The following morning, Sam didn’t show up for school. They’d had another bad snowstorm in the night, so Becca thought perhaps Jesse couldn’t get his horse and buggy through the tall drifts that covered the dirt road leading from his farm. Since she lived just one mile away from his place, she knew the plows had been out early that morning to clear the county roads so the school buses with the Englisch kids could get to school safely. And that benefited the Amish too. But each farm had a dirt road that extended quite a way down and no one plowed that for them. Maybe tonight, she’d suggest to Jakob that he take his horses and sleigh over to Jesse’s place to help clear his driveway and road.
Two hours into the school day, she was standing in front of the chalkboard, helping the fourth-graders work through some particularly difficult arithmetic problems. The front door suddenly blasted open with a gust of chilly air. Becca whirled around and saw little Sam standing there with his father. Both of them were bundled up in heavy black coats, boots, knit caps, gloves and scarfs. While Jesse closed the door, the boy hurried over to the coatracks where he doffed his winter wear and hung it up. A quick glance at the other first-graders told him what subject they were working on as he slid into his seat and took out his penmanship book. And that’s when Becca saw his red eyes and tearstained face. The boy had obviously been crying. But why? What was the matter?
“I’m sorry we’re late. It couldn’t be helped.” Jesse lifted a hand as he spoke in Deitsch.
Under normal circumstances, Becca would have just smiled and welcomed Jesse and Sam to school. But the fact that Sam had been crying upset her. Setting the chalk aside, she walked over to Jesse and indicated she’d like him to accompany her outside where they could speak in private.
“Continue with your studies, please,” she called to the scholars before shutting the door against intrusion.
Standing on the front step, she faced Jesse, her emotions a riot of unease. “What has happened? Why is Sam so late?”
It was only when he responded that she realized she had also spoken in Deitsch. His and Sam’s sudden appearance had flustered her more than she liked to admit.
Jesse shrugged, not meeting her gaze. “Sam had a bad morning. He is all right now.”
“Are you sure? He looks distressed.” She spoke in Englisch this time, trying to remain professional.
“Ja, he is fine now.”
Hmm. His comment led her to believe it wasn’t the heavy drifts of snow that had caused Sam to cry. So, what had happened?
“Are you sure you’re up to bringing him home this afternoon after school? We got nine inches out at our place and I don’t want you stranded on the road somewhere,” Jesse said.
He acted like everything was completely normal, which confused her even more. Little six-year-old boys didn’t cry for no reason. Maybe she could find out what was the matter from Sam, although that might prove difficult since the boy didn’t talk.
“Ja, the sky is clear and the snow is melting now,” she said. “We shouldn’t have any more storms for several days. I should be able to bring Sam home and tutor him this afternoon without any problems.”
“Gut, I’ll see you then. I’ll watch for you and komm looking for you if you’re late arriving at my place.”
His words gave her a bit of comfort. It was nice to know someone was looking out for her in case she had trouble with her horse and buggy.
Jesse turned and walked down the steps, his long legs moving fast as he stepped around muddy areas where the snow had melted into puddles.
Rubbing her arms against the frigid air, Becca didn’t call him back or question him further. She had no right to interfere.
She returned to the classroom and discovered that the students hadn’t made much progress without her help. Lenore Schwartz, an eighth-grader, had just stepped in to offer assistance. With Becca’s arrival, Lenore handed over the piece of chalk and returned to her desk.
“Thank you, Lenore,” Becca called after the girl in a pleasant voice.
“You’re willkomm.” The girl nodded and smiled shyly.
Becca could tell some of the scholars were becoming more relaxed around her. After all, this was only her sixth day of teaching these kids. She was delighted to know they were starting to feel comfortable enough to step in and help the younger children.
“Let’s see, where are we?” Pressing a finger to her lips, Becca stepped up to the chalkboard and studied the problem once more.
She glanced at Susan Hostetler, one of the fourth-graders who was working this particular problem. Becca pointed at a specific area of the addition. “I think you’re getting hung up right here.”
“Ach, I told you so. You’re adding it wrong.” Caleb Yoder spoke with impatience.
