Chapter 2

Beth woke with a start and shivered violently. The water was cold; the bubbles were gone and she felt stiff and sore all over. She pulled herself upright and climbed out of the bath. Her teeth chattered as she pulled a towel around her and began to dry herself.

She jumped and almost fell over as someone pounded on the bathroom door. ‘Mam? You in there? Mam?’ The pounding began again.

Lenny! ‘Oh, no,’ she groaned beneath her breath. ‘Not now. Not yet.’ She needed time; time to gather her wits and decide just how to break the news to him. She tried to speak; cleared her throat and tried again. ‘Yes, I’m in here,’ she called. ‘No need to knock the door down, Lenny. I’ll be out in a minute.’

Beth pulled the plug and let the water drain away. Time enough to clean the bath later, she thought as she put on her dressing-gown. Not that she wanted to go out there and face Lenny, but she didn’t have much choice, did she?

Lenny stood there facing her as she opened the door, garbed as usual in faded jeans and jacket and heavy boots. He was a full six inches taller than his mother, thin, lean-faced, hair lank, shoulder-length, and he looked as if he needed a shave. Where, she wondered, was that fresh-faced child with the halo of golden hair who lived so vividly in her memory?

‘Hello, dear,’ she said, dabbing at her face with a towel to avoid looking at him directly. He said nothing as she moved to go around him, but she could feel his eyes boring into her. What was she going to say? What could she say? Her legs trembled beneath her. She walked unsteadily to the table and sat down.

‘Well, what are you waiting for? You going to ask her or not?’

Beth’s head snapped up. She hadn’t even seen the girl. Tania whatever her name was. She lounged against the wall, hands stuffed into the pockets of jeans that barely covered her hips. She wore a T-shirt, but she might as well have not bothered for all it covered. Beth looked with distaste at the expanse of pale young flesh. The girl stared back, eyes insolent, mocking. Beth looked away. Tania was nothing but trouble. Not the sort Lenny should be taking up with at all.

‘Well?’ Lenny demanded. ‘Did you do it? When can I get the money?’

Beth looked up at him and slowly shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, Lenny, but I can’t do it,’ she said quietly. Her lips trembled. ‘I was almost caught today by Mr Gresham. I – I’m not sure, but I think he suspects. I daren’t try again. It’s too dangerous. You’ll have to find another way. I’ve done all I can.’

‘You didn’t…’ Lenny stared in disbelief. ‘For Christ’s sake, Mam, what do you mean, you didn’t do it? I need the friggin’ money. I need it now! You know what will happen if I don’t get it. You have to get it. There is no other way.’

‘I can’t. I’m sorry, Lenny, but I just can’t.’

‘But – but you said you would,’ the boy said desperately. ‘You did it once and it was all right.’ His brow darkened. ‘You did something stupid, didn’t you? Christ! I should have known you’d blow it. Where do you think that leaves me?’

‘Up shit creek without a paddle,’ the girl broke in contemptuously. ‘I told you she’d screw it up, Lenny. I told you she was scared. She doesn’t really care about you at all.’

‘But I do!’ Beth said, reaching out to touch her son. ‘I’ve tried my best. I’ve always tried my best for you, Lenny.’

Angrily, he pulled away. ‘Your best?’ he sneered. ‘Christ! Look around you. Is this your best? You’re pushing bloody forty and this is all you’ve got to show for your life? Jesus Christ!’

Beth looked down at her hands. ‘Please don’t take His name in vain, Lenny,’ she said softly. ‘You know I don’t like…’

The boy rolled his eyes toward the heavens. ‘Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ!’ he said deliberately. ‘What do I have to say to get through to you?’ He grabbed a chair and sat down in front of his mother. ‘What happened?’ he demanded roughly.

Beth avoided his eyes. ‘I tried,’ she said. ‘I really did, but Mr Gresham came up behind me just as I was about to enter the loan, and I had to cancel.’ She was on the point of telling him about the promotion, but the shame of the price she’d paid stopped her. Besides, Lenny would only see it as another opportunity for her to continue supplying him with money. ‘I’m sorry, Lenny.’

‘Sorry?’ Lenny’s fist hit the table like a sledge-hammer. ‘You stupid cow!’ His voice rose to a scream. ‘I need that money. I need it now! Don’t you understand what they’ll do to me if I don’t get it?’

‘They’ll kick the shit out of him,’ said the girl dispassionately. ‘Then they’ll carve his face.’

