Johnnie awoke to banging. It startled her at first, and then it pissed her off. She yelled at whoever it was then flung on a flimsy robe, and yanked open the large door.
“Eddie, what the fuck?” She collapsed against the doorframe, relieved it was him but still pissed off nonetheless.
“Good morning, sunshine. Or should I say afternoon?” He breezed past her and headed for the kitchen with his hands full of bags and drinks. “I brought you a smoothie and some bagels. And some vitamins because you look like I said…meth addict.”
“Great, thanks.” She closed the door and crossed to deposit herself on a bar stool.
“No, it’s not great. You look God-awful.”
He slid her smoothie across the counter. She tipped it. “Cheers, mate.”
He ignored her as he spread smear onto a bagel and then slid that across to her as well.
“You haven’t been answering your phone so I knew you were either working or getting laid. I assumed it was the first rather than the latter.”
“You assumed correctly.” She took a bite of her bagel and then motioned for more cream cheese.
Eddie sipped his drink, and she watched as his cheeks caved.
“You look fresh,” she said. “Well moisturized.”
He smiled. “I like it. And so does a certain someone.”
“Gary?” He’d long had a crush but had been too shy to do anything about it.
“Maybe.” He grinned again and started in on his bagel. “So when can I see your latest? Or is it top secret?”
She swallowed more smoothie, so thankful he got the berry blend. “It’s in the living room.”
“No shit?”
She motioned toward the living room. Eddie rounded the counter and whistled as he walked up to the painting.
“Oh my goodness, girl. Who is this fine woman?”
“You mean you don’t recognize her?” She had thought he might.
He gave her a confused look. “Should I?”
“She’s the woman I met with yesterday.” When he still didn’t show signs of understanding, she told him more. “You know, at the place?”
“Place?”
She sighed in frustration. “She’s my…practitioner.”
Eddie’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, the place. Holy shit, you went? I didn’t think you would do it. Oh, my God.” He looked back to the painting. “Oh my God, that’s why you were able to work. It’s working already.”
Johnnie stared at the painting and realized he was right. The session had helped her work, even if she’d been too caught up in her own intensity to notice.
“Oh my God, Pedro worked miracles for me. Miracles.”
He had gone on and on about Pedro and how he had helped him through so much emotional baggage and self-sabotaging. So much so that she had begun to think Pedro was some sort of guardian angel rather than a real human being.
Eddie returned to his bagel and smoothie. He batted his lashes at her. “So, tell me all about her.”
Johnnie shrugged. “I know absolutely nothing about her. Not even her name.”
“She’s coy, this one. Pedro was kind of like that at first. But he came off as more the nurturing type.”
“What do you know about Pedro? I mean, who are these people?”
“I don’t know. I just know they are very, very good at what they do.”
“Is Pedro even his real name?”
He sucked on his drink. “Do I even care? No. All I care about is the fact that he helped me.”
“Did you, you know…have sex with him?”
He rolled his eyes. “As if I’d tell you. Those sessions were private for a reason.”
“I just don’t know what to expect.”
He smiled. “That’s good. She probably doesn’t want you to.”
“I don’t know; I feel so weird about the whole thing. It feels…strange and exciting and somehow forbidden.”
“Which sounds like it’s exactly right up your alley.”
“I don’t know.” She still couldn’t get past the fact that the woman was a stranger.
“Just relax and go with it. Anything to get you working, right? I mean you did send up the SOS did you not?”
“Yes.”
“Then what’s the problem? Go, have fun. Let her help.”
“I just have so many questions.”
He chewed on a bite of bagel as he leaned against the bar. “So ask her.”
“It’s like she stepped right out of my dreams.”
“Mm, they are good that way.”
He looked over at the painting and cocked his head. “So that’s your dream girl…not bad. Dark, mysterious.”
“Intelligent.”
“You’re never going to let me live that down are you?”
“Never.”
“It was a blind date, and I didn’t know she was—”
“She didn’t know who Winston Churchill was.”
“So she’s not good at history.”
“She was English, Eddie.”
“Okay, okay. You’re so picky.”
“If that’s what you want to call it.”
“Seriously, when are you going to give up the ghost on the whole picky thing?”