Since Caleb was her only fifth-grader, she had brought him in to work with the fourth-graders. He brushed past Susan, picked up a piece of chalk and started to work her problem. Becca intervened, quickly erasing what he had written on the board.
“Caleb, this is Susan’s problem to work out. Please wait patiently for your turn,” she said.
The other children frowned with disapproval at Caleb’s rude behavior and he stepped back with a huff. Becca was glad. Maybe peer pressure would help keep Caleb in line.
Becca faced Susan again. “Did you remember to carry the nine?”
For several moments, Susan stared at the chalkboard, her forehead knitted in a deep frown of concentration. Then, the light clicked on inside her brain and she gasped in comprehension. “Ach, it’s right here!”
The girl quickly worked the problem, wrote the answer below, then turned to face Becca with an expectant smile. “Is it right this time? Is it?”
Becca nodded, showing a wide smile of approval. “You are absolutely correct. Well done!”
“Yay!” the girl cried, her face wide with a happy smile.
A laugh broke from Becca’s throat. She loved this part of teaching. When she saw the light of knowledge glimmer in one of her student’s eyes, it made her happy too. Yesterday, she’d doubted herself so much. But maybe she could do this after all. Once again, a part of her couldn’t help wishing she could marry and have a familye of her own. Since Vernon had broken her heart, it wasn’t to be. After the way he’d treated her, she didn’t think she could trust another man ever again. And moping about her shattered dreams wouldn’t do her any good. She had better get on with her life and make the best of it. But successes like this brought her a great deal of satisfaction and joy.
“Very well done,” she praised Susan again, then glanced at Caleb. “I think you’re a bit too advanced for these problems. You’ll need a more difficult fraction to add.”
She could tell her words pleased him. Praise usually brought on Hochmut, the pride of the world, so it wasn’t encouraged among the Amish. But Becca thought a small compliment might help Caleb in this situation. While he watched her quizzically, she quickly wrote out a more strenuous problem with multiple fractions. Then, she handed her piece of chalk to him and stepped back to give him room to work.
He pressed his tongue to his upper lip while he studied the equation. Within moments, he had solved the problem with very little hesitation. He was definitely a bright scholar. Maybe that was the reason he kept getting into trouble. He was bored.
Well, she would just have to give him more work to do.
“Yay!” the other children called, quick to forgive him for being discourteous and quick to offer encouragement.
Becca laid a hand on Caleb’s shoulder and met his eyes. “Very well done, Caleb. In fact, I think you are advanced enough that you should start helping one of the younger children with their arithmetic. How would you like to become Sam’s math partner?”
Caleb glanced at the little boy, who sat quietly studying at his desk. A frown curved Caleb’s mouth downward and Becca feared he might refuse.
“You know he doesn’t speak, but you’re such a gut student that I know you can explain things to him.” Becca whispered the words for Caleb’s ears alone. After all, she didn’t want to hurt Sam’s feelings. “You’re quite a bit older and Sam really looks up to you. I’m sure he’d appreciate your help. And I’d love to tell your vadder that you’re one of our school tutors.”
A flicker of delight blazed in Caleb’s eyes. He liked that. A lot.
“But you mustn’t do Sam’s work for him,” she cautioned, still speaking softly so the other kids wouldn’t overhear. “Just help show him where he might be getting the problems wrong and let him figure things out himself. Then we’ll tell everyone what a gut tutor he has.”
That did the trick. Caleb nodded and immediately went over to sit close to Sam and help with his simple addition. Caleb sat up straight, his movements filled with confidence. And Becca knew she’d done a good thing. Caleb was very bright and getting too bored, which led to him causing trouble in the school. But elevating him to tutor would help him focus more on helping Sam. It would help him concentrate on helping someone else instead of getting into trouble. Caleb would now be Sam’s protector instead of his tormentor.
Feeling good about her day of teaching, Becca returned to her work with the other scholars and the morning whizzed by way too fast. She felt happy inside, knowing she’d just resolved a huge problem with Caleb. It made her glad she was a teacher. Glad she had come here to Colorado.
“Teacher Becca?”
She looked up and saw Karen Yoder holding her hand high in the air.
“Yes, Karen?” she said.
Karen indicated the clock on the wall. “It’s lunchtime, teacher. I thought you might be too busy to notice.”