‘Shut up, Tan. Just bloody shut up,’ Lenny snarled. He ran grubby fingers through his hair as he turned back to face his mother. ‘Look, Mam,’ he pleaded, ‘Tan’s right. I have to have that money. You have to try again tomorrow. It was probably just coincidence that the manager happened to be there today. He didn’t say anything, did he? He can’t have done or you’d have been sacked. So he can’t know, can he? You can do it, Mam. You did it before.’

Lenny’s voice dropped, coaxing, adopting the wheedling tone he’d used so successfully for years. Stupid cow. She never did catch on. All he had to do was coax her along. She’d come through. She always did in the end. He reached out and touched her hand. ‘You just had a bit of bad luck, today,’ he said soothingly. ‘Shook you up a bit, but it will be all right tomorrow. You’ll see. You do it right and we could be rolling in it.’

Tomorrow. The thought of walking into the bank tomorrow morning sickened her, and she knew she couldn’t do it. Beth raised her eyes and looked at Lenny, ready to plead with him – to beg if necessary – but the words died on her lips.

The face across the table bore no resemblance to the image of the little boy Beth had carried in her heart for so many years. It was the face of a man; a cruel and vicious man behind whose eyes lay nothing but contempt.

She had always been so afraid of losing him, she thought bitterly; of losing his love. Sadly, she realized now that she had never had his love, nor anything remotely like it, and certainly not his respect. How he must despise her; despise her weakness; despise her pitiful efforts to earn his affection. He’d used her. He’d always used her and always would. Beth’s mind flashed to the scene in Gresham’s office that afternoon, and she shuddered with revulsion at what she’d done for Lenny’s sake.

It was as if she’d been asleep and had suddenly come awake. The person sitting across from her was not her son. Her son was gone. He’d been gone for years. How could she have been so blind? How could he have turned out like this when she’d tried so hard?

He’s like his father! The thought chilled her to the bone and took her breath away. She tried to force it from her mind, but it refused to leave, clinging like some earth-bound spectre to her consciousness.

Guilt whispered in her ear: Perhaps it’s your fault. Perhaps this is your punishment. Perhaps … Angrily, Beth pushed the thought away. Guilt had crushed her in the past, but she wasn’t going to let it lay the blame on her again.

‘It’s finished, Lenny,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m finished. I can’t go on like this. You are going to have to stand on your own feet from now on. I can’t help you. You got yourself into this mess, and you’ll have to find your own way out.’

Her voice began to break, but now that she’d started, she willed herself to go on. She might never find the courage again. ‘I want you out of the house by the end of the week. I don’t care where you go, but you can’t stay here.’

He stared at her. ‘You don’t mean that, Mam,’ he said. ‘You’re just upset. You know what will happen if I don’t get that money, don’t you? And you wouldn’t let that happen to me, now would you, Mam?’ He reached for her hand but she drew it away.

‘I mean it, Lenny,’ she said firmly. She began to rise and turn away.

The room exploded and she was on the floor. For a moment she didn’t know what had happened or where she was. Her face was on fire and her eyes refused to focus. She struggled to sit up, but Lenny was there beside her, one knee across her stomach, a hand around her throat, choking her. His fist was raised to strike again. She struggled feebly, but she knew she was no match for him.

‘Now you listen to me,’ he hissed. ‘You’re going back to that sodding bank tomorrow and you’re going to put that sodding loan through. Do you understand? I’m not asking you this time, Mam. I’m bloody telling you.’ He bent over her until his face almost touched her own. ‘And if you don’t, I’ll do you like I did that bloke in Buckland Road.’

Beth felt as if her heart had stopped. She’d lied for Lenny under oath. Lied before God, refusing to believe that her son was capable of the crime of which he was accused. He’d sworn that he was innocent, and she’d believed him. She felt the rush of blood to her face as a small voice mocked her from within. But you knew, it whispered. Deep in your heart, you knew!

He seemed to guess what was going through her mind. ‘That’s right,’ he said, smirking. ‘The coppers had it right all along, didn’t they? But you did so well on the stand that the old fart of a magistrate bought it, didn’t he?’ Beth flinched as he put out his hand and patted her cheek. ‘And you’ll get that money for me tomorrow, won’t you, Mam?’ he went on softly. ‘Right? No more screw-ups. Got it, Mam?’

Suddenly he was on his feet. ‘Come on, Tan,’ he said to the girl. ‘Let’s get out of here. This place stinks.’ He made for the door and went out. The girl followed more slowly. She paused beside Beth and stood looking down at her. ‘You’d better do as he says,’ she told Beth softly, ‘because you don’t know the half of it. He’s a rough bastard, your son, and he’d slice you as soon as look at you. You got off lucky this time.’

