4.5 They take the KING up and lay him on a bed.

KING     Let there be no noise made, my gentle friends,
Unless some dull and favourable hand
Will whisper music to my weary spirit.
WARWICK     Call for the music in the other room.
KING     Set me the crown upon my pillow here.	5
CLARENCE     His eye is hollow, and he changes much.
WARWICK     Less noise, less noise!
Enter PRINCE HENRY.
PRINCE     Who saw the Duke of Clarence?
CLARENCE     I am here, brother, full of heaviness.
PRINCE     How now, rain within doors, and none abroad?
How doth the King?	10
GLOUCESTER     Exceeding ill.
PRINCE     Heard he the good news yet?
Tell it him.
GLOUCESTER     He alter’d much upon the hearing it.
PRINCE
If he be sick with joy, he’ll recover without physic.
WARWICK
Not so much noise, my lords. Sweet Prince, speak low;	15
The King your father is dispos’d to sleep.
CLARENCE     Let us withdraw into the other room.
WARWICK     Will’t please your Grace to go along with us?
PRINCE     No, I will sit and watch here by the King.
Exeunt all but the Prince.
Why doth the crown lie there upon his pillow,	20
Being so troublesome a bedfellow?
O polish’d perturbation! golden care!
That keep’st the ports of slumber open wide
To many a watchful night! Sleep with it now:
Yet not so sound, and half so deeply sweet,	25
As he whose brow with homely biggen bound
Snores out the watch of night. O majesty!
When thou dost pinch thy bearer, thou dost sit
Like a rich armour worn in heat of day,
That scald’st with safety. By his gates of breath	30
There lies a downy feather which stirs not:
Did he suspire, that light and weightless down
Perforce must move. My gracious lord! My father!
This sleep is sound indeed; this is a sleep
That from this golden rigol hath divorc’d	35
So many English kings. Thy due from me
Is tears and heavy sorrows of the blood,
Which nature, love, and filial tenderness
Shall, O dear father, pay thee plenteously.
My due from thee is this imperial crown,	40
Which, as immediate from thy place and blood,
Derives itself to me. [putting it on his head]
Lo where it sits,
Which God shall guard; and put the world’s whole strength
Into one giant arm, it shall not force
This lineal honour from me. This from thee	45
Will I to mine leave, as ’tis left to me.     Exit.
KING     Warwick! Gloucester! Clarence!
Enter WARWICK, GLOUCESTER, CLARENCE and the rest.
CLARENCE     Doth the King call?
WARWICK
What would your Majesty? How fares your Grace?
KING     Why did you leave me here alone, my lords?	50
CLARENCE
We left the Prince my brother here, my liege,
Who undertook to sit and watch by you.
KING
The Prince of Wales? Where is he? Let me see him.
He is not here.
WARWICK     This door is open, he is gone this way.	55
GLOUCESTER
He came not through the chamber where we stay’d.
KING
Where is the crown? Who took it from my pillow?
WARWICK     When we withdrew, my liege, we left it here.
KING     The Prince hath ta’en it hence. Go seek him out.
Is he so hasty that he doth suppose	60
My sleep my death?
Find him, my Lord of Warwick, chide him hither.
Exit Warwick.
This part of his conjoins with my disease,
And helps to end me. See, sons, what things you are,
How quickly nature falls into revolt	65
When gold becomes her object!
For this the foolish over-careful fathers
Have broke their sleep with thoughts,
Their brains with care, their bones with industry;
For this they have engrossed and pil’d up	70
The canker’d heaps of strange-achieved gold;
For this they have been thoughtful to invest
Their sons with arts and martial exercises;
When, like the bee, tolling from every flower
The virtuous sweets,	75
Our thighs pack’d with wax, our mouths with honey,
We bring it to the hive; and like the bees
Are murder’d for our pains. This bitter taste
Yields his engrossments to the ending father.
Enter WARWICK.
Now where is he that will not stay so long	80
Till his friend sickness have determin’d me?
WARWICK
My lord, I found the Prince in the next room,
Washing with kindly tears his gentle cheeks,
With such a deep demeanour in great sorrow,
That tyranny, which never quaff’d but blood,	85
Would, by beholding him, have wash’d his knife
With gentle eye-drops. He is coming hither.
KING     But wherefore did he take away the crown?
Enter PRINCE HENRY.
