Seven

RUTH PARKED IN AN EMPTY spot in the parking lot of the Wilson Hotel central offices and stared down at the plastic bag of take-out food in the seat next to her. When Carter had called to cancel their lunch an hour ago, he’d sounded so tired and emotionally stretched that she’d immediately decided to bring the meal to him.

But now she was having second thoughts.

He’d said he’d just grab a snack later on, but maybe he’d already come up with better lunch plans. Maybe he wouldn’t like the salad and bread she’d picked out for him. Maybe he would think it was strange and presumptuous that she would do something like that.

It had been less than a week since they’d started having sex. Maybe he’d think she was already getting too clingy.

She blew out her self-doubts in a series of slow, deep breaths. If he didn’t want the lunch she’d brought him, then he could throw it out or give it away. She had no intentions of sticking around and chatting with him. He was swamped today, after all.

And he’d sounded so exhausted on the phone. She hated the thought of him working in his office, hungry and stressed and alone. So she grabbed her purse and the bag and locked the car doors as she headed for the front entrance.

The place was entirely different during the daytime. It was bustling with activity, everyone rushing through the halls in their business attire with apparently urgent tasks to accomplish. She knew where Carter’s office was, so she headed to the top floor.

Ridiculously, she was slightly nervous as she entered the executive suite. It was quieter than the rest of the building, everyone safely stowed away in their offices except for a polished, middle-aged woman sitting behind a desk in the main room.

“Can I help you?” the woman asked. In a nice way, not an intimidating way.

Relieved, Ruth went over to her with a smile. “Hi there. I’m Ruth Garrison. Carter’s fiancée.”

“Oh, Ms. Garrison!” The woman stood up with a pleased, welcoming look. “It’s so nice to see you. We’ve all been very excited around here about the engagement.”

“I’m pretty excited too, if you want to know the truth.” Ruth set the bag of food she’d brought on the desk. “I know Carter is busy today, so I’m not here to bug him. But would you mind taking this in to him? I’m afraid he’s going to skip lunch entirely.”

“He skips lunch all the time.” The woman shook her head and tsked her tongue. “I’m always reminding him, but the poor thing works so hard. You’re welcome to bring it in to him. He’s just working by himself in his office right now. He could probably use a break.”

“No, no.” Ruth took her hand from the bag, feeling like her charitable mission had been a good decision and was now accomplished. “I don’t want to interrupt him. If you don’t mind taking it in, I’d appreciate it.”

“I definitely will. Thank you. And it was lovely to meet you!”

Ruth waved cheerfully as she left the suite. She’d met with a client this morning, so she was dressed up in a pretty green-and-brown wrap dress and heels. It was a shame Carter hadn’t gotten to see her in her nice outfit.

She’d pressed the Down button and was waiting for the elevator when a voice down the hall called out, “Ruth. Ruth!”

She turned and saw Carter jogging toward her in a dark gray suit.

The elevator opened just then, but she didn’t get on. She turned and went to meet him.

He was breathless when he reached her. He’d obviously run to catch up with her. “Hey,” he said rather raspily.

A smile bubbled up inside her. “Hey.”

“Why didn’t you say hello? You didn’t have to drop the food and run.”

“I didn’t want to bother you. I just wanted to make sure you got some lunch.” She was ridiculously embarrassed. And also kind of pleased with herself. It was the strangest combination of feelings.

“You wouldn’t have bothered me. I was just in there working.”

“I know. That’s what the nice woman I talked to said.”

“Well, she was telling you the truth.” He looked down at the floor and then slanted her the most adorable upward glance. “Thanks for bringing me lunch.”

“You’re welcome.” She could feel her cheeks getting very pink.

“Do you want to come sit with me for a few minutes while I eat?” He looked back toward the executive suite.

“You have time? I know you said you were swamped today.”

“I am. But the truth is I could probably use a break.”

“Okay. But I’ll just stay fifteen minutes or so. I really don’t want to get in the way of your work.”

“You’re not getting in the way.”

They walked together down the hall, and Ruth waved at the woman she’d talked to earlier, who was giving them a maternal smile.

When they got into his office, Carter closed the door and waved her toward the leather sofa while he got a couple of bottles of fancy water out of the little refrigerator.

