Dear Diary,
Please, God, somebody stop me! The Devil has wrested control of my soul. I started out with such noble intentions, but I no longer recognize who I am.
I wanted to help people, to help the lame walk again, to help the blind to see. But all that drives me now is the money. I’m consumed by it every second, every minute, every hour of the day.
The more packages of human tissue that depart for distant shores, the more dollars land in my bank account and I’m addicted to their impact. I have enough money for a hundred lifetimes. But even that is not enough. Greed has taken hold of me and will not let me go.
Dear God, where will it all end…?
* * *
Rohan sifted through the files that covered every available surface of his desk and had even spilled over to Bryce’s. He’d received the files he’d requested from Samantha and had examined each and every one of them closely. There was one thing for certain: None of the people he’d interviewed had exaggerated about the sudden rise in the number of organ donations over the winter months.
From the beginning of June to the end of August, there had been ninety-three deaths at the Sydney Harbour Hospital that had resulted in organ donations. Fifty-nine of them were female. There were a range of ages, but the majority of the deceased were over the age of seventy-five. There was no doubt about it. Winter was harsh on the elderly.
His mother was no exception.
Rohan had spoken to her only that morning and was relieved that she sounded much better. The cough had almost disappeared and she talked about going out for lunch. The health crisis seemed to be over and he was glad. It was hard enough working a difficult investigation without worrying over his mom’s well being.
His thoughts drifted to Samantha and her mom who was so much sicker than his. She’d confided in him the night they’d made love that her mother was in desperate need of a kidney. It saddened him to think the woman could die before a donor was located and he understood Samantha’s frustration and fear. He sure as hell wasn’t ready to lose a parent and he knew Sam’s mother was all she had left.
She’d told him about her father and how he’d died when she was barely twelve months old. With no memories of the man who’d helped create her, she was forced to rely on photos and stories shared by Alistair and her older sisters to gain any sense of him at all. The thought that she might also lose her mother prematurely was a lot for her to bear. She refused to even contemplate the possibility, preferring to concentrate on the present and make the most of her time with her mom.
Many people would have succumbed to despair. Samantha knew better than most the odds of finding a match weren’t in her mom’s favor. Rohan admired her positive attitude. It wasn’t the only thing he admired. He was only just discovering what wonders existed beneath her surface even though a decade earlier they’d considered themselves good friends.
The affable girl he’d had fun hanging out with every now and then had given him no indication of the passionate, cheeky, loving woman she’d become. He only hoped their very new and fragile relationship could stand the test of time and the inevitable pressures it would come under.
With a sigh, he flicked through the notes he’d made during the course of his examination of the records. Out of the ninety-three donor cases, thirty-six of them had been sent to the Glebe Morgue for autopsies. All but seven of those thirty-six cases had the death certificate signed by Alistair Wolfe.
On the surface, it wasn’t entirely unexpected. The doctor was the head of the team, but when Rohan looked closer and discovered that out of the thirty-one cases bearing Alistair’s Wolfe’s signature, every one of them had the organ donation authorization given by Richard Davis, a cold ball of suspicion settled deep in his stomach and refused to go away.
The next step was to ascertain whether the organ retrievals had occurred in accordance with each patient’s consent. That duty was at the heart of the investigation. Of itself, a surge in organ donations wasn’t cause for concern. In fact, he was sure there were many people ecstatic over the figures. They showed that the various private and government initiatives to increase public awareness had been a huge success.
Those campaigns might very well be the true reason, but Rohan’s gut was telling him there was more to it. Besides, both Hannah and Samantha had come forward because they’d felt something wasn’t right and they were in a good position to know. For his sake and for Samantha’s, he hoped everything was aboveboard. The alternative was unthinkable. If it turned out the organ retrievals hadn’t been carried out in accordance with donors’ wishes, it would mean the doctors involved in the retrieval process, and maybe even the deputy state coroner, were responsible for something unspeakable.