Glancing at the clock, Becca gasped and realized her mistake. It was already eleven thirty. Where had the morning gone?
“Thank you, Karen. Scholars, please return to your desks and stand while we say our prayer of thanks,” she said.
The children at the chalkboard returned to their seats and all the students stood while they recited in unison. When they finished, the scholars each gathered their lunch pails and congregated in several huddles to eat.
“When you’re finished with your lunch, you’re welcome to go outside and build a snowman. Or if it’s too cold and you prefer to stay inside, feel free to get out the game boards and play quietly together,” Becca told them.
The kids nodded, speaking in muted voices, an occasional laugh piercing the air. None of them went outside today. They stayed inside and played games instead.
Becca sat at her desk, putting the finishing touches on the end-of-year program while she took bites of her ham sandwich. And that’s when she looked up and saw something amazing. Instead of teasing the younger boys, Caleb had invited little Sam and Andy over to join him and the older boys in a game of Life on the Farm. Sam didn’t speak but he participated silently and smiled when he did something right. The other children encouraged him, acting the way she expected them to.
Becca smiled to herself, realizing maybe she could be a good teacher after all. Last week, she’d felt as though she were a failure. That she never should have come to Colorado. But what she had done with Caleb Yoder had been a big achievement. Maybe she could make it as a teacher after all.
Now, if she could just figure out how to help Sam speak again, she would be truly happy. This afternoon, she would drive the little boy home and offer him some tutoring. She’d be sure to spend a little extra time bouncing ideas off Jesse as to how to help his son as well. She prayed that he wouldn’t resist and would take her advice well. And maybe during their conversation, she could find out what had caused Sam to cry that morning. She just hoped Jesse hadn’t been cruel to his son. She liked Jesse. She really did. She just wished he was more sensitive to his son’s needs.
By four o’clock that afternoon, Becca and Sam hadn’t arrived at the house and Jesse was ready to go find them. He stumbled on his way out of the back shed and headed toward the barn. Even though it was still early, the sky was overcast with a cluster of gray clouds. Maybe the roads had iced up already. It was certainly cold enough. He didn’t know how good a driver Becca was and started to worry.
He led Jimmy, his road horse, out of the barn. Taking a deep inhale of fresh air, he tried to clear his muddled mind. A blaze of panic almost overtook him. The horrible feeling of being out of control and losing everything that was good in life. And he couldn’t do a single thing to stop it from happening. Maybe Becca hadn’t been paying attention and went off the road. Maybe she and Sam were lying hurt somewhere in a ditch...
The jingle of a harness brought his attention and he looked up. Becca’s horse and buggy pulled into the graveled yard. Jesse saw her and his son sitting on the front seat, both of them bundled up against the frigid air. Becca held the leather lead lines with her gloved hands, seeming alert and attentive as she drove with confidence.
“Danke, Lord. Danke for bringing them home safe.” Jesse whispered the prayer of gratitude beneath his breath.
They were here. He could stop worrying. At least until Becca had to drive to her farm in an hour or so.
“Hallo!” she called as she hopped out of the buggy.
She reached back to help Sam down. The boy rested his little hands on her shoulders without hesitation. And that’s when Jesse noticed his son seemed to trust his teacher quite a bit.
“Were you going somewhere?” she asked, looking at his horse as they walked over to greet him. Her blue eyes were bright and alive, her cheeks and nose pink from the chilled temperatures. He could see each of her exhales like a puff of smoke on the frosty air. And looped over one arm, she carried a rather large basket covered by a clean cloth. Probably her school books for tutoring Sam.
He nodded, leaning against Jimmy’s front shoulder. For some reason, he felt extra tired today, though he’d never admit it to Becca. “Ja, I was getting ready to go and find you. Now that you’re here, I’ll put your horse in the barn until you’re ready to leave.”
Without being asked, Sam helped his father. Becca stood near the wide double doors, watching silently as they stabled her horse and offered it some water.
“It’s barely four o’clock,” she said. “I don’t know why you were getting ready to komm and find us. School gets out at three thirty and I had to make sure all the scholars were picked up by their eldre and secure the building before I could leave...”