“Oh, this looks good,” he said when he took the salad out of the bag. “Are you trying to get me to eat healthier?”

“Not really. I just thought it might be tasty.” She paused. “You’re not a bad eater, are you?”

“Eh.” He was adding the salad dressing and unwrapping the utensils. “When I’m busy, I eat too many burgers and fries.”

“I didn’t know that. You look like you’re in such good shape. I guess it’s a good thing I brought the salad then.”

Carter offered her one of the pieces of the bread, and she accepted it. Not because she was hungry but because it was good. “How did your meeting this morning go with the Harrises?”

“Good. Really good. They seemed to like my ideas a lot. Thanks for recommending me to them.”

“You’re welcome.” He was digging into his salad now. It looked like he was enjoying it, which made Ruth irrationally happy.

While he ate, she told him about the meeting with her clients and about her plans for the new addition to their house. She normally wouldn’t have gone on quite so long since she always assumed most people weren’t interested in the ins and outs of her work. But Carter appeared to be genuinely listening. He asked intelligent questions and seemed to respect her opinions.

It was a heady feeling. She wasn’t used to it.

After about ten minutes, he’d finished the salad and together they’d eaten the bread. Since the conversation had faded into pleasant silence, he leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes.

She reached over to stroke his face. It was probably too intimate a gesture for their relationship, but she really couldn’t help it. “What time did you get in this morning?”

“I don’t know. Around five.”

“That’s ridiculous, Carter. You can’t keep working such long hours without taking breaks. It’s not good for you. It wouldn’t be good for anyone.” She wanted to keep petting him, but she made herself drop her hand.

“I know.” He still had his eyes closed. “But there’s just so much to do. I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about it.”

She didn’t reply immediately. Unable to stop herself, she reached over to caress his cheek again. This time he leaned his face into her palm.

Her belly twisted with tenderness. And also nerves. She cleared her throat and pulled her hand back again.

Carter opened his eyes. “I know this is what I wanted. I wanted this position. I wanted control of the company. I did things I really shouldn’t have done to get it. But now... I don’t know. Most people don’t have this much responsibility until much later in their careers. I think there’s probably a good reason for that.”

“If you need more help, then you should get it. Can’t you hire people to take some of the workload off you?”

“I’m working on it. I thought I wanted this, but the truth is... Lately I’ve been wanting more in my life than this.”

She wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but she liked the sound of it. “Anyone would, Carter. It’s your family company. It makes sense that a Wilson would be in charge. But that doesn’t mean you have to do everything. You’ve turned things around this year, haven’t you? I mean, I’d heard things weren’t going well before, but now they’re better?”

“Yeah. They’re a lot better now. I think I’ve done all right so far. Although...”

When he trailed off, Ruth asked softly, “What did you do that you shouldn’t have done to take control of the company?”

She probably shouldn’t have asked. A more tactful person wouldn’t have. The question lingered in the air for a long time, and Ruth wasn’t sure Carter would answer it.

He finally said, “When my dad was dying, I had this plan. I needed a big influx of money to make the merger earlier this year work, and Summer could give me that investment. But the only way she could have access to the funds was to... was to...”

“Oh my God,” Ruth breathed, putting pieces together in her head. “To marry Lincoln.”

Carter wasn’t meeting her eyes. “Well, she was supposed to marry me. We had it all arranged. It was just going to be a friendly, convenient thing, and everything seemed to be falling into place. I keep thinking about what Summer said to you that evening we had dinner at their place. That I always take the road laid out for me even if it’s not the road I want. That’s exactly what I was doing then. I seemed to be on the road laid out for me. The company was on that road. And Summer was on that road. So I just... took it. Then Dad died and left the company to Lincoln instead of me, so...”

“So she married him instead.”

“She didn’t want to. He didn’t want to. He was already into her. I knew that much although he’d never admitted it. But he knew she couldn’t stand him, and he didn’t want to put her in that position. But I did. I did. She was my best friend in the world, and I...” He swallowed so hard she could see it in his throat. “I’m supposed to be a good guy, but I’m really not.”

Ruth reached over to put a hand on his thigh. “Carter, stop beating yourself up. You made a mistake. You were sad and hurt and desperate, and you made a mistake. She’s forgiven you. Obviously she has. And so has Lincoln. You can’t keep feeling guilty about all that, Carter.”

