Chapter Ten

Naomi thanked Samuel for supper for the second time after they left the pizza restaurant Saturday night. Her date was as nice a fellow as ever, polite and even entertaining. Samuel was a storyteller, someone who had a tale to tell about most everything. Naomi had laughed more than usual, but aside from that, there was nothing special about the evening, and she’d known there wouldn’t be. She supposed she’d only agreed to go so that her parents wouldn’t think she was somehow involved with Brock.

Following a quick hug at the door, Naomi waved to Samuel and quietly opened the door into the living room. Her father was on the couch with his socked feet propped up on the coffee table, and he was reading a book. He took off his reading glasses and laid the opened book across his chest, then he yawned.

“Did I stay out too late?” She looked at the clock on the mantel. It was only seven thirty. “Where are the girls?”

“I sent them upstairs early. I just checked on them. They are coloring pictures.” Daed yawned again. “I love those maed, but this babysitting stuff is a job for your mother. She has more energy than I do.”

“I hate that Mamm wasn’t feeling well this evening.”

“Just a stomach bug, she said, but she didn’t want to give it to you or the girls. And it’s just as well I came instead. You and I need to talk.”

Naomi sat down in the rocking chair across from the couch. “If this is about Brock . . .”

Her father raised his eyebrows. “Ach, well, it isn’t. But I guess it can be, if you’d like.”

“Is it too soon for me to date?” She laid her hands on her tummy. “Because I really don’t want to anyway.”

“Then why did you go?”

Naomi shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I thought . . .” She raised her shoulders and lowered them again, then repeated herself. “I don’t know.”

“You are with child, and this makes me very happy.” Her father smiled, but his eyes said something was wrong. Rubbing his forehead, he blew out a long breath. “I don’t even know how to ask this, mei maedel. But I need to know the truth about something.”

Naomi swallowed back a knot forming in her throat. “What, Daed?”

“Did Stephen ever cause harm to you when he was alive? Did he ever . . . hit you?”

Naomi wished the rocking chair could take flight and carry her away from this conversation. Avoiding her father’s eyes, she nodded. When she looked back at him, he dabbed at his eyes, and she quickly moved to sit by him on the couch. She grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Daed, please . . . I’m okay. I’m fine.”

“How could I have not known?” he said in a shaky voice. “Why did you not come to your mamm or me? Why, Naomi?”

“I thought I wasn’t a gut enough frau. And I was ashamed.”

They sat quietly just holding hands for a while.

“I’m the one who is ashamed, my child. From the day you were born, I’ve tried to keep you safe.”

There was that word again. “I am safe. Now.”

They quieted again as embers from the fire sparked and crackled. Then her father gave her hand a final squeeze and eased his from hers.

“How was your date?” He closed the book still open in his lap and set it on the couch next to his glasses before he turned toward Naomi and rolled his eyes.

“What was that for?”

“I was just thinking about you dating Samuel Troyer.”

Naomi smiled. “Ya, he is probably not the one for me. He is very nice, but . . .”

“He’s too young for you.”

“He’s twenty-seven, my age, Daed.”

“But you are older in mind and spirit. Kinner have a way of doing that to you.” He winked at her, and she was glad to see him returning to his old self. “And you’ve always been wise beyond your years.” He paused. “So, do you love him?”

“Samuel? Nee! I do not.”

Her father shook his head. “Nee, of course not Samuel. You know exactly who I’m talking about. I’m old, mei maedel, not stupid. I recognize when two people care about each other. I saw it the night I came over when you were all playing that board game at the coffee table.”

Naomi pulled her eyes away from him. “Is it wrong to care about him?” When her father didn’t answer, she turned to him. “He’s not Amish. And he’s older than me.”

Her father sighed. “Ya, he’s not Amish, and he’s older than you.”

Naomi’s chest hurt as her heart hammered away. “I wouldn’t have your blessing, would I?”

Daed scratched his cheek, then stroked his beard, something he did when he was heavy in thought. “I keep running a few things over in my mind.” He held up a finger, then went back to running his hand the length of his beard. “First of all, you shared news with this man that you didn’t share with your parents. Pretty important news. You told him you were with child, and you told him about Stephen.”

Not exactly. Abby told him about Stephen. She decided to sit on that information for now. Her father’s plate seemed full at the moment.