Lo where he comes. Come hither to me, Harry.
Depart the chamber, leave us here alone.	90
Exeunt Warwick and the rest.
PRINCE     I never thought to hear you speak again.
KING     Thy wish was father, Harry, to that thought;
I stay too long by thee, I weary thee.
Dost thou so hunger for mine empty chair
That thou wilt needs invest thee with my honours	95
Before thy hour be ripe? O foolish youth!
Thou seek’st the greatness that will overwhelm thee.
Stay but a little, for my cloud of dignity
Is held from falling with so weak a wind
That it will quickly drop; my day is dim.	100
Thou hast stol’n that which after some few hours
Were thine without offence, and at my death
Thou hast seal’d up my expectation.
Thy life did manifest thou lov’dst me not,
And thou wilt have me die assur’d of it.	105
Thou hid’st a thousand daggers in thy thoughts,
Which thou hast whetted on thy stony heart,
To stab at half an hour of my life.
What, canst thou not forbear me half an hour?
Then get thee gone, and dig my grave thyself,	110
And bid the merry bells ring to thine ear
That thou art crowned, not that I am dead.
Let all the tears that should bedew my hearse
Be drops of balm to sanctify thy head,
Only compound me with forgotten dust.	115
Give that which gave thee life unto the worms;
Pluck down my officers; break my decrees;
For now a time is come to mock at form –
Harry the fifth is crown’d! Up, vanity!
Down, royal state! All you sage counsellors, hence!	120
And to the English court assemble now
From every region, apes of idleness!
Now, neighbour confines, purge you of your scum!
Have you a ruffian that will swear, drink, dance,
Revel the night, rob, murder, and commit	125
The oldest sins the newest kind of ways?
Be happy, he will trouble you no more.
England shall double gild his treble guilt,
England shall give him office, honour, might:
For the fifth Harry from curb’d licence plucks	130
The muzzle of restraint, and the wild dog
Shall flesh his tooth on every innocent.
O my poor kingdom, sick with civil blows!
When that my care could not withhold thy riots,
What wilt thou do when riot is thy care?	135
O, thou wilt be a wilderness again,
Peopled with wolves, thy old inhabitants!
PRINCE [Kneels.]
O, pardon me, my liege! But for my tears,
The moist impediments unto my speech,
I had forestall’d this dear and deep rebuke,	140
Ere you with grief had spoke and I had heard
The course of it so far. There is your crown;
And He that wears the crown immortally
Long guard it yours! If I affect it more
Than as your honour and as your renown,	145
Let me no more from this obedience rise,
Which my most inward true and duteous spirit
Teacheth this prostrate and exterior bending.
God witness with me, when I here came in,
And found no course of breath within your Majesty,	150
How cold it struck my heart! If I do feign,
O, let me in my present wildness die,
And never live to show th’incredulous world
The noble change that I have purposed!
Coming to look on you, thinking you dead,	155
And dead almost, my liege, to think you were,
I spake unto this crown as having sense,
And thus upbraided it: ‘The care on thee depending
Hath fed upon the body of my father;
Therefore thou best of gold art worst of gold.	160
Other, less fine in carat, is more precious,
Preserving life in med’cine potable;
But thou, most fine, most honour’d, most renown’d,
Hast eat thy bearer up’. Thus, my most royal liege,
Accusing it, I put it on my head,	165
To try with it, as with an enemy
That had before my face murder’d my father,
The quarrel of a true inheritor.
But if it did infect my blood with joy,
Or swell my thoughts to any strain of pride,	170
If any rebel or vain spirit of mine
Did with the least affection of a welcome
Give entertainment to the might of it,
Let God for ever keep it from my head,
And make me as the poorest vassal is,	175
That doth with awe and terror kneel to it!
KING     O my son,
God put it in thy mind to take it hence,
That thou mightst win the more thy father’s love,
Pleading so wisely in excuse of it!	180
Come hither, Harry, sit thou by my bed,
And hear, I think, the very latest counsel
That ever I shall breathe. God knows, my son,
By what by-paths and indirect crook’d ways
I met this crown, and I myself know well	185
How troublesome it sat upon my head.