He turned to face her and her eyes widened and she gasped. “Jesse! What happened to you?”
Feeling confused, he reached up and touched his forehead where he discovered a giant bump forming there.
“It’s nothing. I was working to repair one of the walls in the back shed and took a fall off the ladder a little while ago.” He reached for the halter to lead Jimmy back inside the warm barn too.
Becca and Sam followed after him. The boy didn’t speak but took hold of his father’s elbow, his face creased with concern. Jesse could tell Sam was worried about him.
“Geht es dir gut?” Becca asked.
“Ja, I’m all right,” he reassured them both. “The fall just knocked the wind out of me. I didn’t realize I’d hit my head until just now.”
He released Jimmy back into his stall and shut the door. No wonder he had a mild headache and had been disoriented a few minutes earlier. But now, he could feel his mind clearing and realized he’d been stunned by the fall.
“Let’s go inside the house. It’s too cold out here,” Becca said.
She still looked anxious and for some crazy reason that touched Jesse’s heart like nothing else could. It had been a long time since someone had fretted and cared about him.
Even though he still had cows to milk and chickens to feed, he didn’t argue with her. He wanted something warm to drink and then he’d finish his evening chores.
They went inside the back door, the warmth of the potbellied stove engulfing them. Though this house and the surrounding corrals and outbuildings needed tons of repairs, at least the old stove worked well as long as he kept it supplied with fuel.
Becca set her basket on the table and doffed her gloves and heavy shawl. She helped Sam do the same, tossing his hat and coat carelessly on a chair. While Becca went to the kitchen cupboards, Jesse placed more wood on the fire. When he set the kettle on the stove to heat up, he glanced over and saw Becca retrieving a clean dishcloth from a drawer. Thankfully, she didn’t say a word about the sink filled with dirty dishes. He planned to wash them later tonight but knew his home suffered from his lack of tidiness. Alice had always kept their place immaculate and in good order. But with all the work he had to do just to get ready for spring planting, he couldn’t seem to keep up with everything.
He didn’t question Becca when she went outside to fill the dishcloth with small chunks of ice. By the time she’d returned, he had sat down to rest a moment. Without a word, she promptly placed the cold cloth over his forehead. He flinched and she moved more gently, her fingertips warm against his skin.
“Hold this against your head for a few minutes. It’ll help the swelling go down,” she said.
“I don’t need this,” he said.
“Ja, you do,” she insisted. “I’m wondering if I should take you to see Eli Stoltzfus. He can tell if you need to go to the hospital in town.”
Jesse had met Eli and knew the man was a certified paramedic who worked for the small hospital in Riverton. Since Jesse was a firefighter, he wasn’t surprised to find an Amish paramedic here. He knew they never drove any automotive vehicles, but the Amish had quickly discovered the benefits of having EMTs, paramedics and firefighters among them.
“I don’t need to see Eli. It’s just a little bump on the head and I feel fine,” he said.
Her forehead crinkled slightly but she didn’t argue as she bustled over to the table and began emptying the contents of the basket she’d brought. Watching her, he couldn’t help thinking she had a way of taking over his home every time she arrived. And yet, he didn’t mind. Not really. Because she seemed to bring lots of comfort and order with her. But he was surprised when she removed a casserole dish, a loaf of homemade bread and a cherry pie from her basket.
His mouth watered at the sight of so much good food. His hunger alone told him that his head was okay. “What are those for?”
She didn’t look up as she slid the casserole into the gas-powered oven and turned it on. It looked like some kind of pasta, cheese and hamburger mixture that smelled delicious. Simple but filling food that made his stomach rumble. Sam had homed in on the pie, climbing up on a chair so he could gaze longingly at the golden crust and plump red berries that had oozed out of the lattice top when it was baked.
“This is for your supper,” she said. “It was easy to keep the food chilled until we got here and I figured you were busy and might appreciate a night off from cooking.”
He laughed out loud. He couldn’t help himself. “Is this your polite way of letting me know I’m a lousy cook?”
She laughed too, the sound high and sweet, her eyes sparkling with pleasure. “Ach, I don’t mean to offend but you must admit that you really are a poor cook.”