The thought was beyond abhorrent and Rohan refused to waste another moment in speculation. First, he’d compare the consent forms they had with the reality of what had been removed and go from there. As for the missing consent forms… He’d deal with them later. With a firm course of action, he reached for the phone and dialed the Max Grace Funeral Home. His call was picked up on the fourth ring.
“Is that Hannah Langdon?” he asked when it was answered by a young female.
“Yes, it is. May I help you?”
“It’s Detective Coleridge. You attended the station with Samantha Wolfe and spoke to me about your concerns regarding deceased persons showing signs of beyond the usual organ donation.”
“Yes, of course. I remember you.”
“Good. I was wondering if you could help me. I’ve obtained the records of everyone who died since the beginning of June who consented to donate their organs. In order to know if the organs were lawfully obtained, I need to compare the terms of the consent forms with the state of the bodies. Are you able to provide me with a list of names of the deceased you’ve had through your office and the evidence you witnessed of the removal of tissues?”
“I’m sorry, Detective. I won’t be able to help you.”
Rohan frowned. “Why not?”
“We don’t keep those kinds of records. I noticed the unusual number of bodies coming in with signs that they’d been organ donors, but I didn’t make a note of who it was or what was missing. And even if I did, it would only be a guess. I don’t reopen the incisions. I can only speculate about what might have been removed.”
Rohan’s shoulders slumped with disappointment, but he wasn’t willing to concede defeat at that point. “What about some of the other funeral homes? Would they keep those kinds of records?”
“I wouldn’t think so,” she replied doubtfully. “There’s no need. We prepare the body for its final burial and at all times, we treat it with courtesy and respect. It’s not necessary for us to open the body—and keeping notes concerning who donated what just seems wrong. I think most embalmers would feel that way.”
Rohan bit back a sigh. Thanking her for her time, he ended the call. Flipping through the police file, he located the phone numbers of three of the other funeral parlors and called them one by one. After the third call, he hung up the phone, defeated. It was just as Hannah had predicted. No one kept records of who had donated organs and tissues and what had been taken. His only hope was to compare the consents with the autopsy reports of the thirty-six coronial cases that had been examined in the Glebe Morgue.
Tugging his cell phone out of his pocket, he speed-dialed Samantha and couldn’t help but smile when she picked up right away.
“Hey, you,” she said and he could hear the laughter in her voice. He hated that his request was going to sour her mood.
“Hi, how are you?” he asked. “How’s your day so far?”
“Not too bad. Busy. You know how it is.”
“Yeah, I sure do.”
“What time will you finish?”
“I’m not sure. I’m hoping to get out of here by six. How about you?”
“If I’m lucky, I’ll get out of here by then. Do you have any plans?” she asked.
“That depends,” he teased.
“On what?” she replied and the laughter was back.
“On whether you’re up for another night of passion.”
“Rohan!” she gasped. “I’m at work! Someone might hear you!”
“What, do you have me on speaker?”
“No, of course not.” Her tone lowered. “But, you know…”
“No, I don’t. Please, enlighten me.”
“Rohan!” she protested and he could almost feel her embarrassment. It endeared her to him even more.
“Okay! Okay! I’ll behave; I promise.” He laughed.
“Good. Now, was there a reason for your call, or did you just want to say hello?”
Just like that, his mood sobered. “Actually, it is partially work-related. I have a question: When you record details of an autopsy, do you make a note of all of the organs present and those that are missing?”
“Yes,” she answered warily, as if she wasn’t quite sure where this was headed. “The reports should be in the files I’ve given you.”
Rohan frowned. He’d been through each and every file more than twice. He hadn’t seen any such reports. “They don’t seem to be there.”
“They might still be waiting to be filed. We’ve had some of our administration staff down sick on and off this winter. It doesn’t take long for paperwork to pile up.”
Rohan nodded, accepting her explanation. “No problem, but I need to get hold of the autopsy findings on the thirty-six people who went through your facility over the winter months. I need to compare what was found during the post mortem to the actual consent forms.”