“Why not? I should feel guilty. I was wrong.”

“Maybe. But you’ve made up for it now. You’re doing the right thing now. You’re in their life now and you’re loving them now, and the last thing in the world they’d want is for you to be miserable because you made a few mistakes just like all the rest of us.”

“Yeah,” Carter said, the word no more than a hoarse exhale.

Ruth moved her hand so she could knead the back of his neck. He responded to the touch deliciously. He exhaled again and closed his eyes. She kept up the massage, loving how viscerally his body softened in response.

When she started to get tingles in spots that were quite inappropriate, she lowered her hand. “They want you to be happy, Carter.”

“I know they do.” He straightened up on the couch. “And to tell you the truth, I’d kind of like to be happy too. I’ve been really enjoying it for the past several weeks.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t think I’m used to it.”

“Me either.”

They smiled at each other. When the fond feelings started to overwhelm her, Ruth knew she needed to distract herself. She reached over to gather up some of the trash and put it in the take-out bag.

“Thanks so much for bringing lunch,” Carter said, obviously understanding that the interlude was over. “I needed it. And the break. And the talk.”

“You’re welcome.” When they both stood facing each other, she couldn’t resist the urge to pull him into a hug. “Don’t work too late today.”

“I won’t. And you’re coming over tomorrow, right?” His eyes glinted, as if remembering that tomorrow was Friday, and Friday meant Ruth would stay over at the Wilsons’.

Which meant they’d get to have sex again.

“Yep. I wouldn’t miss it.” Her cheeks were reddening again, so she made a quick escape.

As she was leaving the building, she decided that overall her spontaneous lunch mission had been a great success.

***

RUTH WOKE UP A WEEK later and was momentarily disoriented. She blinked in the dark room until she realized she was in the bedroom next to Carter’s in the Wilson house. She’d stayed over last night, just like she had the previous weekend. While obviously Ruth wasn’t about to move into the Wilson house from now until Christmas, Mrs. Wilson was so insistent about her staying on the weekends that she didn’t have the heart to refuse.

She didn’t really want to refuse since staying over meant having a lot of sex with Carter on the weekends. Who would complain about that?

A quick check of the time told her it wasn’t even seven. Way too early to get up on a Saturday morning. Carter had come to bed with her yesterday evening. They’d had two very satisfying rounds of sex during the night, and Carter must have worn himself out. He was still sound asleep beside her, the covers pushed down toward his waist and one arm bent above his head. He was breathing heavily. Not quite snoring.

She smiled at the sight of him, but before she got too soft and sappy, she carefully rolled out of bed and hurried into the bathroom to pee, wash her hands and face, and brush her teeth. Then she returned to the bed, stretching out beneath the covers and preparing to snooze for a while.

She’d thought she’d managed to accomplish all that without waking Carter up, but as she closed her eyes, she heard his low, dry voice. “I smell toothpaste.”

Her laughter spilled over, and she rolled on her side to face him. “That’s because I brushed my teeth.”

“Kind of rude to leave me as the only one with bad breath.”

“Well, you were asleep. I’d hardly expect you to have minty-fresh breath when you were sleeping.”

He opened his eyes and turned his face toward her. He desperately needed to shave. “Very reasonable of you.”

“I’m a very reasonable person, you know.”

His eyes were warm, although his mouth wasn’t smiling. “Are you?”

“Yes. You should know that by now.”

“I do know that.” He groaned and stretched, distracting her momentarily with the way the beautifully defined muscles of his arms rippled. “Damn. Last night was a workout.”

“It was.” She blushed a bit as she remembered their carnal activities during the night. She’d been eager and uninhibited and really quite shameless, urging him on and bouncing on top of him and begging him to take her harder. She wasn’t normally quite so unrestrained in bed, so she wasn’t sure where it had come from.

“So if the tooth brushing was in the hopes of a repeat performance this morning, I’m afraid I might have to disappoint you.” He gave her a wry twist of a smile. “I’m honestly not sure if I can get it up right now.”

She giggled helplessly. “Just as well, because I’m pretty sore. Your dick is going to have to keep its distance for the time being.”

He laughed at that and rolled out of bed, wincing as he straightened up. “Damn. I feel like an old man. What the hell?”

