Elaine blinked, completely confused. She turned away once she realized she was staring.
“Elaine, I know this looks bad. Strange. Whatever.”
Elaine turned to look at Jolene, all of it sinking in. “So you’re Jolene.” She held out her hand, trying to control her racing emotions. “Elaine.”
Jolene took it, too stunned to speak. Johnnie, however, was speed talking, completely panicked. “See, I didn’t know it was you. We didn’t know it was you. If I had known, I would’ve left and—”
“Johnnie please put on some clothes,” Elaine whispered, heat kissing her skin from the sight. She looked better than she could’ve ever imagined. Curved and carved with muscle and full round pale breasts. She had the urge to walk up to her, run her hands up her arms, and skim her nipples with the backs of her fingers causing them to awaken, harden.
When their eyes met, Elaine knew Johnnie could sense her thoughts, for she blushed, clenched her jaw as if trying to fight her own feelings, and excused herself into a bedroom. Jolene pushed open the bathroom door and smiled politely.
“You can shower between ceremonies,” she said. “Most people like to.”
Elaine smiled. “Thanks.”
She took a quick shower, her mind reeling with having run into Johnnie yet again. And as she washed away the remnants of her ceremony, she was surprised at how little her mind returned to Barb and what she’d just done to purify herself and her mind. Maybe it had helped. But now she had to deal with Johnnie. How could she conquer those thoughts?
She finished drying with a thick white towel and then re-emerged to find all of them outside, awaiting her return. Michael looked upset, and the rest looked worried.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Henry spoke. “Given the circumstances, we weren’t sure if you wanted to continue.”
Elaine hugged herself and then fingered wet hair. It smelled like Johnnie’s must smell. The realization excited her a little.
“You mean quit?”
“Because of me,” Johnnie said. “I’ve interfered.”
“No.” Elaine shook her head. “Absolutely not. I need this. And you haven’t interfered. We just ran into one another again. That’s not anyone’s fault.”
Michael pushed out a sigh of relief.
Henry spoke. “Johnnie, you should go.”
Johnnie nodded in agreement.
“Yes,” Jolene said. “She will go.”
Johnnie started to walk away, but Elaine asked her to wait up. They stopped on the patio while the others remained behind.
“You don’t have to run off,” Elaine said. She felt terrible; these were Johnnie’s friends, her territory.
“I should, yes,” Johnnie said. Her wet hair came down to tickle her brow, and she brushed it back and sank a casual hand in her pocket. The sight took Elaine’s breath away. She stood studying her in a black tee and faded jeans. “It’s best for you,” she added.
Elaine saw the look in her eyes. The kind concern. The empathy. She knew there was no use in arguing. Johnnie wanted what was best for her and she’d do whatever necessary. But there was something she could do.
“Michael,” she called out.
He trotted up to her. “Yes?”
“Give Johnnie your key to the condo. She can go hang out there.”
He didn’t hesitate. “Good idea.” He fished in the pocket of his pressed jeans and handed over the key. He gave her the address and Johnnie nodded.
“I know that place,” she said. “We’ve had friends stay there.”
She took the key, eyes locked back on Elaine. “If I go and hang there, will you promise to stay here and let Henry help you?”
Michael smiled. “I like this woman.” He shoved Elaine playfully.
She sighed. “Yes.”
“Okay. Call me when you’re finished.” She looked at Elaine for a long moment before turning to leave.
“I like her a lot,” Michael said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and turning her back toward Jolene and Henry. “Tell me again what your deal is…why you haven’t asked her to marry you yet?”
She shoved him back. Henry held out a hand for her and helped settle her into a chair. He handed her a bottle of tepid water.
“Did you eat a light breakfast?” he asked.
“I did.”
He nodded. She’d followed his instructions exactly.
“You’re going to go into the hut. There will be steam as I add water to the hot rocks. It will be pressing, uncomfortable. It may feel hard to breathe. Since you’ve got medical issues, I will be going in with you.”
She agreed. It was a good idea and it helped her anxiety. “We will stay inside until I feel you are ready to emerge. When you emerge, we will rub dirt on ourselves to clean away the bad, the unhealthy. We will rehydrate you. And if we feel it necessary, we will go again after a while.”
“Okay.”
She drank the water, tried to relax, but it was impossible. Henry busied himself moving hot rocks from a low burning fire into the hut. When he finished he brought in a bucket of water, and she saw steam rise from the cupfuls he poured on. He came back out of the flap without the water. Then he approached her.
“Are you ready?”