Samantha was quiet on the other end of the phone and Rohan could understand her reticence. She was a smart woman. She had to know it was almost certain her brother was involved. The question was, whether the good doctor was merely doing his job to a high degree of dedication, or whether something illegal had occurred.
“I’ll get on it,” she murmured.
* * *
Sam sat beside her mom and did her best to keep her mind off the fact they were once again in the Dialysis Unit of the Sydney Harbour Hospital. Each hemodialysis session lasted about four hours and Sam sat with her mother to keep her company whenever she could.
It was difficult to sit there week after week and pretend she wasn’t affected by the sight of her beautiful mom getting weaker and frailer each time. The cloud of thick, wavy black hair she used to sport had thinned and faded to a salt-and-pepper gray. Her once-healthy skin now held a sickly pallor and the lively personality was more often than not buried beneath the burden of her chronic illness.
Sam wished for the thousandth time that either she or one of her siblings had tested positive as a compatible donor, but it hadn’t worked out that way. Enid Wolfe had given birth to four children and despite the fact any one of them would have willingly offered her a kidney, not one of them had been a match. After years of suffering with kidney disease, Enid’s kidney function was totally compromised and she was now forced to rely on dialysis to keep her alive.
It had been nearly six years since her kidney function had deteriorated to the extent dialysis was necessary. The longer it went on, the more likely it was her kidneys would call it quits altogether. Sam knew as well as anyone that when that day came, her mom’s life would be as good as over.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she made a conscious effort to block out that depressing thought. Her mom was the only parent she’d ever known. She couldn’t imagine life without her. She didn’t want to imagine life without her.
There was still so much they had to share. Sam hadn’t given up hope of getting married, having children, celebrating birthdays, christenings; graduations. All the bits and pieces of everyday life that many people, including Sam, used to take for granted. She’d assumed her mom would be around to see Sam live them and yet there was a real chance she wouldn’t.
Dammit, it wasn’t fair!
“How have you been, Sammie?”
Sam forced her lips into a smile and replied in a light tone. “Good, Mom. Busy at work. The usual.” She tried not to think of Rohan and his investigation.
“How’s Alistair? I haven’t seen him for a week and he hasn’t called for ages.”
“I think he’s okay. I haven’t seen him for a while, either. He’s really busy, too.”
“You all work too hard. Ava and Jessie are the same. They sit with me when they can, but I know they both have clients waiting while they’re here keeping me company. Jessie’s phone never stops ringing. She has it switched to silent, of course, but I still hear it vibrate.”
She grinned and Sam grinned back, pleased to see her mom was in good spirits. It was hard enough for Sam to contemplate what would happen if a donor kidney wasn’t found in time. She couldn’t imagine how much harder it must be for her mom.
“I’ll call Alistair and let him know that you’re here. He might be able to get away for a little while, and come down and say hello.”
“Is he at work today?”
“I’m not sure, but it’s worth a try. He spends most of his waking hours here.” Sam pulled out her phone and dialed his number. The call went through to his mailbox and she left a brief message.
Enid shook her head. “Like I said, he works too hard. He has a wife and two children who need some of his time, too. He forgets that.” She turned to look at Sam. “How are you doing on that front? Are there any possibilities on the horizon? Have you met anyone special on that dating site?”
Heat swept across Sam’s cheeks. “Mom! I can’t believe Alistair told you! I’m going to kill him!”
“Don’t be too hard on him, Sammie. He wasn’t making fun of you and he didn’t mean to breach your confidence. I think he thought it would cheer me up, knowing you were doing something about finding a husband. You’re thirty-four, honey. Your body’s clock is ticking. I hate to remind you, but time’s running out if you want to have a family.”
Sam rolled her eyes. “What about Ava and Jessie? They’re a year older than me and they haven’t managed to produce a grandchild.”