“You’re limping like an old man,” she told him as he made his way to the bathroom.

His wordless grumble of response didn’t disappoint her.

When he came out of the bathroom, she thought he might return to his own room since morning sex wasn’t an option, but he didn’t. He climbed back under the covers with her and did another long, leisurely stretch.

“Maybe you just need more practice with sex,” she told him. “If two rounds is too much for you.”

“Practice?” He gave her his narrow-eyed look. “Should I repeat some of what you were screaming out last night? That might give us a sense of whether I need more practice or not.”

She scowled. “I wasn’t screaming. I’m not a screamer.”

“No, you’re not,” he admitted, reaching over to stroke her hair back from her face. “But you were pretty damn vocal last night. You seemed to like what I was doing to you a lot.”

“I did. So thank you for your efforts, even if they left you a broken man this morning.”

He couldn’t hold on to his feigned indignation. He laughed openly, still playing with her hair. After a minute, he said in a different tone. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” Her heartbeat had accelerated, although she had no idea what he was about to ask.

He wasn’t quite meeting her eyes, so he appeared to be self-conscious about the question. “Why won’t you let me go down on you?”

The words weren’t anything she might have expected. She stared at him for several tense seconds, trying to process what he was asking and how she was supposed to respond. “I... I never said you couldn’t.”

“I know. But every time I try, you shift gears and start doing something else. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but it happens every time. It can’t be a coincidence.” His eyes held her with that soft earnestness that was Carter at his kindest. “Is there some reason you don’t want me to?”

“No. No.” Her cheeks were burning, and she knew he could see it. She hated that she couldn’t control her reaction. “I mean, it’s just not something... I don’t normally...”

Carter was quiet for a minute, like he was thinking. “I’m not pressuring. I promise. I’d never do that. If it’s really something you don’t enjoy or find unsexy or it brings up bad memories or something, then I’ll never mention it again. But if you’re just nervous...” His big hand cupped her cheek. “Ruth, you can trust me.”

She gulped. “I know I can, Carter. Thank you. I don’t know why I... It just makes me feel vulnerable for some reason, and I don’t do vulnerable well.”

He nodded, making it clear that he’d already sensed that was the reason for her reluctance.

She wished she’d been better at hiding it from him. Trying to shift the tone of the conversation, she said in a teasing voice, “But I’m more than happy to go down on you if you’re interested in that kind of thing.”

His body jerked very slightly. She only saw it because she was watching for it. But his voice was disapproving when he said, “I didn’t bring this up as a sneaky way of getting a blow job from you.”

“I know that. I know you’d never do that. I’m just saying it’s on the table for me. Going down on other people.” She pulled back the covers, baring his mostly naked body. He was wearing nothing but gray boxer briefs.

“Didn’t I just tell you that I’m worn out and not sure I could get it up?”

“You did tell me that.” She gave a taunting smile and leaned over to kiss his belly, letting her lips trail down slowly.

She checked his groin and was thrilled to see that he was starting to harden. She met his wry gaze across the length of his upper body.

“You think that proves something?” he asked, a little breathless.

“Well, it proves that you can in fact get it up this morning.” She straightened up, checking his expression again. In a more serious tone, she added, “If you don’t want to, that’s totally fine. Just say the word, and I’ll stop teasing you. But if you’re interested, I’m definitely up for that.”

He lifted his head from the pillow to scan her face. “Are you sure? This isn’t just a way to deflect from a conversation that makes you uncomfortable, is it? Because I wouldn’t want it like that.”

He could read her far too well. She searched her feelings to make sure she wasn’t doing exactly what he was afraid of, finally concluding that she wasn’t. She was already getting excited about the idea of pleasing Carter this way. “It’s not that,” she told him truthfully. “I really do enjoy it. And I kind of want to now, if you’re good with it.”

“The only way I’d say no is if I thought you didn’t really want it. If you do...”

“I do.”

He relaxed back onto the pillow. “Then let’s see what you’ve got.”

She did her best for him. She kissed his belly some more, teasing him by getting close but not close enough until he was fully erect in his underwear. Then she pulled them off and caressed him, checking his face to see what he liked the best. When she finally took him in her mouth, he was so tense he was shaking with it. He’d tangled his fingers in her hair and held on to a fistful of it. Not pulling. Just holding it back from her face.