He nodded without argument, still smiling at her sense of humor. “I’m willing to concede your point and will admit I have come to dread meal preparation. I think Sam dreads it too.”
Her smile stayed firmly in place as she removed several books from the bottom of the basket. “And these are for my tutoring session with Sam.”
She handed the boy one book, which he took readily. A feeling of deep and abiding gratitude for her thoughtfulness rested over Jesse like a warm blanket. And that’s when he realized something important. He had laughed just a few moments ago. A loud, full-bodied laugh that came from deep inside. It was the first since Alice and his little girls had died. And that made Jesse pause in startled wonder. He felt suddenly unfaithful to their memory. Disloyal for feeling happy when they were gone.
He stood abruptly and tossed the dishrag onto the cupboard. “This is fine now. I’ve got chores to do.”
Placing his black felt hat on his head, he closed the door firmly behind him and hurried to the barn. After tossing hay to the animals, he fed the chickens and milked the cow. The work gave him time to gather his thoughts. To remember who he was and what he was doing here.
Becca was efficient, bossy and wonderful but she wasn’t Alice. And he was not going to let her take over his life or his thoughts. In his heart, he was still a married man who was faithful to his wife. And he wouldn’t allow himself to be taken in by Becca’s competent ways.
Thirty minutes later, he returned to the kitchen, carrying a bucket of frothy white milk. As he set it on the table, he could hear Becca in the living room, reading to Sam. He stepped over to the doorway and peeked into the room without revealing his presence. They both sat huddled together in the new rocking chair he had finished making last night. Little by little, he was getting things done but he was impatient to paint the ugly, scarred walls inside his home. However, that would have to wait. There were more pressing issues he needed to tend to right now or they wouldn’t have a livelihood. Issues such as getting the corrals and sheds repaired so he could buy livestock for their farm.
He listened silently as Becca read Sam a story about a cat named Elmo and a dog named Patches. The feline played a lot of tricks on the dog and got away with all sorts of antics. Finally, Becca finished the story with a laugh.
“I really like Elmo. He’s so funny. He’s always sneaking up on Patches,” she said.
Sam nodded in agreement.
“But who do you like the best? Elmo or Patches?” Becca asked.
A slight movement from Sam told Jesse that his son had pointed at his preference.
“Ach, pointing at the picture will never do. Can you say his name out loud for me?” Becca asked, her voice calm and inviting.
There was a long, quiet pause. Becca didn’t intrude. She gave Sam plenty of time to think. And then, the softest whisper wafted across the room. So quiet that Jesse almost didn’t hear.
“Patches.”
Jesse blinked. Had he heard right? Had Sam actually said the dog’s name out loud?
“That’s very gut,” Becca said. “But why do you like Patches the best?”
Every nerve in Jesse’s body went on high alert. He leaned forward slightly, eager to hear his son’s response. Would Sam speak again? Could he do it?
“Dog,” Sam whispered low.
Okay, not a complete sentence, but Jesse understood only too well. Before Alice had died, Sam had asked him numerous times if they could get a dog. They already had several barn cats who kept the mice population down but Sam wanted a puppy of his very own. Jesse hadn’t gotten around to getting the boy one before tragedy had struck and then they’d moved here to Colorado. Maybe it was time...
“Very gut,” Becca said, closing the book with a slight snap. “You’re doing so well, Sam. I’m very pleased with you.”
She leaned her head down and kissed the boy’s forehead. When they stood, Jesse pulled back into the kitchen with a quick jerk. He didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping, yet he felt mesmerized by the two of them. He could listen to them all day.
Hurrying over to the kitchen sink, he noticed that all the dishes had been washed and put away. He stared at the clean countertops, stunned down to the tips of his worn work boots.
“We’re all done for this evening.” Becca spoke from behind and he turned.
She stood in the doorway, holding Sam’s hand. The boy smiled shyly but didn’t speak.
“How did he do tonight?” Jesse asked, clearing his throat.
“Wundervoll. He even spoke twice,” she said.
“Ja, I heard. That’s great news.”
Jesse smiled at his son, trying not to overreact so much that it startled Sam and shut him down. Jesse had enough common sense not to push the boy until he was ready. But it was an amazing, wonderful start. And he had Becca to thank for all of it.