Elaine stepped through the inner office door, smiled politely at the medical assistant, and followed her to a large room draped with curtains. The woman stopped halfway in and yanked open a curtain before pointing to a red chair. Elaine set down her purse and took a seat. She began unbuttoning her blouse as the woman closed the curtain.
“Anything change since the last visit?” she asked as she typed at a computer.
“You’ll have to be more specific.”
The woman looked at her. “How are you feeling?”
Elaine pulled open her blouse. “A little tired sometimes.”
Her fingers flew across the keyboard. “Chest pain?”
“Some.”
Elaine sighed and eased out of her blouse.
She reached back and unlatched her bra, pulled it off, and placed it on top of her blouse on the small table next to her.
The woman looked at her without a second glance. “Any medication changes?”
“No.” She didn’t mention that sometimes she missed her blood pressure pill and that she was often dizzy when she stood.
“Still a nonsmoker?”
“Of course.”
“What about alcohol?”
She bit her lower lip. “Occasionally.”
“Okay.”
The woman rose and came to stand on her right side. She began pulling out cords and straightening them. Then she placed them accordingly across Elaine’s lap. Next, she began peeling and sticking electrodes along Elaine’s chest.
“You look better since the last time I saw you,” she said, gently lifting her left breast to place an electrode beneath.
“I thought so too, after weeks of the antibiotic. But now…”
“You feel a little tired.” She smiled and stuck the remaining two on Elaine’s lower legs.
“Yes.”
Elaine relaxed as she connected the chords to the electrodes.
“Okay, you know the drill.”
She pushed buttons on the EKG machine, and after a moment, it printed out results. She tore it off to look at it. Elaine watched her, but her face was unreadable. She initialed it and placed it in Elaine’s file.
“All finished.” She unhooked the chords and left the electrodes to Elaine, who pulled them off quickly.
“You can get dressed and go in to room four.” She smiled. “I hope you feel better.”
“Thanks.” Elaine heard her scrape the curtain rings along the rod to exit. She stood to dress and then pulled back the curtains and walked confidently to room four, where she found fresh butcher paper laid out for her on the examination table. She avoided it and sat in the chair instead.
Doctor’s offices and hospitals were now her new kryptonite. She hated them and avoided them at all costs. She had never been a good patient, mainly because being one actually required a lot of patience. Something she had very little of. And this, this appointment was not a good start to her day. She glanced at her watch and scowled at the slim magazine selection. She had an appointment with a client soon.
She crossed her legs and pressed her palms along her skirt. They were clammy, which was unusual for her. Nervousness didn’t often trouble her.
“Well, look who finally came back,” Dr. Klein said as she entered the room with a smile. She extended her hand and took Elaine’s softly. Elaine found it warm and welcoming, just as always. “How have you been?”
She sat at the small counter and opened her laptop. She typed a few things and then opened the file folder to retrieve the EKG reading. Her face, too, was unreadable.
Before Elaine could answer, she spoke again, meeting her eyes. “We’ve been trying to get you back in here. We’ve tried calling, sent letters.”
Elaine clasped her hands. “I’ve just been very busy.”
“I see. You’re one of those huh?”
“One of those?”
“A workaholic. Using work as an excuse for everything.” The corner of her mouth lifted to show she was teasing her.
Elaine tried to smile, but she felt guilty. A feeling she knew all too well. It cramped her stomach.
“I won’t berate you for not coming in for your follow-up. People get scared. White coat syndrome as they say.”
Dr. Klein was kind and intelligent. Beautiful in a classic way. If she weren’t happily married with three children, Elaine would’ve let her thoughts go to a private meeting in a hotel.
Dr. Klein continued studying her computer. “How long after the antibiotics did you start feeling this way?”
“You mean tired? I don’t know. I felt good for a while. Then this started…a couple of weeks ago.”
She glanced up at the calendar. She looked concerned.
Elaine struggled to explain. “I didn’t think anything of it at first. I thought it would take a while to get my strength back you know? And at first it wasn’t bad.”
“And you did finish the last treatment, right?”
“Yes.” She recalled how the home nurse had come, hooked it to her PIC line, and waited until it had emptied.
Dr. Klein stood and offered her a hand. “Can you sit up here for me?”
Elaine did so carefully, the paper crinkling beneath her. She wished she were anywhere else but there. Dr. Klein listened to her heart for a long while. When she stepped away she asked, “Any fever?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Nausea?”
“Some.”
“Can you stand in place?”
“Yes.”
“How long before you need to sit?”
Elaine closed her eyes. “I’m not sure.”
“But you’re able to walk.”
“Yes.”
She again offered her hand and helped Elaine back into the chair.
“Any lightheadedness?”
“Sometimes, when I stand to walk.”
She took her blood pressure sitting, then took it again as she stood. When she finished she returned to her computer. “I think we need to take a look at some things. Run some tests.”
“Should I be worried?”
“No need to worry. It will only cause stress, which is something I want you to avoid.”
Dr. Klein turned to look at her. “You had one hell of an infection, Elaine. I’m pretty sure it’s gone, but we need to check some other things.”
“Like what?”
“We need to make sure it didn’t cause any damage.”
Elaine breathed deeply. “Okay.”
“Like I said though, no worrying. Let’s just run the tests. In the meantime, take it easy. No marathons.”
Elaine touched the necklace Barb, her late wife, had given her and tried to control the fear that had sparked within her. “Got it.”
Dr. Klein walked to her and took her hand. “Make an appointment with me soon after the tests. And if you begin to feel worse in any way, I want you in the emergency room.”
Elaine released her hand and nodded.
“It was good to see you. I’ll see you soon.” She smiled and left the room, leaving Elaine alone with her thoughts. The infection in her heart had been bad enough, and she thought she had it beat. But now…damage? What did that mean? Fuck.
Another medical assistant entered and tied off her upper arm to draw blood. Then she gave her the paperwork for the testing. Elaine heard the drone of instructions, but they didn’t compute. At some point, she nodded her understanding and stood. She left the office and stepped into the drizzle of rain. She didn’t bother to open her umbrella.