To thee it shall descend with better quiet,
Better opinion, better confirmation,
For all the soil of the achievement goes
With me into the earth. It seem’d in me	190
But as an honour snatch’d with boist’rous hand,
And I had many living to upbraid
My gain of it by their assistances,
Which daily grew to quarrel and to bloodshed,
Wounding supposed peace. All these bold fears	195
Thou seest with peril I have answered;
For all my reign hath been but as a scene
Acting that argument. And now my death
Changes the mood, for what in me was purchas’d
Falls upon thee in a more fairer sort;	200
So thou the garland wear’st successively.
Yet though thou stand’st more sure than I could do,
Thou art not firm enough, since griefs are green;
And all my friends, which thou must make thy friends,
Have but their stings and teeth newly ta’en out;	205
By whose fell working I was first advanc’d,
And by whose power I well might lodge a fear
To be again displac’d; which to avoid,
I cut them off, and had a purpose now
To lead out many to the Holy Land,	210
Lest rest and lying still might make them look
Too near unto my state. Therefore, my Harry,
Be it thy course to busy giddy minds
With foreign quarrels, that action hence borne out
May waste the memory of the former days.	215
More would I, but my lungs are wasted so
That strength of speech is utterly denied me.
How I came by the crown, O God forgive,
And grant it may with thee in true peace live!
PRINCE     My gracious liege,	220
You won it, wore it, kept it, gave it me;
Then plain and right must my possession be,
Which I with more than with a common pain
’Gainst all the world will rightfully maintain.
Enter PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTER, WARWICK and others.
KING     Look, look, here comes my John of Lancaster.	225
LANCASTER
Health, peace, and happiness to my royal father!
KING
Thou bring’st me happiness and peace, son John,
But health, alack, with youthful wings is flown
From this bare wither’d trunk. Upon thy sight
My worldly business makes a period.	230
Where is my Lord of Warwick?
LANCASTER     My Lord of Warwick!
KING     Doth any name particular belong
Unto the lodging where I first did swoon?
WARWICK     ’Tis call’d Jerusalem, my noble lord.
KING     Laud be to God! Even there my life must end.	235
It hath been prophesied to me, many years,
I should not die but in Jerusalem,
Which vainly I suppos’d the Holy Land.
But bear me to that chamber; there I’ll lie;
In that Jerusalem shall Harry die.     Exeunt.	240

5.1 Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH and page.

SHALLOW     By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away
tonight. What, Davy, I say!
FALSTAFF     You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.
SHALLOW     I will not excuse you, you shall not be
excused, excuses shall not be admitted, there is no	5
excuse shall serve, you shall not be excused. Why,
Davy!
Enter DAVY.
DAVY     Here, sir.
SHALLOW     Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy; let me see, Davy; let
me see, Davy; let me see – yea, marry, William cook,	10
bid him come hither. Sir John, you shall not be
excused.
DAVY     Marry, sir, thus: those precepts cannot be
served; and again, sir – shall we sow the hade land
with wheat?	15
SHALLOW     With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook
– are there no young pigeons?
DAVY     Yes, sir. Here is now the smith’s note for shoeing
and plough-irons.
SHALLOW     Let it be cast and paid. Sir John, you shall not	20
be excused.
DAVY     Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must needs be
had; and sir, do you mean to stop any of William’s
wages, about the sack he lost the other day at Hinckley
fair?	25
SHALLOW     A shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a
couple of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton, and any
pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook.
DAVY     Doth the man of war stay all night, sir?
SHALLOW     Yea, Davy, I will use him well: a friend i’th’	30
court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men
well, Davy, for they are arrant knaves, and will
backbite.
DAVY     No worse than they are backbitten, sir, for they
have marvellous foul linen.	35
SHALLOW     Well conceited, Davy – about thy business,
Davy.
DAVY     I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor
of Woncot against Clement Perkes a’th’ Hill.
SHALLOW     There is many complaints, Davy, against that	40
Visor; that Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.
DAVY     I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir: but yet
God forbid, sir, but a knave should have some
countenance at his friend’s request. An honest man,
sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave is not. I	45
have served your worship truly, sir, this eight years;
and if I cannot once or twice in a quarter bear out a
knave against an honest man, I have but a very little
credit with your worship. The knave is mine honest
friend, sir, therefore I beseech your worship let him be	50
countenanced.
SHALLOW     Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look
about, Davy.     Exit Davy.
Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, off with
your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.	55
BARDOLPH     I am glad to see your worship.