“Has he behaved inappropriately in any way with you?”

Naomi shook her head. “Nee.”

“I didn’t think so.” He paused, kept stroking his beard, but finally looked her in the eye. “There is danger in being involved with an Englisch person. Your heart leads the way, no matter what your mind might tell you. You will leave your community and your faith for this man.”

“Nee, I don’t think I could do that.”

“Oh, ya, you could. But that’s not my biggest fear. It used to be. But that was before I found out the type of danger you were living in without my knowledge. I’m more fearful now of someone hurting you, I think, than anything else. It sickens me to think—”

“Daed, Brock would never do anything like that. He’s the only man I’ve ever felt completely safe with.” She nudged him with her shoulder. “Except you.”

“Security isn’t love, mei maedel. Love him for the right reasons or don’t love him at all. He has loved and lost greatly in his life.”

“You mean his wife dying?”

“Ya, ya. And his parents and grandparents have passed. I think I told you that he has a bruder out of state, but no other family.”

“Ya, his bruder has two children and lives in Oklahoma. And did you know his grandparents were Amish?”

Her father laughed. “Ya, I did. I see you two have covered a lot of territory in the short time you’ve known each other.”

“I suppose we have.”

Daed laughed lightly again. “Your mamm thinks he is a handsome man, and we’ve been married long enough that she can say things like that.” Daed shrugged. “To me, he just looks like an average beau, but what do I know about such things?”

Naomi quietly waited to see if her father was going to approve of Naomi seeing where things went with Brock. She was old enough that she didn’t need his approval, but his blessing meant a great deal to her.

“So, are there any more skeletons in your closet that your mamm and I should know about?” He glanced at her stomach. “You wouldn’t have been able to wait much longer on that little secret.”

“I know.” She smiled as her father stood up.

Naomi lifted herself from the couch and walked her father to the door.

“Mei maedel . . .” He kissed her on the forehead, which had become a magnet for everyone’s lips lately. “Give much thought and consideration to a life with Brock. Security and safety are not enough reasons to build a home with someone.”

“Esther Rose gave Brock her blankie,” Naomi said as her father stepped over the threshold, pausing his stride as he turned to her and ran his hand the length of his beard again. “Hmm . . . that’s big for that little one.”

“Ya, it is.” Naomi had been shocked when Esther Rose told her the news, and when she’d questioned her, Esther Rose had simply said, “He needs it more than me.” “Try not to worry, Daed. I’m not going to get hurt.”

He offered a weak smile. “It’s not just you I’m worried about. I don’t want to see Brock or your girls hurt either.”

Brock flipped the channels on the television, finally landing on the weather channel. He didn’t think he would miss TV if he didn’t have it. It was simply a sound to fill the emptiness around him. He reached for a book he’d been trying to read, but staying focused on a book about World War II only made him think about how unfair life was. He glanced at the tattered pink blanket on the couch. He’d prayed for Naomi to find a good man, and it only made sense for her to be with one of her people—and someone younger. If it wasn’t Samuel Troyer, there would be others in her district who would come calling.

He had talked to her twice over the past week, but he made sure to keep any emotion at bay. She’d tried to ease him into deeper conversations beyond the weather, the harvest being done, and him missing her cooking, but he’d reverted back to those topics each time. His heart hurt, and it wasn’t just her he missed. Brock missed Abby and Esther Rose too.

God, I have one more thing to ask You. Whoever Naomi ends up with, please, I pray that he will be good to her and Abby and Esther Rose for all of their days.

Then his ears perked up when something on television caught his attention.

Tonight is the harvest moon.

Naomi walked outside, forcing one foot in front of the other in the bright light of the harvest moon. Face your fear.

As she stood in the middle of her front yard, the moist blades of grass twinkled like stars that had fallen from the sky, illuminated by the big orb of light in the sky. And gazing up at it now, she knew that there was nothing to be afraid of.

Fear had controlled her life for years. But not anymore. God had brought her to this time and place for a reason, and Naomi would have to trust His plan for her.

She turned her attention to the road that led to her house. As bright lights lit her driveway, she wondered who would be visiting at eight o’clock at night. When the headlights went dark, Brock stepped out of his truck and walked toward her. Naomi’s heart began to thud in her chest. Something must be wrong.