“Yes, and I give the same talk to them,” her mother smiled. “But at least they have boyfriends. That’s a start.”
Sam sighed. It wasn’t like she hadn’t heard it all before. “It’s not just kids I want, Mom. I want the whole package—the perfect fantasy. A husband I adore and who thinks just as highly of me. A kid or two. The big backyard and the white picket fence.”
She reached over and took her mother’s hand. “I want what you and Dad had. I know I was too young to know him. Hell, I don’t even remember him, but I’ve heard so many stories about him from you and Alistair as well as a few from Ava and Jessie. I’ve watched the family movies over and over again. They were taken before I was born and yet I can’t help feeling the love and respect that you had for each other and I yearn to have the same. I don’t want to settle for anything less.”
Enid squeezed Sam’s hand. The faint pressure brought tears to Sam’s eyes. Her mom had been a strong and vibrant woman until the onset of this insidious disease.
“And so you shouldn’t, Sammie. Hold out for your prince charming. It’s a long time married to the wrong man. A lot of my friends have lived to regret their hasty decisions.”
Sam nodded. She also had friends who’d married way too young. Many were her age and already on their second time around. She didn’t want to be one of those women. She had too much respect for the institution of marriage and all that it represented to commit herself to someone for life without thinking it through from all angles.
“Would you like a drink of water, Mom?” she asked and received a grateful nod.
“That would be lovely, Sammie. Thank you.”
Sam stood and filled a glass with water from a jug that stood near the armchair where her mom reclined. She handed it to her mother and waited for her to drink.
“Thank you, honey,” her mom said when she finished and handed her back the glass. “I was a little thirsty. That water tasted good.”
“You let me know if you want some more, Mom,” Sam murmured.
“I will, darling. I will.” Sam returned to her seat.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“What question was that, Mom?”
“I asked if you’d met anyone special on that dating site. I mean, it’s a little unconventional and it certainly isn’t the way we did things when I was young, but if that’s how people meet each other these days, then I guess it’s all right.”
Sam laughed. She bent down and picked up her handbag from where she’d stowed it under her chair and pulled out her iPad. Logging onto the dating website, she turned the screen around so that her mother could see it.
“Take a look at some of the people who set up profiles on these sites. Read their bios. Some of them are bound to give you a laugh.”
Her mother reached for the iPad and began to scroll through the pages. Every now and then, she’d let out a chuckle. Once or twice, she laughed.
“Oh, this one is downright desperate!” She smiled. “Why on earth would anyone go out with someone like that?”
Sam grinned. “I guess you have to give them points for trying. You never know… They say there’s someone out there for everyone, don’t they?”
Her mom’s attention remained on the screen and she didn’t answer. A few moments later, she said, “That’s a nice photo of you, Sammie.”
Sam blushed. Her mom had obviously found Sam’s profile page. Knowing that her mom wouldn’t stop at the photo, heat crept further across her face. She pulled out her phone and busied herself by pretending to read through emails.
Her mom eventually broke the silence. “It reads well, Sammie, although I didn’t know you like watching black and white movies. Still, your bio’s appealing and you look fabulous in that photo. If I were a man looking for love, I’d snap you up right away!”
Sam burst out laughing and her mom joined her. It felt so good to share such a simple thing with the woman she loved more than anyone else in the world. She thought of Rohan and wished for a moment he were there. He’d spoken to her about his parents and siblings and she could tell from the love and quiet pride in his voice how much they meant to him.
Family was important to him. It was just another thing she liked about him. He was a man with many admirable qualities, not the least being the way he made her feel. On impulse, she opened her mouth and found herself talking about him.
“It’s funny you say that, Mom. I’m thinking about taking that profile down.”
“Why, Sammie? It’s lovely and I’ve reconciled to the fact young people do things differently these days. I guess with all this technology at your fingertips, you might as well put it to good use. You won’t be the only person to find the love of their life on the Internet.”
“Well, actually, I think I might have found him the good old-fashioned way.”