When she started to bob her head, he groaned shamelessly and began to rock his hips.

Thrilled with his reaction, she kept sucking him off. She tried to use creative technique, but she got too excited about what she could sense in his body. How good she was making him feel. He was grunting now and clearly fighting to control his hips so he wouldn’t overwhelm her.

She appreciated the restraint. Carter was kind in this as he was in everything else.

When he was close, she squeezed his balls and sucked hard. He came with a loud, helpless bellow.

Fortunately, since he’d come more than once during the night, he didn’t release very much semen, so she didn’t have to deal with that. She gave him a few last sucks as he softened, then kissed her way back up his body.

He’d let go of all the tension in his body. He was fully relaxed, his eyes closed and his breath coming out in sated little moans.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so proud of herself. She’d made him look and sound like that.

He tried several times to speak before he could get coherent words out. “Thank you,” he finally rasped. “That was... Thank you so much.”

She kissed his neck and cuddled close to him when he wrapped an arm around her. “You’re welcome. I liked it too.”

“I more than liked it. I’d say my mind is totally blown.”

“Your mind?”

He chuckled tiredly and nuzzled her hair. “Among other things.”

Both their bodies shook with soft amusement as he hugged her to him more tightly. But she could feel him softening again beside her. His breathing was slowing down.

“Are you going to go to sleep now?” she asked.

“Maybe. Do you mind? Do you want me to do you? I don’t have to go down on you. I could do something else to take care of you.”

“No, I’m good. I don’t really feel like doing anything else. I’m pretty happy.”

“Are you?” He sounded like he was on the verge of drifting off. “Are you happy?”

“Yes,” she whispered, telling him nothing but the truth. “I am.”

He gave her a sleepy kiss on the temple. “Good. Me too.”

He was sound asleep in less than a minute.

She loved it so much. That she’d been able to take care of him in that intimate way. That she’d given him that kind of release. That now he was so content and replete that he fell right back to sleep.

The emotion filling her chest wasn’t sexual pleasure. It wasn’t even pride at doing a good job and giving him a good time.

It was something deeper. Softer.

Tenderness.

Like Carter was hers to take care of.

She knew he wasn’t. She knew he was just her fake fiancé until Christmas was over. But right now it didn’t feel that way.

It felt like he was hers for real.

***

THAT EVENING, THEY went to a big Christmas party at the house of a couple who were friends of Carter.

It was a huge event with almost a hundred people in attendance. The house was another of the mansions on the lake, so there was plenty of room for all the guests in the expansive living room and big patio by the pool. The food was delicious, and the mood was festive. Ruth actually had a good time meeting people and looking at the decorations and singing Christmas songs with a group that gathered near the piano at the end of the evening.

She was squeezed next to Carter in a big chair. He was smiling and easygoing, obviously having a good time too. After several songs, the piano player, a woman in her thirties who could play skillfully by ear, started vamping “All I Want For Christmas Is You.”

Soon dozens of people were urging Carter to get up and sing it, but he resisted. He was laughing but kept saying no, until he finally declared, “I only sing that song for Ruth.”

Something about the way he said it made Ruth’s heart gallop, although she knew he must simply be playing a part.

That excuse was evidently enough to convince his friends, but they just switched gears, urging him to sing a different song. Finally he relented and got up to sing “Let It Snow.” He didn’t go all out the way he did when he was singing with Ruth, and he didn’t do any dancing. But he did a really good job with the song, and everyone ended up clapping and singing along.

Ruth was proud of him. He was smiling and sheepish as he came back to join her in the chair. He kissed her, and it wasn’t just a light peck on the mouth. It was a real kiss, and she couldn’t help but respond to it.

When they pulled apart, they had an audience. Ruth blushed hot red, although it was obvious no one thought anything unusual about them kissing that way.

After all, they were supposed to be engaged.

The party finally wound down just before midnight. When she and Carter got into his car to go home, she said, “That was pretty fun.”

“Seriously?” He gave her a sidelong look.

“Yes.” She blinked in confusion, putting a gift bag she’d received at parting on her lap. “Didn’t you think so?”

“Yeah. Of course I did. I’m just making sure you had a good time too.”