SHALLOW     I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master
Bardolph; and [to the page] welcome, my tall fellow.
Come, Sir John.
FALSTAFF     I’ll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.	60
Exit Shallow.
Bardolph, look to our horses.
Exeunt Bardolph and page.
If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four
dozen of such bearded hermits’ staves as Master
Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the semblable
coherence of his men’s spirits and his. They, by	65
observing of him, do bear themselves like foolish
justices; he, by conversing with them, is turned into a
justice-like servingman. Their spirits are so married in
conjunction, with the participation of society, that
they flock together in consent, like so many wild geese.	70
If I had a suit to Master Shallow, I would humour his
men with the imputation of being near their master: if
to his men, I would curry with Master Shallow that no
man could better command his servants. It is certain
that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is caught,	75
as men take diseases, one of another; therefore let men
take heed of their company. I will devise matter
enough out of this Shallow to keep Prince Harry in
continual laughter the wearing out of six fashions,
which is four terms, or two actions, and a shall laugh	80
without intervallums. O, it is much that a lie with a
slight oath, and a jest with a sad brow, will do with a
fellow that never had the ache in his shoulders! O, you
shall see him laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill
laid up!	85
SHALLOW     [within] Sir John!
FALSTAFF     I come, Master Shallow, I come, Master
Shallow.     Exit.

5.2 Enter WARWICK and the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE, meeting.

WARWICK
How now, my Lord Chief Justice, whither away?
CHIEF JUSTICE     How doth the King?
WARWICK     Exceeding well: his cares are now all ended.
CHIEF JUSTICE     I hope, not dead.
WARWICK     He’s walk’d the way of nature,
And to our purposes he lives no more.	5
CHIEF JUSTICE
I would his Majesty had call’d me with him.
The service that I truly did his life
Hath left me open to all injuries.
WARWICK
Indeed I think the young King loves you not.
CHIEF JUSTICE     I know he doth not, and do arm myself	10
To welcome the condition of the time,
Which cannot look more hideously upon me
Than I have drawn it in my fantasy.
Enter PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTER, CLARENCE, GLOUCESTER and others.
WARWICK     Here come the heavy issue of dead Harry.
O that the living Harry had the temper	15
Of he, the worst of these three gentlemen!
How many nobles then should hold their places
That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort!
CHIEF JUSTICE     O God, I fear all will be overturn’d.
LANCASTER
Good morrow, cousin Warwick, good morrow.	20
GLOUCESTER, CLARENCE     Good morrow, cousin.
LANCASTER     We meet like men that had forgot to
speak.
WARWICK     We do remember, but our argument
Is all too heavy to admit much talk.
LANCASTER
Well, peace be with him that hath made us heavy!	25
CHIEF JUSTICE     Peace be with us, lest we be heavier!
GLOUCESTER
O good my lord, you have lost a friend indeed;
And I dare swear you borrow not that face
Of seeming sorrow – it is sure your own.
LANCASTER
Though no man be assur’d what grace to find,	30
You stand in coldest expectation.
I am the sorrier; would ’twere otherwise.
CLARENCE
Well, you must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair,
Which swims against your stream of quality.
CHIEF JUSTICE
Sweet Princes, what I did I did in honour,	35
Led by th’impartial conduct of my soul.
And never shall you see that I will beg
A ragged and forestall’d remission.
If truth and upright innocency fail me,
I’ll to the King my master that is dead,	40
And tell him who hath sent me after him.
WARWICK     Here comes the Prince.
Enter KING HENRY THE FIFTH, attended.
CHIEF JUSTICE
Good morrow, and God save your Majesty!
KING     This new and gorgeous garment, majesty,
Sits not so easy on me as you think.	45
Brothers, you mix your sadness with some fear.
This is the English, not the Turkish court;
Not Amurath an Amurath succeeds,
But Harry Harry. Yet be sad, good brothers,
For by my faith it very well becomes you.	50
Sorrow so royally in you appears
That I will deeply put the fashion on,
And wear it in my heart. Why then, be sad;
But entertain no more of it, good brothers,
Than a joint burden laid upon us all.	55
For me, by heaven, I bid you be assur’d,
I’ll be your father and your brother too;
Let me but bear your love, I’ll bear your cares.
Yet weep that Harry’s dead, and so will I;
But Harry lives, that shall convert those tears	60
By number into hours of happiness.
