I was very small and the steps were very steep, but Ena clasped my hand firmly and steadied me as I climbed laboriously up them. At last we reached the top and I stood, panting, surveying the challenge of the long shadowy passageway. When the shadows shifted, and grew taller and more menacing, I shrank back against the warmth of Ena’s skirts. Her voice was comforting.
‘Nearly there now, Miss Helena.’ She tugged my hand. So I squeezed my eyelids tightly together and stepped forward. When I opened them again the shadows had backed away a little, and we ploughed steadily on until we reached the door of the nursery.
Ena turned the knob and I came out of the icy corridor into my warm safe haven, running eagerly around the screen towards the figure sitting beside the flickering firelight - anxious for the reassurance of Nanny’s enveloping lap. But I stopped, suddenly, confused - there was no lap, only a large white bundle in Nanny’s arms, in my place. My lip trembled. Then warm and welcoming came the loved voice:
‘Have you had a nice walk, Miss Helena? And, do you know, a present came for you, just while you were out - fancy that, a present for Miss Helena! Come and look ar it now, dear.’
As she spoke the white bundle was transformed; magically it became exciting, intriguing, special. Ena picked up Nanny’s footstool.
‘Up you get, Miss Helena.’
She swung me on to it, and kept a steadying hand at my waist. I gazed intently at the white mass on Nanny’s lap. Nanny raised her plump hand and very gently lifted one corner of the shawl, and as I watched a soft black down appeared, then two perfect half-moon fringes of lashes, a small nose, a tiny curved pink mouth. I gasped and leant forward, but Ena pulled me gently back, and I saw that Nanny’s hand was moving again, and to my astonishment she unveiled another black fuzz of hair, another pair of crescent lashes, a second nose, a second mouth! I reached out a tentative hand, feeling that I would burst with pride.
‘Kiss your little brothers, Miss Helena - but gently, now.’
Ena held me as I leant over and pressed my lips against one soft warm cheek, and then the other. And as I raised my head the dark lashes fluttered, first one pair, then the other, and I stood gazing down into four bright eyes, which all seemed to be looking straight back into mine. Joy and pride surged through me. I tore myself free from Ena’s restraining hand and flung myself forward, arms reaching out, to burrow into the soft breathing, living whiteness, determined to grasp them, to hold them to me for ever - and all the time I cried:
‘Hellie’s! Hellie’s!’