“I did. I don’t like everyone there. Some of those people are pretty snotty. But I like a lot of them. It was good to see Lincoln and Summer.”

“Yeah. It was. I had a good time.”

Satisfied that he meant it, Ruth dug into the gift bag, oohing and aahing about all the goodies she pulled out. Everyone at the party got a bag, and it was filled with gourmet candy, expensive samples, gift cards to local restaurants and shops, and a beautiful, tiny crystal Christmas tree.

“It must have cost of fortune to put these bags together! Look at this. Two kinds of shower gel. A girly one and a manly one. I know for a fact that these cost a lot since they come from that shop downtown. How much money did the Crofts spend on these bags?”

“Probably not as much as you think. They bought those little Christmas trees, so it was an investment. But a lot of the other stuff was probably given to them by the local businesses.”

“What? Why?”

“Because it helps the businesses too, to get a lot of people liking their stuff. People who will go on to spend a lot of money.”

Ruth shook her head as she peered down into the bag. “Rich people really do live in a different world, don’t they?”

Carter was quiet for a minute. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“That wasn’t an insult,” she said, glancing up at him quickly. “I’m just saying. In my world, stores don’t give you free bottles of shower gel for a hundred guests. And gift cards! This is something else. It’s like living in a different world.”

He was driving now, but he shot her a searching look. “I guess it is kind of shallow and entitled. So you don’t like it?”

“The world? I don’t know. I mean, I like you. And your mom. And I like Lincoln and Summer. And Lance and Savannah. And a few of the others I met. But people are different if they get everything handed to them like that. It’s just a different world.”

Carter nodded. He didn’t respond with words, but he seemed to be thinking.

The conversation made Ruth think of something she’d been meaning to ask. “Why is Lincoln still working as a bartender?”

“What?” Carter obviously wasn’t following the shift in topic.

“Lincoln. He’s still working as a bartender. I know he started doing that when he was young because your dad cut him off or whatever. But he’s married to Summer now, and she’s got a fortune, doesn’t she? So Lincoln must not need the money from his job, but he’s still working as a bartender. Does he really like it that much?”

“I don’t know. I think he does enjoy it in his way. But I think it’s more that he doesn’t want to sit around and live off his wife’s money. You can understand that, can’t you?”

“Yes. I definitely can. So he’s going to keep doing it? He doesn’t want to be involved in the family business or anything?”

“He does. At least to a certain extent. He’s been helping me out with some stuff in the past year. Strategic planning. And he’s really good with people. He’s such a good schmoozer. Better than me.”

“I bet you’re a pretty good schmoozer too.” She reached over to give his sleeve a tug.

He smiled. “I’m okay. But he’s better. And he does feel a connection to the business. It’s his family too. But he doesn’t have any training in business. He’s trying to finish college now. He’s got another year or so to go. I think he’ll probably keep the bartending job until then. After that, he might want a job with Wilson Hotels.”

“And you’ll give him one?”

“Of course I will. We’ve had our problems. A lot of problems. Both of us have messed up pretty bad in the past. But we’re doing well now. He was really good after my father died. He could have cut me out of the business entirely. He could have been ruthless. Legally, he could have done it since Dad left the whole thing to him. But he didn’t. If he wants to come on board, there will definitely be a place for him. Like I said, he’s better with people than I am. And he wouldn’t want to deal with all the tedious stuff that I’m good at, so I think we could work it out without too much conflict.”

“That’s good.” She adjusted her position, putting the gift bag onto the floor of the car. “I’m glad you guys are getting along now. It must have been hard to be on the outs with your family. I’ve never had a sibling like that. I have Kayla of course, but that’s different. It would be a shame if you couldn’t be close to him.”

“It was. For a lot of years, we weren’t close at all, and I hated it.” Carter gave her a twisted smile. “It was like there was a hole in my heart. For a while it felt like I had nothing but holes. In some ways, I lost Summer earlier this year when she got together with Lincoln. I didn’t lose her completely, but she’d been my best friend my whole life, and she... she isn’t anymore. That was a hole too.”

The ache in her chest compelled Ruth to reach over and put a comforting hand on his thigh.

He didn’t pull away from it. Continued, “But I have Lincoln now. I still have Summer in a different way, and I also have Lincoln. I think I ended up better off in the end.”