PRINCES     We hope no otherwise from your Majesty.
KING     You all look strangely on me – and you most;
You are, I think, assur’d I love you not.
CHIEF JUSTICE     I am assur’d, if I be measur’d rightly,	65
Your Majesty hath no just cause to hate me.
KING     No?
How might a prince of my great hopes forget
So great indignities you laid upon me?
What! rate, rebuke, and roughly send to prison	70
Th’immediate heir of England? Was this easy?
May this be wash’d in Lethe and forgotten?
CHIEF JUSTICE
I then did use the person of your father;
The image of his power lay then in me;
And in th’administration of his law,	75
Whiles I was busy for the commonwealth,
Your Highness pleased to forget my place,
The majesty and power of law and justice,
The image of the King whom I presented,
And struck me in my very seat of judgment;	80
Whereon, as an offender to your father,
I gave bold way to my authority
And did commit you. If the deed were ill,
Be you contented, wearing now the garland,
To have a son set your decrees at naught?	85
To pluck down justice from your aweful bench?
To trip the course of law, and blunt the sword
That guards the peace and safety of your person?
Nay more, to spurn at your most royal image,
And mock your workings in a second body?	90
Question your royal thoughts, make the case yours,
Be now the father, and propose a son,
Hear your own dignity so much profan’d,
See your most dreadful laws so loosely slighted,
Behold yourself so by a son disdain’d:	95
And then imagine me taking your part,
And in your power soft silencing your son.
After this cold considerance sentence me;
And, as you are a king, speak in your state
What I have done that misbecame my place,	100
My person, or my liege’s sovereignty.
KING     You are right, Justice, and you weigh this well.
Therefore still bear the balance and the sword;
And I do wish your honours may increase
Till you do live to see a son of mine	105
Offend you and obey you, as I did.
So shall I live to speak my father’s words:
‘Happy am I, that have a man so bold
That dares do justice on my proper son;
And not less happy, having such a son	110
That would deliver up his greatness so
Into the hands of justice.’ You did commit me:
For which I do commit into your hand
Th’unstained sword that you have us’d to bear,
With this remembrance – that you use the same	115
With the like bold, just, and impartial spirit
As you have done ’gainst me. There is my hand.
You shall be as a father to my youth,
My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine ear,
And I will stoop and humble my intents	120
To your well-practis’d wise directions.
And Princes all, believe me, I beseech you,
My father is gone wild into his grave,
For in his tomb lie my affections;
And with his spirits sadly I survive	125
To mock the expectation of the world,
To frustrate prophecies, and to raze out
Rotten opinion, who hath writ me down
After my seeming. The tide of blood in me
Hath proudly flow’d in vanity till now.	130
Now doth it turn, and ebb back to the sea,
Where it shall mingle with the state of floods,
And flow henceforth in formal majesty.
Now call we our high court of parliament,
And let us choose such limbs of noble counsel	135
That the great body of our state may go
In equal rank with the best-govern’d nation;
That war, or peace, or both at once, may be
As things acquainted and familiar to us;
In which you, father, shall have foremost hand.	140
Our coronation done, we will accite,
As I before remember’d, all our state:
And, God consigning to my good intents,
No prince nor peer shall have just cause to say,
God shorten Harry’s happy life one day!     Exeunt.	145

5.3 Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE, DAVY, BARDOLPH and page.

SHALLOW     Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an
arbour, we will eat a last year’s pippin of mine own
graffing, with a dish of caraways, and so forth – come,
cousin Silence – and then to bed.
FALSTAFF     Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling,	5
and a rich.
SHALLOW     Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars
all, Sir John – marry, good air. Spread, Davy, spread,
Davy, well said, Davy.
FALSTAFF     This Davy serves you for good uses; he is	10
your serving-man, and your husband.
SHALLOW     A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good
varlet, Sir John – by the mass, I have drunk too much
sack at supper – a good varlet. Now sit down, now sit
down – come, cousin.	15
SILENCE     Ah, sirrah! quoth-a, we shall
[Sings.]
Do nothing but eat, and make good cheer,
And praise God for the merry year,
When flesh is cheap and females dear,
And lusty lads roam here and there, So merrily,	20
And ever among so merrily.
FALSTAFF     There’s a merry heart, good Master Silence!
I’ll give you a health for that anon.
