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Apparently, bored with pressing the side of her face and ear against Tasha’s incredibly thin apartment wall, Nisha sighed, turned around and dropped from her knees to her butt on Tasha’s equally thin couch cushions. “Have you met your new neighbors yet?”
Sitting in the reclining chair across from Nisha, Tasha didn’t look up from the laptop perched on her lap. Although winter was approaching fast, she was already working on the upcoming spring line for her small boutique. She’d started selling her current winter’s line two months ago and business was doing well.
And the main reason business was doing so well was because she didn’t rest. Rest was a luxury a small business owner couldn’t afford.
When Tasha didn’t answer right away, her friend cleared her throat. Then, after a few seconds when Tasha still didn’t acknowledge her, Nisha cleared her throat louder.
“You’ve asked me that question, like, twice already,” Tasha finally said, not lifting her head from her work.
“Three times today, but who’s counting? Me. I’m counting.” Nisha grabbed the bag of sour cream and onion potato chips from the coffee table and pulled out an unhealthy amount. “Even though I’m posing it as a question, it’s more of a suggestion. Meet your new insanely hot neighbors, chica.”
At this, Tasha finally glanced up to stare at her oldest and dearest friend in the world who could make stuffing her face with chips look hot. They were both around the same height, five-foot-four, but that’s where their similarities ended. Tasha was lighter skinned, and Nisha was darker. Tasha kept her straight hair cut and styled in layers while Nisha wore her naturally wavy hair free and wild.
Tasha raised her eyebrow. “Then what?”
“Then what, what?” Nisha responded with a mouth full of chips. Her large and expressive brown eyes were lit with confusion as she stared back.
Tasha lifted a shoulder. “Okay, so I go over there, knock on the door and say—”
Nisha’s perfectly pink lips stretched across her face in a wide grin as she waved a hand. “Hi, I’m your smart and sexy entrepreneur next door neighbor—”
Tasha rolled her eyes. “That statement would never leave my mouth. Ever.”
Nisha pointed a chip at her. “We gotta work on that, because it should—often.”
Tasha shook her head, not wanting to take this already ridiculous conversation down another path. Aside from being her best friend—almost like a sister—Nisha was her biggest supporter. She thought Tasha should tell everyone she met that she owned a boutique, was single and ready to mingle.
Only one of those things was true. The other two, eh. She didn’t have time for a man and definitely didn’t have time to mingle.
Tasha let out a breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. She’d been staring at her laptop screen for the past three hours and her eyes were on fire. On top of that, she could already feel the headache coming on from engaging in this conversation.
“Nisha, they moved in like two weeks ago and I’ve only seen them a few times in passing. They stay in their apartment and keep to themselves. I don’t think they want to meet any new friends or new neighbors.”
Nisha scooted to the edge of the couch and rested her elbows on her knees. “Didn’t you say they have an accent and speak a different language? Ask them where they’re from.” She shrugged. “That’s a good icebreaker.”
“They haven’t spoken to me directly. I’ve only heard them talking through the vents.” Tasha nodded toward the vent directly above Nisha’s head by the ceiling.
Nisha waggled her eyebrows. “Girl, why were you letting me waste my time with my ear to the wall?”
“I didn’t—” Tasha stopped speaking when she realized Nisha wasn’t paying attention.
To her shock, her friend stood on the couch in her sock clad feet and stretched her neck toward the vent. “All I hear is a whooshing sound. Turn off the heat so I can hear better.”
“What? Turn off the heat? In November? In Minnesota?” Tasha let out a snort. “Yeah, right.”
Nisha positioned one leg to brace her weight against the back of the couch to give herself extra height.
“What are you doing?” Tasha gasped.
“Just for a few minutes so I can hear.” Then Nisha’s eyes widened. “Wait! I hear them talking.”
Interest piqued, Tasha asked, “What are they saying?”
Nisha angled her ear up toward the vent. “I can’t quite make it out. Besides, I think they’re speaking another language.”
“See? There’s no point in eavesdropping on them.” She knew she shouldn’t entertain Nisha, but she needed to give her eyes a rest anyway.
“This is purely for research purposes. We need to find out where they’re from, if they’re murderers, how often they hit the weights, what’s their hair routine, if they have any girlfriends, what they do for a living—”
“Those are super intrusive questions. If I wanted to know any of that, I would knock on their door.” A look that Tasha recognized all too well splashed across her best friend’s face. “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Nisha jumped from the couch and dashed toward the front door. “Oh, yes.”