The spark of hope that ignited at his words was like nothing Ruth had ever experienced before. “Really? You mean it?”

“Yeah.” He’d stopped at a traffic light, and he turned his head to meet and hold her gaze. “I do. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m happier now than I was before everything happened. I was trying to go down that road set out for me, and I kind of broke when I couldn’t do it, but I realize now it wasn’t the road I wanted. I did lose something, but I gained a lot more. I’m better off right now than I was last Christmas.”

She gave him a wobbly smile, unable to get any words out. And it didn’t matter. It felt like they’d said enough.

They drove the rest of the way back to the house in silence.

***

A WEEK LATER, RUTH was showing Kayla pictures on her phone of the two projects she’d recently completed. One was a master bedroom and bathroom, and the other was a connected living room and dining room. Kayla oohed and aahed over the photos, and Ruth had to admit they looked pretty good.

She’d done a good job designing those rooms. She was proud of them.

“They’re both gorgeous,” Kayla said, when she’d looked at every picture at least three times. “I can’t believe you can make rooms so beautiful. Were the people happy with them?”

“Yes. I think so. They both gave me huge tips, which I hadn’t expected. And they gave me a lot of compliments and said they’d recommend me to their friends. So I think they were really happy with them. People like that tend to let you know if they aren’t, so I think I’d have heard about it if they didn’t get what they wanted.”

“Probably so. What does Carter think about the rooms?”

Ruth blinked a couple of times, taken aback by the question. “I don’t know. He said he liked them.”

“Did he ask to see the pictures?”

“No, actually he went to the houses and looked at the rooms with me a few days ago. He knows my clients. I mean, he grew up with these people. So it wasn’t a big deal for him to go look.” For no good reason, she was a little embarrassed telling Kayla that information.

The girl giggled. “So he made a point of going to see them?”

“No. I mean, I don’t think he made a point about it. He just went—” Ruth made a face at her stepsister. “What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing.” Kayla couldn’t seem to stop laughing. “I think it’s cute that he’s so excited about your work.”

“He’s not excited about it! He just went to see it.” There was no good excuse for her getting riled up about this, so she made herself calm down. “It’s not a big deal.”

The truth was it had felt perfectly natural when Carter suggested it. She hadn’t thought a thing about taking him to see what she’d done in the houses of her most recent clients. And she’d genuinely appreciated that he’d asked a lot of intelligent questions about her choices and really looked at things before he’d told her that he thought the designs were great.

But Kayla was right. It was really nice of him.

“He’s just like that,” Ruth added, explaining it to herself as much as Kayla. “He’s always super nice that way. With everyone.”

“So he’s not extra nice to you.”

“Why would he be?”

“I don’t know. Just that he seems to like you a lot. And you like him.”

Carter had a business dinner scheduled that evening, so she hadn’t been able to hang out with him that night as she normally would have done on a Saturday. Instead, she’d taken advantage of the free time to have a girls’ night with Kayla at her apartment. They’d watched two fluffy Christmas movies, eaten pancakes, bacon, and cupcakes, and had a very good time.

It was getting late, so Ruth would need to take Kayla back home soon, but there wasn’t any big hurry.

“Of course I like him,” Ruth said. “We’re friends now.”

“Is that all? Because it kind of seems like you like him, like him.”

Ruth was flushing. “I don’t.”

“You really don’t? Why not? He’s so nice. And he seems to really listen and care about people. Even me. And he’s seriously the best-looking guy I’ve ever seen. Don’t you think you might want him as more than a friend?” Kayla’s blue eyes were wide and innocent. She wasn’t just teasing now. She was asking for real.

Ruth held back her initial retort, which would have been a vehement (and false) denial. She tried to always tell the truth to Kayla when she could. So she took her time, thought it through, and finally said, “I don’t know. I think I could, to tell you the truth. Like him, like him.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“He doesn’t like me that way. So if I let myself get too... hopeful, I’m going to get crushed.”

“Are you sure he doesn’t like you? ’Cause it sure looks like he likes you to me.”

“Well, we’re pretending to be engaged. Of course he’s going to act like we’re in love.”

“But why would he have to act when it’s just the three of us? Even then, it seems like he’s really into you.”