SHALLOW     Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.	25
DAVY     Sweet sir, sit – I’ll be with you anon – Most sweet
sir, sit; master page, good master page, sit. Proface!
What you want in meat, we’ll have in drink; but you
must bear; the heart’s all. Exit.
SALLOW     Be merry, Master Bardolph, and my little soldier there, be merry.	30
SILENCE     [Sings.]
Be merry, be merry, my wife has all,
For women are shrews, both short and tall.
’Tis merry in hall, when beards wags all,
And welcome merry Shrove-tide! Be merry, be merry.	35
FALSTAFF     I did not think Master Silence had been a
man of this mettle.
SILENCE     Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere
now.
Enter DAVY.
DAVY     [to Bardolph] There’s a dish of leather-coats for	40
you.
SHALLOW     Davy!
DAVY     Your worship? I’ll be with you straight. [to
Bardolph] A cup of wine, sir?
SILENCE     [Sings.]
A cup of wine that’s brisk and fine,	45
And drink unto thee, leman mine,
And a merry heart lives long-a.
FALSTAFF     Well said, Master Silence.
SILENCE     And we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet
o’th’ night.	50
FALSTAFF     Health and long life to you, Master Silence.
SILENCE     [Sings.]
Fill the cup, and let it come,
I’ll pledge you a mile to th’ bottom.
SHALLOW     Honest Bardolph, welcome! If thou want’st
anything, and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. [to the	55
page] Welcome, my little tiny thief, and welcome
indeed, too! I’ll drink to Master Bardolph, and to all
the cabileros about London.
DAVY     I hope to see London once ere I die.
BARDOLPH     And I might see you there, Davy, –	60
SHALLOW     By the mass, you’ll crack a quart together –
ha! will you not, Master Bardolph?
BARDOLPH     Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.
SHALLOW     By God’s liggens, I thank thee; the knave will
stick by thee, I can assure thee that. A will not out, a;	65
’tis true bred!
BARDOLPH     And I’ll stick by him, sir.
SHALLOW     Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing!
Be merry! [One knocks at door.] Look who’s at door
there, ho! Who knocks?     Exit Davy.	70
FALSTAFF     [to Silence, seeing him take off a bumper]     Why,
now you have done me right.
SILENCE     [Sings.] Do me right,
And dub me knight:
Samingo.	75
Is’t not so?
FALSTAFF     ’Tis so.
SILENCE     Is’t so? Why then, say an old man can do
somewhat.
Enter DAVY.
DAVY     And’t please your worship, there’s one Pistol	80
come from the court with news.
FALSTAFF     From the court? Let him come in.
Enter PISTOL.
How now, Pistol?
PISTOL     Sir John, God save you!
FALSTAFF     What wind blew you hither, Pistol?	85
PISTOL     Not the ill wind which blows no man to good.
Sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in
this realm.
SILENCE     By’r lady, I think a be, but goodman Puff of
Barson.	90
PISTOL     Puff?
Puff i’ thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee,
And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,	95
And golden times, and happy news of price.
FALSTAFF     I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of
this world.
PISTOL     A foutre for the world and worldlings base!
I speak of Africa and golden joys.	100
FALSTAFF
O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
SILENCE     [Sings.] And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
PISTOL     Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
And shall good news be baffled?	105
Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies’ lap.
SHALLOW     Honest gentleman, I know not your
breeding.
PISTOL     Why then, lament therefor.
SHALLOW     Give me pardon, sir; if, sir, you come with	110
news from the court, I take it there’s but two ways,
either to utter them or conceal them. I am, sir, under
the King, in some authority.
PISTOL     Under which king, Besonian? Speak, or die.
SHALLOW     Under King Harry.
PISTOL     Harry the Fourth, or Fifth?	115
SHALLOW     Harry the Fourth.
PISTOL     A foutre for thine office!
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is King;
Harry the Fifth’s the man: I speak the truth.
When Pistol lies, do this, and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.
FALSTAFF     What, is the old King dead?	120
PISTOL     As nail in door! The things I speak are just.
FALSTAFF     Away, Bardolph, saddle my horse. Master
Robert Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the
land, ’tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with
dignities.	125
BARDOLPH     O joyful day!
I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
PISTOL     What, I do bring good news?
FALSTAFF     Carry Master Silence to bed. Master
Shallow, my Lord Shallow – be what thou wilt; I am	130
Fortune’s steward! Get on thy boots, we’ll ride all
night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph!
