes, she returned to find her eighteen-year-old daughter in conversation with a pimply but cute college student, a guy with a big University of Vermont sweatshirt and overly-white tennis shoes who complained about his current coarse load and considered dropping all his classes and running off to Europe, like his brother had.
Brittany hung back, listening to Valerie as she pretended to be a University of Vermont student.
“I mean, Europe’s great, obviously,” she answered. “But you can do that any time you want. Imagine having to come back to college later on as an older student? It wouldn’t be as fun, would it?”
The student groaned inwardly. “That’s what I keep coming back to, too. I don’t know.” He slid his fingers through his hair, giving Valerie one of those adorable looks only men could give women. He’d drummed up the courage to talk to her. But what would happen next?
“I don’t know. But do you like it? Want to exchange numbers? I might need another pep talk about staying in school,” the guy told Valerie.
Brittany’s heart leaped into her throat. She ducked behind another group of people, her hand clutched tightly around her coffee cup. Between the students, she watched Valerie use a pen and notepad to write down her information. She passed it over to the male student, who nodded in apparent disbelief before saying, “I’ll see you around.”
Valerie rushed for the double-wide door, turning her head just so to catch her mother’s eye. Brittany knew to go along with the ruse. She walked evenly toward the glittering sunlight of this perfect April afternoon, where she found her daughter’s face lifted, a look of bliss caught across her cheeks.
“Hey stranger,” Brittany teased.
Valerie gave her a sharp yet playful look. “Not another word...”
“Come on! What did you give him?” Brittany asked as they sauntered across campus, both feeling, in their own way, that they owned the place. “You couldn’t have given him your own information.”
“Nah. I gave them the phone number of the ice cream place on Main Street in Bar Harbor,” Valerie replied with a mischievous laugh.
“The one on that big sign?” Brittany asked.
“Yeah. I’ve seen it probably forty-thousand times in my life,” Valerie said. “I have it memorized.”
“What’s that guy going to do when he tries to call you and gets just an ice cream parlor two states away?”
Valerie shrugged. “Not really my problem, is it?”
Brittany cackled. “Poor guy. Actually, poor all guys you’ll meet in college.”
“I wouldn’t be here for them,” Valerie offered thoughtfully, shoving her hands in her pockets. “I would be here for me.”
“With the added benefit of flirting with the occasional cute boy...” Brittany tried.
Valerie’s cheeks ballooned with red blotches. Only the corners of her mouth curved into a smile. Brittany traced her hand across Valerie’s shoulder and said, “All right. I’ll stop teasing you. Shall we head off to the next stop?”
Valerie and Brittany drove next to Durham, New Hampshire, where the University of New Hampshire was located. After they parked, Brittany read online that this university was apparently a “good value” school, which meant that its graduates generally went on to earn decent money and have worthwhile careers.
“How can they tell if someone’s career is worthwhile?” Valerie asked with a sneaky smile. “What does that even mean?”
“Probably they ask if their careers are fulfilling in some way,” Brittany tried. “I guess, at the end of the day, what you do for money is how you spend around forty to fifty hours of your week. You’re going to want to like it.”
“That’s true.”
Valerie and Brittany toured the campus quickly before jumping into a place called Hop + Grind for dinner. While there, Brittany booked a hotel room there in Durham, as she felt too exhausted to take them the rest of the way back to Bar Harbor that night.
“It’s just four hours,” Brittany recited as she dipped a French fry through a blotch of mayonnaise on the plate between them. “We could get up around seven, have a decent breakfast, then be back around one?”
“You’re not planning on opening the shop?” Valerie asked.
“No. But that reminds me...” Brittany grabbed her phone to check on the drop-off of the recently-purchased antiques.
BRITTANY: Hey Gabe! Are you still good to come to the warehouse to oversee the arrival of the new inventory?
GABE: I just got a message from the driver a few minutes ago saying he’s ten minutes away. I’m waiting outside the warehouse door now.
GABE: I can’t wait to see the beautiful pieces you picked out!
“Are you worried?” Valerie asked, lifting her cheeseburger tentatively.
“No, not really. I just want to make sure everything gets there in one piece,” Brittany answered. “Thousands and thousands of dollars worth of inventory, crossing multiple state lines...”
“I can’t believe you managed to sleep last night,” Valerie teased.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll try to forget about it,” Brittany countered. “Gabe will let me know if there are any problems.”
“Eat up,” Valerie instructed. “And tonight, I think we should watch a movie in the hotel. Something to keep your mind off of this delivery and my mind off of this difficult college decision.”
Around two hours later, just as Brittany and Valerie began watching Notting Hill on the hotel television, Gabe sent several photographs from the inside of the warehouse, proof that the inventory had been delivered safely and positioned appropriately around the space.
GABE: It took forever for them to unload all that heavy furniture, poor guys.
GABE: But I made sure they treated it with the utmost care.
BRITTANY: I knew I could count on you, Gabe. Thanks a bunch.
**
THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON, Brittany and Valerie reached Bar Harbor at twelve-forty-seven, both over-sugared, over-salted, and over-caffeinated. For multiple hours, they’d debated the pros and cons of both Vermont and New Hampshire alongside what they remembered from their trip to the University of Maine. So far, the University of Vermont came out on top, although Valerie’s opinion seemed malleable, easily changed from hour to hour.
“Let me just check on those beauties,” Brittany said as she eased through downtown, passing by the ice cream place that Valerie had used for phone number purposes, the hotel where Casey’s husband, Grant, had hid out, waiting for her to wise up about their marriage, and the Italian restaurant where, once upon a time, Conner had asked Brittany to marry him.
Bar Harbor surged with memories she would never forget.
But it would always remain home.
Brittany entered the back alley behind Bar Harbor Antiques, parked alongside the large warehouse, and jumped out of the SUV. Valerie got out with her, stretching her arms above her head until they crackled.
“Okay. What about we check out the inventory, grab some lunch from the diner, and then start to figure out the strategy for the week ahead?” Brittany began excitedly, walking with purpose toward the warehouse door.
“Our eating adventures are never finished!” Valerie cried.
Brittany laughed, jangling her keys from her pocket and finding the two warehouse ones, one for the deadbolt and one for the knob. With the deadbolt cracked open, she slowly eased the doorknob to the right and stepped through the shadows of the warehouse, just as she’d done nearly every day for the previous twenty-five years.
But when she entered the warehouse space itself, she found it nearly empty.
Brittany’s heart dropped into her belly like a stone. She couldn’t scream; her tongue felt heavy, and it was as though her mouth was filled with cotton balls.
Valerie ambled in behind Brittany, chatting words that Brittany couldn’t understand. It was as though she’d lost all comprehension of English.
Finally, Valerie stopped dead beside her mother, there in the empty space.
The warehouse felt literally hollow, with only some of the desks and couches from the fifties and sixties still stuffed in the corner, inventory Brittany had had waiting around for almost three years.
“Um... Mom?” Valerie breathed, her voice wavering. “Where is all our stuff?”