“I don’t know what to say, Kayla. I really don’t. I sometimes think that too.” Ruth’s chest hurt as she processed the realization. And what it meant about how she’d failed to guard her feelings the way she’d tried so hard to do. “Sometimes I feel like, hey, maybe this isn’t all fake. Maybe there’s something there.”

She didn’t say so to Kayla, but she’d been thinking that more often in the past week, ever since Carter had implied that he was truly over Summer. If he wasn’t still hung up on her, then maybe there was the chance for him to fall for someone else.

Maybe even her.

He certainly enjoyed having sex with her. That much couldn’t be denied.

But sex was sex. It wasn’t love. And men did it all the time without it meaning anything. She knew from long experience that assuming good sex meant love would only lead a girl to another broken heart.

“So maybe there is,” Kayla said softly, responding to Ruth’s last comment. “Maybe there’s more there than you thought.”

“I don’t think so. He’s never said anything except that he wants to have fun with me until after Christmas. I think...” She swallowed hard over a little lump of regret. “If guys are interested, they make sure you know.”

“Always?”

“In my experience. And Carter is so honest and straightforward and careful about other people’s feelings. He wouldn’t— I don’t think he’d ever dream I was getting hopes I shouldn’t have. He’s never said a word about this thing between us being real. I really think...” The recognition was fully materializing now inside her. It felt right. She knew it was right. “I think those little hopes I’ve been having are the same thing I’ve always done with men. Deceiving myself into believing something that just isn’t true. I try to read signs and rationalize and give myself reasons to hope for guys to really fall for me. But they don’t. And I don’t want to... I like Carter too much to mess up our relationship by interpreting clues that aren’t there and putting pressure on him that would probably really upset him.”

Kayla was subdued now, matching Ruth’s own mood. “Are you sure? Maybe if you just say something, he’ll tell you he likes you too.”

It sounded like a dream to Ruth. Like a fantasy. A fairy tale she desperately wanted to be true. But long experience had taught her that it never turned out that way, and she wasn’t going to blow things with Carter.

She wanted to at least remain his friend. She wasn’t going to be the kind of needy, clingy girl she’d been in the past. The girl who had only ever embarrassed her.

She wasn’t going to do that with Carter.

“I think it’s better this way. If he wants to say something, he’ll say it. And if he doesn’t, then I’m just making things up. Things are still going well. This weird little thing with him has turned out well anyway.”

“You’ve seemed really happy,” Kayla murmured. “Happier than you’ve been in a long time.”

Ruth gave the girl a half hug. “I have been happy. I almost forgot what that felt like.”

***

THEY LEFT TWENTY MINUTES later so Ruth could drive Kayla back home. As they were saying goodbye, Ruth’s phone vibrated with a text. She waited until Kayla had gotten into her house before she picked up her phone to read the message.

It was Carter. Still with Kayla?

Just dropped her off. How’d the dinner go?

Good. You coming over?

Ruth hesitated before replying. Carter probably wanted to have sex. They didn’t spend nights together during the week, so the weekends were when they had sex. Her body was interested in that possibility too, but she took a minute to fully assess how she was feeling.

And now that she’d brought it out into the open, she could see it so easily. She did want to have sex with Carter tonight. But she also wanted a lot more. She wanted to be close to him. She wanted to hear about his business dinner and tell him about her time with Kayla. She wanted him to hold her as they fell asleep.

She wanted more. Too much. It might be natural—given how great Carter was and how lonely she’d been until the past couple of months—but it was also dangerous.

He was dangerous. To her heart.

She needed to start protecting herself a little better if she was going to get out of this fake relationship with her heart basically intact.

So she tapped out on her phone, I’m kinda tired. Might just head home and go to sleep.

You can sleep here. I’ll keep my hands off. Promise.

She gulped. Damn Carter. Always so sweet. Always making it so hard to resist him. Nah, that’s ok. I’m closer to my place.

There was a slightly longer pause before his next text came through. Everything okay?

Yep. All good. Just tired. Talk to you tomorrow.

Okay. Have a good night.

She was shaking as she put down her phone and put the car into reverse to pull out of the driveway. It had just been a normal, simple conversation. There was no reason for her to be so upset about it.

She wasn’t sure what had gotten into her lately. She’d never been emotional like this. But something had definitely happened to her. She cried a little bit on her way home.