Exit Bardolph.
Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal devise
something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master
Shallow! I know the young King is sick for me. Let us	135
take any man’s horses – the laws of England are at my
commandment. Blessed are they that have been my
friends, and woe to my Lord Chief Justice!
PISTOL     Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
‘Where is the life that late I led?’ say they:	140
Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days!     Exeunt.

5.4 Enter Beadles, dragging in HOSTESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET.

HOSTESS     No, thou arrant knave! I would to God that I
might die, that I might have thee hanged. Thou hast
drawn my shoulder out of joint.
1 BEADLE The constables have delivered her over to me,
and she shall have whipping-cheer enough, I warrant	5
her; there hath been a man or two lately killed about
her.
DOLL     Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie! Come on, I’ll tell
thee what, thou damned tripe-visaged rascal, and the
child I go with do miscarry, thou wert better thou	10
hadst struck thy mother, thou paper-faced villain.
HOSTESS     O the Lord, that Sir John were come! He
would make this a bloody day to somebody. But I pray
God the fruit of her womb miscarry!
1 BEADLE If it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions	15
again; you have but eleven now. Come, I charge you
both, go with me, for the man is dead that you and
Pistol beat amongst you.
DOLL     I’ll tell you what, you thin man in a censer, I will
have you as soundly swinged for this – you blue-bottle	20
rogue, you filthy famished correctioner, if you be not
swinged I’ll forswear half-kirtles.
1 BEADLE Come, come, you she knight-errant, come!
HOSTESS     O God, that right should thus overcome
might! Well, of sufferance comes ease.	25
DOLL     Come, you rogue, come, bring me to a justice.
HOSTESS     Ay, come, you starved bloodhound.
DOLL     Goodman death, goodman bones!
HOSTESS     Thou atomy, thou!
DOLL     Come, you thin thing, come, you rascal!	30
1 BEADLE Very well.     Exeunt.

5.5 Enter three Grooms, strewers of rushes.

1 GROOM More rushes, more rushes!
2 GROOM The trumpets have sounded twice.
3 GROOM ’Twill be two o’clock ere they come from the
coronation. Dispatch, dispatch.     Exeunt.
Trumpets sound, and the KING and his train pass over the stage: after them enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, PISTOL, BARDOLPH and the page.
FALSTAFF     Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow, I	5
will make the King do you grace. I will leer upon him
as a comes by, and do but mark the countenance that
he will give me.
PISTOL     God bless thy lungs, good knight!
FALSTAFF     Come here, Pistol, stand behind me. [to	10
Shallow] O, if I had had time to have made new
liveries, I would have bestowed the thousand pound I
borrowed of you. But ’tis no matter, this poor show
doth better, this doth infer the zeal I had to see him.
SHALLOW     It doth so.	15
FALSTAFF     It shows my earnestness of affection –
SHALLOW     It doth so.
FALSTAFF     My devotion –
SHALLOW     It doth, it doth, it doth.
FALSTAFF     As it were, to ride day and night, and not to	20
deliberate, not to remember, not to have patience to
shift me –
SHALLOW     It is best, certain.
FALSTAFF     But to stand stained with travel, and sweating
with desire to see him, thinking of nothing else,	25
putting all affairs else in oblivion, as if there were
nothing else to be done but to see him.
PISTOL     ’Tis semper idem, for obsque hoc nihil est; ’tis all
in every part.
SHALLOW     ’Tis so, indeed.	30
PISTOL     My knight, I will inflame thy noble liver,
And make thee rage.
Thy Doll, and Helen of thy noble thoughts,
Is in base durance and contagious prison,
Hal’d thither	35
By most mechanical and dirty hand.
Rouse up Revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto’s snake,
For Doll is in. Pistol speaks naught but truth.
FALSTAFF     I will deliver her. [Shouts within.]
[The trumpets sound.]
PISTOL
There roar’d the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.	40
Enter the KING and his train, the
Lord Chief Justice among them.
FALSTAFF
God save thy Grace, King Hal, my royal Hal!
PISTOL
The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp of fame!
FALSTAFF     God save thee, my sweet boy!
KING     My Lord Chief Justice, speak to that vain man.