She nodded and looked to Jolene for support. Jolene encouraged her quietly, helping her stand. She walked her to the flap where steam was still escaping. She helped her out of her robe. Beside her, Henry undressed as well. He entered the hut first and stuck out a hand for her. She took it and pushed through the flap. The small hut was full of steam and it was difficult to see Henry.
“Sit across the rocks from me,” he instructed her.
She sat and crossed her legs, lotus style. Henry did the same. He began to chant, to sing. Elaine closed her eyes, doing her best to take steady breaths. Her head spun a bit and then she felt sweat bead her body. Soon she was slick with it and she was wiping her face and brow. It was so hot, humid, heavy.
Henry stopped singing and encouraged her to breathe deeply, allow the thoughts to come and go. To feel whatever came.
She again closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Her body felt heavy yet light. She felt one with the ground beneath her. As if she could ooze down into the dirt and disappear. She grew sleepy and relaxed. She was about to drift away when she heard a voice calling her.
“Barb?” She clenched her eyes, afraid if she opened them, she’d lose the voice.
“Lainey, I’m here. I’m always here.”
Elaine began to cry. “Where? I miss you so much.”
“I’m still with you. Every day. Every moment.”
“I can feel you,” she said, reaching out for her.
“Because I’m in here, right inside your heart.”
“But I want to touch you, hold you.”
“All you have to do is close your eyes and think of me and you can.”
“But it’s not good enough, I want more.”
“You can have more, Lainey. With the other who’s meant to love you.”
Elaine cried again, opened her eyes, searching desperately. All she could see was Henry adding more water to the rocks. “I hear her,” she said.
He nodded, chanted something again, and reached out to touch the scar on her chest. Then he sat back and closed his eyes.
Elaine closed her eyes, desperate to hear her again. “Barb? Where are you?”
“I’m going now, Lainey,” she said softly.
“No, don’t go.”
“I need to. So you can grow and love and move on. I will always be in your heart. But you have to let the other in now.”
Elaine wanted to cry, but no further tears would come. She felt a gentle pressure on her chest and then it released. She relaxed, felt so light. It was easier to breathe, to exist. She felt like she was floating off the dirt. Suddenly, she saw everything. Every grain of sand on the ground, every bead of sweat on her arms and faces of those she loved in the gathering of steam.
“I see now,” she said. “I see it all.”
Her eyes grew heavy with blissful peace. She smiled and was about to fall over on her side to sleep when she felt strong arms encase and lift her. More arms pulled her through the flap and she was seeing sky, darkening sky. She felt dirt being rubbed into her skin. Michael was talking to her, but all she could do was smile.
A soft robe was wrapped around her, and she was helped into a lounge chair. Jolene helped her sip water. Henry, also in a robe, came to her, said something in Navajo, and touched her scar again. Jolene chanted with him, and they placed their hands on her arms and shoulders. Then he held her face and said, “Let it go, child. Let it all go.”
She exhaled and felt herself shudder. Henry backed away. Jolene held her hand.
“Breathe,” she said. She helped her sip more water.
Elaine took the water and drank heartily. Her heart had suddenly awakened along with her mind. She blinked and took in her surroundings, saw the pop of colors everywhere. And she had a yearning like she never had before.
She tried to stand. “Johnnie,” she said. “I need to go to her.”
Jolene held her tightly. “Easy,” she said. “Let’s go rinse you down.”
Carefully, she led her into the house and turned on the shower.
Elaine stepped into cool water and allowed it to further awaken her. After a few moments of letting it slosh over her, she lathered herself up and rinsed, then washed and conditioned her hair. When she finished, Jolene had clean clothes for her folded on the counter.
She helped her dry off.
“Are you sure you are strong enough to go to Johnnie?”
Elaine held her wrist and looked into her deep brown eyes. “I’ve never felt stronger in my life.”
Jolene nodded. “You must go then.”
She left the bathroom and Elaine dressed and combed her hair. When she walked down the hall, she found them all in the kitchen. Michael looked at her with worry etched on his handsome face.
“I’m well,” she said with a smile. “I’m well, Michael.”
He sighed and let the worry go. “Oh, thank God.” He embraced her tightly.
“I need to go to Johnnie,” she said.
He pulled away. “That’s fine. Henry said he would show me all of his work.”
Henry removed his bandanna and tightened his robe.
“If he brought his checkbook, you’re in for a treat,” Elaine said to him.
He only smiled.
“How can I ever thank you?” she asked.
She crossed to him and took his hands. “Walk every morning at sunrise and give thanks for all that is around you.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
He hugged her. “Now,” he said. “You have a mission. You must go.”
She backed away, smiled at them all, and headed out the front door.
She had a mission.
Johnnie.