“What do you mean?”
“My prince charming.”
The surprise that flooded her mother’s beloved face was almost comical. “Samantha Grace Wolfe! How could you have kept something so momentous from me! We’ve been sitting here for at least three hours and you haven’t breathed a word! Shame on you!”
Sam laughed and her mom joined in. “I want to hear all the details,” Enid begged.
Now that she’d opened that Pandora’s box, Sam wasn’t sure what to say. Since she’d spent the night at Rohan’s house they’d barely seen each other. He was busy with the investigation and she was also doing long hours at work. Between the two of them, they’d only had time to make the occasional phone call and most of those had been late at night.
Sam thought of the call they’d shared the night before and blushed. It wasn’t exactly phone sex, but it had sure sent the heat rushing through her veins. Her mother’s eyes narrowed and a smile played around her lips.
“Sammie… Talk to me,” she said sternly, mock warning in her voice.
Sam took a deep breath and exhaled. “His name is Rohan Coleridge. He’s a detective, stationed in the city.”
Her mother’s eyebrow rose in surprise. “A detective? How did you meet?”
“I’ve known him since I was in college. He used to date my roommate.”
“Oh, wow! That’s interesting! All that time and you never thought about hooking up.”
“It was…complicated.”
“And now it’s not?”
She shrugged. “Something like that. Let’s just say, we sorted out our differences.”
“Well, I’m glad, Sammie. Is he nice?”
“Yes, Mom. He’s very nice.”
“When do I get to meet him?”
“Mom! We’ve only just started going out! We’re not exactly up to the ‘meeting the parents’ stage.”
“But you’ve known him for a decade.”
“Yes, but… As I said, back then it was complicated.”
“Are his parents still alive?”
“Yes, they live at Cronulla. His mom’s been sick with a prolonged bout of the flu, but otherwise I understand they’re reasonably healthy.”
“That’s good. Does he have any siblings?”
“Yes, a lot. Four brothers and three sisters. I’m not sure where they all live, but Rohan’s the only one in Sydney.”
“Mm, I’m glad he has family. Family’s important. Life can throw you curve balls when you least expect it. Having family around is one of the things that can see you through to the other side. Nobody knows you like your family and you can’t rely on anyone like you can on them.”
“If you’re close,” Sam added.
Her mother frowned. “Is he not close to his family?”
“I’m not sure, Mom. I guess so. He speaks about them with fondness. That’s how I know he cares.”
“You said he’s a detective. That’s a very challenging job. Long hours and very little gratitude from those they serve and protect. I think life’s tougher on police officers than most.”
“Yes, more often than not, it’s a thankless job. You couldn’t pay me enough to be one.”
Enid smiled. “And this is coming from you—a person who spends their days examining corpses.”
“Mom! I love my job! It’s very intriguing and rewarding and—”
“Hey, I’m glad you feel that way,” her mom said holding up her hands in a sign of surrender. “All I meant was, some people would find your job as undesirable as you find that of a police officer.”
“You’re right. We’re all different. I guess that’s what makes things interesting.”
A comfortable silence fell between them. Sam returned to her emails.
“So, is he good-looking, this detective of yours?”
Sam blushed. “He’s not mine, Mom! We’re dating; taking it slowly; seeing where it might lead.” She paused and then added, “But yes, he’s definitely been blessed in the looks department. He reminds me of pictures I’ve seen of Dad. Blond and blue-eyed with a broad chest and shoulders.”
Enid’s expression turned serious. “Do you think that might be why you’re attracted to him? Because he looks like your dad?”
Sam contemplated the question. Until now, she hadn’t given it any thought. “I don’t think so.”
“It’s not good to go looking for a substitute father figure, especially one you never knew. Nobody can live up to the ideals of a ghost.”
Sam was shaking her head even before her mom had finished. “No, Rohan’s definitely not that. He has coloring like Dad’s, but that’s where the similarities end.”