CHIEF JUSTICE
Have you your wits? Know you what ’tis you speak?	45
FALSTAFF
My King! My Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
KING     I know thee not, old man. Fall to thy prayers.
How ill white hairs becomes a fool and jester!
I have long dreamt of such a kind of man,
So surfeit-swell’d, so old, and so profane;	50
But being awak’d I do despise my dream.
Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace;
Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape
For thee thrice wider than for other men.
Reply not to me with a fool-born jest;	55
Presume not that I am the thing I was;
For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,
That I have turn’d away my former self;
So will I those that kept me company.
When thou dost hear I am as I have been,	60
Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
The tutor and the feeder of my riots.
Till then I banish thee, on pain of death,
As I have done the rest of my misleaders,
Not to come near our person by ten mile.	65
For competence of life I will allow you,
That lack of means enforce you not to evils;
And as we hear you do reform yourselves,
We will, according to your strengths and qualities,
Give you advancement.
[to the Lord Chief Justice] Be it your charge, my lord,	70
To see perform’d the tenor of my word.
Set on.     Exit King with his train.
FALSTAFF     Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand
pound.
SHALLOW     Yea, marry, Sir John, which I beseech you to	75
let me have home with me.
FALSTAFF     That can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not
you grieve at this; I shall be sent for in private to him.
Look you, he must seem thus to the world. Fear not
your advancements; I will be the man yet that shall	80
make you great.
SHALLOW     I cannot perceive how, unless you give me
your doublet, and stuff me out with straw. I beseech
you, good Sir John, let me have five hundred of my
thousand.	85
FALSTAFF     Sir, I will be as good as my word. This that
you heard was but a colour.
SHALLOW     A colour that I fear you will die in, Sir John.
FALSTAFF     Fear no colours. Go with me to dinner.
Come, Lieutenant Pistol; come, Bardolph. I shall be	90
sent for soon at night.
Enter the Lord Chief Justice and PRINCE JOHN, with officers.
CHIEF JUSTICE     Go carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet;
Take all his company along with him.
FALSTAFF     My lord, my lord, –
CHIEF JUSTICE
I cannot now speak: I will hear you soon.	95
Take them away.
PISTOL     Si fortuna me tormenta, spero me contenta. Exeunt all but Prince John and the Chief Justice.
LANCASTER     I like this fair proceeding of the King’s.
He hath intent his wonted followers
Shall all be very well provided for,	100
But all are banish’d till their conversations
Appear more wise and modest to the world.
CHIEF JUSTICE     And so they are.
LANCASTER
The King hath call’d his parliament, my lord.
CHIEF JUSTICE     He hath.	105
LANCASTER     I will lay odds that, ere this year expire,
We bear our civil swords and native fire
As far as France. I heard a bird so sing,
Whose music, to my thinking, pleas’d the King.
Come, will you hence?     Exeunt.	110

EPILOGUE

First, my fear; then, my curtsy; last, my speech.
My fear, is your displeasure; my curtsy, my duty;
and my speech, to beg your pardons. If you look for a
good speech now, you undo me, for what I have to say
is of mine own making; and what indeed I should say	5
will, I doubt, prove mine own marring. But to the
purpose, and so to the venture. Be it known to you, as
it is very well, I was lately here in the end of a
displeasing play, to pray your patience for it, and to
promise you a better. I meant indeed to pay you with	10
this; which if like an ill venture it come unluckily
home, I break, and you, my gentle creditors, lose. Here
I promised you I would be, and here I commit my
body to your mercies. Bate me some, and I will pay
you some, and, as most debtors do, promise you	15
infinitely: and so I kneel down before you – but,
indeed, to pray for the Queen.
If my tongue cannot entreat you to acquit me, will
you command me to use my legs? And yet that were
but light payment, to dance out of your debt. But a	20
good conscience will make any possible satisfaction,
and so would I. All the gentlewomen here have
forgiven me: if the gentlemen will not, then the
gentlemen do not agree with the gentlewomen, which
was never seen before in such an assembly.	25
One word more, I beseech you. If you be not too
much cloyed with fat meat, our humble author will
continue the story, with Sir John in it, and make you
merry with fair Katharine of France; where, for
anything I know, Falstaff shall die of a sweat, unless	30
already a be killed with your hard opinions; for
Oldcastle died martyr, and this is not the man. My
tongue is weary; when my legs are too, I will bid you
good night.