She shrugged. She had to admit, she was particular. In fact, there had only been one person who’d grabbed hold of her spine and wouldn’t let go, despite her bad behavior. Her ex, Gail.
Eddie continued. “I can’t come around and check on you forever you know. Eventually, I too, will settle down and get a life.”
“You’ll still care.”
He sighed. “God, I know. I won’t ever stop.”
“I’m fine, Eddie. Really. I’m happy being alone.”
“You look really awful. Like you’re going to blow away in the wind.” He took both their plates and threw them away. Then he leaned on his elbows and looked her dead in the eye. She confessed and knew he’d accept nothing less.
“I’m stressed. Who wouldn’t be, given my situation?”
“I’ll give you that. But, sweetie, you lock yourself away in here or in the studio. Don’t come out for days. You’re a recluse.”
“I could be worse.”
“Seriously, come out with me. Hang with the gang. Just to breathe fresh air.”
“Maybe.”
He groaned. “I’m going to stop asking.”
“I’ll think about it.”
He pushed off from the bar in frustration. “Will you at least get some plants in here? Can you keep them alive?”
“I’ll try.” She finished her smoothie and looked at the painting. The woman sat looking at her with her long legs crossed, firelight caressing her skin and reflecting in her hair. Her red lips were open, just a bit, as if she were about to speak about the desire in her eyes. Johnnie couldn’t tear her gaze away. “She looked at me like that,” she said softly, more to herself.
Eddie followed her gaze. “Really? Damn.”
“I know.”
“Are you seeing her again?”
“Next week.”
“Are you excited?”
“I don’t know. I think I’m still scared shitless.”
“Of her?”
“Of how she made me feel.” She pushed away her half-eaten bagel, rested her elbow on the counter, and leaned into her hand. She felt exhausted, like she hadn’t slept at all.
“I thought she made you feel wonderful.”
“Alive,” Johnnie said.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I can’t fall for this woman, Eddie.”
“Why not?”
“I thought it was going to be about sex.”
He held up his hands. “I never said that.”
“Well, you didn’t not say it. So I went in there expecting something sexual. I don’t know.” It sounded crazy now. “I just—I had the wrong idea.”
He sighed and rested his face in his hand at her eye level. “It is yet it isn’t.”
“You sound like her.”
“It’s about you. What you need, what you desire.”
“I wanted her. And trust me I haven’t wanted anyone in a very long time.”
He looked at her like she was crazy. “Um, yeah, I know.”
“It’s just so much more involved. I mean she cracked me open and read me. The real me.”
“And that terrified you.”
She nodded. “I don’t want it to be about me. I can’t do that.”
“Sweetie, that’s just it. It’s never about you. It’s always about someone else. First it was your mother, then your first lover, and then Gail, and my God, what more could you have given her? I’ve never seen someone try so hard to make a relationship work. It’s time to focus on you. Work on you. Do something for you.”
“I don’t want to.”
“You’re scared.”
“Yes.”
He reached for her hand. “I know how hard it must be for you to let someone in. Because when you have, they’ve hurt you. But those people, your mother included, were selfish. They loved themselves; they didn’t love you.”
Tears stung her eyes. She pulled away from him and turned away, forcing them down.
He was silent for a while, allowing her to get control. “I think it would be really good for you to do this.”
“I don’t.” She turned to face him.
“She’s gorgeous. She already helped you paint—”
“She wrecked me, Eddie. I mean she really reached in and grabbed me. How do you handle that? How do you recover from that?”
“Who says you have to?”
“I do.”
He shook his head. “No, Johnnie. What you do is you go with it. You walk right back in there and you go with it. She’s doing what she’s doing to reach you. To show you yourself.”
“I don’t want her to see me.”
“Why not? What is so wrong with you?” He walked over to the painting. “See this look? This is a woman who wants to see you. She wants to see you, Johnnie. She’s already seen a little and look at her. She wants more.”
Johnnie looked at the painting and stared into her eyes. She’d give anything to see that look again. Even if for just a second.
Eddie read her face. He smiled. “Good. Now go to that appointment.” He looked around and waved his arm. “And get some plants for God’s sake!”
She laughed and he left without saying good-bye as he often did. Slowly, she rose and approached the painting. She reached out for it but didn’t touch it.
Who was this woman?
And why, oh why, did she move her so?