A MONSTER
I held her until I felt her relax in my arms, all her strength sapped by her breakdown. For a while, she seemed to forget that it was me, the man she hated so much, holding her. She might not have noticed, but I’d never been more aware of anything in my life.
I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent. Everything else was different, but that was the same: sunlight and spring. I committed it to memory.
I’d dreamed about this moment — her body pressed against mine, the crown of her head tucked perfectly beneath my chin like we’d been designed to fit together. Whenever I was somewhere cold or dangerous or just fucking lonely, I’d reach inside my head and find this fractured glimpse of Faith — her arms around me, her forehead against the hollow of my throat where my pulse throbbed a little too fast.
There was nowhere in the world I’d rather be.
Eventually, she recovered her senses enough to realize that she’d collapsed against my chest and cried approximately half of the Pacific Ocean into my t-shirt. Her breaths slowed from heaves to hiccups and her entire body tensed against mine. When she moved to pull away, I tightened my grip on her for just a moment and held her to me.
I’d listened to her tirade — it was my turn to say something.
“Maybe you’re right, Red,” I murmured, my mouth against her hair. “Maybe I am hateful. Maybe I ruined your life. Maybe I’m the devil, and the worst thing that ever happened to you, and a million other awful things.” I tilted my head so my lips brushed her earlobe, and felt her shudder in response. “But did you ever stop to think that even if I am a monster… I might be your soulmate, anyway?”
With that, I released my hold on her, turned around, and walked outside, not waiting for her response. I knew she wouldn’t have one for me — at least, not one I’d like.
The welcome release I felt when my fist slammed against the first oak tree I stumbled across wasn’t enough to make me forget her, but it did distract me from the pain inside my chest for a few short moments.
And, right now, that was enough.