*   *   *

Beth sat at the table. She couldn’t stop shaking. She touched her face, probing gently. It felt as if it were on fire, and there was a smear of blood on her fingers. She should put a cold cloth on it, but that could wait.

First, she had to make things right. The thought kept running through her head like an endless tape. Lenny had to be stopped. God knows why it had taken her so long to admit that he was using her; had used her ever since he was a child. But it was over now. Finished.

He was violent. She had seen the look in his eyes after he hit her, and she knew he could have killed her. It was only because he thought he needed her that he’d held himself in check.

She’d been terrified there on the floor, but she was determined not to be intimidated by her son’s threats. Rather they strengthened her resolve. She would go to the police. She had to make things right. Beth trembled at the thought, but it had to be done. And it had to be done now.

But who…?

Nancy! The name popped into her mind seemingly from nowhere. That was the name of the young policewoman who had been so kind at the trial. The one who had brought her a cup of tea while she waited, terrified of what might come. Nancy had been there all three days, and she’d been very kind. Beth had been so upset that Nancy had written down her home telephone number and told Beth to ring if she had any more questions. She wasn’t supposed to, she said, but she understood what Beth was going through. She had two boys herself.

Beth rose slowly to her feet. Where had she put that number? She rummaged through the drawer beneath the telephone. It was on the back of a card … Ah! there it was. Nancy King. That was it.

Beth closed her eyes and breathed deeply, then dialled the number.

‘Yes?’ The answer was curt. A man.

‘Could I speak to Nancy, please?’ She could hear sirens in the background. He was probably watching TV.

‘Hang on a minute.’

Beth gripped the phone. Please! Please hurry, Nancy, before I lose my nerve.

‘Hello?’

Her hands were ice cold. ‘Hello, Nancy,’ she said hesitantly. ‘You probably don’t remember me, but my name is Beth Smallwood. You helped me when Lenny was in court, and you told me that…’

‘Beth? Of course I remember you. How are you?’

Beth felt tired. Almost too tired to go on, but the throbbing pain reminded her of what she must do. ‘I need your help,’ she said simply. ‘I lied in court and I have to tell someone.’

*   *   *

Beth lowered herself into a chair. She was exhausted. Tomorrow, Nancy had said. ‘Nine o’clock. You know where we are in Charter Lane? Right. I’ll be in the office. Ask for me and I’ll take you to someone who will take your statement.’

She’d done it! A tear slid down Beth’s cheek as she thought what it might mean. She could go to prison, but that didn’t seem to matter now. Nothing mattered any more. She had to make things right. She’d tell them everything. About Lenny; about the drugs; about embezzling the money.

She gasped as the silence of the room was shattered by the shrill ringing of the phone. Was there to be no end to the assault upon her senses? She clutched her head, covered her ears to shut out the sound, but it went on and on. She felt as if her head would burst.

Beth could stand the sound no longer. She rose and crossed the room to snatch the phone from its rest.

‘Hello!’ she answered angrily.

There was silence at the other end, and for a moment she thought the caller must have hung up. Then, ‘Is this Mrs Smallwood?’ a voice asked hesitantly.

‘Yes, it is,’ she snapped, and instantly regretted it. The side of her face pulsed with pain, her tongue was swollen and she felt as if her mouth were full of cotton wool.

‘I’m sorry if I’ve caught you at a bad time,’ the voice went on. ‘This is the Reverend Parslow, Mrs Smallwood. I wondered if…’

‘Oh! Oh, dear. I am sorry, Reverend.’ Beth stopped. She didn’t know what to say.

‘Are you all right, Mrs Smallwood? You sound, well, muffled.’

‘Sorry. I – I was eating something.’

‘Ah.’ Then in a puzzled voice: ‘You’re not having your tea, are you? It’s almost eight o’clock.’ Parslow spoke as if he thought no one should be eating at that time in the evening.

‘No. It’s just…’ Beth felt very tired and it was hard to talk with this great lump in her mouth. ‘What do you want?’ she asked wearily.

‘It’s about the wedding at St Justin’s,’ he said. ‘I’m afraid I made a mistake about the date. It’s tomorrow, Tuesday, not Friday, and wondered if you could see to things this evening? I realize it’s short notice, but since you live so close I didn’t think you’d mind.’

