The bell on the door rang as someone entered. Johnnie turned, expecting to see Gail, who had been showing up at the studio whenever she felt like it. Her heart jumped to her throat when Elaine appeared. She stood in a pair of jeans and a red sleeveless blouse. She was clinging to a black purse.
“Hi,” she said.
Johnnie couldn’t help but stare.
Eddie, however, hopped up and crossed the room to introduce himself. “Hi, I’m Eddie, the BFF.”
She smiled and took his hand. “I’m Elaine,” she said.
“The muse,” he said for her.
She cocked her head and then agreed. “I guess I can own up to that.”
“Oh, you should,” he said.
He gave Johnnie a look and then gave the gesture to call him. “I’m off, ladies,” he said. “Elaine, it was a pleasure and I hope to see you again soon.”
Johnnie waved him off and they heard the bell sound as he left.
Elaine stepped farther in, and Johnnie felt nailed to the floor.
“I, uh, was just going to call Michael. To check on you.”
Elaine looked away. “I’m sorry I haven’t called. It’s just been difficult getting back into the swing of things.”
Johnnie wasn’t sure what to do. What her presence meant. She could feel her tentativeness.
“Are you okay?”
Elaine again met her eyes. “Yes.”
“Well, that’s good news.”
“Yes.”
Johnnie watched as she glanced around, studying the finished canvases.
“You’ve been working a lot I see.”
“I’m just trying to keep busy really.”
“It’s working.”
Johnnie couldn’t take the small talk anymore. “Did you want to sit and talk?” She motioned toward the couch. “Would you like a drink?”
Elaine held up a hand. “No, I’m fine, thank you.”
She didn’t move and Johnnie felt sick. She wasn’t there to see her, to be with her. She was there to say good-bye.
“Don’t,” Johnnie said, clenching her jaw so she wouldn’t tear up. She looked away and put up her wall. It was just another person pushing her away. Saying they cared but really didn’t. She could handle it. It was all she knew when it came to love.
“Johnnie, I—”
“Just please go. I don’t want to hear you say it.” She met her eyes. “Not you,” she whispered.
Elaine moved closer with pain etched on her beautiful face. “I just can’t,” she said. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Johnnie nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
“I’m not ready,” she said.
Johnnie laughed, so angry so hurt. “Right, because I’m so dangerous.” She shook her head. Her phone vibrated, but she ignored it. “Please, leave me be. The more you say, the worse it is.”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Elaine said. “I should’ve just stopped the sessions.”
“What is this exactly? And what the hell is so bad about it? I for one, like it, whatever this is. It has taken my world and turned it upside down and shaken it. It has seriously shaken up the snow globe of my life, and I know it has yours too.”
Elaine felt the words; Johnnie could see it on her face. But her body held firm, and Johnnie knew the words hadn’t penetrated her heart.
“Johnnie, I’m not over Barb. And that isn’t fair to you.”
Johnnie moved closer and Elaine’s breath quickened. “Do you think I’m over the people or things that I’ve experienced in my life? No. I’m not. But I go on. Day by day. And I open up, even though I know better, even though I’m afraid. I opened up with you. Not completely, but enough to know this hurts like a motherfucker.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“You feel it too,” Johnnie said, standing before her. She touched her arms, felt her tremble. She touched her face and felt her skin heat.
“Johnnie…”
“Kiss me,” she said.
“We can’t. It isn’t wise.”
“Fuck wise.”
The bell on the door rang again, and Johnnie took a step back, the moment gone. Gail walked in like she owned the place and stopped. She looked at the both of them, and her face contorted in anger. Elaine turned and straightened herself.
“Who the hell is this?” she demanded.
Johnnie was furious. “Gail, get out.”
“No, I want to know who this is.”
Elaine looked to Johnnie. “I should go.” She crossed the room.
“No, please don’t go,” Johnnie said, going after her.
“Is this her?” Gail asked. “Is this Elaine?”
Elaine stopped and turned to look at her.
“It is, isn’t it?” Gail moved toward her, and Johnnie hurried to get between them.
“Gail, you know you aren’t welcome here. You need to leave.”
Gail ignored her, her angry gaze focused on Elaine. When she spoke she spat venom. “She calls your name when she comes,” Gail said.
Elaine blinked as if she couldn’t believe what she’d heard. Johnnie wanted to die, and her heart jumped from her mouth and lay beating helplessly on the floor.
Elaine moved toward the door with her purse now slung over her shoulder.
“But it’s me making her come,” Gail shouted after her. “It’s all me.”
Elaine pushed through the door, and Johnnie ran out after her.
“Elaine, please. Please stop.”
Elaine opened the door to her Audi sedan. She slid on designer black shades, but they didn’t hide the stone of her face.
“It’s over with Gail,” Johnnie said. “She just won’t leave me alone.”
Elaine looked up just before she climbed into her car. “Well, if you’re fucking her, she’s not going to go away. Trust me on that one.”
Johnnie watched helplessly as she climbed in and started her engine. After she backed out, she peeled away, leaving Johnnie in the late afternoon sun. It never felt sharper as it pierced her eyes and Elaine’s words pierced her heart.