“How old is he?”
“The same age as me.”
Her mother nodded and her expression relaxed. “Good. I’m glad he’s young. If you’d told me his was fifty, I’d have been concerned.”
Sam smiled and reassured her mother once again. “I’m okay about growing up without a father, Mom. I am. Some people would be bitter and twisted about the fact they never knew their dad, but I’m not one of them and I’m not looking for someone to replace him.” She shrugged and then continued. “Dad was a heavy smoker. He died of lung cancer years before his time. It happens. I’m a doctor. I understand these things.”
A sad smile tugged at Sam’s lips. “I’m not saying I haven’t wished that things were different or that I don’t hate that he died so young, but I’m not hung up about it and I’m not going around trolling for men who remind me of him. Okay?”
She looked up at her mom and her throat tightened when she saw the tears that filled her mother’s eyes.
“Okay,” Enid whispered in a choked voice.
Sam fished around inside her bra for a tissue and handed it over. “Don’t cry, Mom.”
Enid accepted the tissue gratefully and dabbed at the moisture in her eyes.
Sam grimaced. “I’m supposed to be here cheering you up and keeping your mind off things and here I am, making you cry. What kind of dialysis buddy am I?”
Her mom reached over and patted her hand. “You’re the best dialysis buddy anyone could hope for.”
Sam laughed. “Don’t let Ava or Jessie hear you say that, or even Alistair! They’ll never sit with you again!”
Her mom’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “How do you know I don’t tell them the very same thing when they sit in that chair?”
“Mom!” Sam gasped in mock outrage. “You’ve wounded me to the quick!” Despite her attempt to keep a stern expression on her face, her laughter spilled over.
Enid chuckled, unperturbed. “I’m sure you’ll get over it, Sammie. Maybe your detective can help.”
The sly look in her mother’s eyes sent heat once again rushing to Sam’s face, but she closed her mouth and refused to reply. A nurse appeared before them.
“All finished, Enid. Give me a moment and I’ll get you unhooked and then you’ll be free to go.”
“Finished already? Wow, the time went so quickly! How about that, Sammie? Maybe you really are the best dialysis buddy!” Her mom winked and Sam couldn’t help but grin. She was filled with gratitude that once again, her mother had been able to maintain her sense of humor. Until a donor kidney was found, the dialysis sessions would remain a regular part of her mother’s life.
The need to attend upon the clinic three times a week had severely curtailed her mother’s activities. Once upon a time, before the word dialysis was part of her everyday vocabulary, Enid Wolfe had been a very active woman. In her younger years, she’d raised four children on her own with only a nurse’s wage. In later years, she’d been involved in so many different charity projects, Sam used to wonder how her mom managed to spend any time at home.
Since she’d been told she could no longer survive without dialysis, Sam couldn’t help but wonder if sometimes it got her mother down. Pleased that she’d been able to take her mother’s mind off her troubles, even for a little while, Sam leaned over and pressed a kiss against her mother’s soft cheek.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, Sammie. You’re a good daughter and I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy day to spend some time with me. I wasn’t lying when I said the time’s gone by more quickly today. I enjoyed our chat and I’m so pleased to hear you’ve found someone special. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“You will, Mom. I promise. Soon. I just don’t want to rush things.”
“I understand, honey and thank you again for sitting with me.”
“It’s fine, Mom. I love spending time with you. Besides, walking from work up to the hospital gets me out in the sunshine. Most days, it’s only during my commute that I even know what the weather’s like!” She grinned and her mom grinned back.
A rush of tenderness and gratitude flooded through her. Neither of them knew how many more hours they had left to spend together. Sam intended to make every one of them memorable.
“I have to get back to work, Mom, but I’ll make sure the nurse has arranged for the patient transport to take you back home,” she promised.
“All right, honey. I’ll see you soon.”
Sam leaned over and kissed her mom again. Collecting her handbag from beneath her chair, she turned and quietly left the room.