“Nisha, I’m sure they don’t want two strange women bothering them.” Tasha sat her computer aside and scrambled to her feet in pursuit.
“But we do!”
Pausing, Nisha and Tasha swiveled their gazes toward the vent where the deep and very masculine voice had come from.
Nisha giggled and slapped her hands together. “See! They want to meet us.”
Tasha could’ve been mistaken, but she was sure that when she groaned, a groan had also come from the vent.
“Come on! Let’s go meet your new neighbors.”
Tasha’s eyes lingered back to her computer. “I still have so much work to—”
Ignoring her protests, Nisha pulled Tasha’s hands to lead her. She was being dragged to the front door before Tasha could finish her sentence.
* * *
“TELL ME EXACTLY WHY you did that?” With his arms crossed, Solgre braced himself against the bathroom door, watching Kien as he tried to smooth the curls in his hair back.
Even from his seat on the ridiculously small armchair, Phate could tell that it wasn’t working. The abundance of water in the atmosphere was doing something strange to the texture of their hair. What use to be short and smooth, was now too long and too wavy.
“Why did I do what, exactly?” Kien asked. “Invite human women to our apartment to cure the boredom that’s been plaguing us since crash landing on this awful, backward planet?”
Phate sighed and leaned back in his chair. “He has a point, Solgre. We’ve been stuck on this planet for four of their Earth months and stuck inside this apartment since we acquired it, only leaving for essentials. Since we couldn’t send the distress beacon via a jump, we don’t know how long it will take for it to reach Thelli.
“We might as well make the best of this situation and meet the locals. At least, we’ll be able to tell the others how first contact went.”
Solgre scrubbed a hand down his stubbled face. “You, too? I thought you would be on my side with this. We should lay low until we get direction from home.”
“Which we won’t receive for a while. The communicator is still down, there’s too much interference in the atmosphere,” Kien pointed out as he squeezed his way through the bathroom doorway and past a disgruntled Solgre. “We’re scientists. We shouldn’t pass up this opportunity to meet the locals and explore their culture firsthand.”
“It’s like neither of you saw that Area 51 documentary on the television. You know the one where humans found a downed spaceship and proceeded to slice up and dissect the aliens inside,” Solgre protested.
Phate frowned. “Did that actually happen or was it just speculation? The aliens didn’t look real at all.”
Kien raised a finger in the air. “Oh, that happened. What I’ve learned so far from watching the television is that documentaries are real. Reality television shows are real. Sitcoms and movies are fake.”
“And still you invited the neighbors over,” Solgre said with a shake of his head.
Kien’s smile stretched. “Female neighbors.”
Solgre slapped a hand over his face. “Great. We’re going to end up in a documentary, dissected for all to see because you’re horny.”
“Captain,” Kien said, all playfulness dropping from his demeanor. “I’ll kill you myself before I let them dissect you alive.”
Solgre’s eyes widened as he turned toward Kien. “Should that make me feel better about the situation?!”
“Listen.” Phate stood. “We have some time here. I know you don’t want us bringing attention to ourselves, and we won’t. But wouldn’t it be nice to tell the others that we at least tried to learn the human ways?”
A look crossed Solgre’s face as he mulled over the idea.
“Fine,” Solgre finally said. “But no telling them who or what we are. I would like to keep my insides firmly inside.”
A determined knock sounded at the door. Solgre glanced pointedly at Phate then Kien. “Understood?”
Since Phate couldn’t think of one reason why he would ever tell a human about himself, he nodded.
“What if they ask why my penis vibrates? I’ll have to tell them something,” Kien said.
“For the love of the Ancients!” Solgre erupted. “How would they find out your penis vibrates?! You’re determined to get us sliced up.”
“How about we don’t have sex with them?” Phate asked as he made his way toward the door.
A horrified look splashed across Kien’s face, and he took a step back. “Don’t have sex?”
Phate unlocked and opened the door. “Right. Don’t have se—”
Phate didn’t get to finish his sentence because his jaw dropped. Standing on the other side of the threshold was the most beautiful female specimen he’d seen in his entire life.
“Oh wow,” Kien muttered from behind him.
“We’re going to end up in so many little pieces,” Solgre grumbled under his breath.