Brock stopped in front of her, his large frame blocking the light of the moon, casting a protective shadow on Naomi.

“I felt compelled to come check on you.” One side of his mouth crooked up a little bit, and for the hundredth time, Naomi thought about how much she’d missed him. “I wanted to make sure the harvest moon hadn’t swallowed you up or something,” he added.

“I’m pretty sure I can take care of myself these days.” Naomi smiled a little, realizing that she had grown stronger over the past month. She kept her gaze on him, her heart still pounding, wondering why he was really here.

Brock took off his coat and put it over Naomi’s shoulders. “You’re shivering.”

Naomi pulled the collar of the huge garment snug around her neck as Brock’s bottom lip quivered. “Now it’s you who is cold,” she said.

He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I’m okay.”

Naomi stared at him for several long moments. “Do you remember telling me that you were praying for me to find a gut man to take care of me and my children?”

“Yes. Has that happened?” Brock looked away, seeming to examine the fields.

Naomi waited until he looked back at her, then she nodded. “Ya, I have found a gut man who will take care of me and the girls, someone I care deeply for. But I’m not sure how he feels about me.”

Brock looked down. “You deserve to be happy. So do the girls.”

When he didn’t look back at her, Naomi said, “Brock . . .” She paused, knowing she could wish him well, go back inside, and stay in the comfort of her protected heart. Or she could take a large step forward and embrace the life God had given her a preview of. “I prayed for you too,” she said when he finally looked at her, the light of the moon forming a halo around Brock’s head. “I prayed for you to find a good woman, maybe even someone who could give you a family.”

Brock didn’t say anything, but his bottom lip quivered again. From the cold or something else?

Naomi took a step closer to him, her eyes still raised to his. “Have you found that person? A good woman to love you, someone to give you a family?”

Brock took his hands from his pockets and dropped them to his sides. “Yes. I have. I want to love and cherish this woman and her children for the rest of my life, but I’m not sure I’m the best man for her.”

“Why is that?” Naomi held her breath as her lip trembled now too.

“I’m a bit older than her, and the woman I’ve fallen for is Amish.”

Naomi’s heart warmed her in a way that she’d never known, so much so that she pulled the coat from around her neck, then reaching up, she draped it across Brock’s shoulders. She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest. He pulled the oversized coat around Naomi and held her close.

Naomi heard her father’s words loud and clear. There is danger in being involved with an Englisch person. Your heart leads the way, no matter what your mind might tell you. You will leave your community and your faith for this man.

Her father was a wise man, and he’d been correct. Naomi was allowing her heart to lead the way, and she would leave her community for this man. But her father had been wrong also. Naomi would never leave her faith. It would go with her wherever she went.

“I think this Amish woman you speak of would be very lucky and blessed to have you in her life.” She eased away from him, still unbothered by the frigid temperatures that had crept up on them the past few days. Her heart was providing enough heat to keep her warm for the rest of her life. “Do you want to come in and have some coffee? Maybe we can talk about the opportunities God has placed before us.”

“I’d like that.” Brock took Naomi’s hand and they started across the yard, but Naomi stopped and looked over her shoulder. Then she turned completely and faced the light in the sky. There wasn’t magic in the moon’s glow like Pearl had spoken of. Instead, it was a bright reminder of the miraculous ways that God provides for His children.

Brock turned around also, and they both stood quietly under the harvest moon. When they started toward the house again, Brock chuckled.

They stopped on the front porch and faced each other. “What’s so funny?” Naomi smiled back at him.

He stared over her shoulder and into the sky. “I was just wondering what my parents and grandparents would think right now. When I was a kid, I begged my parents to let me be Amish, even though they’d chosen not to themselves. They said when I was grown, I could make that choice.” He looked back at Naomi. “But then I met Patty in high school, and she was Lutheran, so it didn’t work out that way.” Brock turned toward the sky again. “I think that my grandparents are smiling from heaven, knowing that there’s a strong chance I’ll finally have my wish.”

When Brock turned to face her again, they were quiet. But Naomi’s heart spoke to Brock in a language she knew he understood. I lieb you.

And when Brock smiled at her, she knew he’d heard her silent declaration in his own heart, and she heard his heart speaking back to her. I lieb you too.