Beth leaned her head against the wall. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t do it. Not tonight. ‘I’m sorry, Vicar…’ she began, but he cut in before she could finish.

‘There’s not a lot needs doing,’ he said. ‘Just the altar brasses and the candles. I don’t know when they were last replaced, but the candles were quite low when I was in the other week. We should have new ones for the wedding, don’t you think? You do have some, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I have some here, but…’

‘Good! Good. That’s all right, then. I do appreciate it so much. I don’t know what we’d do without people like you, Mrs Smallwood. Sorry if I interrupted your tea.’

Beth put the phone down. What was the use?

She looked toward the mantel clock. Dear God, would this day never end? The last thing she wanted to do was go out again, but she supposed she must. She went into the kitchen and splashed water on her face, then dabbed it gently with a towel. There was blood on the towel. She moved to the mirror beside the door, peered into it and groaned.

Her face was a mess! Thank goodness she was only going up the lane to the church. The swelling covered one side of her face, half closing one eye, and there was a small cut above the eyebrow. She’d meant to put a cold compress on it but there wasn’t time to stop for that now. Besides, it had stopped bleeding.

Getting dressed was painful, and when she heard the rain against the window, Beth felt like giving up. She sighed heavily. Better put her wellies on just in case.

Beth went to the sideboard and took out a pair of tapered candles. They were longer and heavier than most, and still sealed in their Cellophane wrapper. She thought of the young couple getting married tomorrow in the old church. She’d never met them, but she wished them well. At least she could start them off with fresh candles on the altar.

She was on the point of leaving when a thought occurred to her. She must phone and let them know she wouldn’t be in tomorrow. Not Gresham, though. Her face burned at the very thought. She looked down the list of numbers on the pad beneath the phone, and began to dial.

*   *   *

‘I’d like a word with you, Beth Smallwood.’

Startled, Beth almost dropped the bag she was carrying. She turned to face the speaker. ‘Lord! but you gave me a fright, Mrs Turvey,’ she said, clutching her chest. ‘What…?’

‘As if you didn’t know,’ the woman sniffed. ‘That boy…’ She stopped abruptly. ‘Here, what happened to your face? Did he do that?’

‘Who? Lenny? Oh, good gracious, no, Mrs Turvey. I – I fell getting off the bus.’

The woman eyed Beth suspiciously. ‘He did, you know,’ she said. ‘I heard it through the wall. Shouting and carrying on. He beat you up, didn’t he?’ Mrs Turvey peered closely at Beth’s face. ‘You’re a fool, Beth Smallwood,’ she said not unkindly. ‘He may be your son, but he’ll be the death of you if you let it go on.’

She sighed heavily. ‘I’m sorry, Beth, but I’ve had enough. What with that bike coming and going at all hours, and that rock music in the middle of the day, it’s more than I can stand. I’m going to ring the police and let them sort him out. He’s a danger to us all.’ She turned and made as if to go back inside the house, but Beth caught her arm.

‘No! No, please, Mrs Turvey,’ she pleaded. ‘I have been on to the police – not twenty minutes ago. You’re quite right, I can’t let it go on. I realized that tonight. I’ve told Lenny he must leave, and I have an appointment to see the police first thing tomorrow morning. Really.’

Doris Turvey eyed Beth uncertainly. ‘You just see that you do, then,’ she said sternly. Her voice softened. ‘I know it must be hard, but you have to do it, Beth, or you’ll end up being one of them statistics they keep on about. I don’t know how you’ve stood it for so long.’

A gust of wind drove a spattering of rain beneath the eaves, and Beth fumbled with her umbrella. The bag she’d been carrying fell to the ground, and the candles slid out. She bent to pick it up, but gasped as a sharp pain shot through her hip. She must have hurt it when she fell, but she hadn’t noticed it until now.

Doris Turvey pursed her lips. ‘You ought to have that looked at,’ she said as she bent to pick up the candles and put them back in the bag. ‘And that mouth of yours. I can hardly understand you. You shouldn’t be going out at all.’

‘I – I’m quite all right, thank you,’ Beth said shakily. The pain was subsiding and she just wanted to get away. ‘It’s nothing, really.’ She took the bag and glanced at the sky. ‘I have to get these candles to the church. There’s a wedding there tomorrow, and they need new candles for the altar.’ She opened the umbrella and stepped out into the rain.

Doris Turvey watched as Beth set off up the lane. She shook her head and sighed. ‘I hope you’re telling me the truth, my girl,’ she muttered softly. ‘For my sake as well as yours. I can’t take much more of this.’